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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* 256 257 258 259 260 261</pre> 262 263<hr> 264<h1 align="Center">ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND</h1> 265 266<h3 align="Center">Lewis Carroll</h3> 267 268<p align="Center"><i>THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0</i></p> 269 270<hr> 271<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER I</h3> 272 273<h3 align="Center">Down the Rabbit-Hole</h3> 274 275<p>Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister 276on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had 277peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no 278pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,' 279thought Alice 'without pictures or conversation?'</p> 280 281<p>So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, 282for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether 283the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble 284of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White 285Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.</p> 286 287<p>There was nothing so <i>very</i> remarkable in that; nor did 288Alice think it so <i>very</i> much out of the way to hear the 289Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when 290she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought 291to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite 292natural); but when the Rabbit actually <i>took a watch out of its 293waistcoat-pocket,</i> and looked at it, and then hurried on, 294Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that 295she had never before seen a rabbit with either a 296waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with 297curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was 298just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the 299hedge.</p> 300 301<p>In another moment down went Alice after it, never once 302considering how in the world she was to get out again.</p> 303 304<p>The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, 305and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a 306moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself 307falling down a very deep well.</p> 308 309<p>Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for 310she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to 311wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look 312down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to 313see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and 314noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; 315here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took 316down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled 317'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it was empty: 318she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so 319managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past 320it.</p> 321 322<p>'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, 323I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll 324all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even 325if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely 326true.)</p> 327 328<p>Down, down, down. Would the fall <i>never</i> come to an end! 329'I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said 330aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. 331Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' 332(for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in 333her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a <i>very</i> 334good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no 335one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) 336'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what 337Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what 338Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice 339grand words to say.)</p> 340 341<p>Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right 342<i>through</i> the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among 343the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, 344I think--' (she was rather glad there <i>was</i> no one listening, this 345time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) '--but I shall 346have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. 347Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried 348to curtsey as she spoke--fancy <i>curtseying</i> as you're 349falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And 350what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, 351it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up 352somewhere.'</p> 353 354<p>Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon 355began talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I 356should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her 357saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down 358here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you 359might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do 360cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather 361sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, 362'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do bats eat 363cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it 364didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was 365dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand 366in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, 367Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, 368thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, 369and the fall was over.</p> 370 371<p>Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in 372a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her 373was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in 374sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away 375went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as 376it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's 377getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but 378the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, 379low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the 380roof.</p> 381 382<p>There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; 383and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the 384other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, 385wondering how she was ever to get out again.</p> 386 387<p>Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made 388of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, 389and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the 390doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or 391the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of 392them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low 393curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little 394door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key 395in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!</p> 396 397<p>Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small 398passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and 399looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. 400How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about 401among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but 402she could not even get her head though the doorway; 'and even if 403my head <i>would</i> go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it would 404be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I 405could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know 406how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had 407happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few 408things indeed were really impossible.</p> 409 410<p>There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so 411she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another 412key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up 413like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, 414('which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round 415the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words 'DRINK 416ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.</p> 417 418<p>It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little 419Alice was not going to do <i>that</i> in a hurry. 'No, I'll look 420first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "<i>poison</i>" or 421not'; for she had read several nice little histories about 422children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other 423unpleasant things, all because they <i>would</i> not remember the 424simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a 425red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if 426you cut your finger <i>very</i> deeply with a knife, it usually 427bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from 428a bottle marked '<i>poison</i>,' it is almost certain to disagree 429with you, sooner or later.</p> 430 431<p>However, this bottle was <i>not</i> marked 'poison,' so Alice 432ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, 433a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, 434roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon 435finished it off.</p> 436 437<p class="asterisks"> 438<br> 439* * * * * 440<br> 441* * * * 442<br> 443* * * * * 444<br> 445</p> 446 447<p>'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up 448like a telescope.'</p> 449 450<p>And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and 451her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right 452size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. 453First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was 454going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about 455this; 'for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, 'in my 456going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be 457like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is 458like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember 459ever having seen such a thing.</p> 460 461<p>After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided 462on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when 463she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little 464golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found 465she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly 466through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the 467legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had 468tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and 469cried.</p> 470 471<p>'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to 472herself, rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' 473She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very 474seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so 475severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered 476trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game 477of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious 478child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no 479use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! Why, 480there's hardly enough of me left to make <i>one</i> respectable 481person!'</p> 482 483<p>Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under 484the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on 485which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 486'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, 487I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep 488under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I 489don't care which happens!'</p> 490 491<p>She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which 492way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel 493which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find 494that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally 495happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the 496way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, 497that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the 498common way.</p> 499 500<p>So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.</p> 501 502<p class="asterisks"> 503<br> 504* * * * * 505<br> 506* * * * 507<br> 508* * * * * 509<br> 510</p> 511 512<hr> 513<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER II</h3> 514 515<h3 align="Center">The Pool of Tears</h3> 516 517<p>'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much 518surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good 519English); 'now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that 520ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, 521they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far 522off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your 523shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure <i>I</i> shan't 524be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself 525about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be 526kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way 527I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots 528every Christmas.'</p> 529 530<p>And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 531'They must go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll 532seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the 533directions will look!</p> 534 535<blockquote><i>ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.</i> 536<p><i>HEARTHRUG,</i></p> 537 538<p><i>NEAR THE FENDER,</i></p> 539 540<p><i>(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).</i></p> 541</blockquote> 542 543<p>Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'</p> 544 545<p>Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in 546fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took 547up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.</p> 548 549<p>Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one 550side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get 551through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to 552cry again.</p> 553 554<p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great 555girl like you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in 556this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the 557same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all 558round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the 559hall.</p> 560 561<p>After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the 562distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. 563It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a 564pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the 565other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to 566himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! 567<i>won't</i> she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt 568so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when 569the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If 570you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the 571white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness 572as hard as he could go.</p> 573 574<p>Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very 575hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 576'Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things 577went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the 578night? Let me think: <i>was</i> I the same when I got up this 579morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little 580different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in 581the world am I? Ah, <i>that's</i> the great puzzle!' And she 582began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the 583same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for 584any of them.</p> 585 586<p>'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such 587long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm 588sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, 589oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, <i>she's</i> she, and 590<i>I'm</i> I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I 591know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five 592is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven 593is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, 594the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. 595London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, 596and Rome--no, <i>that's</i> all wrong, I'm certain! I must have 597been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "<i>How doth the 598little--</i>"' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she 599were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice 600sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same 601as they used to do:--</p> 602 603<blockquote><i>'How doth the little crocodile</i> 604<p><i>Improve his shining tail,</i></p> 605 606<p><i>And pour the waters of the Nile</i></p> 607 608<p><i>On every golden scale!</i></p> 609 610<p><i><br> 611'How cheerfully he seems to grin,</i></p> 612 613<p><i>How neatly spread his claws,</i></p> 614 615<p><i>And welcome little fishes in</i></p> 616 617<p><i>With gently smiling jaws!</i>'</p> 618</blockquote> 619 620<p>'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and 621her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel 622after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little 623house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so 624many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm 625Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their 626heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up 627and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like 628being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till 629I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden 630burst of tears, 'I do wish they <i>would</i> put their heads 631down! I am so <i>very</i> tired of being all alone here!'</p> 632 633<p>As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was 634surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little 635white kid gloves while she was talking. 'How <i>can</i> I have 636done that?' she thought. 'I must be growing small again.' She got 637up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found 638that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet 639high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that 640the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it 641hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.</p> 642 643<p>'That <i>was</i> a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal 644frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself 645still in existence; 'and now for the garden!' and she ran with 646all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was 647shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass 648table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' thought the 649poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! And 650I declare it's too bad, that it is!'</p> 651 652<p>As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another 653moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first 654idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that 655case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had 656been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general 657conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find 658a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in 659the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and 660behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that 661she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine 662feet high.</p> 663 664<p>'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam 665about, trying to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it 666now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That 667<i>will</i> be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is 668queer to-day.'</p> 669 670<p>Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a 671little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at 672first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then 673she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that 674it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.</p> 675 676<p>'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to 677this mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I 678should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no 679harm in trying.' So she began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out 680of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' 681(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: 682she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having 683seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of a mouse--to a 684mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather 685inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little 686eyes, but it said nothing.</p> 687 688<p>'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I 689daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the 690Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no 691very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she 692began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in 693her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the 694water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'Oh, I beg your 695pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor 696animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'</p> 697 698<p>'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate 699voice. 'Would <i>you</i> like cats if you were me?'</p> 700 701<p>'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be 702angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I 703think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She 704is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as 705she swam lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so 706nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and 707she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital 708one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, 709for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt 710certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any 711more if you'd rather not.'</p> 712 713<p>'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the 714end of his tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our 715family always <i>hated</i> cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't 716let me hear the name again!'</p> 717 718<p>'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the 719subject of conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' 720The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is 721such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! 722A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly 723brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll 724sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't 725remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and 726he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He says it 727kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful 728tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was 729swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a 730commotion in the pool as it went.</p> 731 732<p>So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back 733again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't 734like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam 735slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice 736thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let us get to 737the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll 738understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'</p> 739 740<p>It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded 741with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a 742Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious 743creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the 744shore.</p> 745 746<hr> 747<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER III</h3> 748 749<h3 align="Center">A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale</h3> 750 751<p>They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the 752bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their 753fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and 754uncomfortable.</p> 755 756<p>The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they 757had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed 758quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with 759them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had 760quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, 761and would only say, 'I am older than you, and must know better'; 762and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, 763and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no 764more to be said.</p> 765 766<p>At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority 767among them, called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! 768<i>I'll</i> soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, 769in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her 770eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a 771bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.</p> 772 773<p>'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all 774ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you 775please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the 776pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, 777and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. 778Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'</p> 779 780<p>'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.</p> 781 782<p>'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very 783politely: 'Did you speak?'</p> 784 785<p>'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.</p> 786 787<p>'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and 788Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: 789and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found 790it advisable--"'</p> 791 792<p>'Found <i>what</i>?' said the Duck.</p> 793 794<p>'Found <i>it</i>,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of 795course you know what "it" means.'</p> 796 797<p>'I know what "it" means well enough, when <i>I</i> find a 798thing,' said the Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The 799question is, what did the archbishop find?'</p> 800 801<p>The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, 802'"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William 803and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. 804But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now, 805my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.</p> 806 807<p>'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't 808seem to dry me at all.'</p> 809 810<p>'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I 811move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more 812energetic remedies--'</p> 813 814<p>'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of 815half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do 816either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some 817of the other birds tittered audibly.</p> 818 819<p>'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 820'was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a 821Caucus-race.'</p> 822 823<p>'What <i>is</i> a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she 824wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought 825that <i>somebody</i> ought to speak, and no one else seemed 826inclined to say anything.</p> 827 828<p>'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do 829it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some 830winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)</p> 831 832<p>First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the 833exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party 834were placed along the course, here and there. There was no 'One, 835two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, 836and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know 837when the race was over. However, when they had been running half 838an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called 839out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, 840and asking, 'But who has won?'</p> 841 842<p>This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal 843of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed 844upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see 845Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in 846silence. At last the Dodo said, '<i>everybody</i> has won, and 847<i>all</i> must have prizes.'</p> 848 849<p>'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices 850asked.</p> 851 852<p>'Why, <i>she</i>, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice 853with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, 854calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'</p> 855 856<p>Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand 857in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt 858water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. 859There was exactly one a-piece all round.</p> 860 861<p>'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the 862Mouse.</p> 863 864<p>'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have 865you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.</p> 866 867<p>'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.</p> 868 869<p>'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.</p> 870 871<p>Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo 872solemnly presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of 873this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short 874speech, they all cheered.</p> 875 876<p>Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked 877so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not 878think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, 879looking as solemn as she could.</p> 880 881<p>The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise 882and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not 883taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on 884the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again 885in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.</p> 886 887<p>'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 888'and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half 889afraid that it would be offended again.</p> 890 891<p>'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to 892Alice, and sighing.</p> 893 894<p>'It <i>is</i> a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with 895wonder at the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she 896kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that 897her idea of the tale was something like this:--</p> 898 899<p>'Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, "Let us both 900go to law: I will prosecute <i>you</i>. --Come, I'll take no 901denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I've 902nothing to do." Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial, dear 903Sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath." "I'll be 904judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury: "I'll try the whole 905cause, and condemn you to death."'</p> 906 907<p>'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 908'What are you thinking of?'</p> 909 910<p>'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to 911the fifth bend, I think?'</p> 912 913<p>'I had <i>not</i>!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very 914angrily.</p> 915 916<p>'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and 917looking anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'</p> 918 919<p>'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up 920and walking away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'</p> 921 922<p>'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily 923offended, you know!'</p> 924 925<p>The Mouse only growled in reply.</p> 926 927<p>'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after 928it; and the others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but 929the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little 930quicker.</p> 931 932<p>'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it 933was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of 934saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you 935never to lose <i>your</i> temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said 936the young Crab, a little snappishly. 'You're enough to try the 937patience of an oyster!'</p> 938 939<p>'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, 940addressing nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'</p> 941 942<p>'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' 943said the Lory.</p> 944 945<p>Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about 946her pet: 'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for 947catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her 948after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at 949it!'</p> 950 951<p>This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. 952Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began 953wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really must be 954getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary 955called out in a trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my 956dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts 957they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.</p> 958 959<p>'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a 960melancholy tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm 961sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder 962if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to 963cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little 964while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps 965in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the 966Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his 967story.</p> 968 969<hr> 970<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IV</h3> 971 972<h3 align="Center">The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill</h3> 973 974<p>It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and 975looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; 976and she heard it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! 977Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, 978as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where <i>can</i> I have dropped 979them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking 980for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very 981good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were 982nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her 983swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and 984the little door, had vanished completely.</p> 985 986<p>Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, 987and called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what 988<i>are</i> you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me 989a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much 990frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed 991to, without trying to explain the mistake it had made.</p> 992 993<p>'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she 994ran. 'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd 995better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' 996As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door 997of which was a bright brass plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' 998engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried 999upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, 1000and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and 1001gloves.</p> 1002 1003<p>'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going 1004messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on 1005messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that 1006would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for 1007your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see that 1008the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on, 1009'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering 1010people about like that!'</p> 1011 1012<p>By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room 1013with a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan 1014and two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the 1015fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the 1016room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the 1017looking- glass. There was no label this time with the words 1018'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her 1019lips. 'I know <i>something</i> interesting is sure to happen,' 1020she said to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll 1021just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow 1022large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny 1023little thing!'</p> 1024 1025<p>It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: 1026before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing 1027against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being 1028broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 1029'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I 1030can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so 1031much!'</p> 1032 1033<p>Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and 1034growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another 1035minute there was not even room for this, and she tried the effect 1036of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the other arm 1037curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last 1038resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the 1039chimney, and said to herself 'Now I can do no more, whatever 1040happens. What <i>will</i> become of me?'</p> 1041 1042<p>Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its 1043full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very 1044uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of 1045her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt 1046unhappy.</p> 1047 1048<p>'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when 1049one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered 1050about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that 1051rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, 1052this sort of life! I do wonder what <i>can</i> have happened to 1053me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing 1054never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There 1055ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I 1056grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a 1057sorrowful tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more 1058<i>here</i>.'</p> 1059 1060<p>'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I <i>never</i> get any older 1061than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old 1062woman-- but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I 1063shouldn't like <i>that</i>!'</p> 1064 1065<p>'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you 1066learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for you, and no 1067room at all for any lesson-books!'</p> 1068 1069<p>And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, 1070and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few 1071minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.</p> 1072 1073<p>'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this 1074moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. 1075Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she 1076trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was 1077now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no 1078reason to be afraid of it.</p> 1079 1080<p>Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open 1081it; but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was 1082pressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice 1083heard it say to itself 'Then I'll go round and get in at the 1084window.'</p> 1085 1086<p>'<i>That</i> you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till 1087she fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she 1088suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She 1089did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a 1090fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that 1091it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or 1092something of the sort.</p> 1093 1094<p>Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are 1095you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm 1096here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'</p> 1097 1098<p>'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! 1099Come and help me out of <i>this</i>!' (Sounds of more broken 1100glass.)</p> 1101 1102<p>'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'</p> 1103 1104<p>'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 1105'arrum.')</p> 1106 1107<p>'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills 1108the whole window!'</p> 1109 1110<p>'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'</p> 1111 1112<p>'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it 1113away!'</p> 1114 1115<p>There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear 1116whispers now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer 1117honour, at all, at all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at 1118last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in 1119the air. This time there were <i>two</i> little shrieks, and more 1120sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of cucumber-frames there 1121must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for 1122pulling me out of the window, I only wish they <i>could</i>! I'm 1123sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'</p> 1124 1125<p>She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at 1126last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a 1127good many voices all talking together: she made out the words: 1128'Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; 1129Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up 1130at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half 1131high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be 1132particular-- Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof 1133bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' 1134(a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's 1135to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! <i>you</i> do it!--That I 1136won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says 1137you're to go down the chimney!'</p> 1138 1139<p>'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said 1140Alice to herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I 1141wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is 1142narrow, to be sure; but I <i>think</i> I can kick a little!'</p> 1143 1144<p>She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and 1145waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what 1146sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close 1147above her: then, saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one 1148sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.</p> 1149 1150<p>The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes 1151Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the 1152hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold 1153up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? 1154What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'</p> 1155 1156<p>Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' 1157thought Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm 1158better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know 1159is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes 1160like a sky-rocket!'</p> 1161 1162<p>'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.</p> 1163 1164<p>'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and 1165Alice called out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah 1166at you!'</p> 1167 1168<p>There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to 1169herself, 'I wonder what they <i>will</i> do next! If they had any 1170sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they 1171began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A 1172barrowful will do, to begin with.'</p> 1173 1174<p>'A barrowful of <i>what</i>?' thought Alice; but she had not 1175long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles 1176came rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the 1177face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted 1178out, 'You'd better not do that again!' which produced another 1179dead silence.</p> 1180 1181<p>Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all 1182turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright 1183idea came into her head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she 1184thought, 'it's sure to make <i>some</i> change in my size; and as 1185it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I 1186suppose.'</p> 1187 1188<p>So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find 1189that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small 1190enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and 1191found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. 1192The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by 1193two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. 1194They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she 1195ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a 1196thick wood.</p> 1197 1198<p>'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as 1199she wandered about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size 1200again; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely 1201garden. I think that will be the best plan.'</p> 1202 1203<p>It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and 1204simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the 1205smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering 1206about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over 1207her head made her look up in a great hurry.</p> 1208 1209<p>An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round 1210eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 1211'Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried 1212hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the 1213time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it 1214would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her 1215coaxing.</p> 1216 1217<p>Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of 1218stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped 1219into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, 1220and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice 1221dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run 1222over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy 1223made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in 1224its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very 1225like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every 1226moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle 1227again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the 1228stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long 1229way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat 1230down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its 1231mouth, and its great eyes half shut.</p> 1232 1233<p>This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; 1234so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out 1235of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the 1236distance.</p> 1237 1238<p>'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she 1239leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself 1240with one of the leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks 1241very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! 1242I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me 1243see--how <i>is</i> it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink 1244something or other; but the great question is, what?'</p> 1245 1246<p>The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round 1247her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see 1248anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under 1249the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, 1250about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under 1251it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her 1252that she might as well look and see what was on the top of 1253it.</p> 1254 1255<p>She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge 1256of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large 1257caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, 1258quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice 1259of her or of anything else.</p> 1260 1261<hr> 1262<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER V</h3> 1263 1264<h3 align="Center">Advice from a Caterpillar</h3> 1265 1266<p>The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time 1267in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1268mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.</p> 1269 1270<p>'Who are <i>you</i>?' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1271 1272<p>This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice 1273replied, rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- 1274at least I know who I <i>was</i> when I got up this morning, but I think 1275I must have been changed several times since then.'</p> 1276 1277<p>'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 1278'Explain yourself!'</p> 1279 1280<p>'I can't explain <i>myself</i>, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 1281'because I'm not myself, you see.'</p> 1282 1283<p>'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1284 1285<p>'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very 1286politely, 'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and 1287being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'</p> 1288 1289<p>'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1290 1291<p>'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but 1292when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you 1293know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll 1294feel it a little queer, won't you?'</p> 1295 1296<p>'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1297 1298<p>'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 1299'all I know is, it would feel very queer to <i>me</i>.'</p> 1300 1301<p>'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are 1302<i>you</i>?'</p> 1303 1304<p>Which brought them back again to the beginning of the 1305conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's 1306making such <i>very</i> short remarks, and she drew herself up 1307and said, very gravely, 'I think, you ought to tell me who 1308<i>you</i> are, first.'</p> 1309 1310<p>'Why?' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1311 1312<p>Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not 1313think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in 1314a <i>very</i> unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.</p> 1315 1316<p>'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something 1317important to say!'</p> 1318 1319<p>This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back 1320again.</p> 1321 1322<p>'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1323 1324<p>'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well 1325as she could.</p> 1326 1327<p>'No,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1328 1329<p>Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else 1330to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth 1331hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at 1332last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth 1333again, and said, 'So you think you're changed, do you?'</p> 1334 1335<p>'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things 1336as I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes 1337together!'</p> 1338 1339<p>'Can't remember <i>what</i> things?' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1340 1341<p>'Well, I've tried to say "<i>How doth the little busy 1342bee,</i>" but it all came different!' Alice replied in a very 1343melancholy voice.</p> 1344 1345<p>'Repeat, "<i>you are old, Father William,</i>"' said the 1346Caterpillar.</p> 1347 1348<p>Alice folded her hands, and began:--</p> 1349 1350<p><i>'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 'And 1351your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on 1352your head-- Do you think, at your age, it is right?'</i></p> 1353 1354<p><i>'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 'I feared 1355it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I 1356have none, Why, I do it again and again.'</i></p> 1357 1358<p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, And 1359have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault 1360in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that?'</i></p> 1361 1362<p><i>'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 1363'I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment--one 1364shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple?'</i></p> 1365 1366<p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak 1367For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with 1368the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to do 1369it?'</i></p> 1370 1371<p><i>'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, And 1372argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which 1373it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.'</i></p> 1374 1375<p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose 1376That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on 1377the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully clever?'</i></p> 1378 1379<p><i>'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' Said 1380his father; 'don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen 1381all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down 1382stairs!'</i></p> 1383 1384<p>'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1385 1386<p>'Not <i>quite</i> right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 1387'some of the words have got altered.'</p> 1388 1389<p>'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar 1390decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.</p> 1391 1392<p>The Caterpillar was the first to speak.</p> 1393 1394<p>'What size do you want to be?' it asked.</p> 1395 1396<p>'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 1397'only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'</p> 1398 1399<p>'I <i>don't</i> know,' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1400 1401<p>Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in 1402her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.</p> 1403 1404<p>'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.</p> 1405 1406<p>'Well, I should like to be a <i>little</i> larger, sir, if you 1407wouldn't mind,' said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched 1408height to be.'</p> 1409 1410<p>'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar 1411angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three 1412inches high).</p> 1413 1414<p>'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous 1415tone. And she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't 1416be so easily offended!'</p> 1417 1418<p>'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it 1419put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.</p> 1420 1421<p>This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak 1422again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of 1423its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got 1424down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely 1425remarking as it went, 'One side will make you grow taller, and 1426the other side will make you grow shorter.'</p> 1427 1428<p>'One side of <i>what</i>? The other side of <i>what</i>?' 1429thought Alice to herself.</p> 1430 1431<p>'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had 1432asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.</p> 1433 1434<p>Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a 1435minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as 1436it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. 1437However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they 1438would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.</p> 1439 1440<p>'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a 1441little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment 1442she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her 1443foot!</p> 1444 1445<p>She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but 1446she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking 1447rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. 1448Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was 1449hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and 1450managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.</p> 1451 1452<p align="Center">* * * * *</p> 1453 1454<p>'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of 1455delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she 1456found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could 1457see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which 1458seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay 1459far below her.</p> 1460 1461<p>'What <i>can</i> all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And 1462where <i>have</i> my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how 1463is it I can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, 1464but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the 1465distant green leaves.</p> 1466 1467<p>As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her 1468head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted 1469to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, 1470like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a 1471graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which 1472she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she 1473had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a 1474hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating 1475her violently with its wings.</p> 1476 1477<p>'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.</p> 1478 1479<p>'I'm <i>not</i> a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me 1480alone!'</p> 1481 1482<p>'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more 1483subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every 1484way, and nothing seems to suit them!'</p> 1485 1486<p>'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said 1487Alice.</p> 1488 1489<p>'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've 1490tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but 1491those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'</p> 1492 1493<p>Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no 1494use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.</p> 1495 1496<p>'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the 1497Pigeon; 'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and 1498day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'</p> 1499 1500<p>'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was 1501beginning to see its meaning.</p> 1502 1503<p>'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' 1504continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as 1505I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs 1506come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'</p> 1507 1508<p>'But I'm <i>not</i> a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm 1509a--I'm a--'</p> 1510 1511<p>'Well! <i>what</i> are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see 1512you're trying to invent something!'</p> 1513 1514<p>'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she 1515remembered the number of changes she had gone through that 1516day.</p> 1517 1518<p>'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the 1519deepest contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, 1520but never <i>one</i> with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a 1521serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be 1522telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'</p> 1523 1524<p>'I <i>have</i> tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a 1525very truthful child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as 1526serpents do, you know.'</p> 1527 1528<p>'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why 1529then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'</p> 1530 1531<p>This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent 1532for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of 1533adding, 'You're looking for eggs, I know <i>that</i> well enough; 1534and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a 1535serpent?'</p> 1536 1537<p>'It matters a good deal to <i>me</i>,' said Alice hastily; 1538'but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I 1539shouldn't want <i>yours</i>: I don't like them raw.'</p> 1540 1541<p>'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it 1542settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the 1543trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled 1544among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and 1545untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the 1546pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very 1547carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and 1548growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had 1549succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.</p> 1550 1551<p>It was so long since she had been anything near the right 1552size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it 1553in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, 1554there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes 1555are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to 1556another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing 1557is, to get into that beautiful garden--how <i>is</i> that to be 1558done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open 1559place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever 1560lives there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them 1561<i>this</i> size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!' 1562So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not 1563venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to 1564nine inches high.</p> 1565 1566<hr> 1567<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VI</h3> 1568 1569<h3 align="Center">Pig and Pepper</h3> 1570 1571<p>For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and 1572wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came 1573running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman 1574because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, 1575she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door 1576with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, 1577with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, 1578Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their 1579heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and 1580crept a little way out of the wood to listen.</p> 1581 1582<p>The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great 1583letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to 1584the other, saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An 1585invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman 1586repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the 1587words a little, 'From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to 1588play croquet.'</p> 1589 1590<p>Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled 1591together.</p> 1592 1593<p>Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into 1594the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped 1595out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the 1596ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.</p> 1597 1598<p>Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.</p> 1599 1600<p>'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and 1601that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the 1602door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise 1603inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was 1604a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling 1605and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish 1606or kettle had been broken to pieces.</p> 1607 1608<p>'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'</p> 1609 1610<p>'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went 1611on without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For 1612instance, if you were <i>inside</i>, you might knock, and I could 1613let you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the 1614time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 1615'But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; 'his eyes 1616are so <i>very</i> nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate 1617he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, 1618aloud.</p> 1619 1620<p>'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till 1621tomorrow--'</p> 1622 1623<p>At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate 1624came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed 1625his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind 1626him.</p> 1627 1628<p>'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same 1629tone, exactly as if nothing had happened.</p> 1630 1631<p>'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.</p> 1632 1633<p>'<i>Are</i> you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's 1634the first question, you know.'</p> 1635 1636<p>It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's 1637really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the 1638creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'</p> 1639 1640<p>The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for 1641repeating his remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he 1642said, 'on and off, for days and days.'</p> 1643 1644<p>'But what am I to do?' said Alice.</p> 1645 1646<p>'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began 1647whistling.</p> 1648 1649<p>'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice 1650desperately: 'he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door 1651and went in.</p> 1652 1653<p>The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of 1654smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a 1655three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was 1656leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to 1657be full of soup.</p> 1658 1659<p>'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said 1660to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.</p> 1661 1662<p>There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the 1663Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was 1664sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The 1665only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, 1666and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from 1667ear to ear.</p> 1668 1669<p>'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for 1670she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to 1671speak first, 'why your cat grins like that?'</p> 1672 1673<p>'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. 1674Pig!'</p> 1675 1676<p>She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice 1677quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed 1678to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on 1679again:--</p> 1680 1681<p>'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I 1682didn't know that cats <i>could</i> grin.'</p> 1683 1684<p>'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'</p> 1685 1686<p>'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, 1687feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.</p> 1688 1689<p>'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a 1690fact.'</p> 1691 1692<p>Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought 1693it would be as well to introduce some other subject of 1694conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took 1695the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work 1696throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby 1697--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, 1698plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when 1699they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it 1700was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.</p> 1701 1702<p>'Oh, <i>please</i> mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, 1703jumping up and down in an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his 1704<i>precious</i> nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close 1705by it, and very nearly carried it off.</p> 1706 1707<p>'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in 1708a hoarse growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it 1709does.'</p> 1710 1711<p>'Which would <i>not</i> be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt 1712very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her 1713knowledge. 'Just think of what work it would make with the day 1714and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn 1715round on its axis--'</p> 1716 1717<p>'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'</p> 1718 1719<p>Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she 1720meant to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the 1721soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: 1722'Twenty-four hours, I <i>think</i>; or is it twelve? I--'</p> 1723 1724<p>'Oh, don't bother <i>me</i>,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide 1725figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, 1726singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a 1727violent shake at the end of every line:</p> 1728 1729<p align="Center"><i>'Speak roughly to your little boy,</i></p> 1730 1731<p align="Center"><i>And beat him when he sneezes:</i></p> 1732 1733<p align="Center"><i>He only does it to annoy,</i></p> 1734 1735<p align="Center"><i>Because he knows it teases.'</i></p> 1736 1737<p align="Center">CHORUS</p> 1738 1739<p>(In which the cook and the baby joined):--</p> 1740 1741<p align="Center">'Wow! wow! wow!'</p> 1742 1743<p>While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept 1744tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing 1745howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--</p> 1746 1747<p align="Center"><i>'I speak severely to my boy,</i></p> 1748 1749<p align="Center"><i>I beat him when he sneezes;</i></p> 1750 1751<p align="Center"><i>For he can thoroughly enjoy</i></p> 1752 1753<p align="Center"><i>The pepper when he pleases!'</i></p> 1754 1755<p align="Center">CHORUS</p> 1756 1757<p align="Center">'Wow! wow! wow!'</p> 1758 1759<p>'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said 1760to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and 1761get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of 1762the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, 1763but it just missed her.</p> 1764 1765<p>Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- 1766shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all 1767directions, 'just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor 1768little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, 1769and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, 1770so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much 1771as she could do to hold it.</p> 1772 1773<p>As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, 1774(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep 1775tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its 1776undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. '<i>If</i> 1777I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, 'they're 1778sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave 1779it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little 1780thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). 1781'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of 1782expressing yourself.'</p> 1783 1784<p>The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into 1785its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no 1786doubt that it had a <i>very</i> turn-up nose, much more like a 1787snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely 1788small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the 1789thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and 1790looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.</p> 1791 1792<p>No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, 1793my dear,' said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do 1794with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or 1795grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for 1796some while in silence.</p> 1797 1798<p>Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I 1799to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted 1800again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some 1801alarm. This time there could be <i>no</i> mistake about it: it 1802was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would 1803be quite absurd for her to carry it further.</p> 1804 1805<p>So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved 1806to see it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' 1807she said to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: 1808but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began 1809thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as 1810pigs, and was just saying to herself, 'if one only knew the right 1811way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing 1812the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards 1813off.</p> 1814 1815<p>The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- 1816natured, she thought: still it had <i>very</i> long claws and a 1817great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with 1818respect.</p> 1819 1820<p>'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at 1821all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned 1822a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and 1823she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go 1824from here?'</p> 1825 1826<p>'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said 1827the Cat.</p> 1828 1829<p>'I don't much care where--' said Alice.</p> 1830 1831<p>'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.</p> 1832 1833<p>'--so long as I get <i>somewhere</i>,' Alice added as an 1834explanation.</p> 1835 1836<p>'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk 1837long enough.'</p> 1838 1839<p>Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another 1840question. 'What sort of people live about here?'</p> 1841 1842<p>'In <i>that</i> direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw 1843round, 'lives a Hatter: and in <i>that</i> direction,' waving the 1844other paw, 'lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're 1845both mad.'</p> 1846 1847<p>'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.</p> 1848 1849<p>'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. 1850I'm mad. You're mad.'</p> 1851 1852<p>'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.</p> 1853 1854<p>'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come 1855here.'</p> 1856 1857<p>Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 1858'And how do you know that you're mad?'</p> 1859 1860<p>'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant 1861that?'</p> 1862 1863<p>'I suppose so,' said Alice.</p> 1864 1865<p>'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when 1866it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when 1867I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm 1868mad.'</p> 1869 1870<p>'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.</p> 1871 1872<p>'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet 1873with the Queen to-day?'</p> 1874 1875<p>'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been 1876invited yet.'</p> 1877 1878<p>'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.</p> 1879 1880<p>Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used 1881to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place 1882where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.</p> 1883 1884<p>'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd 1885nearly forgotten to ask.'</p> 1886 1887<p>'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had 1888come back in a natural way.</p> 1889 1890<p>'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.</p> 1891 1892<p>Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it 1893did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the 1894direction in which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen 1895hatters before,' she said to herself; 'the March Hare will be 1896much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be 1897raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said 1898this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a 1899branch of a tree.</p> 1900 1901<p>'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.</p> 1902 1903<p>'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep 1904appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite 1905giddy.'</p> 1906 1907<p>'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite 1908slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the 1909grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.</p> 1910 1911<p>'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 1912'but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw 1913in my life!'</p> 1914 1915<p>She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the 1916house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, 1917because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was 1918thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not like 1919to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand bit 1920of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then 1921she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself 1922'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd 1923gone to see the Hatter instead!'</p> 1924 1925<hr> 1926<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VII</h3> 1927 1928<h3 align="Center">A Mad Tea-Party</h3> 1929 1930<p>There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, 1931and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a 1932Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two 1933were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and 1934talking over its head. 'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' 1935thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't 1936mind.'</p> 1937 1938<p>The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded 1939together at one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out 1940when they saw Alice coming. 'There's <i>plenty</i> of room!' said 1941Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one 1942end of the table.</p> 1943 1944<p>'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging 1945tone.</p> 1946 1947<p>Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it 1948but tea. 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.</p> 1949 1950<p>'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.</p> 1951 1952<p>'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice 1953angrily.</p> 1954 1955<p>'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being 1956invited,' said the March Hare.</p> 1957 1958<p>'I didn't know it was <i>your</i> table,' said Alice; 'it's 1959laid for a great many more than three.'</p> 1960 1961<p>'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been 1962looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was 1963his first speech.</p> 1964 1965<p>'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said 1966with some severity; 'it's very rude.'</p> 1967 1968<p>The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all 1969he <i>said</i> was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'</p> 1970 1971<p>'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad 1972they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she 1973added aloud.</p> 1974 1975<p>'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to 1976it?' said the March Hare.</p> 1977 1978<p>'Exactly so,' said Alice.</p> 1979 1980<p>'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went 1981on.</p> 1982 1983<p>'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what 1984I say--that's the same thing, you know.'</p> 1985 1986<p>'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just 1987as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat 1988what I see"!'</p> 1989 1990<p>'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I 1991like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'</p> 1992 1993<p>'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed 1994to be talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the 1995same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'</p> 1996 1997<p>'It <i>is</i> the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and 1998here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a 1999minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about 2000ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.</p> 2001 2002<p>The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of 2003the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his 2004watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking 2005it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.</p> 2006 2007<p>Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'</p> 2008 2009<p>'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter 2010wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March 2011Hare.</p> 2012 2013<p>'It was the <i>best</i> butter,' the March Hare meekly 2014replied.</p> 2015 2016<p>'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter 2017grumbled: 'you shouldn't have put it in with the 2018bread-knife.'</p> 2019 2020<p>The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then 2021he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he 2022could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It 2023was the <i>best</i> butter, you know.'</p> 2024 2025<p>Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 2026'What a funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the 2027month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'</p> 2028 2029<p>'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does <i>your</i> watch 2030tell you what year it is?'</p> 2031 2032<p>'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's 2033because it stays the same year for such a long time 2034together.'</p> 2035 2036<p>'Which is just the case with <i>mine</i>,' said the 2037Hatter.</p> 2038 2039<p>Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to 2040have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 2041'I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she 2042could.</p> 2043 2044<p>'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured 2045a little hot tea upon its nose.</p> 2046 2047<p>The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without 2048opening its eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to 2049remark myself.'</p> 2050 2051<p>'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to 2052Alice again.</p> 2053 2054<p>'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'</p> 2055 2056<p>'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.</p> 2057 2058<p>'Nor I,' said the March Hare.</p> 2059 2060<p>Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better 2061with the time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that 2062have no answers.'</p> 2063 2064<p>'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you 2065wouldn't talk about wasting <i>it</i>. It's <i>him</i>.'</p> 2066 2067<p>'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.</p> 2068 2069<p>'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head 2070contemptuously. 'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'</p> 2071 2072<p>'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to 2073beat time when I learn music.'</p> 2074 2075<p>'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand 2076beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do 2077almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose 2078it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: 2079you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 2080clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'</p> 2081 2082<p>('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a 2083whisper.)</p> 2084 2085<p>'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 2086'but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'</p> 2087 2088<p>'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep 2089it to half-past one as long as you liked.'</p> 2090 2091<p>'Is that the way <i>you</i> manage?' Alice asked.</p> 2092 2093<p>The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We 2094quarrelled last March--just before <i>he</i> went mad, you 2095know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it 2096was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had 2097to sing</p> 2098 2099<p><i>"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!</i></p> 2100 2101<p><i>How I wonder what you're at!"</i></p> 2102 2103<p>You know the song, perhaps?'</p> 2104 2105<p>'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.</p> 2106 2107<p>'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this 2108way:--</p> 2109 2110<p><i>"Up above the world you fly,</i></p> 2111 2112<p><i>Like a tea-tray in the sky.</i></p> 2113 2114<p><i>Twinkle, twinkle--"'</i></p> 2115 2116<p>Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 2117'<i>Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--</i>' and went on so long 2118that they had to pinch it to make it stop.</p> 2119 2120<p>'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 2121'when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the 2122time! Off with his head!"'</p> 2123 2124<p>'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.</p> 2125 2126<p>'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 2127'he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'</p> 2128 2129<p>A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so 2130many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.</p> 2131 2132<p>'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always 2133tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between 2134whiles.'</p> 2135 2136<p>'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.</p> 2137 2138<p>'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used 2139up.'</p> 2140 2141<p>'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice 2142ventured to ask.</p> 2143 2144<p>'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, 2145yawning. 'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells 2146us a story.'</p> 2147 2148<p>'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at 2149the proposal.</p> 2150 2151<p>'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, 2152Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.</p> 2153 2154<p>The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he 2155said in a hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows 2156were saying.'</p> 2157 2158<p>'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.</p> 2159 2160<p>'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.</p> 2161 2162<p>'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be 2163asleep again before it's done.'</p> 2164 2165<p>'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the 2166Dormouse began in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, 2167Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'</p> 2168 2169<p>'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great 2170interest in questions of eating and drinking.</p> 2171 2172<p>'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a 2173minute or two.</p> 2174 2175<p>'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently 2176remarked; 'they'd have been ill.'</p> 2177 2178<p>'So they were,' said the Dormouse; '<i>very</i> ill.'</p> 2179 2180<p>Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary 2181ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she 2182went on: 'But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'</p> 2183 2184<p>'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very 2185earnestly.</p> 2186 2187<p>'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so 2188I can't take more.'</p> 2189 2190<p>'You mean you can't take <i>less</i>,' said the Hatter: 'it's 2191very easy to take <i>more</i> than nothing.'</p> 2192 2193<p>'Nobody asked <i>your</i> opinion,' said Alice.</p> 2194 2195<p>'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked 2196triumphantly.</p> 2197 2198<p>Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped 2199herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the 2200Dormouse, and repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the 2201bottom of a well?'</p> 2202 2203<p>The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and 2204then said, 'It was a treacle-well.'</p> 2205 2206<p>'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but 2207the Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse 2208sulkily remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the 2209story for yourself.'</p> 2210 2211<p>'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt 2212again. I dare say there may be <i>one</i>.'</p> 2213 2214<p>'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he 2215consented to go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were 2216learning to draw, you know--'</p> 2217 2218<p>'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her 2219promise.</p> 2220 2221<p>'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this 2222time.</p> 2223 2224<p>'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move 2225one place on.'</p> 2226 2227<p>He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the 2228March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather 2229unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the 2230only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a 2231good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset 2232the milk-jug into his plate.</p> 2233 2234<p>Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began 2235very cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the 2236treacle from?'</p> 2237 2238<p>'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so 2239I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, 2240stupid?'</p> 2241 2242<p>'But they were <i>in</i> the well,' Alice said to the 2243Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.</p> 2244 2245<p>'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.'</p> 2246 2247<p>This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse 2248go on for some time without interrupting it.</p> 2249 2250<p>'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning 2251and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they 2252drew all manner of things--everything that begins with an 2253M--'</p> 2254 2255<p>'Why with an M?' said Alice.</p> 2256 2257<p>'Why not?' said the March Hare.</p> 2258 2259<p>Alice was silent.</p> 2260 2261<p>The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going 2262off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up 2263again with a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an 2264M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- 2265you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever 2266see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'</p> 2267 2268<p>'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I 2269don't think--'</p> 2270 2271<p>'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.</p> 2272 2273<p>This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got 2274up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep 2275instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her 2276going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that 2277they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were 2278trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.</p> 2279 2280<p>'At any rate I'll never go <i>there</i> again!' said Alice as 2281she picked her way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest 2282tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'</p> 2283 2284<p>Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a 2285door leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 2286'But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at 2287once.' And in she went.</p> 2288 2289<p>Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the 2290little glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said 2291to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and 2292unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to 2293work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her 2294pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the 2295little passage: and <i>then</i>--she found herself at last in the 2296beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool 2297fountains.</p> 2298 2299<hr> 2300<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VIII</h3> 2301 2302<h3 align="Center">The Queen's Croquet-Ground</h3> 2303 2304<p>A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the 2305roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at 2306it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious 2307thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up 2308to them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go 2309splashing paint over me like that!'</p> 2310 2311<p>'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven 2312jogged my elbow.'</p> 2313 2314<p>On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always 2315lay the blame on others!'</p> 2316 2317<p><i>You'd</i> better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen 2318say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'</p> 2319 2320<p>'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.</p> 2321 2322<p>'That's none of <i>your</i> business, Two!' said Seven.</p> 2323 2324<p>'Yes, it <i>is</i> his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell 2325him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of 2326onions.'</p> 2327 2328<p>Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all 2329the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as 2330she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the 2331others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.</p> 2332 2333<p>'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you 2334are painting those roses?'</p> 2335 2336<p>Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a 2337low voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to 2338have been a <i>red</i> rose-tree, and we put a white one in by 2339mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have 2340our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our 2341best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been 2342anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen! The 2343Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat 2344upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice 2345looked round, eager to see the Queen.</p> 2346 2347<p>First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped 2348like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and 2349feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were 2350ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the 2351soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten 2352of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in 2353hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came 2354the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice 2355recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous 2356manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without 2357noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the 2358King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this 2359grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.</p> 2360 2361<p>Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on 2362her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember 2363ever having heard of such a rule at processions; 'and besides, 2364what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, 'if people 2365had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see 2366it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.</p> 2367 2368<p>When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped 2369and looked at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She 2370said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in 2371reply.</p> 2372 2373<p>'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, 2374turning to Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?'</p> 2375 2376<p>'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very 2377politely; but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of 2378cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'</p> 2379 2380<p>'And who are <i>these</i>?' said the Queen, pointing to the 2381three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, 2382as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs 2383was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether 2384they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her 2385own children.</p> 2386 2387<p>'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 2388'It's no business of <i>mine</i>.'</p> 2389 2390<p>The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her 2391for a moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head! 2392Off--'</p> 2393 2394<p>'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the 2395Queen was silent.</p> 2396 2397<p>The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 2398'Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'</p> 2399 2400<p>The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 2401'Turn them over!'</p> 2402 2403<p>The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.</p> 2404 2405<p>'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the 2406three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the 2407King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.</p> 2408 2409<p>'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And 2410then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What <i>have</i> 2411you been doing here?'</p> 2412 2413<p>'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, 2414going down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--'</p> 2415 2416<p>'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the 2417roses. 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three 2418of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate 2419gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.</p> 2420 2421<p>'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a 2422large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered 2423about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly 2424marched off after the others.</p> 2425 2426<p>'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.</p> 2427 2428<p>'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the 2429soldiers shouted in reply.</p> 2430 2431<p>'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'</p> 2432 2433<p>The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question 2434was evidently meant for her.</p> 2435 2436<p>'Yes!' shouted Alice.</p> 2437 2438<p>'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the 2439procession, wondering very much what would happen next.</p> 2440 2441<p>'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. 2442She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously 2443into her face.</p> 2444 2445<p>'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?'</p> 2446 2447<p>'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He 2448looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised 2449himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and 2450whispered 'She's under sentence of execution.'</p> 2451 2452<p>'What for?' said Alice.</p> 2453 2454<p>'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.</p> 2455 2456<p>'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity. 2457I said "What for?"'</p> 2458 2459<p>'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a 2460little scream of laughter. 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a 2461frightened tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came 2462rather late, and the Queen said--'</p> 2463 2464<p>'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, 2465and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up 2466against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or 2467two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a 2468curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and 2469furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live 2470flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to 2471stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.</p> 2472 2473<p>The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her 2474flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, 2475comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, 2476but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened 2477out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it 2478<i>would</i> twist itself round and look up in her face, with 2479such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out 2480laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to 2481begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had 2482unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all 2483this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever 2484she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up 2485soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of 2486the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very 2487difficult game indeed.</p> 2488 2489<p>The players all played at once without waiting for turns, 2490quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in 2491a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went 2492stamping about, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with 2493her head!' about once in a minute.</p> 2494 2495<p>Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as 2496yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might 2497happen any minute, 'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of 2498me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great 2499wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'</p> 2500 2501<p>She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering 2502whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a 2503curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, 2504but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a 2505grin, and she said to herself 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall 2506have somebody to talk to.'</p> 2507 2508<p>'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was 2509mouth enough for it to speak with.</p> 2510 2511<p>Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no 2512use speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at 2513least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, 2514and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the 2515game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The Cat 2516seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no 2517more of it appeared.</p> 2518 2519<p>'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in 2520rather a complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully 2521one can't hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any 2522rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to 2523them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being 2524alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next 2525walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have 2526croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it 2527saw mine coming!'</p> 2528 2529<p>'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.</p> 2530 2531<p>'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she 2532noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she 2533went on, '--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing 2534the game.'</p> 2535 2536<p>The Queen smiled and passed on.</p> 2537 2538<p>'Who <i>are</i> you talking to?' said the King, going up to 2539Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.</p> 2540 2541<p>'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me 2542to introduce it.'</p> 2543 2544<p>'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however, 2545it may kiss my hand if it likes.'</p> 2546 2547<p>'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.</p> 2548 2549<p>'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me 2550like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.</p> 2551 2552<p>'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in 2553some book, but I don't remember where.'</p> 2554 2555<p>'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and 2556he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I 2557wish you would have this cat removed!'</p> 2558 2559<p>The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great 2560or small. 'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking 2561round.</p> 2562 2563<p>'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, 2564and he hurried off.</p> 2565 2566<p>Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game 2567was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, 2568screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three 2569of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and 2570she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in 2571such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or 2572not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.</p> 2573 2574<p>The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, 2575which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one 2576of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her 2577flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where 2578Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up 2579into a tree.</p> 2580 2581<p>By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, 2582the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 2583'but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches 2584are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away 2585under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for 2586a little more conversation with her friend.</p> 2587 2588<p>When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to 2589find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute 2590going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who 2591were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, 2592and looked very uncomfortable.</p> 2593 2594<p>The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to 2595settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, 2596though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed 2597to make out exactly what they said.</p> 2598 2599<p>The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a 2600head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had 2601never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin 2602at <i>his</i> time of life.</p> 2603 2604<p>The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could 2605be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.</p> 2606 2607<p>The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about 2608it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. 2609(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so 2610grave and anxious.)</p> 2611 2612<p>Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to 2613the Duchess: you'd better ask <i>her</i> about it.'</p> 2614 2615<p>'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch 2616her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.</p> 2617 2618<p>The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, 2619by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely 2620disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and 2621down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the 2622game.</p> 2623 2624<hr> 2625<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IX</h3> 2626 2627<h3 align="Center">The Mock Turtle's Story</h3> 2628 2629<p>'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old 2630thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately 2631into Alice's, and they walked off together.</p> 2632 2633<p>Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and 2634thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had 2635made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.</p> 2636 2637<p>'When <i>I'm</i> a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a 2638very hopeful tone though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen 2639<i>at all</i>. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always 2640pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much 2641pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, 'and vinegar that 2642makes them sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and 2643barley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I 2644only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about 2645it, you know--'</p> 2646 2647<p>She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a 2648little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 2649'You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you 2650forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that 2651is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'</p> 2652 2653<p>'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.</p> 2654 2655<p>'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a 2656moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up 2657closer to Alice's side as she spoke.</p> 2658 2659<p>Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, 2660because the Duchess was <i>very</i> ugly; and secondly, because she was 2661exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, 2662and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like 2663to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.</p> 2664 2665<p>'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of 2666keeping up the conversation a little.</p> 2667 2668<p>''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh, 2669'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'</p> 2670 2671<p>'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody 2672minding their own business!'</p> 2673 2674<p>'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, 2675digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 2676'and the moral of <i>that</i> is--"Take care of the sense, and 2677the sounds will take care of themselves."'</p> 2678 2679<p>'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought 2680to herself.</p> 2681 2682<p>'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your 2683waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm 2684doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the 2685experiment?'</p> 2686 2687<p>'<i>He</i> might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling 2688at all anxious to have the experiment tried.</p> 2689 2690<p>'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both 2691bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock 2692together."'</p> 2693 2694<p>'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.</p> 2695 2696<p>'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you 2697have of putting things!'</p> 2698 2699<p>'It's a mineral, I <i>think</i>,' said Alice.</p> 2700 2701<p>'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree 2702to everything that Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near 2703here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the 2704less there is of yours."'</p> 2705 2706<p>'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this 2707last remark, 'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it 2708is.'</p> 2709 2710<p>'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of 2711that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put 2712more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than 2713what it might appear to others that what you were or might have 2714been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared 2715to them to be otherwise."'</p> 2716 2717<p>'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very 2718politely, 'if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it 2719as you say it.'</p> 2720 2721<p>'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess 2722replied, in a pleased tone.</p> 2723 2724<p>'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' 2725said Alice.</p> 2726 2727<p>'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you 2728a present of everything I've said as yet.'</p> 2729 2730<p>'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't 2731give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say 2732it out loud.</p> 2733 2734<p>'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her 2735sharp little chin.</p> 2736 2737<p>'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was 2738beginning to feel a little worried.</p> 2739 2740<p>'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to 2741fly; and the m--'</p> 2742 2743<p>But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died 2744away, even in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the 2745arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, 2746and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, 2747frowning like a thunderstorm.</p> 2748 2749<p>'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak 2750voice.</p> 2751 2752<p>'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on 2753the ground as she spoke; 'either you or your head must be off, 2754and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'</p> 2755 2756<p>The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.</p> 2757 2758<p>'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and 2759Alice was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed 2760her back to the croquet-ground.</p> 2761 2762<p>The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, 2763and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, 2764they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a 2765moment's delay would cost them their lives.</p> 2766 2767<p>All the time they were playing the Queen never left off 2768quarrelling with the other players, and shouting 'Off with his 2769head!' or 'Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were 2770taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave 2771off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour 2772or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the 2773King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of 2774execution.</p> 2775 2776<p>Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to 2777Alice, 'Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'</p> 2778 2779<p>'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle 2780is.'</p> 2781 2782<p>'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the 2783Queen.</p> 2784 2785<p>'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.</p> 2786 2787<p>'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his 2788history,'</p> 2789 2790<p>As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low 2791voice, to the company generally, 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come, 2792<i>that's</i> a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had 2793felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had 2794ordered.</p> 2795 2796<p>They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the 2797sun. (<i>If</i> you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 2798'Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to 2799see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and 2800see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, 2801leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like 2802the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would 2803be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage 2804Queen: so she waited.</p> 2805 2806<p>The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the 2807Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!' 2808said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.</p> 2809 2810<p>'What <i>is</i> the fun?' said Alice.</p> 2811 2812<p>'Why, <i>she</i>,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy, 2813that: they never executes nobody, you know. Come on!'</p> 2814 2815<p>'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went 2816slowly after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life, 2817never!'</p> 2818 2819<p>They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the 2820distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, 2821as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart 2822would break. She pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she 2823asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the 2824same words as before, 'It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no 2825sorrow, you know. Come on!'</p> 2826 2827<p>So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with 2828large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.</p> 2829 2830<p>'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to 2831know your history, she do.'</p> 2832 2833<p>'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow 2834tone: 'sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've 2835finished.'</p> 2836 2837<p>So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice 2838thought to herself, 'I don't see how he can <i>even</i> finish, 2839if he doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.</p> 2840 2841<p>'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was 2842a real Turtle.'</p> 2843 2844<p>These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only 2845by an occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and 2846the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very 2847nearly getting up and saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your 2848interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there 2849<i>must</i> be more to come, so she sat still and said 2850nothing.</p> 2851 2852<p>'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more 2853calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to 2854school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call 2855him Tortoise--'</p> 2856 2857<p>'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice 2858asked.</p> 2859 2860<p>'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock 2861Turtle angrily: 'really you are very dull!'</p> 2862 2863<p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple 2864question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and 2865looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At 2866last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow! 2867Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:</p> 2868 2869<p>'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe 2870it--'</p> 2871 2872<p>'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.</p> 2873 2874<p>'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.</p> 2875 2876<p>'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could 2877speak again. The Mock Turtle went on.</p> 2878 2879<p>'We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school 2880every day--'</p> 2881 2882<p>'<i>I've</i> been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you 2883needn't be so proud as all that.'</p> 2884 2885<p>'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.</p> 2886 2887<p>'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'</p> 2888 2889<p>'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.</p> 2890 2891<p>'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.</p> 2892 2893<p>'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock 2894Turtle in a tone of great relief. 'Now at <i>ours</i> they had at 2895the end of the bill, "French, music, <i>and 2896washing</i>--extra."'</p> 2897 2898<p>'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the 2899bottom of the sea.'</p> 2900 2901<p>'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a 2902sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'</p> 2903 2904<p>'What was that?' inquired Alice.</p> 2905 2906<p>'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock 2907Turtle replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic-- 2908Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'</p> 2909 2910<p>'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 2911'What is it?'</p> 2912 2913<p>The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never 2914heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, 2915I suppose?'</p> 2916 2917<p>'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it 2918means--to--make--anything--prettier.'</p> 2919 2920<p>'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to 2921uglify is, you <i>are</i> a simpleton.'</p> 2922 2923<p>Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about 2924it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you 2925to learn?'</p> 2926 2927<p>'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting 2928off the subjects on his flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern, 2929with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old 2930conger-eel, that used to come once a week: <i>He</i> taught us 2931Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'</p> 2932 2933<p>'What was <i>that</i> like?' said Alice.</p> 2934 2935<p>'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm 2936too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'</p> 2937 2938<p>'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics 2939master, though. He was an old crab, <i>he</i> was.'</p> 2940 2941<p>'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he 2942taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'</p> 2943 2944<p>'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; 2945and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.</p> 2946 2947<p>'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in 2948a hurry to change the subject.</p> 2949 2950<p>'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the 2951next, and so on.'</p> 2952 2953<p>'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.</p> 2954 2955<p>'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon 2956remarked: 'because they lessen from day to day.'</p> 2957 2958<p>This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a 2959little before she made her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day 2960must have been a holiday?'</p> 2961 2962<p>'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.</p> 2963 2964<p>'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on 2965eagerly.</p> 2966 2967<p>'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a 2968very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'</p> 2969 2970<hr> 2971<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER X</h3> 2972 2973<h3 align="Center">The Lobster Quadrille</h3> 2974 2975<p>The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one 2976flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, 2977but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if he had 2978a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work 2979shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle 2980recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he 2981went on again:--</p> 2982 2983<p>'You may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,' 2984said Alice)-- 'and perhaps you were never even introduced to a 2985lobster--' (Alice began to say 'I once tasted--' but checked 2986herself hastily, and said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea 2987what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'</p> 2988 2989<p>'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'</p> 2990 2991<p>'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the 2992sea-shore--'</p> 2993 2994<p>'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, 2995and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of 2996the way--'</p> 2997 2998<p>'<i>That</i> generally takes some time,' interrupted the 2999Gryphon.</p> 3000 3001<p>'--you advance twice--'</p> 3002 3003<p>'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.</p> 3004 3005<p>'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to 3006partners--'</p> 3007 3008<p>'--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the 3009Gryphon.</p> 3010 3011<p>'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw 3012the--'</p> 3013 3014<p>'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the 3015air.</p> 3016 3017<p>'--as far out to sea as you can--'</p> 3018 3019<p>'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.</p> 3020 3021<p>'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, 3022capering wildly about.</p> 3023 3024<p>'Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its 3025voice.</p> 3026 3027<p>'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said 3028the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two 3029creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this 3030time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at 3031Alice.</p> 3032 3033<p>'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.</p> 3034 3035<p>'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock 3036Turtle.</p> 3037 3038<p>'Very much indeed,' said Alice.</p> 3039 3040<p>'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to 3041the Gryphon. 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall 3042sing?'</p> 3043 3044<p>'Oh, <i>you</i> sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the 3045words.'</p> 3046 3047<p>So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every 3048now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and 3049waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle 3050sang this, very slowly and sadly:--</p> 3051 3052<p><i>'"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a 3053snail. "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on 3054my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all 3055advance! They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join 3056the dance?</i></p> 3057 3058<p><i>Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 3059dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join 3060the dance?</i></p> 3061 3062<p><i>"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be 3063When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to 3064sea!" But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look 3065askance-- Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not 3066join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would 3067not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, 3068could not join the dance.</i></p> 3069 3070<p><i>'"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. 3071"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The 3072further off from England the nearer is to France-- Then turn not 3073pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.</i></p> 3074 3075<p><i>Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 3076dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join 3077the dance?"'</i></p> 3078 3079<p>'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said 3080Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: 'and I do so 3081like that curious song about the whiting!'</p> 3082 3083<p>'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've 3084seen them, of course?'</p> 3085 3086<p>'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she 3087checked herself hastily.</p> 3088 3089<p>'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but 3090if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're 3091like.'</p> 3092 3093<p>'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their 3094tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'</p> 3095 3096<p>'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs 3097would all wash off in the sea. But they <i>have</i> their tails 3098in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned 3099and shut his eyes.--'Tell her about the reason and all that,' he 3100said to the Gryphon.</p> 3101 3102<p>'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they <i>would</i> go 3103with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So 3104they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in 3105their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's 3106all.'</p> 3107 3108<p>'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew 3109so much about a whiting before.'</p> 3110 3111<p>'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the 3112Gryphon. 'Do you know why it's called a whiting?'</p> 3113 3114<p>'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?'</p> 3115 3116<p><i>'It does the boots and shoes.'</i> the Gryphon replied very 3117solemnly.</p> 3118 3119<p>Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she 3120repeated in a wondering tone.</p> 3121 3122<p>'Why, what are <i>your</i> shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. 3123'I mean, what makes them so shiny?'</p> 3124 3125<p>Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she 3126gave her answer. 'They're done with blacking, I believe.'</p> 3127 3128<p>'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep 3129voice, 'are done with a whiting. Now you know.'</p> 3130 3131<p>'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great 3132curiosity.</p> 3133 3134<p>'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather 3135impatiently: 'any shrimp could have told you that.'</p> 3136 3137<p>'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were 3138still running on the song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep 3139back, please: we don't want <i>you</i> with us!"'</p> 3140 3141<p>'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle 3142said: 'no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'</p> 3143 3144<p>'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great 3145surprise.</p> 3146 3147<p>'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to 3148<i>me</i>, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With 3149what porpoise?"'</p> 3150 3151<p>'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.</p> 3152 3153<p>'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended 3154tone. And the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of <i>your</i> 3155adventures.'</p> 3156 3157<p>'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' 3158said Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to 3159yesterday, because I was a different person then.'</p> 3160 3161<p>'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.</p> 3162 3163<p>'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an 3164impatient tone: 'explanations take such a dreadful time.'</p> 3165 3166<p>So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when 3167she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it 3168just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each 3169side, and opened their eyes and mouths so <i>very</i> wide, but 3170she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly 3171quiet till she got to the part about her repeating <i>'You are 3172old, Father William,'</i> to the Caterpillar, and the words all 3173coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, 3174and said 'That's very curious.'</p> 3175 3176<p>'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the 3177Gryphon.</p> 3178 3179<p>'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated 3180thoughtfully. 'I should like to hear her try and repeat something 3181now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he 3182thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.</p> 3183 3184<p>'Stand up and repeat <i>"'Tis the voice of the sluggard,"'</i> 3185said the Gryphon.</p> 3186 3187<p>'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat 3188lessons!' thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.' 3189However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so 3190full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was 3191saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--</p> 3192 3193<p>''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You have 3194baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." As a duck with its 3195eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and 3196turns out his toes.'</p> 3197 3198<p>[later editions continued as follows When the sands are all 3199dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of 3200the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His 3201voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]</p> 3202 3203<p>'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' 3204said the Gryphon.</p> 3205 3206<p>'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it 3207sounds uncommon nonsense.'</p> 3208 3209<p>Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her 3210hands, wondering if anything would <i>ever</i> happen in a 3211natural way again.</p> 3212 3213<p>'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock 3214Turtle.</p> 3215 3216<p>'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with 3217the next verse.'</p> 3218 3219<p>'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How 3220<i>could</i> he turn them out with his nose, you know?'</p> 3221 3222<p>'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was 3223dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the 3224subject.</p> 3225 3226<p>'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 3227'it begins "I passed by his garden."'</p> 3228 3229<p>Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would 3230all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--</p> 3231 3232<p><i>'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the 3233Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'</i></p> 3234 3235<p>[<tt>later editions continued as follows:</tt> <i>The Panther 3236took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish 3237as its share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the 3238Owl, as a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: While 3239the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, And concluded 3240the banquet--</i>]</p> 3241 3242<p>'What <i>is</i> the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle 3243interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far 3244the most confusing thing I ever heard!'</p> 3245 3246<p>'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and 3247Alice was only too glad to do so.</p> 3248 3249<p>'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the 3250Gryphon went on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a 3251song?'</p> 3252 3253<p>'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' 3254Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather 3255offended tone, 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle 3256Soup," will you, old fellow?'</p> 3257 3258<p>The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes 3259choked with sobs, to sing this:--</p> 3260 3261<p><i>'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot 3262tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the 3263evening, beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 3264Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the 3265e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!</i></p> 3266 3267<p><i>'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other 3268dish? Who would not give all else for two pennyworth only of 3269beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beau--ootiful 3270Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3271Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'</i></p> 3272 3273<p>'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had 3274just begun to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' 3275was heard in the distance.</p> 3276 3277<p>'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, 3278it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.</p> 3279 3280<p>'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon 3281only answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more 3282faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the 3283melancholy words:--</p> 3284 3285<p><i>'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful 3286Soup!'</i></p> 3287 3288<hr> 3289<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER XI</h3> 3290 3291<h3 align="Center">Who Stole the Tarts?</h3> 3292 3293<p>The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when 3294they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts 3295of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: 3296the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on 3297each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, 3298with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the 3299other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large 3300dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice 3301quite hungry to look at them--'I wish they'd get the trial done,' 3302she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed 3303to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about 3304her, to pass away the time.</p> 3305 3306<p>Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had 3307read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that 3308she knew the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge,' 3309she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'</p> 3310 3311<p>The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown 3312over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he 3313did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly 3314not becoming.</p> 3315 3316<p>'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve 3317creatures,' (she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because 3318some of them were animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they 3319are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over 3320to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and 3321rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the 3322meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done just as 3323well.</p> 3324 3325<p>The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 3326'What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They 3327can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's 3328begun.'</p> 3329 3330<p>'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in 3331reply, 'for fear they should forget them before the end of the 3332trial.'</p> 3333 3334<p>'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but 3335she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in 3336the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked 3337anxiously round, to make out who was talking.</p> 3338 3339<p>Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their 3340shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!' 3341on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them 3342didn't know how to spell 'stupid,' and that he had to ask his 3343neighbour to tell him. 'A nice muddle their slates'll be in 3344before the trial's over!' thought Alice.</p> 3345 3346<p>One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, 3347Alice could <i>not</i> stand, and she went round the court and 3348got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it 3349away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was 3350Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of 3351it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write 3352with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very 3353little use, as it left no mark on the slate.</p> 3354 3355<p>'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.</p> 3356 3357<p>On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and 3358then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--</p> 3359 3360<p><i>'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer 3361day: The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them 3362quite away!'</i></p> 3363 3364<p>'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.</p> 3365 3366<p>'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a 3367great deal to come before that!'</p> 3368 3369<p>'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit 3370blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First 3371witness!'</p> 3372 3373<p>The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in 3374one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg 3375pardon, your Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I 3376hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'</p> 3377 3378<p>'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you 3379begin?'</p> 3380 3381<p>The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into 3382the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I 3383<i>think</i> it was,' he said.</p> 3384 3385<p>'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.</p> 3386 3387<p>'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.</p> 3388 3389<p>'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury 3390eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then 3391added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.</p> 3392 3393<p>'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.</p> 3394 3395<p>'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.</p> 3396 3397<p>'<i>Stolen!</i>' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who 3398instantly made a memorandum of the fact.</p> 3399 3400<p>'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 3401'I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.'</p> 3402 3403<p>Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the 3404Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.</p> 3405 3406<p>'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or 3407I'll have you executed on the spot.'</p> 3408 3409<p>This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept 3410shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the 3411Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his 3412teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.</p> 3413 3414<p>Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which 3415puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was 3416beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she 3417would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she 3418decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for 3419her.</p> 3420 3421<p>'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was 3422sitting next to her. 'I can hardly breathe.'</p> 3423 3424<p>'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.'</p> 3425 3426<p>'You've no right to grow <i>here</i>,' said the Dormouse.</p> 3427 3428<p>'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know 3429you're growing too.'</p> 3430 3431<p>'Yes, but <i>I</i> grow at a reasonable pace,' said the 3432Dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very 3433sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.</p> 3434 3435<p>All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the 3436Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to 3437one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the list of the 3438singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter 3439trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.</p> 3440 3441<p>'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have 3442you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'</p> 3443 3444<p>'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a 3445trembling voice, '--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week 3446or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and 3447the twinkling of the tea--'</p> 3448 3449<p>'The twinkling of the <i>what</i>?' said the King.</p> 3450 3451<p>'It <i>began</i> with the tea,' the Hatter replied.</p> 3452 3453<p>'Of course twinkling <i>begins</i> with a T!' said the King 3454sharply. 'Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'</p> 3455 3456<p>'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things 3457twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'</p> 3458 3459<p>'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.</p> 3460 3461<p>'You did!' said the Hatter.</p> 3462 3463<p>'I deny it!' said the March Hare.</p> 3464 3465<p>'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'</p> 3466 3467<p>'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, 3468looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the 3469Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.</p> 3470 3471<p>'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread- 3472and-butter--'</p> 3473 3474<p>'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.</p> 3475 3476<p>'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.</p> 3477 3478<p>'You <i>must</i> remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have 3479you executed.'</p> 3480 3481<p>The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, 3482and went down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he 3483began.</p> 3484 3485<p>'You're a very poor <i>speaker</i>,' said the King.</p> 3486 3487<p>Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately 3488suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a 3489hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a 3490large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into 3491this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon 3492it.)</p> 3493 3494<p>'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often 3495read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some 3496attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the 3497officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant till 3498now.'</p> 3499 3500<p>'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' 3501continued the King.</p> 3502 3503<p>'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as 3504it is.'</p> 3505 3506<p>'Then you may <i>sit</i> down,' the King replied.</p> 3507 3508<p>Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.</p> 3509 3510<p>'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we 3511shall get on better.'</p> 3512 3513<p>'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious 3514look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.</p> 3515 3516<p>'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the 3517court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.</p> 3518 3519<p>'--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one 3520of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the 3521officer could get to the door.</p> 3522 3523<p>'Call the next witness!' said the King.</p> 3524 3525<p>The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the 3526pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before 3527she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began 3528sneezing all at once.</p> 3529 3530<p>'Give your evidence,' said the King.</p> 3531 3532<p>'Shan't,' said the cook.</p> 3533 3534<p>The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a 3535low voice, 'Your Majesty must cross-examine <i>this</i> witness.'</p> 3536 3537<p>'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy 3538air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till 3539his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What 3540are tarts made of?'</p> 3541 3542<p>'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.</p> 3543 3544<p>'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.</p> 3545 3546<p>'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that 3547Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch 3548him! Off with his whiskers!'</p> 3549 3550<p>For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the 3551Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down 3552again, the cook had disappeared.</p> 3553 3554<p>'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 3555'Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the 3556Queen, 'Really, my dear, <i>you</i> must cross-examine the next 3557witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!'</p> 3558 3559<p>Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, 3560feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like, 3561'--for they haven't got much evidence <i>yet</i>,' she said to 3562herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at 3563the top of his shrill little voice, the name 'Alice!'</p> 3564 3565<hr> 3566<h3 align="Center">CHAPTER XII</h3> 3567 3568<h3 align="Center">Alice's Evidence</h3> 3569 3570<p>'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the 3571moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she 3572jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with 3573the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads 3574of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding 3575her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset 3576the week before.</p> 3577 3578<p>'Oh, I <i>beg</i> your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of 3579great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she 3580could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, 3581and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at 3582once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.</p> 3583 3584<p>'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave 3585voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- 3586<i>all</i>,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at 3587Alice as he said do.</p> 3588 3589<p>Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she 3590had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing 3591was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable 3592to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that 3593it signifies much,' she said to herself; 'I should think it would 3594be <i>quite</i> as much use in the trial one way up as the 3595other.'</p> 3596 3597<p>As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of 3598being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and 3599handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write 3600out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed 3601too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, 3602gazing up into the roof of the court.</p> 3603 3604<p>'What do you know about this business?' the King said to 3605Alice.</p> 3606 3607<p>'Nothing,' said Alice.</p> 3608 3609<p>'Nothing <i>whatever?</i>' persisted the King.</p> 3610 3611<p>'Nothing <i>whatever,</i>' said Alice.</p> 3612 3613<p>'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. 3614They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when 3615the White Rabbit interrupted: '<i>Un</i>important, your Majesty 3616means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but 3617frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.</p> 3618 3619<p>'<i>Un</i>important, of course, I meant,' the King hastily 3620said, and went on to himself in an undertone, 3621'important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were 3622trying which word sounded best.</p> 3623 3624<p>Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 3625'unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to 3626look over their slates; 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she 3627thought to herself.</p> 3628 3629<p>At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily 3630writing in his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out 3631from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. <i>All persons more than a mile 3632hight to leave the court</i>.'</p> 3633 3634<p>Everybody looked at Alice.</p> 3635 3636<p>'<i>I'm</i> not a mile high,' said Alice.</p> 3637 3638<p>'You are,' said the King.</p> 3639 3640<p>'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.</p> 3641 3642<p>'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's 3643not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'</p> 3644 3645<p>'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.</p> 3646 3647<p>'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.</p> 3648 3649<p>The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 3650'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling 3651voice.</p> 3652 3653<p>'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said 3654the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has 3655just been picked up.'</p> 3656 3657<p>'What's in it?' said the Queen.</p> 3658 3659<p>'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it 3660seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to 3661somebody.'</p> 3662 3663<p>'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was 3664written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'</p> 3665 3666<p>'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.</p> 3667 3668<p>'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, 3669there's nothing written on the <i>outside</i>.' He unfolded the 3670paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's 3671a set of verses.'</p> 3672 3673<p>'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of 3674they jurymen.</p> 3675 3676<p>'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the 3677queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)</p> 3678 3679<p>'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. 3680(The jury all brightened up again.)</p> 3681 3682<p>'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and 3683they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'</p> 3684 3685<p>'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the 3686matter worse. You <i>must</i> have meant some mischief, or else 3687you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'</p> 3688 3689<p>There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the 3690first really clever thing the King had said that day.</p> 3691 3692<p>'That <i>proves</i> his guilt,' said the Queen.</p> 3693 3694<p>'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't 3695even know what they're about!'</p> 3696 3697<p>'Read them,' said the King.</p> 3698 3699<p>The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, 3700please your Majesty?' he asked.</p> 3701 3702<p>'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on 3703till you come to the end: then stop.'</p> 3704 3705<p>These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--</p> 3706 3707<p><i>'They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him: 3708She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.</i></p> 3709 3710<p><i>He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true): 3711If she should push the matter on, What would become of 3712you?</i></p> 3713 3714<p><i>I gave her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or 3715more; They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine 3716before.</i></p> 3717 3718<p><i>If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair, He 3719trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.</i></p> 3720 3721<p><i>My notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit) 3722An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it.</i></p> 3723 3724<p><i>Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever 3725be A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and 3726me.'</i></p> 3727 3728<p>'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' 3729said the King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--'</p> 3730 3731<p>'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had 3732grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit 3733afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't 3734believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'</p> 3735 3736<p>The jury all wrote down on their slates, '<i>She</i> doesn't 3737believe there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them 3738attempted to explain the paper.</p> 3739 3740<p>'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a 3741world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And 3742yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his 3743knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some 3744meaning in them, after all. "<i>-said I could not swim--</i>" you 3745can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.</p> 3746 3747<p>The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. 3748(Which he certainly did <i>not</i>, being made entirely of 3749cardboard.)</p> 3750 3751<p>'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering 3752over the verses to himself: '"<i>We know it to be true--</i>" 3753that's the jury, of course-- "<i>I gave her one, they gave him 3754two--</i>" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you 3755know--'</p> 3756 3757<p>'But, it goes on "<i>they all returned from him to you,</i>"' 3758said Alice.</p> 3759 3760<p>'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to 3761the tarts on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than <i>that</i>. 3762Then again--"<i>before she had this fit-</i>-" you never had 3763<i>fits</i>, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.</p> 3764 3765<p>'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the 3766Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off 3767writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no 3768mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was 3769trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)</p> 3770 3771<p>'Then the words don't <i>fit</i> you,' said the King, looking 3772round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.</p> 3773 3774<p>'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and 3775everybody laughed, 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the 3776King said, for about the twentieth time that day.</p> 3777 3778<p>'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict 3779afterwards.'</p> 3780 3781<p>'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having 3782the sentence first!'</p> 3783 3784<p>'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.</p> 3785 3786<p>'I won't!' said Alice.</p> 3787 3788<p>'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her 3789voice. Nobody moved.</p> 3790 3791<p>'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full 3792size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'</p> 3793 3794<p>At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying 3795down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half 3796of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on 3797the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently 3798brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 3799trees upon her face.</p> 3800 3801<p>'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long 3802sleep you've had!'</p> 3803 3804<p>'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told 3805her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange 3806Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and 3807when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It 3808<i>was</i> a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to 3809your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, 3810thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream 3811it had been.</p> 3812 3813<p>But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her 3814head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of 3815little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began 3816dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--</p> 3817 3818<p>First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the 3819tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes 3820were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her 3821voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back 3822the wandering hair that <i>would</i> always get into her 3823eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole 3824place around her became alive the strange creatures of her little 3825sister's dream.</p> 3826 3827<p>The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried 3828by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the 3829neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as 3830the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, 3831and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate 3832guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the 3833Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once 3834more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's 3835slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, 3836filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable 3837Mock Turtle.</p> 3838 3839<p>So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in 3840Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and 3841all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only 3842rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the 3843reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, 3844and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd 3845boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and 3846all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the 3847confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the 3848cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's 3849heavy sobs.</p> 3850 3851<p>Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of 3852hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how 3853she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and 3854loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her 3855other little children, and make <i>their</i> eyes bright and eager with 3856many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of 3857long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, 3858and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own 3859child-life, and the happy summer days.</p> 3860 3861<p>End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in 3862Wonderland</p> 3863 3864</body> 3865</html> 3866