1The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde 2 3This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with 4almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or 5re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included 6with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net 7 8 9Title: The Picture of Dorian Gray 10 11Author: Oscar Wilde 12 13Release Date: June 9, 2008 [EBook #174] 14[This file last updated on July 2, 2011] 15[This file last updated on July 23, 2014] 16 17 18Language: English 19 20 21*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY *** 22 23 24 25 26Produced by Judith Boss. HTML version by Al Haines. 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37The Picture of Dorian Gray 38 39by 40 41Oscar Wilde 42 43 44 45 46THE PREFACE 47 48The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and 49conceal the artist is art's aim. The critic is he who can translate 50into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful 51things. 52 53The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography. 54Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without 55being charming. This is a fault. 56 57Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the 58cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom 59beautiful things mean only beauty. 60 61There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well 62written, or badly written. That is all. 63 64The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing 65his own face in a glass. 66 67The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban 68not seeing his own face in a glass. The moral life of man forms part 69of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists 70in the perfect use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove 71anything. Even things that are true can be proved. No artist has 72ethical sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an 73unpardonable mannerism of style. No artist is ever morbid. The artist 74can express everything. Thought and language are to the artist 75instruments of an art. Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for 76an art. From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is 77the art of the musician. From the point of view of feeling, the 78actor's craft is the type. All art is at once surface and symbol. 79Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read 80the symbol do so at their peril. It is the spectator, and not life, 81that art really mirrors. Diversity of opinion about a work of art 82shows that the work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, 83the artist is in accord with himself. We can forgive a man for making 84a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for 85making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. 86 87 All art is quite useless. 88 89 OSCAR WILDE 90 91 92 93 94CHAPTER 1 95 96The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light 97summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through 98the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate 99perfume of the pink-flowering thorn. 100 101From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was 102lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry 103Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured 104blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to 105bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then 106the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long 107tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window, 108producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of 109those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokyo who, through the medium of 110an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of 111swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their 112way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous 113insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine, 114seemed to make the stillness more oppressive. The dim roar of London 115was like the bourdon note of a distant organ. 116 117In the centre of the room, clamped to an upright easel, stood the 118full-length portrait of a young man of extraordinary personal beauty, 119and in front of it, some little distance away, was sitting the artist 120himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago 121caused, at the time, such public excitement and gave rise to so many 122strange conjectures. 123 124As the painter looked at the gracious and comely form he had so 125skilfully mirrored in his art, a smile of pleasure passed across his 126face, and seemed about to linger there. But he suddenly started up, 127and closing his eyes, placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he 128sought to imprison within his brain some curious dream from which he 129feared he might awake. 130 131"It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have ever done," said 132Lord Henry languidly. "You must certainly send it next year to the 133Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. Whenever I have 134gone there, there have been either so many people that I have not been 135able to see the pictures, which was dreadful, or so many pictures that 136I have not been able to see the people, which was worse. The Grosvenor 137is really the only place." 138 139"I don't think I shall send it anywhere," he answered, tossing his head 140back in that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at him at 141Oxford. "No, I won't send it anywhere." 142 143Lord Henry elevated his eyebrows and looked at him in amazement through 144the thin blue wreaths of smoke that curled up in such fanciful whorls 145from his heavy, opium-tainted cigarette. "Not send it anywhere? My 146dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you painters 147are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as 148you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, 149for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, 150and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you 151far above all the young men in England, and make the old men quite 152jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion." 153 154"I know you will laugh at me," he replied, "but I really can't exhibit 155it. I have put too much of myself into it." 156 157Lord Henry stretched himself out on the divan and laughed. 158 159"Yes, I knew you would; but it is quite true, all the same." 160 161"Too much of yourself in it! Upon my word, Basil, I didn't know you 162were so vain; and I really can't see any resemblance between you, with 163your rugged strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young 164Adonis, who looks as if he was made out of ivory and rose-leaves. Why, 165my dear Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you--well, of course you have an 166intellectual expression and all that. But beauty, real beauty, ends 167where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode 168of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one 169sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something 170horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. 171How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But 172then in the Church they don't think. A bishop keeps on saying at the 173age of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of eighteen, 174and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely delightful. 175Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have never told me, but 176whose picture really fascinates me, never thinks. I feel quite sure of 177that. He is some brainless beautiful creature who should be always 178here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in 179summer when we want something to chill our intelligence. Don't flatter 180yourself, Basil: you are not in the least like him." 181 182"You don't understand me, Harry," answered the artist. "Of course I am 183not like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be sorry 184to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the 185truth. There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual 186distinction, the sort of fatality that seems to dog through history the 187faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be different from one's 188fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. 189They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing 190of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They 191live as we all should live--undisturbed, indifferent, and without 192disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever receive it 193from alien hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they 194are--my art, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray's good looks--we 195shall all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly." 196 197"Dorian Gray? Is that his name?" asked Lord Henry, walking across the 198studio towards Basil Hallward. 199 200"Yes, that is his name. I didn't intend to tell it to you." 201 202"But why not?" 203 204"Oh, I can't explain. When I like people immensely, I never tell their 205names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have 206grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make 207modern life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is 208delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my 209people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It 210is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great 211deal of romance into one's life. I suppose you think me awfully 212foolish about it?" 213 214"Not at all," answered Lord Henry, "not at all, my dear Basil. You 215seem to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage is that 216it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. I 217never know where my wife is, and my wife never knows what I am doing. 218When we meet--we do meet occasionally, when we dine out together, or go 219down to the Duke's--we tell each other the most absurd stories with the 220most serious faces. My wife is very good at it--much better, in fact, 221than I am. She never gets confused over her dates, and I always do. 222But when she does find me out, she makes no row at all. I sometimes 223wish she would; but she merely laughs at me." 224 225"I hate the way you talk about your married life, Harry," said Basil 226Hallward, strolling towards the door that led into the garden. "I 227believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are 228thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary 229fellow. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing. 230Your cynicism is simply a pose." 231 232"Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know," 233cried Lord Henry, laughing; and the two young men went out into the 234garden together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat that 235stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush. The sunlight slipped over 236the polished leaves. In the grass, white daisies were tremulous. 237 238After a pause, Lord Henry pulled out his watch. "I am afraid I must be 239going, Basil," he murmured, "and before I go, I insist on your 240answering a question I put to you some time ago." 241 242"What is that?" said the painter, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. 243 244"You know quite well." 245 246"I do not, Harry." 247 248"Well, I will tell you what it is. I want you to explain to me why you 249won't exhibit Dorian Gray's picture. I want the real reason." 250 251"I told you the real reason." 252 253"No, you did not. You said it was because there was too much of 254yourself in it. Now, that is childish." 255 256"Harry," said Basil Hallward, looking him straight in the face, "every 257portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not 258of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is 259not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on 260the coloured canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit 261this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of 262my own soul." 263 264Lord Henry laughed. "And what is that?" he asked. 265 266"I will tell you," said Hallward; but an expression of perplexity came 267over his face. 268 269"I am all expectation, Basil," continued his companion, glancing at him. 270 271"Oh, there is really very little to tell, Harry," answered the painter; 272"and I am afraid you will hardly understand it. Perhaps you will 273hardly believe it." 274 275Lord Henry smiled, and leaning down, plucked a pink-petalled daisy from 276the grass and examined it. "I am quite sure I shall understand it," he 277replied, gazing intently at the little golden, white-feathered disk, 278"and as for believing things, I can believe anything, provided that it 279is quite incredible." 280 281The wind shook some blossoms from the trees, and the heavy 282lilac-blooms, with their clustering stars, moved to and fro in the 283languid air. A grasshopper began to chirrup by the wall, and like a 284blue thread a long thin dragon-fly floated past on its brown gauze 285wings. Lord Henry felt as if he could hear Basil Hallward's heart 286beating, and wondered what was coming. 287 288"The story is simply this," said the painter after some time. "Two 289months ago I went to a crush at Lady Brandon's. You know we poor 290artists have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to 291remind the public that we are not savages. With an evening coat and a 292white tie, as you told me once, anybody, even a stock-broker, can gain 293a reputation for being civilized. Well, after I had been in the room 294about ten minutes, talking to huge overdressed dowagers and tedious 295academicians, I suddenly became conscious that some one was looking at 296me. I turned half-way round and saw Dorian Gray for the first time. 297When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation 298of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some 299one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to 300do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art 301itself. I did not want any external influence in my life. You know 302yourself, Harry, how independent I am by nature. I have always been my 303own master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray. 304Then--but I don't know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to 305tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had 306a strange feeling that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and 307exquisite sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to quit the room. It was 308not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice. I take 309no credit to myself for trying to escape." 310 311"Conscience and cowardice are really the same things, Basil. 312Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." 313 314"I don't believe that, Harry, and I don't believe you do either. 315However, whatever was my motive--and it may have been pride, for I used 316to be very proud--I certainly struggled to the door. There, of course, 317I stumbled against Lady Brandon. 'You are not going to run away so 318soon, Mr. Hallward?' she screamed out. You know her curiously shrill 319voice?" 320 321"Yes; she is a peacock in everything but beauty," said Lord Henry, 322pulling the daisy to bits with his long nervous fingers. 323 324"I could not get rid of her. She brought me up to royalties, and 325people with stars and garters, and elderly ladies with gigantic tiaras 326and parrot noses. She spoke of me as her dearest friend. I had only 327met her once before, but she took it into her head to lionize me. I 328believe some picture of mine had made a great success at the time, at 329least had been chattered about in the penny newspapers, which is the 330nineteenth-century standard of immortality. Suddenly I found myself 331face to face with the young man whose personality had so strangely 332stirred me. We were quite close, almost touching. Our eyes met again. 333It was reckless of me, but I asked Lady Brandon to introduce me to him. 334Perhaps it was not so reckless, after all. It was simply inevitable. 335We would have spoken to each other without any introduction. I am sure 336of that. Dorian told me so afterwards. He, too, felt that we were 337destined to know each other." 338 339"And how did Lady Brandon describe this wonderful young man?" asked his 340companion. "I know she goes in for giving a rapid _precis_ of all her 341guests. I remember her bringing me up to a truculent and red-faced old 342gentleman covered all over with orders and ribbons, and hissing into my 343ear, in a tragic whisper which must have been perfectly audible to 344everybody in the room, the most astounding details. I simply fled. I 345like to find out people for myself. But Lady Brandon treats her guests 346exactly as an auctioneer treats his goods. She either explains them 347entirely away, or tells one everything about them except what one wants 348to know." 349 350"Poor Lady Brandon! You are hard on her, Harry!" said Hallward 351listlessly. 352 353"My dear fellow, she tried to found a _salon_, and only succeeded in 354opening a restaurant. How could I admire her? But tell me, what did 355she say about Mr. Dorian Gray?" 356 357"Oh, something like, 'Charming boy--poor dear mother and I absolutely 358inseparable. Quite forget what he does--afraid he--doesn't do 359anything--oh, yes, plays the piano--or is it the violin, dear Mr. 360Gray?' Neither of us could help laughing, and we became friends at 361once." 362 363"Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far 364the best ending for one," said the young lord, plucking another daisy. 365 366Hallward shook his head. "You don't understand what friendship is, 367Harry," he murmured--"or what enmity is, for that matter. You like 368every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every one." 369 370"How horribly unjust of you!" cried Lord Henry, tilting his hat back 371and looking up at the little clouds that, like ravelled skeins of 372glossy white silk, were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the 373summer sky. "Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great difference 374between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my 375acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good 376intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. 377I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some 378intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate me. Is that 379very vain of me? I think it is rather vain." 380 381"I should think it was, Harry. But according to your category I must 382be merely an acquaintance." 383 384"My dear old Basil, you are much more than an acquaintance." 385 386"And much less than a friend. A sort of brother, I suppose?" 387 388"Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, 389and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else." 390 391"Harry!" exclaimed Hallward, frowning. 392 393"My dear fellow, I am not quite serious. But I can't help detesting my 394relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand 395other people having the same faults as ourselves. I quite sympathize 396with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices 397of the upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness, stupidity, and 398immorality should be their own special property, and that if any one of 399us makes an ass of himself, he is poaching on their preserves. When 400poor Southwark got into the divorce court, their indignation was quite 401magnificent. And yet I don't suppose that ten per cent of the 402proletariat live correctly." 403 404"I don't agree with a single word that you have said, and, what is 405more, Harry, I feel sure you don't either." 406 407Lord Henry stroked his pointed brown beard and tapped the toe of his 408patent-leather boot with a tasselled ebony cane. "How English you are 409Basil! That is the second time you have made that observation. If one 410puts forward an idea to a true Englishman--always a rash thing to 411do--he never dreams of considering whether the idea is right or wrong. 412The only thing he considers of any importance is whether one believes 413it oneself. Now, the value of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do 414with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed, the 415probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely 416intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be coloured 417by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices. However, I don't 418propose to discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I 419like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no 420principles better than anything else in the world. Tell me more about 421Mr. Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?" 422 423"Every day. I couldn't be happy if I didn't see him every day. He is 424absolutely necessary to me." 425 426"How extraordinary! I thought you would never care for anything but 427your art." 428 429"He is all my art to me now," said the painter gravely. "I sometimes 430think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the 431world's history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art, 432and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also. 433What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of 434Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will 435some day be to me. It is not merely that I paint from him, draw from 436him, sketch from him. Of course, I have done all that. But he is much 437more to me than a model or a sitter. I won't tell you that I am 438dissatisfied with what I have done of him, or that his beauty is such 439that art cannot express it. There is nothing that art cannot express, 440and I know that the work I have done, since I met Dorian Gray, is good 441work, is the best work of my life. But in some curious way--I wonder 442will you understand me?--his personality has suggested to me an 443entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style. I see 444things differently, I think of them differently. I can now recreate 445life in a way that was hidden from me before. 'A dream of form in days 446of thought'--who is it who says that? I forget; but it is what Dorian 447Gray has been to me. The merely visible presence of this lad--for he 448seems to me little more than a lad, though he is really over 449twenty--his merely visible presence--ah! I wonder can you realize all 450that that means? Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a fresh 451school, a school that is to have in it all the passion of the romantic 452spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is Greek. The harmony of 453soul and body--how much that is! We in our madness have separated the 454two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is 455void. Harry! if you only knew what Dorian Gray is to me! You remember 456that landscape of mine, for which Agnew offered me such a huge price 457but which I would not part with? It is one of the best things I have 458ever done. And why is it so? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian 459Gray sat beside me. Some subtle influence passed from him to me, and 460for the first time in my life I saw in the plain woodland the wonder I 461had always looked for and always missed." 462 463"Basil, this is extraordinary! I must see Dorian Gray." 464 465Hallward got up from the seat and walked up and down the garden. After 466some time he came back. "Harry," he said, "Dorian Gray is to me simply 467a motive in art. You might see nothing in him. I see everything in 468him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is 469there. He is a suggestion, as I have said, of a new manner. I find 470him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of 471certain colours. That is all." 472 473"Then why won't you exhibit his portrait?" asked Lord Henry. 474 475"Because, without intending it, I have put into it some expression of 476all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never 477cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never know 478anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare 479my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put 480under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing, 481Harry--too much of myself!" 482 483"Poets are not so scrupulous as you are. They know how useful passion 484is for publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many editions." 485 486"I hate them for it," cried Hallward. "An artist should create 487beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them. We 488live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of 489autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of beauty. Some day I 490will show the world what it is; and for that reason the world shall 491never see my portrait of Dorian Gray." 492 493"I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won't argue with you. It is only 494the intellectually lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray very 495fond of you?" 496 497The painter considered for a few moments. "He likes me," he answered 498after a pause; "I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him 499dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I 500know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to 501me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and 502then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real 503delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away 504my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put 505in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a 506summer's day." 507 508"Days in summer, Basil, are apt to linger," murmured Lord Henry. 509"Perhaps you will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to think 510of, but there is no doubt that genius lasts longer than beauty. That 511accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate 512ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have 513something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and 514facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly 515well-informed man--that is the modern ideal. And the mind of the 516thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a 517_bric-a-brac_ shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above 518its proper value. I think you will tire first, all the same. Some day 519you will look at your friend, and he will seem to you to be a little 520out of drawing, or you won't like his tone of colour, or something. 521You will bitterly reproach him in your own heart, and seriously think 522that he has behaved very badly to you. The next time he calls, you 523will be perfectly cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for 524it will alter you. What you have told me is quite a romance, a romance 525of art one might call it, and the worst of having a romance of any kind 526is that it leaves one so unromantic." 527 528"Harry, don't talk like that. As long as I live, the personality of 529Dorian Gray will dominate me. You can't feel what I feel. You change 530too often." 531 532"Ah, my dear Basil, that is exactly why I can feel it. Those who are 533faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who 534know love's tragedies." And Lord Henry struck a light on a dainty 535silver case and began to smoke a cigarette with a self-conscious and 536satisfied air, as if he had summed up the world in a phrase. There was 537a rustle of chirruping sparrows in the green lacquer leaves of the ivy, 538and the blue cloud-shadows chased themselves across the grass like 539swallows. How pleasant it was in the garden! And how delightful other 540people's emotions were!--much more delightful than their ideas, it 541seemed to him. One's own soul, and the passions of one's 542friends--those were the fascinating things in life. He pictured to 543himself with silent amusement the tedious luncheon that he had missed 544by staying so long with Basil Hallward. Had he gone to his aunt's, he 545would have been sure to have met Lord Goodbody there, and the whole 546conversation would have been about the feeding of the poor and the 547necessity for model lodging-houses. Each class would have preached the 548importance of those virtues, for whose exercise there was no necessity 549in their own lives. The rich would have spoken on the value of thrift, 550and the idle grown eloquent over the dignity of labour. It was 551charming to have escaped all that! As he thought of his aunt, an idea 552seemed to strike him. He turned to Hallward and said, "My dear fellow, 553I have just remembered." 554 555"Remembered what, Harry?" 556 557"Where I heard the name of Dorian Gray." 558 559"Where was it?" asked Hallward, with a slight frown. 560 561"Don't look so angry, Basil. It was at my aunt, Lady Agatha's. She 562told me she had discovered a wonderful young man who was going to help 563her in the East End, and that his name was Dorian Gray. I am bound to 564state that she never told me he was good-looking. Women have no 565appreciation of good looks; at least, good women have not. She said 566that he was very earnest and had a beautiful nature. I at once 567pictured to myself a creature with spectacles and lank hair, horribly 568freckled, and tramping about on huge feet. I wish I had known it was 569your friend." 570 571"I am very glad you didn't, Harry." 572 573"Why?" 574 575"I don't want you to meet him." 576 577"You don't want me to meet him?" 578 579"No." 580 581"Mr. Dorian Gray is in the studio, sir," said the butler, coming into 582the garden. 583 584"You must introduce me now," cried Lord Henry, laughing. 585 586The painter turned to his servant, who stood blinking in the sunlight. 587"Ask Mr. Gray to wait, Parker: I shall be in in a few moments." The 588man bowed and went up the walk. 589 590Then he looked at Lord Henry. "Dorian Gray is my dearest friend," he 591said. "He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt was quite 592right in what she said of him. Don't spoil him. Don't try to 593influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and 594has many marvellous people in it. Don't take away from me the one 595person who gives to my art whatever charm it possesses: my life as an 596artist depends on him. Mind, Harry, I trust you." He spoke very 597slowly, and the words seemed wrung out of him almost against his will. 598 599"What nonsense you talk!" said Lord Henry, smiling, and taking Hallward 600by the arm, he almost led him into the house. 601 602 603 604CHAPTER 2 605 606As they entered they saw Dorian Gray. He was seated at the piano, with 607his back to them, turning over the pages of a volume of Schumann's 608"Forest Scenes." "You must lend me these, Basil," he cried. "I want 609to learn them. They are perfectly charming." 610 611"That entirely depends on how you sit to-day, Dorian." 612 613"Oh, I am tired of sitting, and I don't want a life-sized portrait of 614myself," answered the lad, swinging round on the music-stool in a 615wilful, petulant manner. When he caught sight of Lord Henry, a faint 616blush coloured his cheeks for a moment, and he started up. "I beg your 617pardon, Basil, but I didn't know you had any one with you." 618 619"This is Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, an old Oxford friend of mine. I 620have just been telling him what a capital sitter you were, and now you 621have spoiled everything." 622 623"You have not spoiled my pleasure in meeting you, Mr. Gray," said Lord 624Henry, stepping forward and extending his hand. "My aunt has often 625spoken to me about you. You are one of her favourites, and, I am 626afraid, one of her victims also." 627 628"I am in Lady Agatha's black books at present," answered Dorian with a 629funny look of penitence. "I promised to go to a club in Whitechapel 630with her last Tuesday, and I really forgot all about it. We were to 631have played a duet together--three duets, I believe. I don't know what 632she will say to me. I am far too frightened to call." 633 634"Oh, I will make your peace with my aunt. She is quite devoted to you. 635And I don't think it really matters about your not being there. The 636audience probably thought it was a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down to 637the piano, she makes quite enough noise for two people." 638 639"That is very horrid to her, and not very nice to me," answered Dorian, 640laughing. 641 642Lord Henry looked at him. Yes, he was certainly wonderfully handsome, 643with his finely curved scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp 644gold hair. There was something in his face that made one trust him at 645once. All the candour of youth was there, as well as all youth's 646passionate purity. One felt that he had kept himself unspotted from 647the world. No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him. 648 649"You are too charming to go in for philanthropy, Mr. Gray--far too 650charming." And Lord Henry flung himself down on the divan and opened 651his cigarette-case. 652 653The painter had been busy mixing his colours and getting his brushes 654ready. He was looking worried, and when he heard Lord Henry's last 655remark, he glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, and then said, 656"Harry, I want to finish this picture to-day. Would you think it 657awfully rude of me if I asked you to go away?" 658 659Lord Henry smiled and looked at Dorian Gray. "Am I to go, Mr. Gray?" 660he asked. 661 662"Oh, please don't, Lord Henry. I see that Basil is in one of his sulky 663moods, and I can't bear him when he sulks. Besides, I want you to tell 664me why I should not go in for philanthropy." 665 666"I don't know that I shall tell you that, Mr. Gray. It is so tedious a 667subject that one would have to talk seriously about it. But I 668certainly shall not run away, now that you have asked me to stop. You 669don't really mind, Basil, do you? You have often told me that you 670liked your sitters to have some one to chat to." 671 672Hallward bit his lip. "If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay. 673Dorian's whims are laws to everybody, except himself." 674 675Lord Henry took up his hat and gloves. "You are very pressing, Basil, 676but I am afraid I must go. I have promised to meet a man at the 677Orleans. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Come and see me some afternoon in Curzon 678Street. I am nearly always at home at five o'clock. Write to me when 679you are coming. I should be sorry to miss you." 680 681"Basil," cried Dorian Gray, "if Lord Henry Wotton goes, I shall go, 682too. You never open your lips while you are painting, and it is 683horribly dull standing on a platform and trying to look pleasant. Ask 684him to stay. I insist upon it." 685 686"Stay, Harry, to oblige Dorian, and to oblige me," said Hallward, 687gazing intently at his picture. "It is quite true, I never talk when I 688am working, and never listen either, and it must be dreadfully tedious 689for my unfortunate sitters. I beg you to stay." 690 691"But what about my man at the Orleans?" 692 693The painter laughed. "I don't think there will be any difficulty about 694that. Sit down again, Harry. And now, Dorian, get up on the platform, 695and don't move about too much, or pay any attention to what Lord Henry 696says. He has a very bad influence over all his friends, with the 697single exception of myself." 698 699Dorian Gray stepped up on the dais with the air of a young Greek 700martyr, and made a little _moue_ of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he 701had rather taken a fancy. He was so unlike Basil. They made a 702delightful contrast. And he had such a beautiful voice. After a few 703moments he said to him, "Have you really a very bad influence, Lord 704Henry? As bad as Basil says?" 705 706"There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence 707is immoral--immoral from the scientific point of view." 708 709"Why?" 710 711"Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does 712not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His 713virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as 714sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else's music, an 715actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is 716self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly--that is what each 717of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They 718have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to 719one's self. Of course, they are charitable. They feed the hungry and 720clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage 721has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror 722of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is 723the secret of religion--these are the two things that govern us. And 724yet--" 725 726"Just turn your head a little more to the right, Dorian, like a good 727boy," said the painter, deep in his work and conscious only that a look 728had come into the lad's face that he had never seen there before. 729 730"And yet," continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with 731that graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of 732him, and that he had even in his Eton days, "I believe that if one man 733were to live out his life fully and completely, were to give form to 734every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream--I 735believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we 736would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the 737Hellenic ideal--to something finer, richer than the Hellenic ideal, it 738may be. But the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The 739mutilation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial 740that mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse 741that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and poisons us. The body 742sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode of 743purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of a pleasure, 744or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation is 745to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for 746the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its 747monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that 748the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the 749brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place 750also. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your 751rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid, 752thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and sleeping 753dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame--" 754 755"Stop!" faltered Dorian Gray, "stop! you bewilder me. I don't know 756what to say. There is some answer to you, but I cannot find it. Don't 757speak. Let me think. Or, rather, let me try not to think." 758 759For nearly ten minutes he stood there, motionless, with parted lips and 760eyes strangely bright. He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh 761influences were at work within him. Yet they seemed to him to have 762come really from himself. The few words that Basil's friend had said 763to him--words spoken by chance, no doubt, and with wilful paradox in 764them--had touched some secret chord that had never been touched before, 765but that he felt was now vibrating and throbbing to curious pulses. 766 767Music had stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times. 768But music was not articulate. It was not a new world, but rather 769another chaos, that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How 770terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and cruel! One could not 771escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They 772seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to 773have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere 774words! Was there anything so real as words? 775 776Yes; there had been things in his boyhood that he had not understood. 777He understood them now. Life suddenly became fiery-coloured to him. 778It seemed to him that he had been walking in fire. Why had he not 779known it? 780 781With his subtle smile, Lord Henry watched him. He knew the precise 782psychological moment when to say nothing. He felt intensely 783interested. He was amazed at the sudden impression that his words had 784produced, and, remembering a book that he had read when he was sixteen, 785a book which had revealed to him much that he had not known before, he 786wondered whether Dorian Gray was passing through a similar experience. 787He had merely shot an arrow into the air. Had it hit the mark? How 788fascinating the lad was! 789 790Hallward painted away with that marvellous bold touch of his, that had 791the true refinement and perfect delicacy that in art, at any rate comes 792only from strength. He was unconscious of the silence. 793 794"Basil, I am tired of standing," cried Dorian Gray suddenly. "I must 795go out and sit in the garden. The air is stifling here." 796 797"My dear fellow, I am so sorry. When I am painting, I can't think of 798anything else. But you never sat better. You were perfectly still. 799And I have caught the effect I wanted--the half-parted lips and the 800bright look in the eyes. I don't know what Harry has been saying to 801you, but he has certainly made you have the most wonderful expression. 802I suppose he has been paying you compliments. You mustn't believe a 803word that he says." 804 805"He has certainly not been paying me compliments. Perhaps that is the 806reason that I don't believe anything he has told me." 807 808"You know you believe it all," said Lord Henry, looking at him with his 809dreamy languorous eyes. "I will go out to the garden with you. It is 810horribly hot in the studio. Basil, let us have something iced to 811drink, something with strawberries in it." 812 813"Certainly, Harry. Just touch the bell, and when Parker comes I will 814tell him what you want. I have got to work up this background, so I 815will join you later on. Don't keep Dorian too long. I have never been 816in better form for painting than I am to-day. This is going to be my 817masterpiece. It is my masterpiece as it stands." 818 819Lord Henry went out to the garden and found Dorian Gray burying his 820face in the great cool lilac-blossoms, feverishly drinking in their 821perfume as if it had been wine. He came close to him and put his hand 822upon his shoulder. "You are quite right to do that," he murmured. 823"Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the 824senses but the soul." 825 826The lad started and drew back. He was bareheaded, and the leaves had 827tossed his rebellious curls and tangled all their gilded threads. 828There was a look of fear in his eyes, such as people have when they are 829suddenly awakened. His finely chiselled nostrils quivered, and some 830hidden nerve shook the scarlet of his lips and left them trembling. 831 832"Yes," continued Lord Henry, "that is one of the great secrets of 833life--to cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means 834of the soul. You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you 835think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." 836 837Dorian Gray frowned and turned his head away. He could not help liking 838the tall, graceful young man who was standing by him. His romantic, 839olive-coloured face and worn expression interested him. There was 840something in his low languid voice that was absolutely fascinating. 841His cool, white, flowerlike hands, even, had a curious charm. They 842moved, as he spoke, like music, and seemed to have a language of their 843own. But he felt afraid of him, and ashamed of being afraid. Why had 844it been left for a stranger to reveal him to himself? He had known 845Basil Hallward for months, but the friendship between them had never 846altered him. Suddenly there had come some one across his life who 847seemed to have disclosed to him life's mystery. And, yet, what was 848there to be afraid of? He was not a schoolboy or a girl. It was 849absurd to be frightened. 850 851"Let us go and sit in the shade," said Lord Henry. "Parker has brought 852out the drinks, and if you stay any longer in this glare, you will be 853quite spoiled, and Basil will never paint you again. You really must 854not allow yourself to become sunburnt. It would be unbecoming." 855 856"What can it matter?" cried Dorian Gray, laughing, as he sat down on 857the seat at the end of the garden. 858 859"It should matter everything to you, Mr. Gray." 860 861"Why?" 862 863"Because you have the most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing 864worth having." 865 866"I don't feel that, Lord Henry." 867 868"No, you don't feel it now. Some day, when you are old and wrinkled 869and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and 870passion branded your lips with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you 871will feel it terribly. Now, wherever you go, you charm the world. 872Will it always be so? ... You have a wonderfully beautiful face, Mr. 873Gray. Don't frown. You have. And beauty is a form of genius--is 874higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the 875great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the 876reflection in dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It 877cannot be questioned. It has its divine right of sovereignty. It 878makes princes of those who have it. You smile? Ah! when you have lost 879it you won't smile.... People say sometimes that beauty is only 880superficial. That may be so, but at least it is not so superficial as 881thought is. To me, beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is only 882shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of 883the world is the visible, not the invisible.... Yes, Mr. Gray, the 884gods have been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take 885away. You have only a few years in which to live really, perfectly, 886and fully. When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and then 887you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left for you, or 888have to content yourself with those mean triumphs that the memory of 889your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every month as it wanes 890brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of you, and 891wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and 892hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly.... Ah! 893realize your youth while you have it. Don't squander the gold of your 894days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, 895or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar. 896These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live 897the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be 898always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.... A new 899Hedonism--that is what our century wants. You might be its visible 900symbol. With your personality there is nothing you could not do. The 901world belongs to you for a season.... The moment I met you I saw that 902you were quite unconscious of what you really are, of what you really 903might be. There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must 904tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if 905you were wasted. For there is such a little time that your youth will 906last--such a little time. The common hill-flowers wither, but they 907blossom again. The laburnum will be as yellow next June as it is now. 908In a month there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after 909year the green night of its leaves will hold its purple stars. But we 910never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty 911becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into 912hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were 913too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the 914courage to yield to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in 915the world but youth!" 916 917Dorian Gray listened, open-eyed and wondering. The spray of lilac fell 918from his hand upon the gravel. A furry bee came and buzzed round it 919for a moment. Then it began to scramble all over the oval stellated 920globe of the tiny blossoms. He watched it with that strange interest 921in trivial things that we try to develop when things of high import 922make us afraid, or when we are stirred by some new emotion for which we 923cannot find expression, or when some thought that terrifies us lays 924sudden siege to the brain and calls on us to yield. After a time the 925bee flew away. He saw it creeping into the stained trumpet of a Tyrian 926convolvulus. The flower seemed to quiver, and then swayed gently to 927and fro. 928 929Suddenly the painter appeared at the door of the studio and made 930staccato signs for them to come in. They turned to each other and 931smiled. 932 933"I am waiting," he cried. "Do come in. The light is quite perfect, 934and you can bring your drinks." 935 936They rose up and sauntered down the walk together. Two green-and-white 937butterflies fluttered past them, and in the pear-tree at the corner of 938the garden a thrush began to sing. 939 940"You are glad you have met me, Mr. Gray," said Lord Henry, looking at 941him. 942 943"Yes, I am glad now. I wonder shall I always be glad?" 944 945"Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. 946Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to 947make it last for ever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only 948difference between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice 949lasts a little longer." 950 951As they entered the studio, Dorian Gray put his hand upon Lord Henry's 952arm. "In that case, let our friendship be a caprice," he murmured, 953flushing at his own boldness, then stepped up on the platform and 954resumed his pose. 955 956Lord Henry flung himself into a large wicker arm-chair and watched him. 957The sweep and dash of the brush on the canvas made the only sound that 958broke the stillness, except when, now and then, Hallward stepped back 959to look at his work from a distance. In the slanting beams that 960streamed through the open doorway the dust danced and was golden. The 961heavy scent of the roses seemed to brood over everything. 962 963After about a quarter of an hour Hallward stopped painting, looked for 964a long time at Dorian Gray, and then for a long time at the picture, 965biting the end of one of his huge brushes and frowning. "It is quite 966finished," he cried at last, and stooping down he wrote his name in 967long vermilion letters on the left-hand corner of the canvas. 968 969Lord Henry came over and examined the picture. It was certainly a 970wonderful work of art, and a wonderful likeness as well. 971 972"My dear fellow, I congratulate you most warmly," he said. "It is the 973finest portrait of modern times. Mr. Gray, come over and look at 974yourself." 975 976The lad started, as if awakened from some dream. 977 978"Is it really finished?" he murmured, stepping down from the platform. 979 980"Quite finished," said the painter. "And you have sat splendidly 981to-day. I am awfully obliged to you." 982 983"That is entirely due to me," broke in Lord Henry. "Isn't it, Mr. 984Gray?" 985 986Dorian made no answer, but passed listlessly in front of his picture 987and turned towards it. When he saw it he drew back, and his cheeks 988flushed for a moment with pleasure. A look of joy came into his eyes, 989as if he had recognized himself for the first time. He stood there 990motionless and in wonder, dimly conscious that Hallward was speaking to 991him, but not catching the meaning of his words. The sense of his own 992beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it before. 993Basil Hallward's compliments had seemed to him to be merely the 994charming exaggeration of friendship. He had listened to them, laughed 995at them, forgotten them. They had not influenced his nature. Then had 996come Lord Henry Wotton with his strange panegyric on youth, his 997terrible warning of its brevity. That had stirred him at the time, and 998now, as he stood gazing at the shadow of his own loveliness, the full 999reality of the description flashed across him. Yes, there would be a 1000day when his face would be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and 1001colourless, the grace of his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet 1002would pass away from his lips and the gold steal from his hair. The 1003life that was to make his soul would mar his body. He would become 1004dreadful, hideous, and uncouth. 1005 1006As he thought of it, a sharp pang of pain struck through him like a 1007knife and made each delicate fibre of his nature quiver. His eyes 1008deepened into amethyst, and across them came a mist of tears. He felt 1009as if a hand of ice had been laid upon his heart. 1010 1011"Don't you like it?" cried Hallward at last, stung a little by the 1012lad's silence, not understanding what it meant. 1013 1014"Of course he likes it," said Lord Henry. "Who wouldn't like it? It 1015is one of the greatest things in modern art. I will give you anything 1016you like to ask for it. I must have it." 1017 1018"It is not my property, Harry." 1019 1020"Whose property is it?" 1021 1022"Dorian's, of course," answered the painter. 1023 1024"He is a very lucky fellow." 1025 1026"How sad it is!" murmured Dorian Gray with his eyes still fixed upon 1027his own portrait. "How sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrible, and 1028dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will never be 1029older than this particular day of June.... If it were only the other 1030way! If it were I who was to be always young, and the picture that was 1031to grow old! For that--for that--I would give everything! Yes, there 1032is nothing in the whole world I would not give! I would give my soul 1033for that!" 1034 1035"You would hardly care for such an arrangement, Basil," cried Lord 1036Henry, laughing. "It would be rather hard lines on your work." 1037 1038"I should object very strongly, Harry," said Hallward. 1039 1040Dorian Gray turned and looked at him. "I believe you would, Basil. 1041You like your art better than your friends. I am no more to you than a 1042green bronze figure. Hardly as much, I dare say." 1043 1044The painter stared in amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like 1045that. What had happened? He seemed quite angry. His face was flushed 1046and his cheeks burning. 1047 1048"Yes," he continued, "I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your 1049silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me? 1050Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that when one 1051loses one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything. 1052Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is perfectly right. 1053Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing 1054old, I shall kill myself." 1055 1056Hallward turned pale and caught his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried, 1057"don't talk like that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I 1058shall never have such another. You are not jealous of material things, 1059are you?--you who are finer than any of them!" 1060 1061"I am jealous of everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of 1062the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must 1063lose? Every moment that passes takes something from me and gives 1064something to it. Oh, if it were only the other way! If the picture 1065could change, and I could be always what I am now! Why did you paint 1066it? It will mock me some day--mock me horribly!" The hot tears welled 1067into his eyes; he tore his hand away and, flinging himself on the 1068divan, he buried his face in the cushions, as though he was praying. 1069 1070"This is your doing, Harry," said the painter bitterly. 1071 1072Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "It is the real Dorian Gray--that 1073is all." 1074 1075"It is not." 1076 1077"If it is not, what have I to do with it?" 1078 1079"You should have gone away when I asked you," he muttered. 1080 1081"I stayed when you asked me," was Lord Henry's answer. 1082 1083"Harry, I can't quarrel with my two best friends at once, but between 1084you both you have made me hate the finest piece of work I have ever 1085done, and I will destroy it. What is it but canvas and colour? I will 1086not let it come across our three lives and mar them." 1087 1088Dorian Gray lifted his golden head from the pillow, and with pallid 1089face and tear-stained eyes, looked at him as he walked over to the deal 1090painting-table that was set beneath the high curtained window. What 1091was he doing there? His fingers were straying about among the litter 1092of tin tubes and dry brushes, seeking for something. Yes, it was for 1093the long palette-knife, with its thin blade of lithe steel. He had 1094found it at last. He was going to rip up the canvas. 1095 1096With a stifled sob the lad leaped from the couch, and, rushing over to 1097Hallward, tore the knife out of his hand, and flung it to the end of 1098the studio. "Don't, Basil, don't!" he cried. "It would be murder!" 1099 1100"I am glad you appreciate my work at last, Dorian," said the painter 1101coldly when he had recovered from his surprise. "I never thought you 1102would." 1103 1104"Appreciate it? I am in love with it, Basil. It is part of myself. I 1105feel that." 1106 1107"Well, as soon as you are dry, you shall be varnished, and framed, and 1108sent home. Then you can do what you like with yourself." And he walked 1109across the room and rang the bell for tea. "You will have tea, of 1110course, Dorian? And so will you, Harry? Or do you object to such 1111simple pleasures?" 1112 1113"I adore simple pleasures," said Lord Henry. "They are the last refuge 1114of the complex. But I don't like scenes, except on the stage. What 1115absurd fellows you are, both of you! I wonder who it was defined man 1116as a rational animal. It was the most premature definition ever given. 1117Man is many things, but he is not rational. I am glad he is not, after 1118all--though I wish you chaps would not squabble over the picture. You 1119had much better let me have it, Basil. This silly boy doesn't really 1120want it, and I really do." 1121 1122"If you let any one have it but me, Basil, I shall never forgive you!" 1123cried Dorian Gray; "and I don't allow people to call me a silly boy." 1124 1125"You know the picture is yours, Dorian. I gave it to you before it 1126existed." 1127 1128"And you know you have been a little silly, Mr. Gray, and that you 1129don't really object to being reminded that you are extremely young." 1130 1131"I should have objected very strongly this morning, Lord Henry." 1132 1133"Ah! this morning! You have lived since then." 1134 1135There came a knock at the door, and the butler entered with a laden 1136tea-tray and set it down upon a small Japanese table. There was a 1137rattle of cups and saucers and the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn. 1138Two globe-shaped china dishes were brought in by a page. Dorian Gray 1139went over and poured out the tea. The two men sauntered languidly to 1140the table and examined what was under the covers. 1141 1142"Let us go to the theatre to-night," said Lord Henry. "There is sure 1143to be something on, somewhere. I have promised to dine at White's, but 1144it is only with an old friend, so I can send him a wire to say that I 1145am ill, or that I am prevented from coming in consequence of a 1146subsequent engagement. I think that would be a rather nice excuse: it 1147would have all the surprise of candour." 1148 1149"It is such a bore putting on one's dress-clothes," muttered Hallward. 1150"And, when one has them on, they are so horrid." 1151 1152"Yes," answered Lord Henry dreamily, "the costume of the nineteenth 1153century is detestable. It is so sombre, so depressing. Sin is the 1154only real colour-element left in modern life." 1155 1156"You really must not say things like that before Dorian, Harry." 1157 1158"Before which Dorian? The one who is pouring out tea for us, or the 1159one in the picture?" 1160 1161"Before either." 1162 1163"I should like to come to the theatre with you, Lord Henry," said the 1164lad. 1165 1166"Then you shall come; and you will come, too, Basil, won't you?" 1167 1168"I can't, really. I would sooner not. I have a lot of work to do." 1169 1170"Well, then, you and I will go alone, Mr. Gray." 1171 1172"I should like that awfully." 1173 1174The painter bit his lip and walked over, cup in hand, to the picture. 1175"I shall stay with the real Dorian," he said, sadly. 1176 1177"Is it the real Dorian?" cried the original of the portrait, strolling 1178across to him. "Am I really like that?" 1179 1180"Yes; you are just like that." 1181 1182"How wonderful, Basil!" 1183 1184"At least you are like it in appearance. But it will never alter," 1185sighed Hallward. "That is something." 1186 1187"What a fuss people make about fidelity!" exclaimed Lord Henry. "Why, 1188even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to 1189do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old 1190men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say." 1191 1192"Don't go to the theatre to-night, Dorian," said Hallward. "Stop and 1193dine with me." 1194 1195"I can't, Basil." 1196 1197"Why?" 1198 1199"Because I have promised Lord Henry Wotton to go with him." 1200 1201"He won't like you the better for keeping your promises. He always 1202breaks his own. I beg you not to go." 1203 1204Dorian Gray laughed and shook his head. 1205 1206"I entreat you." 1207 1208The lad hesitated, and looked over at Lord Henry, who was watching them 1209from the tea-table with an amused smile. 1210 1211"I must go, Basil," he answered. 1212 1213"Very well," said Hallward, and he went over and laid down his cup on 1214the tray. "It is rather late, and, as you have to dress, you had 1215better lose no time. Good-bye, Harry. Good-bye, Dorian. Come and see 1216me soon. Come to-morrow." 1217 1218"Certainly." 1219 1220"You won't forget?" 1221 1222"No, of course not," cried Dorian. 1223 1224"And ... Harry!" 1225 1226"Yes, Basil?" 1227 1228"Remember what I asked you, when we were in the garden this morning." 1229 1230"I have forgotten it." 1231 1232"I trust you." 1233 1234"I wish I could trust myself," said Lord Henry, laughing. "Come, Mr. 1235Gray, my hansom is outside, and I can drop you at your own place. 1236Good-bye, Basil. It has been a most interesting afternoon." 1237 1238As the door closed behind them, the painter flung himself down on a 1239sofa, and a look of pain came into his face. 1240 1241 1242 1243CHAPTER 3 1244 1245At half-past twelve next day Lord Henry Wotton strolled from Curzon 1246Street over to the Albany to call on his uncle, Lord Fermor, a genial 1247if somewhat rough-mannered old bachelor, whom the outside world called 1248selfish because it derived no particular benefit from him, but who was 1249considered generous by Society as he fed the people who amused him. 1250His father had been our ambassador at Madrid when Isabella was young 1251and Prim unthought of, but had retired from the diplomatic service in a 1252capricious moment of annoyance on not being offered the Embassy at 1253Paris, a post to which he considered that he was fully entitled by 1254reason of his birth, his indolence, the good English of his dispatches, 1255and his inordinate passion for pleasure. The son, who had been his 1256father's secretary, had resigned along with his chief, somewhat 1257foolishly as was thought at the time, and on succeeding some months 1258later to the title, had set himself to the serious study of the great 1259aristocratic art of doing absolutely nothing. He had two large town 1260houses, but preferred to live in chambers as it was less trouble, and 1261took most of his meals at his club. He paid some attention to the 1262management of his collieries in the Midland counties, excusing himself 1263for this taint of industry on the ground that the one advantage of 1264having coal was that it enabled a gentleman to afford the decency of 1265burning wood on his own hearth. In politics he was a Tory, except when 1266the Tories were in office, during which period he roundly abused them 1267for being a pack of Radicals. He was a hero to his valet, who bullied 1268him, and a terror to most of his relations, whom he bullied in turn. 1269Only England could have produced him, and he always said that the 1270country was going to the dogs. His principles were out of date, but 1271there was a good deal to be said for his prejudices. 1272 1273When Lord Henry entered the room, he found his uncle sitting in a rough 1274shooting-coat, smoking a cheroot and grumbling over _The Times_. "Well, 1275Harry," said the old gentleman, "what brings you out so early? I 1276thought you dandies never got up till two, and were not visible till 1277five." 1278 1279"Pure family affection, I assure you, Uncle George. I want to get 1280something out of you." 1281 1282"Money, I suppose," said Lord Fermor, making a wry face. "Well, sit 1283down and tell me all about it. Young people, nowadays, imagine that 1284money is everything." 1285 1286"Yes," murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; "and 1287when they grow older they know it. But I don't want money. It is only 1288people who pay their bills who want that, Uncle George, and I never pay 1289mine. Credit is the capital of a younger son, and one lives charmingly 1290upon it. Besides, I always deal with Dartmoor's tradesmen, and 1291consequently they never bother me. What I want is information: not 1292useful information, of course; useless information." 1293 1294"Well, I can tell you anything that is in an English Blue Book, Harry, 1295although those fellows nowadays write a lot of nonsense. When I was in 1296the Diplomatic, things were much better. But I hear they let them in 1297now by examination. What can you expect? Examinations, sir, are pure 1298humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite 1299enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him." 1300 1301"Mr. Dorian Gray does not belong to Blue Books, Uncle George," said 1302Lord Henry languidly. 1303 1304"Mr. Dorian Gray? Who is he?" asked Lord Fermor, knitting his bushy 1305white eyebrows. 1306 1307"That is what I have come to learn, Uncle George. Or rather, I know 1308who he is. He is the last Lord Kelso's grandson. His mother was a 1309Devereux, Lady Margaret Devereux. I want you to tell me about his 1310mother. What was she like? Whom did she marry? You have known nearly 1311everybody in your time, so you might have known her. I am very much 1312interested in Mr. Gray at present. I have only just met him." 1313 1314"Kelso's grandson!" echoed the old gentleman. "Kelso's grandson! ... 1315Of course.... I knew his mother intimately. I believe I was at her 1316christening. She was an extraordinarily beautiful girl, Margaret 1317Devereux, and made all the men frantic by running away with a penniless 1318young fellow--a mere nobody, sir, a subaltern in a foot regiment, or 1319something of that kind. Certainly. I remember the whole thing as if 1320it happened yesterday. The poor chap was killed in a duel at Spa a few 1321months after the marriage. There was an ugly story about it. They 1322said Kelso got some rascally adventurer, some Belgian brute, to insult 1323his son-in-law in public--paid him, sir, to do it, paid him--and that 1324the fellow spitted his man as if he had been a pigeon. The thing was 1325hushed up, but, egad, Kelso ate his chop alone at the club for some 1326time afterwards. He brought his daughter back with him, I was told, 1327and she never spoke to him again. Oh, yes; it was a bad business. The 1328girl died, too, died within a year. So she left a son, did she? I had 1329forgotten that. What sort of boy is he? If he is like his mother, he 1330must be a good-looking chap." 1331 1332"He is very good-looking," assented Lord Henry. 1333 1334"I hope he will fall into proper hands," continued the old man. "He 1335should have a pot of money waiting for him if Kelso did the right thing 1336by him. His mother had money, too. All the Selby property came to 1337her, through her grandfather. Her grandfather hated Kelso, thought him 1338a mean dog. He was, too. Came to Madrid once when I was there. Egad, 1339I was ashamed of him. The Queen used to ask me about the English noble 1340who was always quarrelling with the cabmen about their fares. They 1341made quite a story of it. I didn't dare show my face at Court for a 1342month. I hope he treated his grandson better than he did the jarvies." 1343 1344"I don't know," answered Lord Henry. "I fancy that the boy will be 1345well off. He is not of age yet. He has Selby, I know. He told me so. 1346And ... his mother was very beautiful?" 1347 1348"Margaret Devereux was one of the loveliest creatures I ever saw, 1349Harry. What on earth induced her to behave as she did, I never could 1350understand. She could have married anybody she chose. Carlington was 1351mad after her. She was romantic, though. All the women of that family 1352were. The men were a poor lot, but, egad! the women were wonderful. 1353Carlington went on his knees to her. Told me so himself. She laughed 1354at him, and there wasn't a girl in London at the time who wasn't after 1355him. And by the way, Harry, talking about silly marriages, what is 1356this humbug your father tells me about Dartmoor wanting to marry an 1357American? Ain't English girls good enough for him?" 1358 1359"It is rather fashionable to marry Americans just now, Uncle George." 1360 1361"I'll back English women against the world, Harry," said Lord Fermor, 1362striking the table with his fist. 1363 1364"The betting is on the Americans." 1365 1366"They don't last, I am told," muttered his uncle. 1367 1368"A long engagement exhausts them, but they are capital at a 1369steeplechase. They take things flying. I don't think Dartmoor has a 1370chance." 1371 1372"Who are her people?" grumbled the old gentleman. "Has she got any?" 1373 1374Lord Henry shook his head. "American girls are as clever at concealing 1375their parents, as English women are at concealing their past," he said, 1376rising to go. 1377 1378"They are pork-packers, I suppose?" 1379 1380"I hope so, Uncle George, for Dartmoor's sake. I am told that 1381pork-packing is the most lucrative profession in America, after 1382politics." 1383 1384"Is she pretty?" 1385 1386"She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is 1387the secret of their charm." 1388 1389"Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are 1390always telling us that it is the paradise for women." 1391 1392"It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively 1393anxious to get out of it," said Lord Henry. "Good-bye, Uncle George. 1394I shall be late for lunch, if I stop any longer. Thanks for giving me 1395the information I wanted. I always like to know everything about my 1396new friends, and nothing about my old ones." 1397 1398"Where are you lunching, Harry?" 1399 1400"At Aunt Agatha's. I have asked myself and Mr. Gray. He is her latest 1401_protege_." 1402 1403"Humph! tell your Aunt Agatha, Harry, not to bother me any more with 1404her charity appeals. I am sick of them. Why, the good woman thinks 1405that I have nothing to do but to write cheques for her silly fads." 1406 1407"All right, Uncle George, I'll tell her, but it won't have any effect. 1408Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their 1409distinguishing characteristic." 1410 1411The old gentleman growled approvingly and rang the bell for his 1412servant. Lord Henry passed up the low arcade into Burlington Street 1413and turned his steps in the direction of Berkeley Square. 1414 1415So that was the story of Dorian Gray's parentage. Crudely as it had 1416been told to him, it had yet stirred him by its suggestion of a 1417strange, almost modern romance. A beautiful woman risking everything 1418for a mad passion. A few wild weeks of happiness cut short by a 1419hideous, treacherous crime. Months of voiceless agony, and then a 1420child born in pain. The mother snatched away by death, the boy left to 1421solitude and the tyranny of an old and loveless man. Yes; it was an 1422interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect, as it 1423were. Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something 1424tragic. Worlds had to be in travail, that the meanest flower might 1425blow.... And how charming he had been at dinner the night before, as 1426with startled eyes and lips parted in frightened pleasure he had sat 1427opposite to him at the club, the red candleshades staining to a richer 1428rose the wakening wonder of his face. Talking to him was like playing 1429upon an exquisite violin. He answered to every touch and thrill of the 1430bow.... There was something terribly enthralling in the exercise of 1431influence. No other activity was like it. To project one's soul into 1432some gracious form, and let it tarry there for a moment; to hear one's 1433own intellectual views echoed back to one with all the added music of 1434passion and youth; to convey one's temperament into another as though 1435it were a subtle fluid or a strange perfume: there was a real joy in 1436that--perhaps the most satisfying joy left to us in an age so limited 1437and vulgar as our own, an age grossly carnal in its pleasures, and 1438grossly common in its aims.... He was a marvellous type, too, this lad, 1439whom by so curious a chance he had met in Basil's studio, or could be 1440fashioned into a marvellous type, at any rate. Grace was his, and the 1441white purity of boyhood, and beauty such as old Greek marbles kept for 1442us. There was nothing that one could not do with him. He could be 1443made a Titan or a toy. What a pity it was that such beauty was 1444destined to fade! ... And Basil? From a psychological point of view, 1445how interesting he was! The new manner in art, the fresh mode of 1446looking at life, suggested so strangely by the merely visible presence 1447of one who was unconscious of it all; the silent spirit that dwelt in 1448dim woodland, and walked unseen in open field, suddenly showing 1449herself, Dryadlike and not afraid, because in his soul who sought for 1450her there had been wakened that wonderful vision to which alone are 1451wonderful things revealed; the mere shapes and patterns of things 1452becoming, as it were, refined, and gaining a kind of symbolical value, 1453as though they were themselves patterns of some other and more perfect 1454form whose shadow they made real: how strange it all was! He 1455remembered something like it in history. Was it not Plato, that artist 1456in thought, who had first analyzed it? Was it not Buonarotti who had 1457carved it in the coloured marbles of a sonnet-sequence? But in our own 1458century it was strange.... Yes; he would try to be to Dorian Gray 1459what, without knowing it, the lad was to the painter who had fashioned 1460the wonderful portrait. He would seek to dominate him--had already, 1461indeed, half done so. He would make that wonderful spirit his own. 1462There was something fascinating in this son of love and death. 1463 1464Suddenly he stopped and glanced up at the houses. He found that he had 1465passed his aunt's some distance, and, smiling to himself, turned back. 1466When he entered the somewhat sombre hall, the butler told him that they 1467had gone in to lunch. He gave one of the footmen his hat and stick and 1468passed into the dining-room. 1469 1470"Late as usual, Harry," cried his aunt, shaking her head at him. 1471 1472He invented a facile excuse, and having taken the vacant seat next to 1473her, looked round to see who was there. Dorian bowed to him shyly from 1474the end of the table, a flush of pleasure stealing into his cheek. 1475Opposite was the Duchess of Harley, a lady of admirable good-nature and 1476good temper, much liked by every one who knew her, and of those ample 1477architectural proportions that in women who are not duchesses are 1478described by contemporary historians as stoutness. Next to her sat, on 1479her right, Sir Thomas Burdon, a Radical member of Parliament, who 1480followed his leader in public life and in private life followed the 1481best cooks, dining with the Tories and thinking with the Liberals, in 1482accordance with a wise and well-known rule. The post on her left was 1483occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable 1484charm and culture, who had fallen, however, into bad habits of silence, 1485having, as he explained once to Lady Agatha, said everything that he 1486had to say before he was thirty. His own neighbour was Mrs. Vandeleur, 1487one of his aunt's oldest friends, a perfect saint amongst women, but so 1488dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book. 1489Fortunately for him she had on the other side Lord Faudel, a most 1490intelligent middle-aged mediocrity, as bald as a ministerial statement 1491in the House of Commons, with whom she was conversing in that intensely 1492earnest manner which is the one unpardonable error, as he remarked once 1493himself, that all really good people fall into, and from which none of 1494them ever quite escape. 1495 1496"We are talking about poor Dartmoor, Lord Henry," cried the duchess, 1497nodding pleasantly to him across the table. "Do you think he will 1498really marry this fascinating young person?" 1499 1500"I believe she has made up her mind to propose to him, Duchess." 1501 1502"How dreadful!" exclaimed Lady Agatha. "Really, some one should 1503interfere." 1504 1505"I am told, on excellent authority, that her father keeps an American 1506dry-goods store," said Sir Thomas Burdon, looking supercilious. 1507 1508"My uncle has already suggested pork-packing, Sir Thomas." 1509 1510"Dry-goods! What are American dry-goods?" asked the duchess, raising 1511her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb. 1512 1513"American novels," answered Lord Henry, helping himself to some quail. 1514 1515The duchess looked puzzled. 1516 1517"Don't mind him, my dear," whispered Lady Agatha. "He never means 1518anything that he says." 1519 1520"When America was discovered," said the Radical member--and he began to 1521give some wearisome facts. Like all people who try to exhaust a 1522subject, he exhausted his listeners. The duchess sighed and exercised 1523her privilege of interruption. "I wish to goodness it never had been 1524discovered at all!" she exclaimed. "Really, our girls have no chance 1525nowadays. It is most unfair." 1526 1527"Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered," said Mr. 1528Erskine; "I myself would say that it had merely been detected." 1529 1530"Oh! but I have seen specimens of the inhabitants," answered the 1531duchess vaguely. "I must confess that most of them are extremely 1532pretty. And they dress well, too. They get all their dresses in 1533Paris. I wish I could afford to do the same." 1534 1535"They say that when good Americans die they go to Paris," chuckled Sir 1536Thomas, who had a large wardrobe of Humour's cast-off clothes. 1537 1538"Really! And where do bad Americans go to when they die?" inquired the 1539duchess. 1540 1541"They go to America," murmured Lord Henry. 1542 1543Sir Thomas frowned. "I am afraid that your nephew is prejudiced 1544against that great country," he said to Lady Agatha. "I have travelled 1545all over it in cars provided by the directors, who, in such matters, 1546are extremely civil. I assure you that it is an education to visit it." 1547 1548"But must we really see Chicago in order to be educated?" asked Mr. 1549Erskine plaintively. "I don't feel up to the journey." 1550 1551Sir Thomas waved his hand. "Mr. Erskine of Treadley has the world on 1552his shelves. We practical men like to see things, not to read about 1553them. The Americans are an extremely interesting people. They are 1554absolutely reasonable. I think that is their distinguishing 1555characteristic. Yes, Mr. Erskine, an absolutely reasonable people. I 1556assure you there is no nonsense about the Americans." 1557 1558"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute 1559reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. 1560It is hitting below the intellect." 1561 1562"I do not understand you," said Sir Thomas, growing rather red. 1563 1564"I do, Lord Henry," murmured Mr. Erskine, with a smile. 1565 1566"Paradoxes are all very well in their way...." rejoined the baronet. 1567 1568"Was that a paradox?" asked Mr. Erskine. "I did not think so. Perhaps 1569it was. Well, the way of paradoxes is the way of truth. To test 1570reality we must see it on the tight rope. When the verities become 1571acrobats, we can judge them." 1572 1573"Dear me!" said Lady Agatha, "how you men argue! I am sure I never can 1574make out what you are talking about. Oh! Harry, I am quite vexed with 1575you. Why do you try to persuade our nice Mr. Dorian Gray to give up 1576the East End? I assure you he would be quite invaluable. They would 1577love his playing." 1578 1579"I want him to play to me," cried Lord Henry, smiling, and he looked 1580down the table and caught a bright answering glance. 1581 1582"But they are so unhappy in Whitechapel," continued Lady Agatha. 1583 1584"I can sympathize with everything except suffering," said Lord Henry, 1585shrugging his shoulders. "I cannot sympathize with that. It is too 1586ugly, too horrible, too distressing. There is something terribly 1587morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize with 1588the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life's 1589sores, the better." 1590 1591"Still, the East End is a very important problem," remarked Sir Thomas 1592with a grave shake of the head. 1593 1594"Quite so," answered the young lord. "It is the problem of slavery, 1595and we try to solve it by amusing the slaves." 1596 1597The politician looked at him keenly. "What change do you propose, 1598then?" he asked. 1599 1600Lord Henry laughed. "I don't desire to change anything in England 1601except the weather," he answered. "I am quite content with philosophic 1602contemplation. But, as the nineteenth century has gone bankrupt 1603through an over-expenditure of sympathy, I would suggest that we should 1604appeal to science to put us straight. The advantage of the emotions is 1605that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is 1606not emotional." 1607 1608"But we have such grave responsibilities," ventured Mrs. Vandeleur 1609timidly. 1610 1611"Terribly grave," echoed Lady Agatha. 1612 1613Lord Henry looked over at Mr. Erskine. "Humanity takes itself too 1614seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the caveman had known 1615how to laugh, history would have been different." 1616 1617"You are really very comforting," warbled the duchess. "I have always 1618felt rather guilty when I came to see your dear aunt, for I take no 1619interest at all in the East End. For the future I shall be able to 1620look her in the face without a blush." 1621 1622"A blush is very becoming, Duchess," remarked Lord Henry. 1623 1624"Only when one is young," she answered. "When an old woman like myself 1625blushes, it is a very bad sign. Ah! Lord Henry, I wish you would tell 1626me how to become young again." 1627 1628He thought for a moment. "Can you remember any great error that you 1629committed in your early days, Duchess?" he asked, looking at her across 1630the table. 1631 1632"A great many, I fear," she cried. 1633 1634"Then commit them over again," he said gravely. "To get back one's 1635youth, one has merely to repeat one's follies." 1636 1637"A delightful theory!" she exclaimed. "I must put it into practice." 1638 1639"A dangerous theory!" came from Sir Thomas's tight lips. Lady Agatha 1640shook her head, but could not help being amused. Mr. Erskine listened. 1641 1642"Yes," he continued, "that is one of the great secrets of life. 1643Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and 1644discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are 1645one's mistakes." 1646 1647A laugh ran round the table. 1648 1649He played with the idea and grew wilful; tossed it into the air and 1650transformed it; let it escape and recaptured it; made it iridescent 1651with fancy and winged it with paradox. The praise of folly, as he went 1652on, soared into a philosophy, and philosophy herself became young, and 1653catching the mad music of pleasure, wearing, one might fancy, her 1654wine-stained robe and wreath of ivy, danced like a Bacchante over the 1655hills of life, and mocked the slow Silenus for being sober. Facts fled 1656before her like frightened forest things. Her white feet trod the huge 1657press at which wise Omar sits, till the seething grape-juice rose round 1658her bare limbs in waves of purple bubbles, or crawled in red foam over 1659the vat's black, dripping, sloping sides. It was an extraordinary 1660improvisation. He felt that the eyes of Dorian Gray were fixed on him, 1661and the consciousness that amongst his audience there was one whose 1662temperament he wished to fascinate seemed to give his wit keenness and 1663to lend colour to his imagination. He was brilliant, fantastic, 1664irresponsible. He charmed his listeners out of themselves, and they 1665followed his pipe, laughing. Dorian Gray never took his gaze off him, 1666but sat like one under a spell, smiles chasing each other over his lips 1667and wonder growing grave in his darkening eyes. 1668 1669At last, liveried in the costume of the age, reality entered the room 1670in the shape of a servant to tell the duchess that her carriage was 1671waiting. She wrung her hands in mock despair. "How annoying!" she 1672cried. "I must go. I have to call for my husband at the club, to take 1673him to some absurd meeting at Willis's Rooms, where he is going to be 1674in the chair. If I am late he is sure to be furious, and I couldn't 1675have a scene in this bonnet. It is far too fragile. A harsh word 1676would ruin it. No, I must go, dear Agatha. Good-bye, Lord Henry, you 1677are quite delightful and dreadfully demoralizing. I am sure I don't 1678know what to say about your views. You must come and dine with us some 1679night. Tuesday? Are you disengaged Tuesday?" 1680 1681"For you I would throw over anybody, Duchess," said Lord Henry with a 1682bow. 1683 1684"Ah! that is very nice, and very wrong of you," she cried; "so mind you 1685come"; and she swept out of the room, followed by Lady Agatha and the 1686other ladies. 1687 1688When Lord Henry had sat down again, Mr. Erskine moved round, and taking 1689a chair close to him, placed his hand upon his arm. 1690 1691"You talk books away," he said; "why don't you write one?" 1692 1693"I am too fond of reading books to care to write them, Mr. Erskine. I 1694should like to write a novel certainly, a novel that would be as lovely 1695as a Persian carpet and as unreal. But there is no literary public in 1696England for anything except newspapers, primers, and encyclopaedias. 1697Of all people in the world the English have the least sense of the 1698beauty of literature." 1699 1700"I fear you are right," answered Mr. Erskine. "I myself used to have 1701literary ambitions, but I gave them up long ago. And now, my dear 1702young friend, if you will allow me to call you so, may I ask if you 1703really meant all that you said to us at lunch?" 1704 1705"I quite forget what I said," smiled Lord Henry. "Was it all very bad?" 1706 1707"Very bad indeed. In fact I consider you extremely dangerous, and if 1708anything happens to our good duchess, we shall all look on you as being 1709primarily responsible. But I should like to talk to you about life. 1710The generation into which I was born was tedious. Some day, when you 1711are tired of London, come down to Treadley and expound to me your 1712philosophy of pleasure over some admirable Burgundy I am fortunate 1713enough to possess." 1714 1715"I shall be charmed. A visit to Treadley would be a great privilege. 1716It has a perfect host, and a perfect library." 1717 1718"You will complete it," answered the old gentleman with a courteous 1719bow. "And now I must bid good-bye to your excellent aunt. I am due at 1720the Athenaeum. It is the hour when we sleep there." 1721 1722"All of you, Mr. Erskine?" 1723 1724"Forty of us, in forty arm-chairs. We are practising for an English 1725Academy of Letters." 1726 1727Lord Henry laughed and rose. "I am going to the park," he cried. 1728 1729As he was passing out of the door, Dorian Gray touched him on the arm. 1730"Let me come with you," he murmured. 1731 1732"But I thought you had promised Basil Hallward to go and see him," 1733answered Lord Henry. 1734 1735"I would sooner come with you; yes, I feel I must come with you. Do 1736let me. And you will promise to talk to me all the time? No one talks 1737so wonderfully as you do." 1738 1739"Ah! I have talked quite enough for to-day," said Lord Henry, smiling. 1740"All I want now is to look at life. You may come and look at it with 1741me, if you care to." 1742 1743 1744 1745CHAPTER 4 1746 1747One afternoon, a month later, Dorian Gray was reclining in a luxurious 1748arm-chair, in the little library of Lord Henry's house in Mayfair. It 1749was, in its way, a very charming room, with its high panelled 1750wainscoting of olive-stained oak, its cream-coloured frieze and ceiling 1751of raised plasterwork, and its brickdust felt carpet strewn with silk, 1752long-fringed Persian rugs. On a tiny satinwood table stood a statuette 1753by Clodion, and beside it lay a copy of Les Cent Nouvelles, bound for 1754Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve and powdered with the gilt daisies 1755that Queen had selected for her device. Some large blue china jars and 1756parrot-tulips were ranged on the mantelshelf, and through the small 1757leaded panes of the window streamed the apricot-coloured light of a 1758summer day in London. 1759 1760Lord Henry had not yet come in. He was always late on principle, his 1761principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. So the lad was 1762looking rather sulky, as with listless fingers he turned over the pages 1763of an elaborately illustrated edition of Manon Lescaut that he had 1764found in one of the book-cases. The formal monotonous ticking of the 1765Louis Quatorze clock annoyed him. Once or twice he thought of going 1766away. 1767 1768At last he heard a step outside, and the door opened. "How late you 1769are, Harry!" he murmured. 1770 1771"I am afraid it is not Harry, Mr. Gray," answered a shrill voice. 1772 1773He glanced quickly round and rose to his feet. "I beg your pardon. I 1774thought--" 1775 1776"You thought it was my husband. It is only his wife. You must let me 1777introduce myself. I know you quite well by your photographs. I think 1778my husband has got seventeen of them." 1779 1780"Not seventeen, Lady Henry?" 1781 1782"Well, eighteen, then. And I saw you with him the other night at the 1783opera." She laughed nervously as she spoke, and watched him with her 1784vague forget-me-not eyes. She was a curious woman, whose dresses 1785always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a 1786tempest. She was usually in love with somebody, and, as her passion 1787was never returned, she had kept all her illusions. She tried to look 1788picturesque, but only succeeded in being untidy. Her name was 1789Victoria, and she had a perfect mania for going to church. 1790 1791"That was at Lohengrin, Lady Henry, I think?" 1792 1793"Yes; it was at dear Lohengrin. I like Wagner's music better than 1794anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other 1795people hearing what one says. That is a great advantage, don't you 1796think so, Mr. Gray?" 1797 1798The same nervous staccato laugh broke from her thin lips, and her 1799fingers began to play with a long tortoise-shell paper-knife. 1800 1801Dorian smiled and shook his head: "I am afraid I don't think so, Lady 1802Henry. I never talk during music--at least, during good music. If one 1803hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation." 1804 1805"Ah! that is one of Harry's views, isn't it, Mr. Gray? I always hear 1806Harry's views from his friends. It is the only way I get to know of 1807them. But you must not think I don't like good music. I adore it, but 1808I am afraid of it. It makes me too romantic. I have simply worshipped 1809pianists--two at a time, sometimes, Harry tells me. I don't know what 1810it is about them. Perhaps it is that they are foreigners. They all 1811are, ain't they? Even those that are born in England become foreigners 1812after a time, don't they? It is so clever of them, and such a 1813compliment to art. Makes it quite cosmopolitan, doesn't it? You have 1814never been to any of my parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You must come. I 1815can't afford orchids, but I spare no expense in foreigners. They make 1816one's rooms look so picturesque. But here is Harry! Harry, I came in 1817to look for you, to ask you something--I forget what it was--and I 1818found Mr. Gray here. We have had such a pleasant chat about music. We 1819have quite the same ideas. No; I think our ideas are quite different. 1820But he has been most pleasant. I am so glad I've seen him." 1821 1822"I am charmed, my love, quite charmed," said Lord Henry, elevating his 1823dark, crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at them both with an amused 1824smile. "So sorry I am late, Dorian. I went to look after a piece of 1825old brocade in Wardour Street and had to bargain for hours for it. 1826Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing." 1827 1828"I am afraid I must be going," exclaimed Lady Henry, breaking an 1829awkward silence with her silly sudden laugh. "I have promised to drive 1830with the duchess. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Good-bye, Harry. You are 1831dining out, I suppose? So am I. Perhaps I shall see you at Lady 1832Thornbury's." 1833 1834"I dare say, my dear," said Lord Henry, shutting the door behind her 1835as, looking like a bird of paradise that had been out all night in the 1836rain, she flitted out of the room, leaving a faint odour of 1837frangipanni. Then he lit a cigarette and flung himself down on the 1838sofa. 1839 1840"Never marry a woman with straw-coloured hair, Dorian," he said after a 1841few puffs. 1842 1843"Why, Harry?" 1844 1845"Because they are so sentimental." 1846 1847"But I like sentimental people." 1848 1849"Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired; women, 1850because they are curious: both are disappointed." 1851 1852"I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am too much in love. 1853That is one of your aphorisms. I am putting it into practice, as I do 1854everything that you say." 1855 1856"Who are you in love with?" asked Lord Henry after a pause. 1857 1858"With an actress," said Dorian Gray, blushing. 1859 1860Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "That is a rather commonplace 1861_debut_." 1862 1863"You would not say so if you saw her, Harry." 1864 1865"Who is she?" 1866 1867"Her name is Sibyl Vane." 1868 1869"Never heard of her." 1870 1871"No one has. People will some day, however. She is a genius." 1872 1873"My dear boy, no woman is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They 1874never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women 1875represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the 1876triumph of mind over morals." 1877 1878"Harry, how can you?" 1879 1880"My dear Dorian, it is quite true. I am analysing women at present, so 1881I ought to know. The subject is not so abstruse as I thought it was. 1882I find that, ultimately, there are only two kinds of women, the plain 1883and the coloured. The plain women are very useful. If you want to 1884gain a reputation for respectability, you have merely to take them down 1885to supper. The other women are very charming. They commit one 1886mistake, however. They paint in order to try and look young. Our 1887grandmothers painted in order to try and talk brilliantly. _Rouge_ and 1888_esprit_ used to go together. That is all over now. As long as a woman 1889can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly 1890satisfied. As for conversation, there are only five women in London 1891worth talking to, and two of these can't be admitted into decent 1892society. However, tell me about your genius. How long have you known 1893her?" 1894 1895"Ah! Harry, your views terrify me." 1896 1897"Never mind that. How long have you known her?" 1898 1899"About three weeks." 1900 1901"And where did you come across her?" 1902 1903"I will tell you, Harry, but you mustn't be unsympathetic about it. 1904After all, it never would have happened if I had not met you. You 1905filled me with a wild desire to know everything about life. For days 1906after I met you, something seemed to throb in my veins. As I lounged 1907in the park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look at every one 1908who passed me and wonder, with a mad curiosity, what sort of lives they 1909led. Some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with terror. There 1910was an exquisite poison in the air. I had a passion for sensations.... 1911Well, one evening about seven o'clock, I determined to go out in search 1912of some adventure. I felt that this grey monstrous London of ours, 1913with its myriads of people, its sordid sinners, and its splendid sins, 1914as you once phrased it, must have something in store for me. I fancied 1915a thousand things. The mere danger gave me a sense of delight. I 1916remembered what you had said to me on that wonderful evening when we 1917first dined together, about the search for beauty being the real secret 1918of life. I don't know what I expected, but I went out and wandered 1919eastward, soon losing my way in a labyrinth of grimy streets and black 1920grassless squares. About half-past eight I passed by an absurd little 1921theatre, with great flaring gas-jets and gaudy play-bills. A hideous 1922Jew, in the most amazing waistcoat I ever beheld in my life, was 1923standing at the entrance, smoking a vile cigar. He had greasy 1924ringlets, and an enormous diamond blazed in the centre of a soiled 1925shirt. 'Have a box, my Lord?' he said, when he saw me, and he took off 1926his hat with an air of gorgeous servility. There was something about 1927him, Harry, that amused me. He was such a monster. You will laugh at 1928me, I know, but I really went in and paid a whole guinea for the 1929stage-box. To the present day I can't make out why I did so; and yet if 1930I hadn't--my dear Harry, if I hadn't--I should have missed the greatest 1931romance of my life. I see you are laughing. It is horrid of you!" 1932 1933"I am not laughing, Dorian; at least I am not laughing at you. But you 1934should not say the greatest romance of your life. You should say the 1935first romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will 1936always be in love with love. A _grande passion_ is the privilege of 1937people who have nothing to do. That is the one use of the idle classes 1938of a country. Don't be afraid. There are exquisite things in store 1939for you. This is merely the beginning." 1940 1941"Do you think my nature so shallow?" cried Dorian Gray angrily. 1942 1943"No; I think your nature so deep." 1944 1945"How do you mean?" 1946 1947"My dear boy, the people who love only once in their lives are really 1948the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, 1949I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. 1950Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life 1951of the intellect--simply a confession of failure. Faithfulness! I 1952must analyse it some day. The passion for property is in it. There 1953are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that 1954others might pick them up. But I don't want to interrupt you. Go on 1955with your story." 1956 1957"Well, I found myself seated in a horrid little private box, with a 1958vulgar drop-scene staring me in the face. I looked out from behind the 1959curtain and surveyed the house. It was a tawdry affair, all Cupids and 1960cornucopias, like a third-rate wedding-cake. The gallery and pit were 1961fairly full, but the two rows of dingy stalls were quite empty, and 1962there was hardly a person in what I suppose they called the 1963dress-circle. Women went about with oranges and ginger-beer, and there 1964was a terrible consumption of nuts going on." 1965 1966"It must have been just like the palmy days of the British drama." 1967 1968"Just like, I should fancy, and very depressing. I began to wonder 1969what on earth I should do when I caught sight of the play-bill. What 1970do you think the play was, Harry?" 1971 1972"I should think 'The Idiot Boy', or 'Dumb but Innocent'. Our fathers 1973used to like that sort of piece, I believe. The longer I live, Dorian, 1974the more keenly I feel that whatever was good enough for our fathers is 1975not good enough for us. In art, as in politics, _les grandperes ont 1976toujours tort_." 1977 1978"This play was good enough for us, Harry. It was Romeo and Juliet. I 1979must admit that I was rather annoyed at the idea of seeing Shakespeare 1980done in such a wretched hole of a place. Still, I felt interested, in 1981a sort of way. At any rate, I determined to wait for the first act. 1982There was a dreadful orchestra, presided over by a young Hebrew who sat 1983at a cracked piano, that nearly drove me away, but at last the 1984drop-scene was drawn up and the play began. Romeo was a stout elderly 1985gentleman, with corked eyebrows, a husky tragedy voice, and a figure 1986like a beer-barrel. Mercutio was almost as bad. He was played by the 1987low-comedian, who had introduced gags of his own and was on most 1988friendly terms with the pit. They were both as grotesque as the 1989scenery, and that looked as if it had come out of a country-booth. But 1990Juliet! Harry, imagine a girl, hardly seventeen years of age, with a 1991little, flowerlike face, a small Greek head with plaited coils of 1992dark-brown hair, eyes that were violet wells of passion, lips that were 1993like the petals of a rose. She was the loveliest thing I had ever seen 1994in my life. You said to me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that 1995beauty, mere beauty, could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you, 1996Harry, I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears that came 1997across me. And her voice--I never heard such a voice. It was very low 1998at first, with deep mellow notes that seemed to fall singly upon one's 1999ear. Then it became a little louder, and sounded like a flute or a 2000distant hautboy. In the garden-scene it had all the tremulous ecstasy 2001that one hears just before dawn when nightingales are singing. There 2002were moments, later on, when it had the wild passion of violins. You 2003know how a voice can stir one. Your voice and the voice of Sibyl Vane 2004are two things that I shall never forget. When I close my eyes, I hear 2005them, and each of them says something different. I don't know which to 2006follow. Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is 2007everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play. One 2008evening she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen. I have 2009seen her die in the gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the poison from 2010her lover's lips. I have watched her wandering through the forest of 2011Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in hose and doublet and dainty cap. 2012She has been mad, and has come into the presence of a guilty king, and 2013given him rue to wear and bitter herbs to taste of. She has been 2014innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have crushed her reedlike 2015throat. I have seen her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary 2016women never appeal to one's imagination. They are limited to their 2017century. No glamour ever transfigures them. One knows their minds as 2018easily as one knows their bonnets. One can always find them. There is 2019no mystery in any of them. They ride in the park in the morning and 2020chatter at tea-parties in the afternoon. They have their stereotyped 2021smile and their fashionable manner. They are quite obvious. But an 2022actress! How different an actress is! Harry! why didn't you tell me 2023that the only thing worth loving is an actress?" 2024 2025"Because I have loved so many of them, Dorian." 2026 2027"Oh, yes, horrid people with dyed hair and painted faces." 2028 2029"Don't run down dyed hair and painted faces. There is an extraordinary 2030charm in them, sometimes," said Lord Henry. 2031 2032"I wish now I had not told you about Sibyl Vane." 2033 2034"You could not have helped telling me, Dorian. All through your life 2035you will tell me everything you do." 2036 2037"Yes, Harry, I believe that is true. I cannot help telling you things. 2038You have a curious influence over me. If I ever did a crime, I would 2039come and confess it to you. You would understand me." 2040 2041"People like you--the wilful sunbeams of life--don't commit crimes, 2042Dorian. But I am much obliged for the compliment, all the same. And 2043now tell me--reach me the matches, like a good boy--thanks--what are 2044your actual relations with Sibyl Vane?" 2045 2046Dorian Gray leaped to his feet, with flushed cheeks and burning eyes. 2047"Harry! Sibyl Vane is sacred!" 2048 2049"It is only the sacred things that are worth touching, Dorian," said 2050Lord Henry, with a strange touch of pathos in his voice. "But why 2051should you be annoyed? I suppose she will belong to you some day. 2052When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one 2053always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a 2054romance. You know her, at any rate, I suppose?" 2055 2056"Of course I know her. On the first night I was at the theatre, the 2057horrid old Jew came round to the box after the performance was over and 2058offered to take me behind the scenes and introduce me to her. I was 2059furious with him, and told him that Juliet had been dead for hundreds 2060of years and that her body was lying in a marble tomb in Verona. I 2061think, from his blank look of amazement, that he was under the 2062impression that I had taken too much champagne, or something." 2063 2064"I am not surprised." 2065 2066"Then he asked me if I wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I 2067never even read them. He seemed terribly disappointed at that, and 2068confided to me that all the dramatic critics were in a conspiracy 2069against him, and that they were every one of them to be bought." 2070 2071"I should not wonder if he was quite right there. But, on the other 2072hand, judging from their appearance, most of them cannot be at all 2073expensive." 2074 2075"Well, he seemed to think they were beyond his means," laughed Dorian. 2076"By this time, however, the lights were being put out in the theatre, 2077and I had to go. He wanted me to try some cigars that he strongly 2078recommended. I declined. The next night, of course, I arrived at the 2079place again. When he saw me, he made me a low bow and assured me that 2080I was a munificent patron of art. He was a most offensive brute, 2081though he had an extraordinary passion for Shakespeare. He told me 2082once, with an air of pride, that his five bankruptcies were entirely 2083due to 'The Bard,' as he insisted on calling him. He seemed to think 2084it a distinction." 2085 2086"It was a distinction, my dear Dorian--a great distinction. Most 2087people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in the prose 2088of life. To have ruined one's self over poetry is an honour. But when 2089did you first speak to Miss Sibyl Vane?" 2090 2091"The third night. She had been playing Rosalind. I could not help 2092going round. I had thrown her some flowers, and she had looked at 2093me--at least I fancied that she had. The old Jew was persistent. He 2094seemed determined to take me behind, so I consented. It was curious my 2095not wanting to know her, wasn't it?" 2096 2097"No; I don't think so." 2098 2099"My dear Harry, why?" 2100 2101"I will tell you some other time. Now I want to know about the girl." 2102 2103"Sibyl? Oh, she was so shy and so gentle. There is something of a 2104child about her. Her eyes opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told 2105her what I thought of her performance, and she seemed quite unconscious 2106of her power. I think we were both rather nervous. The old Jew stood 2107grinning at the doorway of the dusty greenroom, making elaborate 2108speeches about us both, while we stood looking at each other like 2109children. He would insist on calling me 'My Lord,' so I had to assure 2110Sibyl that I was not anything of the kind. She said quite simply to 2111me, 'You look more like a prince. I must call you Prince Charming.'" 2112 2113"Upon my word, Dorian, Miss Sibyl knows how to pay compliments." 2114 2115"You don't understand her, Harry. She regarded me merely as a person 2116in a play. She knows nothing of life. She lives with her mother, a 2117faded tired woman who played Lady Capulet in a sort of magenta 2118dressing-wrapper on the first night, and looks as if she had seen 2119better days." 2120 2121"I know that look. It depresses me," murmured Lord Henry, examining 2122his rings. 2123 2124"The Jew wanted to tell me her history, but I said it did not interest 2125me." 2126 2127"You were quite right. There is always something infinitely mean about 2128other people's tragedies." 2129 2130"Sibyl is the only thing I care about. What is it to me where she came 2131from? From her little head to her little feet, she is absolutely and 2132entirely divine. Every night of my life I go to see her act, and every 2133night she is more marvellous." 2134 2135"That is the reason, I suppose, that you never dine with me now. I 2136thought you must have some curious romance on hand. You have; but it 2137is not quite what I expected." 2138 2139"My dear Harry, we either lunch or sup together every day, and I have 2140been to the opera with you several times," said Dorian, opening his 2141blue eyes in wonder. 2142 2143"You always come dreadfully late." 2144 2145"Well, I can't help going to see Sibyl play," he cried, "even if it is 2146only for a single act. I get hungry for her presence; and when I think 2147of the wonderful soul that is hidden away in that little ivory body, I 2148am filled with awe." 2149 2150"You can dine with me to-night, Dorian, can't you?" 2151 2152He shook his head. "To-night she is Imogen," he answered, "and 2153to-morrow night she will be Juliet." 2154 2155"When is she Sibyl Vane?" 2156 2157"Never." 2158 2159"I congratulate you." 2160 2161"How horrid you are! She is all the great heroines of the world in 2162one. She is more than an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she 2163has genius. I love her, and I must make her love me. You, who know 2164all the secrets of life, tell me how to charm Sibyl Vane to love me! I 2165want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to 2166hear our laughter and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir 2167their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My God, 2168Harry, how I worship her!" He was walking up and down the room as he 2169spoke. Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks. He was terribly 2170excited. 2171 2172Lord Henry watched him with a subtle sense of pleasure. How different 2173he was now from the shy frightened boy he had met in Basil Hallward's 2174studio! His nature had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of 2175scarlet flame. Out of its secret hiding-place had crept his soul, and 2176desire had come to meet it on the way. 2177 2178"And what do you propose to do?" said Lord Henry at last. 2179 2180"I want you and Basil to come with me some night and see her act. I 2181have not the slightest fear of the result. You are certain to 2182acknowledge her genius. Then we must get her out of the Jew's hands. 2183She is bound to him for three years--at least for two years and eight 2184months--from the present time. I shall have to pay him something, of 2185course. When all that is settled, I shall take a West End theatre and 2186bring her out properly. She will make the world as mad as she has made 2187me." 2188 2189"That would be impossible, my dear boy." 2190 2191"Yes, she will. She has not merely art, consummate art-instinct, in 2192her, but she has personality also; and you have often told me that it 2193is personalities, not principles, that move the age." 2194 2195"Well, what night shall we go?" 2196 2197"Let me see. To-day is Tuesday. Let us fix to-morrow. She plays 2198Juliet to-morrow." 2199 2200"All right. The Bristol at eight o'clock; and I will get Basil." 2201 2202"Not eight, Harry, please. Half-past six. We must be there before the 2203curtain rises. You must see her in the first act, where she meets 2204Romeo." 2205 2206"Half-past six! What an hour! It will be like having a meat-tea, or 2207reading an English novel. It must be seven. No gentleman dines before 2208seven. Shall you see Basil between this and then? Or shall I write to 2209him?" 2210 2211"Dear Basil! I have not laid eyes on him for a week. It is rather 2212horrid of me, as he has sent me my portrait in the most wonderful 2213frame, specially designed by himself, and, though I am a little jealous 2214of the picture for being a whole month younger than I am, I must admit 2215that I delight in it. Perhaps you had better write to him. I don't 2216want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good 2217advice." 2218 2219Lord Henry smiled. "People are very fond of giving away what they need 2220most themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity." 2221 2222"Oh, Basil is the best of fellows, but he seems to me to be just a bit 2223of a Philistine. Since I have known you, Harry, I have discovered 2224that." 2225 2226"Basil, my dear boy, puts everything that is charming in him into his 2227work. The consequence is that he has nothing left for life but his 2228prejudices, his principles, and his common sense. The only artists I 2229have ever known who are personally delightful are bad artists. Good 2230artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly 2231uninteresting in what they are. A great poet, a really great poet, is 2232the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are 2233absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more 2234picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of 2235second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the 2236poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they 2237dare not realize." 2238 2239"I wonder is that really so, Harry?" said Dorian Gray, putting some 2240perfume on his handkerchief out of a large, gold-topped bottle that 2241stood on the table. "It must be, if you say it. And now I am off. 2242Imogen is waiting for me. Don't forget about to-morrow. Good-bye." 2243 2244As he left the room, Lord Henry's heavy eyelids drooped, and he began 2245to think. Certainly few people had ever interested him so much as 2246Dorian Gray, and yet the lad's mad adoration of some one else caused 2247him not the slightest pang of annoyance or jealousy. He was pleased by 2248it. It made him a more interesting study. He had been always 2249enthralled by the methods of natural science, but the ordinary 2250subject-matter of that science had seemed to him trivial and of no 2251import. And so he had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had ended by 2252vivisecting others. Human life--that appeared to him the one thing 2253worth investigating. Compared to it there was nothing else of any 2254value. It was true that as one watched life in its curious crucible of 2255pain and pleasure, one could not wear over one's face a mask of glass, 2256nor keep the sulphurous fumes from troubling the brain and making the 2257imagination turbid with monstrous fancies and misshapen dreams. There 2258were poisons so subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken 2259of them. There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through 2260them if one sought to understand their nature. And, yet, what a great 2261reward one received! How wonderful the whole world became to one! To 2262note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional coloured life 2263of the intellect--to observe where they met, and where they separated, 2264at what point they were in unison, and at what point they were at 2265discord--there was a delight in that! What matter what the cost was? 2266One could never pay too high a price for any sensation. 2267 2268He was conscious--and the thought brought a gleam of pleasure into his 2269brown agate eyes--that it was through certain words of his, musical 2270words said with musical utterance, that Dorian Gray's soul had turned 2271to this white girl and bowed in worship before her. To a large extent 2272the lad was his own creation. He had made him premature. That was 2273something. Ordinary people waited till life disclosed to them its 2274secrets, but to the few, to the elect, the mysteries of life were 2275revealed before the veil was drawn away. Sometimes this was the effect 2276of art, and chiefly of the art of literature, which dealt immediately 2277with the passions and the intellect. But now and then a complex 2278personality took the place and assumed the office of art, was indeed, 2279in its way, a real work of art, life having its elaborate masterpieces, 2280just as poetry has, or sculpture, or painting. 2281 2282Yes, the lad was premature. He was gathering his harvest while it was 2283yet spring. The pulse and passion of youth were in him, but he was 2284becoming self-conscious. It was delightful to watch him. With his 2285beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder at. 2286It was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. He was like 2287one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem 2288to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir one's sense of beauty, 2289and whose wounds are like red roses. 2290 2291Soul and body, body and soul--how mysterious they were! There was 2292animalism in the soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality. 2293The senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade. Who could 2294say where the fleshly impulse ceased, or the psychical impulse began? 2295How shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary psychologists! 2296And yet how difficult to decide between the claims of the various 2297schools! Was the soul a shadow seated in the house of sin? Or was the 2298body really in the soul, as Giordano Bruno thought? The separation of 2299spirit from matter was a mystery, and the union of spirit with matter 2300was a mystery also. 2301 2302He began to wonder whether we could ever make psychology so absolute a 2303science that each little spring of life would be revealed to us. As it 2304was, we always misunderstood ourselves and rarely understood others. 2305Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to 2306their mistakes. Moralists had, as a rule, regarded it as a mode of 2307warning, had claimed for it a certain ethical efficacy in the formation 2308of character, had praised it as something that taught us what to follow 2309and showed us what to avoid. But there was no motive power in 2310experience. It was as little of an active cause as conscience itself. 2311All that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same 2312as our past, and that the sin we had done once, and with loathing, we 2313would do many times, and with joy. 2314 2315It was clear to him that the experimental method was the only method by 2316which one could arrive at any scientific analysis of the passions; and 2317certainly Dorian Gray was a subject made to his hand, and seemed to 2318promise rich and fruitful results. His sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane 2319was a psychological phenomenon of no small interest. There was no 2320doubt that curiosity had much to do with it, curiosity and the desire 2321for new experiences, yet it was not a simple, but rather a very complex 2322passion. What there was in it of the purely sensuous instinct of 2323boyhood had been transformed by the workings of the imagination, 2324changed into something that seemed to the lad himself to be remote from 2325sense, and was for that very reason all the more dangerous. It was the 2326passions about whose origin we deceived ourselves that tyrannized most 2327strongly over us. Our weakest motives were those of whose nature we 2328were conscious. It often happened that when we thought we were 2329experimenting on others we were really experimenting on ourselves. 2330 2331While Lord Henry sat dreaming on these things, a knock came to the 2332door, and his valet entered and reminded him it was time to dress for 2333dinner. He got up and looked out into the street. The sunset had 2334smitten into scarlet gold the upper windows of the houses opposite. 2335The panes glowed like plates of heated metal. The sky above was like a 2336faded rose. He thought of his friend's young fiery-coloured life and 2337wondered how it was all going to end. 2338 2339When he arrived home, about half-past twelve o'clock, he saw a telegram 2340lying on the hall table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian 2341Gray. It was to tell him that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl 2342Vane. 2343 2344 2345 2346CHAPTER 5 2347 2348"Mother, Mother, I am so happy!" whispered the girl, burying her face 2349in the lap of the faded, tired-looking woman who, with back turned to 2350the shrill intrusive light, was sitting in the one arm-chair that their 2351dingy sitting-room contained. "I am so happy!" she repeated, "and you 2352must be happy, too!" 2353 2354Mrs. Vane winced and put her thin, bismuth-whitened hands on her 2355daughter's head. "Happy!" she echoed, "I am only happy, Sibyl, when I 2356see you act. You must not think of anything but your acting. Mr. 2357Isaacs has been very good to us, and we owe him money." 2358 2359The girl looked up and pouted. "Money, Mother?" she cried, "what does 2360money matter? Love is more than money." 2361 2362"Mr. Isaacs has advanced us fifty pounds to pay off our debts and to 2363get a proper outfit for James. You must not forget that, Sibyl. Fifty 2364pounds is a very large sum. Mr. Isaacs has been most considerate." 2365 2366"He is not a gentleman, Mother, and I hate the way he talks to me," 2367said the girl, rising to her feet and going over to the window. 2368 2369"I don't know how we could manage without him," answered the elder 2370woman querulously. 2371 2372Sibyl Vane tossed her head and laughed. "We don't want him any more, 2373Mother. Prince Charming rules life for us now." Then she paused. A 2374rose shook in her blood and shadowed her cheeks. Quick breath parted 2375the petals of her lips. They trembled. Some southern wind of passion 2376swept over her and stirred the dainty folds of her dress. "I love 2377him," she said simply. 2378 2379"Foolish child! foolish child!" was the parrot-phrase flung in answer. 2380The waving of crooked, false-jewelled fingers gave grotesqueness to the 2381words. 2382 2383The girl laughed again. The joy of a caged bird was in her voice. Her 2384eyes caught the melody and echoed it in radiance, then closed for a 2385moment, as though to hide their secret. When they opened, the mist of 2386a dream had passed across them. 2387 2388Thin-lipped wisdom spoke at her from the worn chair, hinted at 2389prudence, quoted from that book of cowardice whose author apes the name 2390of common sense. She did not listen. She was free in her prison of 2391passion. Her prince, Prince Charming, was with her. She had called on 2392memory to remake him. She had sent her soul to search for him, and it 2393had brought him back. His kiss burned again upon her mouth. Her 2394eyelids were warm with his breath. 2395 2396Then wisdom altered its method and spoke of espial and discovery. This 2397young man might be rich. If so, marriage should be thought of. 2398Against the shell of her ear broke the waves of worldly cunning. The 2399arrows of craft shot by her. She saw the thin lips moving, and smiled. 2400 2401Suddenly she felt the need to speak. The wordy silence troubled her. 2402"Mother, Mother," she cried, "why does he love me so much? I know why 2403I love him. I love him because he is like what love himself should be. 2404But what does he see in me? I am not worthy of him. And yet--why, I 2405cannot tell--though I feel so much beneath him, I don't feel humble. I 2406feel proud, terribly proud. Mother, did you love my father as I love 2407Prince Charming?" 2408 2409The elder woman grew pale beneath the coarse powder that daubed her 2410cheeks, and her dry lips twitched with a spasm of pain. Sybil rushed 2411to her, flung her arms round her neck, and kissed her. "Forgive me, 2412Mother. I know it pains you to talk about our father. But it only 2413pains you because you loved him so much. Don't look so sad. I am as 2414happy to-day as you were twenty years ago. Ah! let me be happy for 2415ever!" 2416 2417"My child, you are far too young to think of falling in love. Besides, 2418what do you know of this young man? You don't even know his name. The 2419whole thing is most inconvenient, and really, when James is going away 2420to Australia, and I have so much to think of, I must say that you 2421should have shown more consideration. However, as I said before, if he 2422is rich ..." 2423 2424"Ah! Mother, Mother, let me be happy!" 2425 2426Mrs. Vane glanced at her, and with one of those false theatrical 2427gestures that so often become a mode of second nature to a 2428stage-player, clasped her in her arms. At this moment, the door opened 2429and a young lad with rough brown hair came into the room. He was 2430thick-set of figure, and his hands and feet were large and somewhat 2431clumsy in movement. He was not so finely bred as his sister. One 2432would hardly have guessed the close relationship that existed between 2433them. Mrs. Vane fixed her eyes on him and intensified her smile. She 2434mentally elevated her son to the dignity of an audience. She felt sure 2435that the _tableau_ was interesting. 2436 2437"You might keep some of your kisses for me, Sibyl, I think," said the 2438lad with a good-natured grumble. 2439 2440"Ah! but you don't like being kissed, Jim," she cried. "You are a 2441dreadful old bear." And she ran across the room and hugged him. 2442 2443James Vane looked into his sister's face with tenderness. "I want you 2444to come out with me for a walk, Sibyl. I don't suppose I shall ever 2445see this horrid London again. I am sure I don't want to." 2446 2447"My son, don't say such dreadful things," murmured Mrs. Vane, taking up 2448a tawdry theatrical dress, with a sigh, and beginning to patch it. She 2449felt a little disappointed that he had not joined the group. It would 2450have increased the theatrical picturesqueness of the situation. 2451 2452"Why not, Mother? I mean it." 2453 2454"You pain me, my son. I trust you will return from Australia in a 2455position of affluence. I believe there is no society of any kind in 2456the Colonies--nothing that I would call society--so when you have made 2457your fortune, you must come back and assert yourself in London." 2458 2459"Society!" muttered the lad. "I don't want to know anything about 2460that. I should like to make some money to take you and Sibyl off the 2461stage. I hate it." 2462 2463"Oh, Jim!" said Sibyl, laughing, "how unkind of you! But are you 2464really going for a walk with me? That will be nice! I was afraid you 2465were going to say good-bye to some of your friends--to Tom Hardy, who 2466gave you that hideous pipe, or Ned Langton, who makes fun of you for 2467smoking it. It is very sweet of you to let me have your last 2468afternoon. Where shall we go? Let us go to the park." 2469 2470"I am too shabby," he answered, frowning. "Only swell people go to the 2471park." 2472 2473"Nonsense, Jim," she whispered, stroking the sleeve of his coat. 2474 2475He hesitated for a moment. "Very well," he said at last, "but don't be 2476too long dressing." She danced out of the door. One could hear her 2477singing as she ran upstairs. Her little feet pattered overhead. 2478 2479He walked up and down the room two or three times. Then he turned to 2480the still figure in the chair. "Mother, are my things ready?" he asked. 2481 2482"Quite ready, James," she answered, keeping her eyes on her work. For 2483some months past she had felt ill at ease when she was alone with this 2484rough stern son of hers. Her shallow secret nature was troubled when 2485their eyes met. She used to wonder if he suspected anything. The 2486silence, for he made no other observation, became intolerable to her. 2487She began to complain. Women defend themselves by attacking, just as 2488they attack by sudden and strange surrenders. "I hope you will be 2489contented, James, with your sea-faring life," she said. "You must 2490remember that it is your own choice. You might have entered a 2491solicitor's office. Solicitors are a very respectable class, and in 2492the country often dine with the best families." 2493 2494"I hate offices, and I hate clerks," he replied. "But you are quite 2495right. I have chosen my own life. All I say is, watch over Sibyl. 2496Don't let her come to any harm. Mother, you must watch over her." 2497 2498"James, you really talk very strangely. Of course I watch over Sibyl." 2499 2500"I hear a gentleman comes every night to the theatre and goes behind to 2501talk to her. Is that right? What about that?" 2502 2503"You are speaking about things you don't understand, James. In the 2504profession we are accustomed to receive a great deal of most gratifying 2505attention. I myself used to receive many bouquets at one time. That 2506was when acting was really understood. As for Sibyl, I do not know at 2507present whether her attachment is serious or not. But there is no 2508doubt that the young man in question is a perfect gentleman. He is 2509always most polite to me. Besides, he has the appearance of being 2510rich, and the flowers he sends are lovely." 2511 2512"You don't know his name, though," said the lad harshly. 2513 2514"No," answered his mother with a placid expression in her face. "He 2515has not yet revealed his real name. I think it is quite romantic of 2516him. He is probably a member of the aristocracy." 2517 2518James Vane bit his lip. "Watch over Sibyl, Mother," he cried, "watch 2519over her." 2520 2521"My son, you distress me very much. Sibyl is always under my special 2522care. Of course, if this gentleman is wealthy, there is no reason why 2523she should not contract an alliance with him. I trust he is one of the 2524aristocracy. He has all the appearance of it, I must say. It might be 2525a most brilliant marriage for Sibyl. They would make a charming 2526couple. His good looks are really quite remarkable; everybody notices 2527them." 2528 2529The lad muttered something to himself and drummed on the window-pane 2530with his coarse fingers. He had just turned round to say something 2531when the door opened and Sibyl ran in. 2532 2533"How serious you both are!" she cried. "What is the matter?" 2534 2535"Nothing," he answered. "I suppose one must be serious sometimes. 2536Good-bye, Mother; I will have my dinner at five o'clock. Everything is 2537packed, except my shirts, so you need not trouble." 2538 2539"Good-bye, my son," she answered with a bow of strained stateliness. 2540 2541She was extremely annoyed at the tone he had adopted with her, and 2542there was something in his look that had made her feel afraid. 2543 2544"Kiss me, Mother," said the girl. Her flowerlike lips touched the 2545withered cheek and warmed its frost. 2546 2547"My child! my child!" cried Mrs. Vane, looking up to the ceiling in 2548search of an imaginary gallery. 2549 2550"Come, Sibyl," said her brother impatiently. He hated his mother's 2551affectations. 2552 2553They went out into the flickering, wind-blown sunlight and strolled 2554down the dreary Euston Road. The passersby glanced in wonder at the 2555sullen heavy youth who, in coarse, ill-fitting clothes, was in the 2556company of such a graceful, refined-looking girl. He was like a common 2557gardener walking with a rose. 2558 2559Jim frowned from time to time when he caught the inquisitive glance of 2560some stranger. He had that dislike of being stared at, which comes on 2561geniuses late in life and never leaves the commonplace. Sibyl, 2562however, was quite unconscious of the effect she was producing. Her 2563love was trembling in laughter on her lips. She was thinking of Prince 2564Charming, and, that she might think of him all the more, she did not 2565talk of him, but prattled on about the ship in which Jim was going to 2566sail, about the gold he was certain to find, about the wonderful 2567heiress whose life he was to save from the wicked, red-shirted 2568bushrangers. For he was not to remain a sailor, or a supercargo, or 2569whatever he was going to be. Oh, no! A sailor's existence was 2570dreadful. Fancy being cooped up in a horrid ship, with the hoarse, 2571hump-backed waves trying to get in, and a black wind blowing the masts 2572down and tearing the sails into long screaming ribands! He was to 2573leave the vessel at Melbourne, bid a polite good-bye to the captain, 2574and go off at once to the gold-fields. Before a week was over he was to 2575come across a large nugget of pure gold, the largest nugget that had 2576ever been discovered, and bring it down to the coast in a waggon 2577guarded by six mounted policemen. The bushrangers were to attack them 2578three times, and be defeated with immense slaughter. Or, no. He was 2579not to go to the gold-fields at all. They were horrid places, where 2580men got intoxicated, and shot each other in bar-rooms, and used bad 2581language. He was to be a nice sheep-farmer, and one evening, as he was 2582riding home, he was to see the beautiful heiress being carried off by a 2583robber on a black horse, and give chase, and rescue her. Of course, 2584she would fall in love with him, and he with her, and they would get 2585married, and come home, and live in an immense house in London. Yes, 2586there were delightful things in store for him. But he must be very 2587good, and not lose his temper, or spend his money foolishly. She was 2588only a year older than he was, but she knew so much more of life. He 2589must be sure, also, to write to her by every mail, and to say his 2590prayers each night before he went to sleep. God was very good, and 2591would watch over him. She would pray for him, too, and in a few years 2592he would come back quite rich and happy. 2593 2594The lad listened sulkily to her and made no answer. He was heart-sick 2595at leaving home. 2596 2597Yet it was not this alone that made him gloomy and morose. 2598Inexperienced though he was, he had still a strong sense of the danger 2599of Sibyl's position. This young dandy who was making love to her could 2600mean her no good. He was a gentleman, and he hated him for that, hated 2601him through some curious race-instinct for which he could not account, 2602and which for that reason was all the more dominant within him. He was 2603conscious also of the shallowness and vanity of his mother's nature, 2604and in that saw infinite peril for Sibyl and Sibyl's happiness. 2605Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge 2606them; sometimes they forgive them. 2607 2608His mother! He had something on his mind to ask of her, something that 2609he had brooded on for many months of silence. A chance phrase that he 2610had heard at the theatre, a whispered sneer that had reached his ears 2611one night as he waited at the stage-door, had set loose a train of 2612horrible thoughts. He remembered it as if it had been the lash of a 2613hunting-crop across his face. His brows knit together into a wedge-like 2614furrow, and with a twitch of pain he bit his underlip. 2615 2616"You are not listening to a word I am saying, Jim," cried Sibyl, "and I 2617am making the most delightful plans for your future. Do say something." 2618 2619"What do you want me to say?" 2620 2621"Oh! that you will be a good boy and not forget us," she answered, 2622smiling at him. 2623 2624He shrugged his shoulders. "You are more likely to forget me than I am 2625to forget you, Sibyl." 2626 2627She flushed. "What do you mean, Jim?" she asked. 2628 2629"You have a new friend, I hear. Who is he? Why have you not told me 2630about him? He means you no good." 2631 2632"Stop, Jim!" she exclaimed. "You must not say anything against him. I 2633love him." 2634 2635"Why, you don't even know his name," answered the lad. "Who is he? I 2636have a right to know." 2637 2638"He is called Prince Charming. Don't you like the name. Oh! you silly 2639boy! you should never forget it. If you only saw him, you would think 2640him the most wonderful person in the world. Some day you will meet 2641him--when you come back from Australia. You will like him so much. 2642Everybody likes him, and I ... love him. I wish you could come to the 2643theatre to-night. He is going to be there, and I am to play Juliet. 2644Oh! how I shall play it! Fancy, Jim, to be in love and play Juliet! 2645To have him sitting there! To play for his delight! I am afraid I may 2646frighten the company, frighten or enthrall them. To be in love is to 2647surpass one's self. Poor dreadful Mr. Isaacs will be shouting 'genius' 2648to his loafers at the bar. He has preached me as a dogma; to-night he 2649will announce me as a revelation. I feel it. And it is all his, his 2650only, Prince Charming, my wonderful lover, my god of graces. But I am 2651poor beside him. Poor? What does that matter? When poverty creeps in 2652at the door, love flies in through the window. Our proverbs want 2653rewriting. They were made in winter, and it is summer now; spring-time 2654for me, I think, a very dance of blossoms in blue skies." 2655 2656"He is a gentleman," said the lad sullenly. 2657 2658"A prince!" she cried musically. "What more do you want?" 2659 2660"He wants to enslave you." 2661 2662"I shudder at the thought of being free." 2663 2664"I want you to beware of him." 2665 2666"To see him is to worship him; to know him is to trust him." 2667 2668"Sibyl, you are mad about him." 2669 2670She laughed and took his arm. "You dear old Jim, you talk as if you 2671were a hundred. Some day you will be in love yourself. Then you will 2672know what it is. Don't look so sulky. Surely you should be glad to 2673think that, though you are going away, you leave me happier than I have 2674ever been before. Life has been hard for us both, terribly hard and 2675difficult. But it will be different now. You are going to a new 2676world, and I have found one. Here are two chairs; let us sit down and 2677see the smart people go by." 2678 2679They took their seats amidst a crowd of watchers. The tulip-beds 2680across the road flamed like throbbing rings of fire. A white 2681dust--tremulous cloud of orris-root it seemed--hung in the panting air. 2682The brightly coloured parasols danced and dipped like monstrous 2683butterflies. 2684 2685She made her brother talk of himself, his hopes, his prospects. He 2686spoke slowly and with effort. They passed words to each other as 2687players at a game pass counters. Sibyl felt oppressed. She could not 2688communicate her joy. A faint smile curving that sullen mouth was all 2689the echo she could win. After some time she became silent. Suddenly 2690she caught a glimpse of golden hair and laughing lips, and in an open 2691carriage with two ladies Dorian Gray drove past. 2692 2693She started to her feet. "There he is!" she cried. 2694 2695"Who?" said Jim Vane. 2696 2697"Prince Charming," she answered, looking after the victoria. 2698 2699He jumped up and seized her roughly by the arm. "Show him to me. 2700Which is he? Point him out. I must see him!" he exclaimed; but at 2701that moment the Duke of Berwick's four-in-hand came between, and when 2702it had left the space clear, the carriage had swept out of the park. 2703 2704"He is gone," murmured Sibyl sadly. "I wish you had seen him." 2705 2706"I wish I had, for as sure as there is a God in heaven, if he ever does 2707you any wrong, I shall kill him." 2708 2709She looked at him in horror. He repeated his words. They cut the air 2710like a dagger. The people round began to gape. A lady standing close 2711to her tittered. 2712 2713"Come away, Jim; come away," she whispered. He followed her doggedly 2714as she passed through the crowd. He felt glad at what he had said. 2715 2716When they reached the Achilles Statue, she turned round. There was 2717pity in her eyes that became laughter on her lips. She shook her head 2718at him. "You are foolish, Jim, utterly foolish; a bad-tempered boy, 2719that is all. How can you say such horrible things? You don't know 2720what you are talking about. You are simply jealous and unkind. Ah! I 2721wish you would fall in love. Love makes people good, and what you said 2722was wicked." 2723 2724"I am sixteen," he answered, "and I know what I am about. Mother is no 2725help to you. She doesn't understand how to look after you. I wish now 2726that I was not going to Australia at all. I have a great mind to chuck 2727the whole thing up. I would, if my articles hadn't been signed." 2728 2729"Oh, don't be so serious, Jim. You are like one of the heroes of those 2730silly melodramas Mother used to be so fond of acting in. I am not 2731going to quarrel with you. I have seen him, and oh! to see him is 2732perfect happiness. We won't quarrel. I know you would never harm any 2733one I love, would you?" 2734 2735"Not as long as you love him, I suppose," was the sullen answer. 2736 2737"I shall love him for ever!" she cried. 2738 2739"And he?" 2740 2741"For ever, too!" 2742 2743"He had better." 2744 2745She shrank from him. Then she laughed and put her hand on his arm. He 2746was merely a boy. 2747 2748At the Marble Arch they hailed an omnibus, which left them close to 2749their shabby home in the Euston Road. It was after five o'clock, and 2750Sibyl had to lie down for a couple of hours before acting. Jim 2751insisted that she should do so. He said that he would sooner part with 2752her when their mother was not present. She would be sure to make a 2753scene, and he detested scenes of every kind. 2754 2755In Sybil's own room they parted. There was jealousy in the lad's 2756heart, and a fierce murderous hatred of the stranger who, as it seemed 2757to him, had come between them. Yet, when her arms were flung round his 2758neck, and her fingers strayed through his hair, he softened and kissed 2759her with real affection. There were tears in his eyes as he went 2760downstairs. 2761 2762His mother was waiting for him below. She grumbled at his 2763unpunctuality, as he entered. He made no answer, but sat down to his 2764meagre meal. The flies buzzed round the table and crawled over the 2765stained cloth. Through the rumble of omnibuses, and the clatter of 2766street-cabs, he could hear the droning voice devouring each minute that 2767was left to him. 2768 2769After some time, he thrust away his plate and put his head in his 2770hands. He felt that he had a right to know. It should have been told 2771to him before, if it was as he suspected. Leaden with fear, his mother 2772watched him. Words dropped mechanically from her lips. A tattered 2773lace handkerchief twitched in her fingers. When the clock struck six, 2774he got up and went to the door. Then he turned back and looked at her. 2775Their eyes met. In hers he saw a wild appeal for mercy. It enraged 2776him. 2777 2778"Mother, I have something to ask you," he said. Her eyes wandered 2779vaguely about the room. She made no answer. "Tell me the truth. I 2780have a right to know. Were you married to my father?" 2781 2782She heaved a deep sigh. It was a sigh of relief. The terrible moment, 2783the moment that night and day, for weeks and months, she had dreaded, 2784had come at last, and yet she felt no terror. Indeed, in some measure 2785it was a disappointment to her. The vulgar directness of the question 2786called for a direct answer. The situation had not been gradually led 2787up to. It was crude. It reminded her of a bad rehearsal. 2788 2789"No," she answered, wondering at the harsh simplicity of life. 2790 2791"My father was a scoundrel then!" cried the lad, clenching his fists. 2792 2793She shook her head. "I knew he was not free. We loved each other very 2794much. If he had lived, he would have made provision for us. Don't 2795speak against him, my son. He was your father, and a gentleman. 2796Indeed, he was highly connected." 2797 2798An oath broke from his lips. "I don't care for myself," he exclaimed, 2799"but don't let Sibyl.... It is a gentleman, isn't it, who is in love 2800with her, or says he is? Highly connected, too, I suppose." 2801 2802For a moment a hideous sense of humiliation came over the woman. Her 2803head drooped. She wiped her eyes with shaking hands. "Sibyl has a 2804mother," she murmured; "I had none." 2805 2806The lad was touched. He went towards her, and stooping down, he kissed 2807her. "I am sorry if I have pained you by asking about my father," he 2808said, "but I could not help it. I must go now. Good-bye. Don't forget 2809that you will have only one child now to look after, and believe me 2810that if this man wrongs my sister, I will find out who he is, track him 2811down, and kill him like a dog. I swear it." 2812 2813The exaggerated folly of the threat, the passionate gesture that 2814accompanied it, the mad melodramatic words, made life seem more vivid 2815to her. She was familiar with the atmosphere. She breathed more 2816freely, and for the first time for many months she really admired her 2817son. She would have liked to have continued the scene on the same 2818emotional scale, but he cut her short. Trunks had to be carried down 2819and mufflers looked for. The lodging-house drudge bustled in and out. 2820There was the bargaining with the cabman. The moment was lost in 2821vulgar details. It was with a renewed feeling of disappointment that 2822she waved the tattered lace handkerchief from the window, as her son 2823drove away. She was conscious that a great opportunity had been 2824wasted. She consoled herself by telling Sibyl how desolate she felt 2825her life would be, now that she had only one child to look after. She 2826remembered the phrase. It had pleased her. Of the threat she said 2827nothing. It was vividly and dramatically expressed. She felt that 2828they would all laugh at it some day. 2829 2830 2831 2832CHAPTER 6 2833 2834"I suppose you have heard the news, Basil?" said Lord Henry that 2835evening as Hallward was shown into a little private room at the Bristol 2836where dinner had been laid for three. 2837 2838"No, Harry," answered the artist, giving his hat and coat to the bowing 2839waiter. "What is it? Nothing about politics, I hope! They don't 2840interest me. There is hardly a single person in the House of Commons 2841worth painting, though many of them would be the better for a little 2842whitewashing." 2843 2844"Dorian Gray is engaged to be married," said Lord Henry, watching him 2845as he spoke. 2846 2847Hallward started and then frowned. "Dorian engaged to be married!" he 2848cried. "Impossible!" 2849 2850"It is perfectly true." 2851 2852"To whom?" 2853 2854"To some little actress or other." 2855 2856"I can't believe it. Dorian is far too sensible." 2857 2858"Dorian is far too wise not to do foolish things now and then, my dear 2859Basil." 2860 2861"Marriage is hardly a thing that one can do now and then, Harry." 2862 2863"Except in America," rejoined Lord Henry languidly. "But I didn't say 2864he was married. I said he was engaged to be married. There is a great 2865difference. I have a distinct remembrance of being married, but I have 2866no recollection at all of being engaged. I am inclined to think that I 2867never was engaged." 2868 2869"But think of Dorian's birth, and position, and wealth. It would be 2870absurd for him to marry so much beneath him." 2871 2872"If you want to make him marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He is 2873sure to do it, then. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it 2874is always from the noblest motives." 2875 2876"I hope the girl is good, Harry. I don't want to see Dorian tied to 2877some vile creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his 2878intellect." 2879 2880"Oh, she is better than good--she is beautiful," murmured Lord Henry, 2881sipping a glass of vermouth and orange-bitters. "Dorian says she is 2882beautiful, and he is not often wrong about things of that kind. Your 2883portrait of him has quickened his appreciation of the personal 2884appearance of other people. It has had that excellent effect, amongst 2885others. We are to see her to-night, if that boy doesn't forget his 2886appointment." 2887 2888"Are you serious?" 2889 2890"Quite serious, Basil. I should be miserable if I thought I should 2891ever be more serious than I am at the present moment." 2892 2893"But do you approve of it, Harry?" asked the painter, walking up and 2894down the room and biting his lip. "You can't approve of it, possibly. 2895It is some silly infatuation." 2896 2897"I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd 2898attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air 2899our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people 2900say, and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a 2901personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality 2902selects is absolutely delightful to me. Dorian Gray falls in love with 2903a beautiful girl who acts Juliet, and proposes to marry her. Why not? 2904If he wedded Messalina, he would be none the less interesting. You 2905know I am not a champion of marriage. The real drawback to marriage is 2906that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colourless. 2907They lack individuality. Still, there are certain temperaments that 2908marriage makes more complex. They retain their egotism, and add to it 2909many other egos. They are forced to have more than one life. They 2910become more highly organized, and to be highly organized is, I should 2911fancy, the object of man's existence. Besides, every experience is of 2912value, and whatever one may say against marriage, it is certainly an 2913experience. I hope that Dorian Gray will make this girl his wife, 2914passionately adore her for six months, and then suddenly become 2915fascinated by some one else. He would be a wonderful study." 2916 2917"You don't mean a single word of all that, Harry; you know you don't. 2918If Dorian Gray's life were spoiled, no one would be sorrier than 2919yourself. You are much better than you pretend to be." 2920 2921Lord Henry laughed. "The reason we all like to think so well of others 2922is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is 2923sheer terror. We think that we are generous because we credit our 2924neighbour with the possession of those virtues that are likely to be a 2925benefit to us. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account, 2926and find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope that he may spare 2927our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the greatest 2928contempt for optimism. As for a spoiled life, no life is spoiled but 2929one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a nature, you have 2930merely to reform it. As for marriage, of course that would be silly, 2931but there are other and more interesting bonds between men and women. 2932I will certainly encourage them. They have the charm of being 2933fashionable. But here is Dorian himself. He will tell you more than I 2934can." 2935 2936"My dear Harry, my dear Basil, you must both congratulate me!" said the 2937lad, throwing off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings and 2938shaking each of his friends by the hand in turn. "I have never been so 2939happy. Of course, it is sudden--all really delightful things are. And 2940yet it seems to me to be the one thing I have been looking for all my 2941life." He was flushed with excitement and pleasure, and looked 2942extraordinarily handsome. 2943 2944"I hope you will always be very happy, Dorian," said Hallward, "but I 2945don't quite forgive you for not having let me know of your engagement. 2946You let Harry know." 2947 2948"And I don't forgive you for being late for dinner," broke in Lord 2949Henry, putting his hand on the lad's shoulder and smiling as he spoke. 2950"Come, let us sit down and try what the new _chef_ here is like, and then 2951you will tell us how it all came about." 2952 2953"There is really not much to tell," cried Dorian as they took their 2954seats at the small round table. "What happened was simply this. After 2955I left you yesterday evening, Harry, I dressed, had some dinner at that 2956little Italian restaurant in Rupert Street you introduced me to, and 2957went down at eight o'clock to the theatre. Sibyl was playing Rosalind. 2958Of course, the scenery was dreadful and the Orlando absurd. But Sibyl! 2959You should have seen her! When she came on in her boy's clothes, she 2960was perfectly wonderful. She wore a moss-coloured velvet jerkin with 2961cinnamon sleeves, slim, brown, cross-gartered hose, a dainty little 2962green cap with a hawk's feather caught in a jewel, and a hooded cloak 2963lined with dull red. She had never seemed to me more exquisite. She 2964had all the delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine that you have in 2965your studio, Basil. Her hair clustered round her face like dark leaves 2966round a pale rose. As for her acting--well, you shall see her 2967to-night. She is simply a born artist. I sat in the dingy box 2968absolutely enthralled. I forgot that I was in London and in the 2969nineteenth century. I was away with my love in a forest that no man 2970had ever seen. After the performance was over, I went behind and spoke 2971to her. As we were sitting together, suddenly there came into her eyes 2972a look that I had never seen there before. My lips moved towards hers. 2973We kissed each other. I can't describe to you what I felt at that 2974moment. It seemed to me that all my life had been narrowed to one 2975perfect point of rose-coloured joy. She trembled all over and shook 2976like a white narcissus. Then she flung herself on her knees and kissed 2977my hands. I feel that I should not tell you all this, but I can't help 2978it. Of course, our engagement is a dead secret. She has not even told 2979her own mother. I don't know what my guardians will say. Lord Radley 2980is sure to be furious. I don't care. I shall be of age in less than a 2981year, and then I can do what I like. I have been right, Basil, haven't 2982I, to take my love out of poetry and to find my wife in Shakespeare's 2983plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their 2984secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and 2985kissed Juliet on the mouth." 2986 2987"Yes, Dorian, I suppose you were right," said Hallward slowly. 2988 2989"Have you seen her to-day?" asked Lord Henry. 2990 2991Dorian Gray shook his head. "I left her in the forest of Arden; I 2992shall find her in an orchard in Verona." 2993 2994Lord Henry sipped his champagne in a meditative manner. "At what 2995particular point did you mention the word marriage, Dorian? And what 2996did she say in answer? Perhaps you forgot all about it." 2997 2998"My dear Harry, I did not treat it as a business transaction, and I did 2999not make any formal proposal. I told her that I loved her, and she 3000said she was not worthy to be my wife. Not worthy! Why, the whole 3001world is nothing to me compared with her." 3002 3003"Women are wonderfully practical," murmured Lord Henry, "much more 3004practical than we are. In situations of that kind we often forget to 3005say anything about marriage, and they always remind us." 3006 3007Hallward laid his hand upon his arm. "Don't, Harry. You have annoyed 3008Dorian. He is not like other men. He would never bring misery upon 3009any one. His nature is too fine for that." 3010 3011Lord Henry looked across the table. "Dorian is never annoyed with me," 3012he answered. "I asked the question for the best reason possible, for 3013the only reason, indeed, that excuses one for asking any 3014question--simple curiosity. I have a theory that it is always the 3015women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women. Except, 3016of course, in middle-class life. But then the middle classes are not 3017modern." 3018 3019Dorian Gray laughed, and tossed his head. "You are quite incorrigible, 3020Harry; but I don't mind. It is impossible to be angry with you. When 3021you see Sibyl Vane, you will feel that the man who could wrong her 3022would be a beast, a beast without a heart. I cannot understand how any 3023one can wish to shame the thing he loves. I love Sibyl Vane. I want 3024to place her on a pedestal of gold and to see the world worship the 3025woman who is mine. What is marriage? An irrevocable vow. You mock at 3026it for that. Ah! don't mock. It is an irrevocable vow that I want to 3027take. Her trust makes me faithful, her belief makes me good. When I 3028am with her, I regret all that you have taught me. I become different 3029from what you have known me to be. I am changed, and the mere touch of 3030Sibyl Vane's hand makes me forget you and all your wrong, fascinating, 3031poisonous, delightful theories." 3032 3033"And those are ...?" asked Lord Henry, helping himself to some salad. 3034 3035"Oh, your theories about life, your theories about love, your theories 3036about pleasure. All your theories, in fact, Harry." 3037 3038"Pleasure is the only thing worth having a theory about," he answered 3039in his slow melodious voice. "But I am afraid I cannot claim my theory 3040as my own. It belongs to Nature, not to me. Pleasure is Nature's 3041test, her sign of approval. When we are happy, we are always good, but 3042when we are good, we are not always happy." 3043 3044"Ah! but what do you mean by good?" cried Basil Hallward. 3045 3046"Yes," echoed Dorian, leaning back in his chair and looking at Lord 3047Henry over the heavy clusters of purple-lipped irises that stood in the 3048centre of the table, "what do you mean by good, Harry?" 3049 3050"To be good is to be in harmony with one's self," he replied, touching 3051the thin stem of his glass with his pale, fine-pointed fingers. 3052"Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others. One's own 3053life--that is the important thing. As for the lives of one's 3054neighbours, if one wishes to be a prig or a Puritan, one can flaunt 3055one's moral views about them, but they are not one's concern. Besides, 3056individualism has really the higher aim. Modern morality consists in 3057accepting the standard of one's age. I consider that for any man of 3058culture to accept the standard of his age is a form of the grossest 3059immorality." 3060 3061"But, surely, if one lives merely for one's self, Harry, one pays a 3062terrible price for doing so?" suggested the painter. 3063 3064"Yes, we are overcharged for everything nowadays. I should fancy that 3065the real tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but 3066self-denial. Beautiful sins, like beautiful things, are the privilege 3067of the rich." 3068 3069"One has to pay in other ways but money." 3070 3071"What sort of ways, Basil?" 3072 3073"Oh! I should fancy in remorse, in suffering, in ... well, in the 3074consciousness of degradation." 3075 3076Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "My dear fellow, mediaeval art is 3077charming, but mediaeval emotions are out of date. One can use them in 3078fiction, of course. But then the only things that one can use in 3079fiction are the things that one has ceased to use in fact. Believe me, 3080no civilized man ever regrets a pleasure, and no uncivilized man ever 3081knows what a pleasure is." 3082 3083"I know what pleasure is," cried Dorian Gray. "It is to adore some 3084one." 3085 3086"That is certainly better than being adored," he answered, toying with 3087some fruits. "Being adored is a nuisance. Women treat us just as 3088humanity treats its gods. They worship us, and are always bothering us 3089to do something for them." 3090 3091"I should have said that whatever they ask for they had first given to 3092us," murmured the lad gravely. "They create love in our natures. They 3093have a right to demand it back." 3094 3095"That is quite true, Dorian," cried Hallward. 3096 3097"Nothing is ever quite true," said Lord Henry. 3098 3099"This is," interrupted Dorian. "You must admit, Harry, that women give 3100to men the very gold of their lives." 3101 3102"Possibly," he sighed, "but they invariably want it back in such very 3103small change. That is the worry. Women, as some witty Frenchman once 3104put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and always 3105prevent us from carrying them out." 3106 3107"Harry, you are dreadful! I don't know why I like you so much." 3108 3109"You will always like me, Dorian," he replied. "Will you have some 3110coffee, you fellows? Waiter, bring coffee, and _fine-champagne_, and 3111some cigarettes. No, don't mind the cigarettes--I have some. Basil, I 3112can't allow you to smoke cigars. You must have a cigarette. A 3113cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, 3114and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? Yes, Dorian, 3115you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you 3116have never had the courage to commit." 3117 3118"What nonsense you talk, Harry!" cried the lad, taking a light from a 3119fire-breathing silver dragon that the waiter had placed on the table. 3120"Let us go down to the theatre. When Sibyl comes on the stage you will 3121have a new ideal of life. She will represent something to you that you 3122have never known." 3123 3124"I have known everything," said Lord Henry, with a tired look in his 3125eyes, "but I am always ready for a new emotion. I am afraid, however, 3126that, for me at any rate, there is no such thing. Still, your 3127wonderful girl may thrill me. I love acting. It is so much more real 3128than life. Let us go. Dorian, you will come with me. I am so sorry, 3129Basil, but there is only room for two in the brougham. You must follow 3130us in a hansom." 3131 3132They got up and put on their coats, sipping their coffee standing. The 3133painter was silent and preoccupied. There was a gloom over him. He 3134could not bear this marriage, and yet it seemed to him to be better 3135than many other things that might have happened. After a few minutes, 3136they all passed downstairs. He drove off by himself, as had been 3137arranged, and watched the flashing lights of the little brougham in 3138front of him. A strange sense of loss came over him. He felt that 3139Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the 3140past. Life had come between them.... His eyes darkened, and the 3141crowded flaring streets became blurred to his eyes. When the cab drew 3142up at the theatre, it seemed to him that he had grown years older. 3143 3144 3145 3146CHAPTER 7 3147 3148For some reason or other, the house was crowded that night, and the fat 3149Jew manager who met them at the door was beaming from ear to ear with 3150an oily tremulous smile. He escorted them to their box with a sort of 3151pompous humility, waving his fat jewelled hands and talking at the top 3152of his voice. Dorian Gray loathed him more than ever. He felt as if 3153he had come to look for Miranda and had been met by Caliban. Lord 3154Henry, upon the other hand, rather liked him. At least he declared he 3155did, and insisted on shaking him by the hand and assuring him that he 3156was proud to meet a man who had discovered a real genius and gone 3157bankrupt over a poet. Hallward amused himself with watching the faces 3158in the pit. The heat was terribly oppressive, and the huge sunlight 3159flamed like a monstrous dahlia with petals of yellow fire. The youths 3160in the gallery had taken off their coats and waistcoats and hung them 3161over the side. They talked to each other across the theatre and shared 3162their oranges with the tawdry girls who sat beside them. Some women 3163were laughing in the pit. Their voices were horribly shrill and 3164discordant. The sound of the popping of corks came from the bar. 3165 3166"What a place to find one's divinity in!" said Lord Henry. 3167 3168"Yes!" answered Dorian Gray. "It was here I found her, and she is 3169divine beyond all living things. When she acts, you will forget 3170everything. These common rough people, with their coarse faces and 3171brutal gestures, become quite different when she is on the stage. They 3172sit silently and watch her. They weep and laugh as she wills them to 3173do. She makes them as responsive as a violin. She spiritualizes them, 3174and one feels that they are of the same flesh and blood as one's self." 3175 3176"The same flesh and blood as one's self! Oh, I hope not!" exclaimed 3177Lord Henry, who was scanning the occupants of the gallery through his 3178opera-glass. 3179 3180"Don't pay any attention to him, Dorian," said the painter. "I 3181understand what you mean, and I believe in this girl. Any one you love 3182must be marvellous, and any girl who has the effect you describe must 3183be fine and noble. To spiritualize one's age--that is something worth 3184doing. If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived without 3185one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people whose lives have 3186been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of their selfishness and 3187lend them tears for sorrows that are not their own, she is worthy of 3188all your adoration, worthy of the adoration of the world. This 3189marriage is quite right. I did not think so at first, but I admit it 3190now. The gods made Sibyl Vane for you. Without her you would have 3191been incomplete." 3192 3193"Thanks, Basil," answered Dorian Gray, pressing his hand. "I knew that 3194you would understand me. Harry is so cynical, he terrifies me. But 3195here is the orchestra. It is quite dreadful, but it only lasts for 3196about five minutes. Then the curtain rises, and you will see the girl 3197to whom I am going to give all my life, to whom I have given everything 3198that is good in me." 3199 3200A quarter of an hour afterwards, amidst an extraordinary turmoil of 3201applause, Sibyl Vane stepped on to the stage. Yes, she was certainly 3202lovely to look at--one of the loveliest creatures, Lord Henry thought, 3203that he had ever seen. There was something of the fawn in her shy 3204grace and startled eyes. A faint blush, like the shadow of a rose in a 3205mirror of silver, came to her cheeks as she glanced at the crowded 3206enthusiastic house. She stepped back a few paces and her lips seemed 3207to tremble. Basil Hallward leaped to his feet and began to applaud. 3208Motionless, and as one in a dream, sat Dorian Gray, gazing at her. 3209Lord Henry peered through his glasses, murmuring, "Charming! charming!" 3210 3211The scene was the hall of Capulet's house, and Romeo in his pilgrim's 3212dress had entered with Mercutio and his other friends. The band, such 3213as it was, struck up a few bars of music, and the dance began. Through 3214the crowd of ungainly, shabbily dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like a 3215creature from a finer world. Her body swayed, while she danced, as a 3216plant sways in the water. The curves of her throat were the curves of 3217a white lily. Her hands seemed to be made of cool ivory. 3218 3219Yet she was curiously listless. She showed no sign of joy when her 3220eyes rested on Romeo. The few words she had to speak-- 3221 3222 Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, 3223 Which mannerly devotion shows in this; 3224 For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, 3225 And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss-- 3226 3227with the brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a thoroughly 3228artificial manner. The voice was exquisite, but from the point of view 3229of tone it was absolutely false. It was wrong in colour. It took away 3230all the life from the verse. It made the passion unreal. 3231 3232Dorian Gray grew pale as he watched her. He was puzzled and anxious. 3233Neither of his friends dared to say anything to him. She seemed to 3234them to be absolutely incompetent. They were horribly disappointed. 3235 3236Yet they felt that the true test of any Juliet is the balcony scene of 3237the second act. They waited for that. If she failed there, there was 3238nothing in her. 3239 3240She looked charming as she came out in the moonlight. That could not 3241be denied. But the staginess of her acting was unbearable, and grew 3242worse as she went on. Her gestures became absurdly artificial. She 3243overemphasized everything that she had to say. The beautiful passage-- 3244 3245 Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face, 3246 Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek 3247 For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night-- 3248 3249was declaimed with the painful precision of a schoolgirl who has been 3250taught to recite by some second-rate professor of elocution. When she 3251leaned over the balcony and came to those wonderful lines-- 3252 3253 Although I joy in thee, 3254 I have no joy of this contract to-night: 3255 It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden; 3256 Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be 3257 Ere one can say, "It lightens." Sweet, good-night! 3258 This bud of love by summer's ripening breath 3259 May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet-- 3260 3261she spoke the words as though they conveyed no meaning to her. It was 3262not nervousness. Indeed, so far from being nervous, she was absolutely 3263self-contained. It was simply bad art. She was a complete failure. 3264 3265Even the common uneducated audience of the pit and gallery lost their 3266interest in the play. They got restless, and began to talk loudly and 3267to whistle. The Jew manager, who was standing at the back of the 3268dress-circle, stamped and swore with rage. The only person unmoved was 3269the girl herself. 3270 3271When the second act was over, there came a storm of hisses, and Lord 3272Henry got up from his chair and put on his coat. "She is quite 3273beautiful, Dorian," he said, "but she can't act. Let us go." 3274 3275"I am going to see the play through," answered the lad, in a hard 3276bitter voice. "I am awfully sorry that I have made you waste an 3277evening, Harry. I apologize to you both." 3278 3279"My dear Dorian, I should think Miss Vane was ill," interrupted 3280Hallward. "We will come some other night." 3281 3282"I wish she were ill," he rejoined. "But she seems to me to be simply 3283callous and cold. She has entirely altered. Last night she was a 3284great artist. This evening she is merely a commonplace mediocre 3285actress." 3286 3287"Don't talk like that about any one you love, Dorian. Love is a more 3288wonderful thing than art." 3289 3290"They are both simply forms of imitation," remarked Lord Henry. "But 3291do let us go. Dorian, you must not stay here any longer. It is not 3292good for one's morals to see bad acting. Besides, I don't suppose you 3293will want your wife to act, so what does it matter if she plays Juliet 3294like a wooden doll? She is very lovely, and if she knows as little 3295about life as she does about acting, she will be a delightful 3296experience. There are only two kinds of people who are really 3297fascinating--people who know absolutely everything, and people who know 3298absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear boy, don't look so tragic! 3299The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is 3300unbecoming. Come to the club with Basil and myself. We will smoke 3301cigarettes and drink to the beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful. 3302What more can you want?" 3303 3304"Go away, Harry," cried the lad. "I want to be alone. Basil, you must 3305go. Ah! can't you see that my heart is breaking?" The hot tears came 3306to his eyes. His lips trembled, and rushing to the back of the box, he 3307leaned up against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. 3308 3309"Let us go, Basil," said Lord Henry with a strange tenderness in his 3310voice, and the two young men passed out together. 3311 3312A few moments afterwards the footlights flared up and the curtain rose 3313on the third act. Dorian Gray went back to his seat. He looked pale, 3314and proud, and indifferent. The play dragged on, and seemed 3315interminable. Half of the audience went out, tramping in heavy boots 3316and laughing. The whole thing was a _fiasco_. The last act was played 3317to almost empty benches. The curtain went down on a titter and some 3318groans. 3319 3320As soon as it was over, Dorian Gray rushed behind the scenes into the 3321greenroom. The girl was standing there alone, with a look of triumph 3322on her face. Her eyes were lit with an exquisite fire. There was a 3323radiance about her. Her parted lips were smiling over some secret of 3324their own. 3325 3326When he entered, she looked at him, and an expression of infinite joy 3327came over her. "How badly I acted to-night, Dorian!" she cried. 3328 3329"Horribly!" he answered, gazing at her in amazement. "Horribly! It 3330was dreadful. Are you ill? You have no idea what it was. You have no 3331idea what I suffered." 3332 3333The girl smiled. "Dorian," she answered, lingering over his name with 3334long-drawn music in her voice, as though it were sweeter than honey to 3335the red petals of her mouth. "Dorian, you should have understood. But 3336you understand now, don't you?" 3337 3338"Understand what?" he asked, angrily. 3339 3340"Why I was so bad to-night. Why I shall always be bad. Why I shall 3341never act well again." 3342 3343He shrugged his shoulders. "You are ill, I suppose. When you are ill 3344you shouldn't act. You make yourself ridiculous. My friends were 3345bored. I was bored." 3346 3347She seemed not to listen to him. She was transfigured with joy. An 3348ecstasy of happiness dominated her. 3349 3350"Dorian, Dorian," she cried, "before I knew you, acting was the one 3351reality of my life. It was only in the theatre that I lived. I 3352thought that it was all true. I was Rosalind one night and Portia the 3353other. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and the sorrows of Cordelia 3354were mine also. I believed in everything. The common people who acted 3355with me seemed to me to be godlike. The painted scenes were my world. 3356I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came--oh, my 3357beautiful love!--and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what 3358reality really is. To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw 3359through the hollowness, the sham, the silliness of the empty pageant in 3360which I had always played. To-night, for the first time, I became 3361conscious that the Romeo was hideous, and old, and painted, that the 3362moonlight in the orchard was false, that the scenery was vulgar, and 3363that the words I had to speak were unreal, were not my words, were not 3364what I wanted to say. You had brought me something higher, something 3365of which all art is but a reflection. You had made me understand what 3366love really is. My love! My love! Prince Charming! Prince of life! 3367I have grown sick of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever 3368be. What have I to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on 3369to-night, I could not understand how it was that everything had gone 3370from me. I thought that I was going to be wonderful. I found that I 3371could do nothing. Suddenly it dawned on my soul what it all meant. 3372The knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard them hissing, and I smiled. 3373What could they know of love such as ours? Take me away, Dorian--take 3374me away with you, where we can be quite alone. I hate the stage. I 3375might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but I cannot mimic one that 3376burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, you understand now what it 3377signifies? Even if I could do it, it would be profanation for me to 3378play at being in love. You have made me see that." 3379 3380He flung himself down on the sofa and turned away his face. "You have 3381killed my love," he muttered. 3382 3383She looked at him in wonder and laughed. He made no answer. She came 3384across to him, and with her little fingers stroked his hair. She knelt 3385down and pressed his hands to her lips. He drew them away, and a 3386shudder ran through him. 3387 3388Then he leaped up and went to the door. "Yes," he cried, "you have 3389killed my love. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don't even 3390stir my curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because 3391you were marvellous, because you had genius and intellect, because you 3392realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and substance to the 3393shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are shallow and 3394stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been! 3395You are nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never 3396think of you. I will never mention your name. You don't know what you 3397were to me, once. Why, once ... Oh, I can't bear to think of it! I 3398wish I had never laid eyes upon you! You have spoiled the romance of 3399my life. How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your art! 3400Without your art, you are nothing. I would have made you famous, 3401splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped you, and you 3402would have borne my name. What are you now? A third-rate actress with 3403a pretty face." 3404 3405The girl grew white, and trembled. She clenched her hands together, 3406and her voice seemed to catch in her throat. "You are not serious, 3407Dorian?" she murmured. "You are acting." 3408 3409"Acting! I leave that to you. You do it so well," he answered 3410bitterly. 3411 3412She rose from her knees and, with a piteous expression of pain in her 3413face, came across the room to him. She put her hand upon his arm and 3414looked into his eyes. He thrust her back. "Don't touch me!" he cried. 3415 3416A low moan broke from her, and she flung herself at his feet and lay 3417there like a trampled flower. "Dorian, Dorian, don't leave me!" she 3418whispered. "I am so sorry I didn't act well. I was thinking of you 3419all the time. But I will try--indeed, I will try. It came so suddenly 3420across me, my love for you. I think I should never have known it if 3421you had not kissed me--if we had not kissed each other. Kiss me again, 3422my love. Don't go away from me. I couldn't bear it. Oh! don't go 3423away from me. My brother ... No; never mind. He didn't mean it. He 3424was in jest.... But you, oh! can't you forgive me for to-night? I will 3425work so hard and try to improve. Don't be cruel to me, because I love 3426you better than anything in the world. After all, it is only once that 3427I have not pleased you. But you are quite right, Dorian. I should 3428have shown myself more of an artist. It was foolish of me, and yet I 3429couldn't help it. Oh, don't leave me, don't leave me." A fit of 3430passionate sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a 3431wounded thing, and Dorian Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at 3432her, and his chiselled lips curled in exquisite disdain. There is 3433always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has 3434ceased to love. Sibyl Vane seemed to him to be absurdly melodramatic. 3435Her tears and sobs annoyed him. 3436 3437"I am going," he said at last in his calm clear voice. "I don't wish 3438to be unkind, but I can't see you again. You have disappointed me." 3439 3440She wept silently, and made no answer, but crept nearer. Her little 3441hands stretched blindly out, and appeared to be seeking for him. He 3442turned on his heel and left the room. In a few moments he was out of 3443the theatre. 3444 3445Where he went to he hardly knew. He remembered wandering through dimly 3446lit streets, past gaunt, black-shadowed archways and evil-looking 3447houses. Women with hoarse voices and harsh laughter had called after 3448him. Drunkards had reeled by, cursing and chattering to themselves 3449like monstrous apes. He had seen grotesque children huddled upon 3450door-steps, and heard shrieks and oaths from gloomy courts. 3451 3452As the dawn was just breaking, he found himself close to Covent Garden. 3453The darkness lifted, and, flushed with faint fires, the sky hollowed 3454itself into a perfect pearl. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies 3455rumbled slowly down the polished empty street. The air was heavy with 3456the perfume of the flowers, and their beauty seemed to bring him an 3457anodyne for his pain. He followed into the market and watched the men 3458unloading their waggons. A white-smocked carter offered him some 3459cherries. He thanked him, wondered why he refused to accept any money 3460for them, and began to eat them listlessly. They had been plucked at 3461midnight, and the coldness of the moon had entered into them. A long 3462line of boys carrying crates of striped tulips, and of yellow and red 3463roses, defiled in front of him, threading their way through the huge, 3464jade-green piles of vegetables. Under the portico, with its grey, 3465sun-bleached pillars, loitered a troop of draggled bareheaded girls, 3466waiting for the auction to be over. Others crowded round the swinging 3467doors of the coffee-house in the piazza. The heavy cart-horses slipped 3468and stamped upon the rough stones, shaking their bells and trappings. 3469Some of the drivers were lying asleep on a pile of sacks. Iris-necked 3470and pink-footed, the pigeons ran about picking up seeds. 3471 3472After a little while, he hailed a hansom and drove home. For a few 3473moments he loitered upon the doorstep, looking round at the silent 3474square, with its blank, close-shuttered windows and its staring blinds. 3475The sky was pure opal now, and the roofs of the houses glistened like 3476silver against it. From some chimney opposite a thin wreath of smoke 3477was rising. It curled, a violet riband, through the nacre-coloured air. 3478 3479In the huge gilt Venetian lantern, spoil of some Doge's barge, that 3480hung from the ceiling of the great, oak-panelled hall of entrance, 3481lights were still burning from three flickering jets: thin blue petals 3482of flame they seemed, rimmed with white fire. He turned them out and, 3483having thrown his hat and cape on the table, passed through the library 3484towards the door of his bedroom, a large octagonal chamber on the 3485ground floor that, in his new-born feeling for luxury, he had just had 3486decorated for himself and hung with some curious Renaissance tapestries 3487that had been discovered stored in a disused attic at Selby Royal. As 3488he was turning the handle of the door, his eye fell upon the portrait 3489Basil Hallward had painted of him. He started back as if in surprise. 3490Then he went on into his own room, looking somewhat puzzled. After he 3491had taken the button-hole out of his coat, he seemed to hesitate. 3492Finally, he came back, went over to the picture, and examined it. In 3493the dim arrested light that struggled through the cream-coloured silk 3494blinds, the face appeared to him to be a little changed. The 3495expression looked different. One would have said that there was a 3496touch of cruelty in the mouth. It was certainly strange. 3497 3498He turned round and, walking to the window, drew up the blind. The 3499bright dawn flooded the room and swept the fantastic shadows into dusky 3500corners, where they lay shuddering. But the strange expression that he 3501had noticed in the face of the portrait seemed to linger there, to be 3502more intensified even. The quivering ardent sunlight showed him the 3503lines of cruelty round the mouth as clearly as if he had been looking 3504into a mirror after he had done some dreadful thing. 3505 3506He winced and, taking up from the table an oval glass framed in ivory 3507Cupids, one of Lord Henry's many presents to him, glanced hurriedly 3508into its polished depths. No line like that warped his red lips. What 3509did it mean? 3510 3511He rubbed his eyes, and came close to the picture, and examined it 3512again. There were no signs of any change when he looked into the 3513actual painting, and yet there was no doubt that the whole expression 3514had altered. It was not a mere fancy of his own. The thing was 3515horribly apparent. 3516 3517He threw himself into a chair and began to think. Suddenly there 3518flashed across his mind what he had said in Basil Hallward's studio the 3519day the picture had been finished. Yes, he remembered it perfectly. 3520He had uttered a mad wish that he himself might remain young, and the 3521portrait grow old; that his own beauty might be untarnished, and the 3522face on the canvas bear the burden of his passions and his sins; that 3523the painted image might be seared with the lines of suffering and 3524thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and loveliness 3525of his then just conscious boyhood. Surely his wish had not been 3526fulfilled? Such things were impossible. It seemed monstrous even to 3527think of them. And, yet, there was the picture before him, with the 3528touch of cruelty in the mouth. 3529 3530Cruelty! Had he been cruel? It was the girl's fault, not his. He had 3531dreamed of her as a great artist, had given his love to her because he 3532had thought her great. Then she had disappointed him. She had been 3533shallow and unworthy. And, yet, a feeling of infinite regret came over 3534him, as he thought of her lying at his feet sobbing like a little 3535child. He remembered with what callousness he had watched her. Why 3536had he been made like that? Why had such a soul been given to him? 3537But he had suffered also. During the three terrible hours that the 3538play had lasted, he had lived centuries of pain, aeon upon aeon of 3539torture. His life was well worth hers. She had marred him for a 3540moment, if he had wounded her for an age. Besides, women were better 3541suited to bear sorrow than men. They lived on their emotions. They 3542only thought of their emotions. When they took lovers, it was merely 3543to have some one with whom they could have scenes. Lord Henry had told 3544him that, and Lord Henry knew what women were. Why should he trouble 3545about Sibyl Vane? She was nothing to him now. 3546 3547But the picture? What was he to say of that? It held the secret of 3548his life, and told his story. It had taught him to love his own 3549beauty. Would it teach him to loathe his own soul? Would he ever look 3550at it again? 3551 3552No; it was merely an illusion wrought on the troubled senses. The 3553horrible night that he had passed had left phantoms behind it. 3554Suddenly there had fallen upon his brain that tiny scarlet speck that 3555makes men mad. The picture had not changed. It was folly to think so. 3556 3557Yet it was watching him, with its beautiful marred face and its cruel 3558smile. Its bright hair gleamed in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes 3559met his own. A sense of infinite pity, not for himself, but for the 3560painted image of himself, came over him. It had altered already, and 3561would alter more. Its gold would wither into grey. Its red and white 3562roses would die. For every sin that he committed, a stain would fleck 3563and wreck its fairness. But he would not sin. The picture, changed or 3564unchanged, would be to him the visible emblem of conscience. He would 3565resist temptation. He would not see Lord Henry any more--would not, at 3566any rate, listen to those subtle poisonous theories that in Basil 3567Hallward's garden had first stirred within him the passion for 3568impossible things. He would go back to Sibyl Vane, make her amends, 3569marry her, try to love her again. Yes, it was his duty to do so. She 3570must have suffered more than he had. Poor child! He had been selfish 3571and cruel to her. The fascination that she had exercised over him 3572would return. They would be happy together. His life with her would 3573be beautiful and pure. 3574 3575He got up from his chair and drew a large screen right in front of the 3576portrait, shuddering as he glanced at it. "How horrible!" he murmured 3577to himself, and he walked across to the window and opened it. When he 3578stepped out on to the grass, he drew a deep breath. The fresh morning 3579air seemed to drive away all his sombre passions. He thought only of 3580Sibyl. A faint echo of his love came back to him. He repeated her 3581name over and over again. The birds that were singing in the 3582dew-drenched garden seemed to be telling the flowers about her. 3583 3584 3585 3586CHAPTER 8 3587 3588It was long past noon when he awoke. His valet had crept several times 3589on tiptoe into the room to see if he was stirring, and had wondered 3590what made his young master sleep so late. Finally his bell sounded, 3591and Victor came in softly with a cup of tea, and a pile of letters, on 3592a small tray of old Sevres china, and drew back the olive-satin 3593curtains, with their shimmering blue lining, that hung in front of the 3594three tall windows. 3595 3596"Monsieur has well slept this morning," he said, smiling. 3597 3598"What o'clock is it, Victor?" asked Dorian Gray drowsily. 3599 3600"One hour and a quarter, Monsieur." 3601 3602How late it was! He sat up, and having sipped some tea, turned over 3603his letters. One of them was from Lord Henry, and had been brought by 3604hand that morning. He hesitated for a moment, and then put it aside. 3605The others he opened listlessly. They contained the usual collection 3606of cards, invitations to dinner, tickets for private views, programmes 3607of charity concerts, and the like that are showered on fashionable 3608young men every morning during the season. There was a rather heavy 3609bill for a chased silver Louis-Quinze toilet-set that he had not yet 3610had the courage to send on to his guardians, who were extremely 3611old-fashioned people and did not realize that we live in an age when 3612unnecessary things are our only necessities; and there were several 3613very courteously worded communications from Jermyn Street money-lenders 3614offering to advance any sum of money at a moment's notice and at the 3615most reasonable rates of interest. 3616 3617After about ten minutes he got up, and throwing on an elaborate 3618dressing-gown of silk-embroidered cashmere wool, passed into the 3619onyx-paved bathroom. The cool water refreshed him after his long 3620sleep. He seemed to have forgotten all that he had gone through. A 3621dim sense of having taken part in some strange tragedy came to him once 3622or twice, but there was the unreality of a dream about it. 3623 3624As soon as he was dressed, he went into the library and sat down to a 3625light French breakfast that had been laid out for him on a small round 3626table close to the open window. It was an exquisite day. The warm air 3627seemed laden with spices. A bee flew in and buzzed round the 3628blue-dragon bowl that, filled with sulphur-yellow roses, stood before 3629him. He felt perfectly happy. 3630 3631Suddenly his eye fell on the screen that he had placed in front of the 3632portrait, and he started. 3633 3634"Too cold for Monsieur?" asked his valet, putting an omelette on the 3635table. "I shut the window?" 3636 3637Dorian shook his head. "I am not cold," he murmured. 3638 3639Was it all true? Had the portrait really changed? Or had it been 3640simply his own imagination that had made him see a look of evil where 3641there had been a look of joy? Surely a painted canvas could not alter? 3642The thing was absurd. It would serve as a tale to tell Basil some day. 3643It would make him smile. 3644 3645And, yet, how vivid was his recollection of the whole thing! First in 3646the dim twilight, and then in the bright dawn, he had seen the touch of 3647cruelty round the warped lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the 3648room. He knew that when he was alone he would have to examine the 3649portrait. He was afraid of certainty. When the coffee and cigarettes 3650had been brought and the man turned to go, he felt a wild desire to 3651tell him to remain. As the door was closing behind him, he called him 3652back. The man stood waiting for his orders. Dorian looked at him for 3653a moment. "I am not at home to any one, Victor," he said with a sigh. 3654The man bowed and retired. 3655 3656Then he rose from the table, lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on 3657a luxuriously cushioned couch that stood facing the screen. The screen 3658was an old one, of gilt Spanish leather, stamped and wrought with a 3659rather florid Louis-Quatorze pattern. He scanned it curiously, 3660wondering if ever before it had concealed the secret of a man's life. 3661 3662Should he move it aside, after all? Why not let it stay there? What 3663was the use of knowing? If the thing was true, it was terrible. If it 3664was not true, why trouble about it? But what if, by some fate or 3665deadlier chance, eyes other than his spied behind and saw the horrible 3666change? What should he do if Basil Hallward came and asked to look at 3667his own picture? Basil would be sure to do that. No; the thing had to 3668be examined, and at once. Anything would be better than this dreadful 3669state of doubt. 3670 3671He got up and locked both doors. At least he would be alone when he 3672looked upon the mask of his shame. Then he drew the screen aside and 3673saw himself face to face. It was perfectly true. The portrait had 3674altered. 3675 3676As he often remembered afterwards, and always with no small wonder, he 3677found himself at first gazing at the portrait with a feeling of almost 3678scientific interest. That such a change should have taken place was 3679incredible to him. And yet it was a fact. Was there some subtle 3680affinity between the chemical atoms that shaped themselves into form 3681and colour on the canvas and the soul that was within him? Could it be 3682that what that soul thought, they realized?--that what it dreamed, they 3683made true? Or was there some other, more terrible reason? He 3684shuddered, and felt afraid, and, going back to the couch, lay there, 3685gazing at the picture in sickened horror. 3686 3687One thing, however, he felt that it had done for him. It had made him 3688conscious how unjust, how cruel, he had been to Sibyl Vane. It was not 3689too late to make reparation for that. She could still be his wife. 3690His unreal and selfish love would yield to some higher influence, would 3691be transformed into some nobler passion, and the portrait that Basil 3692Hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him through life, would 3693be to him what holiness is to some, and conscience to others, and the 3694fear of God to us all. There were opiates for remorse, drugs that 3695could lull the moral sense to sleep. But here was a visible symbol of 3696the degradation of sin. Here was an ever-present sign of the ruin men 3697brought upon their souls. 3698 3699Three o'clock struck, and four, and the half-hour rang its double 3700chime, but Dorian Gray did not stir. He was trying to gather up the 3701scarlet threads of life and to weave them into a pattern; to find his 3702way through the sanguine labyrinth of passion through which he was 3703wandering. He did not know what to do, or what to think. Finally, he 3704went over to the table and wrote a passionate letter to the girl he had 3705loved, imploring her forgiveness and accusing himself of madness. He 3706covered page after page with wild words of sorrow and wilder words of 3707pain. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we 3708feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, 3709not the priest, that gives us absolution. When Dorian had finished the 3710letter, he felt that he had been forgiven. 3711 3712Suddenly there came a knock to the door, and he heard Lord Henry's 3713voice outside. "My dear boy, I must see you. Let me in at once. I 3714can't bear your shutting yourself up like this." 3715 3716He made no answer at first, but remained quite still. The knocking 3717still continued and grew louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry 3718in, and to explain to him the new life he was going to lead, to quarrel 3719with him if it became necessary to quarrel, to part if parting was 3720inevitable. He jumped up, drew the screen hastily across the picture, 3721and unlocked the door. 3722 3723"I am so sorry for it all, Dorian," said Lord Henry as he entered. 3724"But you must not think too much about it." 3725 3726"Do you mean about Sibyl Vane?" asked the lad. 3727 3728"Yes, of course," answered Lord Henry, sinking into a chair and slowly 3729pulling off his yellow gloves. "It is dreadful, from one point of 3730view, but it was not your fault. Tell me, did you go behind and see 3731her, after the play was over?" 3732 3733"Yes." 3734 3735"I felt sure you had. Did you make a scene with her?" 3736 3737"I was brutal, Harry--perfectly brutal. But it is all right now. I am 3738not sorry for anything that has happened. It has taught me to know 3739myself better." 3740 3741"Ah, Dorian, I am so glad you take it in that way! I was afraid I 3742would find you plunged in remorse and tearing that nice curly hair of 3743yours." 3744 3745"I have got through all that," said Dorian, shaking his head and 3746smiling. "I am perfectly happy now. I know what conscience is, to 3747begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest 3748thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more--at least not before 3749me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being 3750hideous." 3751 3752"A very charming artistic basis for ethics, Dorian! I congratulate you 3753on it. But how are you going to begin?" 3754 3755"By marrying Sibyl Vane." 3756 3757"Marrying Sibyl Vane!" cried Lord Henry, standing up and looking at him 3758in perplexed amazement. "But, my dear Dorian--" 3759 3760"Yes, Harry, I know what you are going to say. Something dreadful 3761about marriage. Don't say it. Don't ever say things of that kind to 3762me again. Two days ago I asked Sibyl to marry me. I am not going to 3763break my word to her. She is to be my wife." 3764 3765"Your wife! Dorian! ... Didn't you get my letter? I wrote to you this 3766morning, and sent the note down by my own man." 3767 3768"Your letter? Oh, yes, I remember. I have not read it yet, Harry. I 3769was afraid there might be something in it that I wouldn't like. You 3770cut life to pieces with your epigrams." 3771 3772"You know nothing then?" 3773 3774"What do you mean?" 3775 3776Lord Henry walked across the room, and sitting down by Dorian Gray, 3777took both his hands in his own and held them tightly. "Dorian," he 3778said, "my letter--don't be frightened--was to tell you that Sibyl Vane 3779is dead." 3780 3781A cry of pain broke from the lad's lips, and he leaped to his feet, 3782tearing his hands away from Lord Henry's grasp. "Dead! Sibyl dead! 3783It is not true! It is a horrible lie! How dare you say it?" 3784 3785"It is quite true, Dorian," said Lord Henry, gravely. "It is in all 3786the morning papers. I wrote down to you to ask you not to see any one 3787till I came. There will have to be an inquest, of course, and you must 3788not be mixed up in it. Things like that make a man fashionable in 3789Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced. Here, one should never 3790make one's _debut_ with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an 3791interest to one's old age. I suppose they don't know your name at the 3792theatre? If they don't, it is all right. Did any one see you going 3793round to her room? That is an important point." 3794 3795Dorian did not answer for a few moments. He was dazed with horror. 3796Finally he stammered, in a stifled voice, "Harry, did you say an 3797inquest? What did you mean by that? Did Sibyl--? Oh, Harry, I can't 3798bear it! But be quick. Tell me everything at once." 3799 3800"I have no doubt it was not an accident, Dorian, though it must be put 3801in that way to the public. It seems that as she was leaving the 3802theatre with her mother, about half-past twelve or so, she said she had 3803forgotten something upstairs. They waited some time for her, but she 3804did not come down again. They ultimately found her lying dead on the 3805floor of her dressing-room. She had swallowed something by mistake, 3806some dreadful thing they use at theatres. I don't know what it was, 3807but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it. I should fancy it 3808was prussic acid, as she seems to have died instantaneously." 3809 3810"Harry, Harry, it is terrible!" cried the lad. 3811 3812"Yes; it is very tragic, of course, but you must not get yourself mixed 3813up in it. I see by _The Standard_ that she was seventeen. I should have 3814thought she was almost younger than that. She looked such a child, and 3815seemed to know so little about acting. Dorian, you mustn't let this 3816thing get on your nerves. You must come and dine with me, and 3817afterwards we will look in at the opera. It is a Patti night, and 3818everybody will be there. You can come to my sister's box. She has got 3819some smart women with her." 3820 3821"So I have murdered Sibyl Vane," said Dorian Gray, half to himself, 3822"murdered her as surely as if I had cut her little throat with a knife. 3823Yet the roses are not less lovely for all that. The birds sing just as 3824happily in my garden. And to-night I am to dine with you, and then go 3825on to the opera, and sup somewhere, I suppose, afterwards. How 3826extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I had read all this in a book, 3827Harry, I think I would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it has 3828happened actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears. 3829Here is the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my 3830life. Strange, that my first passionate love-letter should have been 3831addressed to a dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent 3832people we call the dead? Sibyl! Can she feel, or know, or listen? 3833Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It seems years ago to me now. She 3834was everything to me. Then came that dreadful night--was it really 3835only last night?--when she played so badly, and my heart almost broke. 3836She explained it all to me. It was terribly pathetic. But I was not 3837moved a bit. I thought her shallow. Suddenly something happened that 3838made me afraid. I can't tell you what it was, but it was terrible. I 3839said I would go back to her. I felt I had done wrong. And now she is 3840dead. My God! My God! Harry, what shall I do? You don't know the 3841danger I am in, and there is nothing to keep me straight. She would 3842have done that for me. She had no right to kill herself. It was 3843selfish of her." 3844 3845"My dear Dorian," answered Lord Henry, taking a cigarette from his case 3846and producing a gold-latten matchbox, "the only way a woman can ever 3847reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible 3848interest in life. If you had married this girl, you would have been 3849wretched. Of course, you would have treated her kindly. One can 3850always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. But she would 3851have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And 3852when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes 3853dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman's 3854husband has to pay for. I say nothing about the social mistake, which 3855would have been abject--which, of course, I would not have allowed--but 3856I assure you that in any case the whole thing would have been an 3857absolute failure." 3858 3859"I suppose it would," muttered the lad, walking up and down the room 3860and looking horribly pale. "But I thought it was my duty. It is not 3861my fault that this terrible tragedy has prevented my doing what was 3862right. I remember your saying once that there is a fatality about good 3863resolutions--that they are always made too late. Mine certainly were." 3864 3865"Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific 3866laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely _nil_. 3867They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions 3868that have a certain charm for the weak. That is all that can be said 3869for them. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they 3870have no account." 3871 3872"Harry," cried Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down beside him, 3873"why is it that I cannot feel this tragedy as much as I want to? I 3874don't think I am heartless. Do you?" 3875 3876"You have done too many foolish things during the last fortnight to be 3877entitled to give yourself that name, Dorian," answered Lord Henry with 3878his sweet melancholy smile. 3879 3880The lad frowned. "I don't like that explanation, Harry," he rejoined, 3881"but I am glad you don't think I am heartless. I am nothing of the 3882kind. I know I am not. And yet I must admit that this thing that has 3883happened does not affect me as it should. It seems to me to be simply 3884like a wonderful ending to a wonderful play. It has all the terrible 3885beauty of a Greek tragedy, a tragedy in which I took a great part, but 3886by which I have not been wounded." 3887 3888"It is an interesting question," said Lord Henry, who found an 3889exquisite pleasure in playing on the lad's unconscious egotism, "an 3890extremely interesting question. I fancy that the true explanation is 3891this: It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such 3892an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their 3893absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack 3894of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects us. They give us 3895an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that. 3896Sometimes, however, a tragedy that possesses artistic elements of 3897beauty crosses our lives. If these elements of beauty are real, the 3898whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly 3899we find that we are no longer the actors, but the spectators of the 3900play. Or rather we are both. We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder 3901of the spectacle enthralls us. In the present case, what is it that 3902has really happened? Some one has killed herself for love of you. I 3903wish that I had ever had such an experience. It would have made me in 3904love with love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored 3905me--there have not been very many, but there have been some--have 3906always insisted on living on, long after I had ceased to care for them, 3907or they to care for me. They have become stout and tedious, and when I 3908meet them, they go in at once for reminiscences. That awful memory of 3909woman! What a fearful thing it is! And what an utter intellectual 3910stagnation it reveals! One should absorb the colour of life, but one 3911should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar." 3912 3913"I must sow poppies in my garden," sighed Dorian. 3914 3915"There is no necessity," rejoined his companion. "Life has always 3916poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I once 3917wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic 3918mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did 3919die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to 3920sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment. 3921It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well--would you believe 3922it?--a week ago, at Lady Hampshire's, I found myself seated at dinner 3923next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole 3924thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had 3925buried my romance in a bed of asphodel. She dragged it out again and 3926assured me that I had spoiled her life. I am bound to state that she 3927ate an enormous dinner, so I did not feel any anxiety. But what a lack 3928of taste she showed! The one charm of the past is that it is the past. 3929But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a 3930sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over, 3931they propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every 3932comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in 3933a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of 3934art. You are more fortunate than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not 3935one of the women I have known would have done for me what Sibyl Vane 3936did for you. Ordinary women always console themselves. Some of them 3937do it by going in for sentimental colours. Never trust a woman who 3938wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five who 3939is fond of pink ribbons. It always means that they have a history. 3940Others find a great consolation in suddenly discovering the good 3941qualities of their husbands. They flaunt their conjugal felicity in 3942one's face, as if it were the most fascinating of sins. Religion 3943consoles some. Its mysteries have all the charm of a flirtation, a 3944woman once told me, and I can quite understand it. Besides, nothing 3945makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes 3946egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the consolations 3947that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most 3948important one." 3949 3950"What is that, Harry?" said the lad listlessly. 3951 3952"Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking some one else's admirer when one 3953loses one's own. In good society that always whitewashes a woman. But 3954really, Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have been from all the 3955women one meets! There is something to me quite beautiful about her 3956death. I am glad I am living in a century when such wonders happen. 3957They make one believe in the reality of the things we all play with, 3958such as romance, passion, and love." 3959 3960"I was terribly cruel to her. You forget that." 3961 3962"I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more 3963than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We 3964have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their 3965masters, all the same. They love being dominated. I am sure you were 3966splendid. I have never seen you really and absolutely angry, but I can 3967fancy how delightful you looked. And, after all, you said something to 3968me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time to be merely 3969fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it holds the key 3970to everything." 3971 3972"What was that, Harry?" 3973 3974"You said to me that Sibyl Vane represented to you all the heroines of 3975romance--that she was Desdemona one night, and Ophelia the other; that 3976if she died as Juliet, she came to life as Imogen." 3977 3978"She will never come to life again now," muttered the lad, burying his 3979face in his hands. 3980 3981"No, she will never come to life. She has played her last part. But 3982you must think of that lonely death in the tawdry dressing-room simply 3983as a strange lurid fragment from some Jacobean tragedy, as a wonderful 3984scene from Webster, or Ford, or Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really 3985lived, and so she has never really died. To you at least she was 3986always a dream, a phantom that flitted through Shakespeare's plays and 3987left them lovelier for its presence, a reed through which Shakespeare's 3988music sounded richer and more full of joy. The moment she touched 3989actual life, she marred it, and it marred her, and so she passed away. 3990Mourn for Ophelia, if you like. Put ashes on your head because 3991Cordelia was strangled. Cry out against Heaven because the daughter of 3992Brabantio died. But don't waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was 3993less real than they are." 3994 3995There was a silence. The evening darkened in the room. Noiselessly, 3996and with silver feet, the shadows crept in from the garden. The 3997colours faded wearily out of things. 3998 3999After some time Dorian Gray looked up. "You have explained me to 4000myself, Harry," he murmured with something of a sigh of relief. "I 4001felt all that you have said, but somehow I was afraid of it, and I 4002could not express it to myself. How well you know me! But we will not 4003talk again of what has happened. It has been a marvellous experience. 4004That is all. I wonder if life has still in store for me anything as 4005marvellous." 4006 4007"Life has everything in store for you, Dorian. There is nothing that 4008you, with your extraordinary good looks, will not be able to do." 4009 4010"But suppose, Harry, I became haggard, and old, and wrinkled? What 4011then?" 4012 4013"Ah, then," said Lord Henry, rising to go, "then, my dear Dorian, you 4014would have to fight for your victories. As it is, they are brought to 4015you. No, you must keep your good looks. We live in an age that reads 4016too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be beautiful. We 4017cannot spare you. And now you had better dress and drive down to the 4018club. We are rather late, as it is." 4019 4020"I think I shall join you at the opera, Harry. I feel too tired to eat 4021anything. What is the number of your sister's box?" 4022 4023"Twenty-seven, I believe. It is on the grand tier. You will see her 4024name on the door. But I am sorry you won't come and dine." 4025 4026"I don't feel up to it," said Dorian listlessly. "But I am awfully 4027obliged to you for all that you have said to me. You are certainly my 4028best friend. No one has ever understood me as you have." 4029 4030"We are only at the beginning of our friendship, Dorian," answered Lord 4031Henry, shaking him by the hand. "Good-bye. I shall see you before 4032nine-thirty, I hope. Remember, Patti is singing." 4033 4034As he closed the door behind him, Dorian Gray touched the bell, and in 4035a few minutes Victor appeared with the lamps and drew the blinds down. 4036He waited impatiently for him to go. The man seemed to take an 4037interminable time over everything. 4038 4039As soon as he had left, he rushed to the screen and drew it back. No; 4040there was no further change in the picture. It had received the news 4041of Sibyl Vane's death before he had known of it himself. It was 4042conscious of the events of life as they occurred. The vicious cruelty 4043that marred the fine lines of the mouth had, no doubt, appeared at the 4044very moment that the girl had drunk the poison, whatever it was. Or 4045was it indifferent to results? Did it merely take cognizance of what 4046passed within the soul? He wondered, and hoped that some day he would 4047see the change taking place before his very eyes, shuddering as he 4048hoped it. 4049 4050Poor Sibyl! What a romance it had all been! She had often mimicked 4051death on the stage. Then Death himself had touched her and taken her 4052with him. How had she played that dreadful last scene? Had she cursed 4053him, as she died? No; she had died for love of him, and love would 4054always be a sacrament to him now. She had atoned for everything by the 4055sacrifice she had made of her life. He would not think any more of 4056what she had made him go through, on that horrible night at the 4057theatre. When he thought of her, it would be as a wonderful tragic 4058figure sent on to the world's stage to show the supreme reality of 4059love. A wonderful tragic figure? Tears came to his eyes as he 4060remembered her childlike look, and winsome fanciful ways, and shy 4061tremulous grace. He brushed them away hastily and looked again at the 4062picture. 4063 4064He felt that the time had really come for making his choice. Or had 4065his choice already been made? Yes, life had decided that for 4066him--life, and his own infinite curiosity about life. Eternal youth, 4067infinite passion, pleasures subtle and secret, wild joys and wilder 4068sins--he was to have all these things. The portrait was to bear the 4069burden of his shame: that was all. 4070 4071A feeling of pain crept over him as he thought of the desecration that 4072was in store for the fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery 4073of Narcissus, he had kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips 4074that now smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning he had sat 4075before the portrait wondering at its beauty, almost enamoured of it, as 4076it seemed to him at times. Was it to alter now with every mood to 4077which he yielded? Was it to become a monstrous and loathsome thing, to 4078be hidden away in a locked room, to be shut out from the sunlight that 4079had so often touched to brighter gold the waving wonder of its hair? 4080The pity of it! the pity of it! 4081 4082For a moment, he thought of praying that the horrible sympathy that 4083existed between him and the picture might cease. It had changed in 4084answer to a prayer; perhaps in answer to a prayer it might remain 4085unchanged. And yet, who, that knew anything about life, would 4086surrender the chance of remaining always young, however fantastic that 4087chance might be, or with what fateful consequences it might be fraught? 4088Besides, was it really under his control? Had it indeed been prayer 4089that had produced the substitution? Might there not be some curious 4090scientific reason for it all? If thought could exercise its influence 4091upon a living organism, might not thought exercise an influence upon 4092dead and inorganic things? Nay, without thought or conscious desire, 4093might not things external to ourselves vibrate in unison with our moods 4094and passions, atom calling to atom in secret love or strange affinity? 4095But the reason was of no importance. He would never again tempt by a 4096prayer any terrible power. If the picture was to alter, it was to 4097alter. That was all. Why inquire too closely into it? 4098 4099For there would be a real pleasure in watching it. He would be able to 4100follow his mind into its secret places. This portrait would be to him 4101the most magical of mirrors. As it had revealed to him his own body, 4102so it would reveal to him his own soul. And when winter came upon it, 4103he would still be standing where spring trembles on the verge of 4104summer. When the blood crept from its face, and left behind a pallid 4105mask of chalk with leaden eyes, he would keep the glamour of boyhood. 4106Not one blossom of his loveliness would ever fade. Not one pulse of 4107his life would ever weaken. Like the gods of the Greeks, he would be 4108strong, and fleet, and joyous. What did it matter what happened to the 4109coloured image on the canvas? He would be safe. That was everything. 4110 4111He drew the screen back into its former place in front of the picture, 4112smiling as he did so, and passed into his bedroom, where his valet was 4113already waiting for him. An hour later he was at the opera, and Lord 4114Henry was leaning over his chair. 4115 4116 4117 4118CHAPTER 9 4119 4120As he was sitting at breakfast next morning, Basil Hallward was shown 4121into the room. 4122 4123"I am so glad I have found you, Dorian," he said gravely. "I called 4124last night, and they told me you were at the opera. Of course, I knew 4125that was impossible. But I wish you had left word where you had really 4126gone to. I passed a dreadful evening, half afraid that one tragedy 4127might be followed by another. I think you might have telegraphed for 4128me when you heard of it first. I read of it quite by chance in a late 4129edition of _The Globe_ that I picked up at the club. I came here at once 4130and was miserable at not finding you. I can't tell you how 4131heart-broken I am about the whole thing. I know what you must suffer. 4132But where were you? Did you go down and see the girl's mother? For a 4133moment I thought of following you there. They gave the address in the 4134paper. Somewhere in the Euston Road, isn't it? But I was afraid of 4135intruding upon a sorrow that I could not lighten. Poor woman! What a 4136state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did she say about 4137it all?" 4138 4139"My dear Basil, how do I know?" murmured Dorian Gray, sipping some 4140pale-yellow wine from a delicate, gold-beaded bubble of Venetian glass 4141and looking dreadfully bored. "I was at the opera. You should have 4142come on there. I met Lady Gwendolen, Harry's sister, for the first 4143time. We were in her box. She is perfectly charming; and Patti sang 4144divinely. Don't talk about horrid subjects. If one doesn't talk about 4145a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression, as Harry 4146says, that gives reality to things. I may mention that she was not the 4147woman's only child. There is a son, a charming fellow, I believe. But 4148he is not on the stage. He is a sailor, or something. And now, tell 4149me about yourself and what you are painting." 4150 4151"You went to the opera?" said Hallward, speaking very slowly and with a 4152strained touch of pain in his voice. "You went to the opera while 4153Sibyl Vane was lying dead in some sordid lodging? You can talk to me 4154of other women being charming, and of Patti singing divinely, before 4155the girl you loved has even the quiet of a grave to sleep in? Why, 4156man, there are horrors in store for that little white body of hers!" 4157 4158"Stop, Basil! I won't hear it!" cried Dorian, leaping to his feet. 4159"You must not tell me about things. What is done is done. What is 4160past is past." 4161 4162"You call yesterday the past?" 4163 4164"What has the actual lapse of time got to do with it? It is only 4165shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who 4166is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a 4167pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to 4168use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them." 4169 4170"Dorian, this is horrible! Something has changed you completely. You 4171look exactly the same wonderful boy who, day after day, used to come 4172down to my studio to sit for his picture. But you were simple, 4173natural, and affectionate then. You were the most unspoiled creature 4174in the whole world. Now, I don't know what has come over you. You 4175talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you. It is all Harry's 4176influence. I see that." 4177 4178The lad flushed up and, going to the window, looked out for a few 4179moments on the green, flickering, sun-lashed garden. "I owe a great 4180deal to Harry, Basil," he said at last, "more than I owe to you. You 4181only taught me to be vain." 4182 4183"Well, I am punished for that, Dorian--or shall be some day." 4184 4185"I don't know what you mean, Basil," he exclaimed, turning round. "I 4186don't know what you want. What do you want?" 4187 4188"I want the Dorian Gray I used to paint," said the artist sadly. 4189 4190"Basil," said the lad, going over to him and putting his hand on his 4191shoulder, "you have come too late. Yesterday, when I heard that Sibyl 4192Vane had killed herself--" 4193 4194"Killed herself! Good heavens! is there no doubt about that?" cried 4195Hallward, looking up at him with an expression of horror. 4196 4197"My dear Basil! Surely you don't think it was a vulgar accident? Of 4198course she killed herself." 4199 4200The elder man buried his face in his hands. "How fearful," he 4201muttered, and a shudder ran through him. 4202 4203"No," said Dorian Gray, "there is nothing fearful about it. It is one 4204of the great romantic tragedies of the age. As a rule, people who act 4205lead the most commonplace lives. They are good husbands, or faithful 4206wives, or something tedious. You know what I mean--middle-class virtue 4207and all that kind of thing. How different Sibyl was! She lived her 4208finest tragedy. She was always a heroine. The last night she 4209played--the night you saw her--she acted badly because she had known 4210the reality of love. When she knew its unreality, she died, as Juliet 4211might have died. She passed again into the sphere of art. There is 4212something of the martyr about her. Her death has all the pathetic 4213uselessness of martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was saying, 4214you must not think I have not suffered. If you had come in yesterday 4215at a particular moment--about half-past five, perhaps, or a quarter to 4216six--you would have found me in tears. Even Harry, who was here, who 4217brought me the news, in fact, had no idea what I was going through. I 4218suffered immensely. Then it passed away. I cannot repeat an emotion. 4219No one can, except sentimentalists. And you are awfully unjust, Basil. 4220You come down here to console me. That is charming of you. You find 4221me consoled, and you are furious. How like a sympathetic person! You 4222remind me of a story Harry told me about a certain philanthropist who 4223spent twenty years of his life in trying to get some grievance 4224redressed, or some unjust law altered--I forget exactly what it was. 4225Finally he succeeded, and nothing could exceed his disappointment. He 4226had absolutely nothing to do, almost died of _ennui_, and became a 4227confirmed misanthrope. And besides, my dear old Basil, if you really 4228want to console me, teach me rather to forget what has happened, or to 4229see it from a proper artistic point of view. Was it not Gautier who 4230used to write about _la consolation des arts_? I remember picking up a 4231little vellum-covered book in your studio one day and chancing on that 4232delightful phrase. Well, I am not like that young man you told me of 4233when we were down at Marlow together, the young man who used to say 4234that yellow satin could console one for all the miseries of life. I 4235love beautiful things that one can touch and handle. Old brocades, 4236green bronzes, lacquer-work, carved ivories, exquisite surroundings, 4237luxury, pomp--there is much to be got from all these. But the artistic 4238temperament that they create, or at any rate reveal, is still more to 4239me. To become the spectator of one's own life, as Harry says, is to 4240escape the suffering of life. I know you are surprised at my talking 4241to you like this. You have not realized how I have developed. I was a 4242schoolboy when you knew me. I am a man now. I have new passions, new 4243thoughts, new ideas. I am different, but you must not like me less. I 4244am changed, but you must always be my friend. Of course, I am very 4245fond of Harry. But I know that you are better than he is. You are not 4246stronger--you are too much afraid of life--but you are better. And how 4247happy we used to be together! Don't leave me, Basil, and don't quarrel 4248with me. I am what I am. There is nothing more to be said." 4249 4250The painter felt strangely moved. The lad was infinitely dear to him, 4251and his personality had been the great turning point in his art. He 4252could not bear the idea of reproaching him any more. After all, his 4253indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There 4254was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble. 4255 4256"Well, Dorian," he said at length, with a sad smile, "I won't speak to 4257you again about this horrible thing, after to-day. I only trust your 4258name won't be mentioned in connection with it. The inquest is to take 4259place this afternoon. Have they summoned you?" 4260 4261Dorian shook his head, and a look of annoyance passed over his face at 4262the mention of the word "inquest." There was something so crude and 4263vulgar about everything of the kind. "They don't know my name," he 4264answered. 4265 4266"But surely she did?" 4267 4268"Only my Christian name, and that I am quite sure she never mentioned 4269to any one. She told me once that they were all rather curious to 4270learn who I was, and that she invariably told them my name was Prince 4271Charming. It was pretty of her. You must do me a drawing of Sibyl, 4272Basil. I should like to have something more of her than the memory of 4273a few kisses and some broken pathetic words." 4274 4275"I will try and do something, Dorian, if it would please you. But you 4276must come and sit to me yourself again. I can't get on without you." 4277 4278"I can never sit to you again, Basil. It is impossible!" he exclaimed, 4279starting back. 4280 4281The painter stared at him. "My dear boy, what nonsense!" he cried. 4282"Do you mean to say you don't like what I did of you? Where is it? 4283Why have you pulled the screen in front of it? Let me look at it. It 4284is the best thing I have ever done. Do take the screen away, Dorian. 4285It is simply disgraceful of your servant hiding my work like that. I 4286felt the room looked different as I came in." 4287 4288"My servant has nothing to do with it, Basil. You don't imagine I let 4289him arrange my room for me? He settles my flowers for me 4290sometimes--that is all. No; I did it myself. The light was too strong 4291on the portrait." 4292 4293"Too strong! Surely not, my dear fellow? It is an admirable place for 4294it. Let me see it." And Hallward walked towards the corner of the 4295room. 4296 4297A cry of terror broke from Dorian Gray's lips, and he rushed between 4298the painter and the screen. "Basil," he said, looking very pale, "you 4299must not look at it. I don't wish you to." 4300 4301"Not look at my own work! You are not serious. Why shouldn't I look 4302at it?" exclaimed Hallward, laughing. 4303 4304"If you try to look at it, Basil, on my word of honour I will never 4305speak to you again as long as I live. I am quite serious. I don't 4306offer any explanation, and you are not to ask for any. But, remember, 4307if you touch this screen, everything is over between us." 4308 4309Hallward was thunderstruck. He looked at Dorian Gray in absolute 4310amazement. He had never seen him like this before. The lad was 4311actually pallid with rage. His hands were clenched, and the pupils of 4312his eyes were like disks of blue fire. He was trembling all over. 4313 4314"Dorian!" 4315 4316"Don't speak!" 4317 4318"But what is the matter? Of course I won't look at it if you don't 4319want me to," he said, rather coldly, turning on his heel and going over 4320towards the window. "But, really, it seems rather absurd that I 4321shouldn't see my own work, especially as I am going to exhibit it in 4322Paris in the autumn. I shall probably have to give it another coat of 4323varnish before that, so I must see it some day, and why not to-day?" 4324 4325"To exhibit it! You want to exhibit it?" exclaimed Dorian Gray, a 4326strange sense of terror creeping over him. Was the world going to be 4327shown his secret? Were people to gape at the mystery of his life? 4328That was impossible. Something--he did not know what--had to be done 4329at once. 4330 4331"Yes; I don't suppose you will object to that. Georges Petit is going 4332to collect all my best pictures for a special exhibition in the Rue de 4333Seze, which will open the first week in October. The portrait will 4334only be away a month. I should think you could easily spare it for 4335that time. In fact, you are sure to be out of town. And if you keep 4336it always behind a screen, you can't care much about it." 4337 4338Dorian Gray passed his hand over his forehead. There were beads of 4339perspiration there. He felt that he was on the brink of a horrible 4340danger. "You told me a month ago that you would never exhibit it," he 4341cried. "Why have you changed your mind? You people who go in for 4342being consistent have just as many moods as others have. The only 4343difference is that your moods are rather meaningless. You can't have 4344forgotten that you assured me most solemnly that nothing in the world 4345would induce you to send it to any exhibition. You told Harry exactly 4346the same thing." He stopped suddenly, and a gleam of light came into 4347his eyes. He remembered that Lord Henry had said to him once, half 4348seriously and half in jest, "If you want to have a strange quarter of 4349an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won't exhibit your picture. He 4350told me why he wouldn't, and it was a revelation to me." Yes, perhaps 4351Basil, too, had his secret. He would ask him and try. 4352 4353"Basil," he said, coming over quite close and looking him straight in 4354the face, "we have each of us a secret. Let me know yours, and I shall 4355tell you mine. What was your reason for refusing to exhibit my 4356picture?" 4357 4358The painter shuddered in spite of himself. "Dorian, if I told you, you 4359might like me less than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I 4360could not bear your doing either of those two things. If you wish me 4361never to look at your picture again, I am content. I have always you 4362to look at. If you wish the best work I have ever done to be hidden 4363from the world, I am satisfied. Your friendship is dearer to me than 4364any fame or reputation." 4365 4366"No, Basil, you must tell me," insisted Dorian Gray. "I think I have a 4367right to know." His feeling of terror had passed away, and curiosity 4368had taken its place. He was determined to find out Basil Hallward's 4369mystery. 4370 4371"Let us sit down, Dorian," said the painter, looking troubled. "Let us 4372sit down. And just answer me one question. Have you noticed in the 4373picture something curious?--something that probably at first did not 4374strike you, but that revealed itself to you suddenly?" 4375 4376"Basil!" cried the lad, clutching the arms of his chair with trembling 4377hands and gazing at him with wild startled eyes. 4378 4379"I see you did. Don't speak. Wait till you hear what I have to say. 4380Dorian, from the moment I met you, your personality had the most 4381extraordinary influence over me. I was dominated, soul, brain, and 4382power, by you. You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen 4383ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream. I 4384worshipped you. I grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. I 4385wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with 4386you. When you were away from me, you were still present in my art.... 4387Of course, I never let you know anything about this. It would have 4388been impossible. You would not have understood it. I hardly 4389understood it myself. I only knew that I had seen perfection face to 4390face, and that the world had become wonderful to my eyes--too 4391wonderful, perhaps, for in such mad worships there is peril, the peril 4392of losing them, no less than the peril of keeping them.... Weeks and 4393weeks went on, and I grew more and more absorbed in you. Then came a 4394new development. I had drawn you as Paris in dainty armour, and as 4395Adonis with huntsman's cloak and polished boar-spear. Crowned with 4396heavy lotus-blossoms you had sat on the prow of Adrian's barge, gazing 4397across the green turbid Nile. You had leaned over the still pool of 4398some Greek woodland and seen in the water's silent silver the marvel of 4399your own face. And it had all been what art should be--unconscious, 4400ideal, and remote. One day, a fatal day I sometimes think, I 4401determined to paint a wonderful portrait of you as you actually are, 4402not in the costume of dead ages, but in your own dress and in your own 4403time. Whether it was the realism of the method, or the mere wonder of 4404your own personality, thus directly presented to me without mist or 4405veil, I cannot tell. But I know that as I worked at it, every flake 4406and film of colour seemed to me to reveal my secret. I grew afraid 4407that others would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian, that I had told 4408too much, that I had put too much of myself into it. Then it was that 4409I resolved never to allow the picture to be exhibited. You were a 4410little annoyed; but then you did not realize all that it meant to me. 4411Harry, to whom I talked about it, laughed at me. But I did not mind 4412that. When the picture was finished, and I sat alone with it, I felt 4413that I was right.... Well, after a few days the thing left my studio, 4414and as soon as I had got rid of the intolerable fascination of its 4415presence, it seemed to me that I had been foolish in imagining that I 4416had seen anything in it, more than that you were extremely good-looking 4417and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling that it is a 4418mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever really 4419shown in the work one creates. Art is always more abstract than we 4420fancy. Form and colour tell us of form and colour--that is all. It 4421often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than 4422it ever reveals him. And so when I got this offer from Paris, I 4423determined to make your portrait the principal thing in my exhibition. 4424It never occurred to me that you would refuse. I see now that you were 4425right. The picture cannot be shown. You must not be angry with me, 4426Dorian, for what I have told you. As I said to Harry, once, you are 4427made to be worshipped." 4428 4429Dorian Gray drew a long breath. The colour came back to his cheeks, 4430and a smile played about his lips. The peril was over. He was safe 4431for the time. Yet he could not help feeling infinite pity for the 4432painter who had just made this strange confession to him, and wondered 4433if he himself would ever be so dominated by the personality of a 4434friend. Lord Henry had the charm of being very dangerous. But that 4435was all. He was too clever and too cynical to be really fond of. 4436Would there ever be some one who would fill him with a strange 4437idolatry? Was that one of the things that life had in store? 4438 4439"It is extraordinary to me, Dorian," said Hallward, "that you should 4440have seen this in the portrait. Did you really see it?" 4441 4442"I saw something in it," he answered, "something that seemed to me very 4443curious." 4444 4445"Well, you don't mind my looking at the thing now?" 4446 4447Dorian shook his head. "You must not ask me that, Basil. I could not 4448possibly let you stand in front of that picture." 4449 4450"You will some day, surely?" 4451 4452"Never." 4453 4454"Well, perhaps you are right. And now good-bye, Dorian. You have been 4455the one person in my life who has really influenced my art. Whatever I 4456have done that is good, I owe to you. Ah! you don't know what it cost 4457me to tell you all that I have told you." 4458 4459"My dear Basil," said Dorian, "what have you told me? Simply that you 4460felt that you admired me too much. That is not even a compliment." 4461 4462"It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I 4463have made it, something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one 4464should never put one's worship into words." 4465 4466"It was a very disappointing confession." 4467 4468"Why, what did you expect, Dorian? You didn't see anything else in the 4469picture, did you? There was nothing else to see?" 4470 4471"No; there was nothing else to see. Why do you ask? But you mustn't 4472talk about worship. It is foolish. You and I are friends, Basil, and 4473we must always remain so." 4474 4475"You have got Harry," said the painter sadly. 4476 4477"Oh, Harry!" cried the lad, with a ripple of laughter. "Harry spends 4478his days in saying what is incredible and his evenings in doing what is 4479improbable. Just the sort of life I would like to lead. But still I 4480don't think I would go to Harry if I were in trouble. I would sooner 4481go to you, Basil." 4482 4483"You will sit to me again?" 4484 4485"Impossible!" 4486 4487"You spoil my life as an artist by refusing, Dorian. No man comes 4488across two ideal things. Few come across one." 4489 4490"I can't explain it to you, Basil, but I must never sit to you again. 4491There is something fatal about a portrait. It has a life of its own. 4492I will come and have tea with you. That will be just as pleasant." 4493 4494"Pleasanter for you, I am afraid," murmured Hallward regretfully. "And 4495now good-bye. I am sorry you won't let me look at the picture once 4496again. But that can't be helped. I quite understand what you feel 4497about it." 4498 4499As he left the room, Dorian Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! How 4500little he knew of the true reason! And how strange it was that, 4501instead of having been forced to reveal his own secret, he had 4502succeeded, almost by chance, in wresting a secret from his friend! How 4503much that strange confession explained to him! The painter's absurd 4504fits of jealousy, his wild devotion, his extravagant panegyrics, his 4505curious reticences--he understood them all now, and he felt sorry. 4506There seemed to him to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured 4507by romance. 4508 4509He sighed and touched the bell. The portrait must be hidden away at 4510all costs. He could not run such a risk of discovery again. It had 4511been mad of him to have allowed the thing to remain, even for an hour, 4512in a room to which any of his friends had access. 4513 4514 4515 4516CHAPTER 10 4517 4518When his servant entered, he looked at him steadfastly and wondered if 4519he had thought of peering behind the screen. The man was quite 4520impassive and waited for his orders. Dorian lit a cigarette and walked 4521over to the glass and glanced into it. He could see the reflection of 4522Victor's face perfectly. It was like a placid mask of servility. 4523There was nothing to be afraid of, there. Yet he thought it best to be 4524on his guard. 4525 4526Speaking very slowly, he told him to tell the house-keeper that he 4527wanted to see her, and then to go to the frame-maker and ask him to 4528send two of his men round at once. It seemed to him that as the man 4529left the room his eyes wandered in the direction of the screen. Or was 4530that merely his own fancy? 4531 4532After a few moments, in her black silk dress, with old-fashioned thread 4533mittens on her wrinkled hands, Mrs. Leaf bustled into the library. He 4534asked her for the key of the schoolroom. 4535 4536"The old schoolroom, Mr. Dorian?" she exclaimed. "Why, it is full of 4537dust. I must get it arranged and put straight before you go into it. 4538It is not fit for you to see, sir. It is not, indeed." 4539 4540"I don't want it put straight, Leaf. I only want the key." 4541 4542"Well, sir, you'll be covered with cobwebs if you go into it. Why, it 4543hasn't been opened for nearly five years--not since his lordship died." 4544 4545He winced at the mention of his grandfather. He had hateful memories 4546of him. "That does not matter," he answered. "I simply want to see 4547the place--that is all. Give me the key." 4548 4549"And here is the key, sir," said the old lady, going over the contents 4550of her bunch with tremulously uncertain hands. "Here is the key. I'll 4551have it off the bunch in a moment. But you don't think of living up 4552there, sir, and you so comfortable here?" 4553 4554"No, no," he cried petulantly. "Thank you, Leaf. That will do." 4555 4556She lingered for a few moments, and was garrulous over some detail of 4557the household. He sighed and told her to manage things as she thought 4558best. She left the room, wreathed in smiles. 4559 4560As the door closed, Dorian put the key in his pocket and looked round 4561the room. His eye fell on a large, purple satin coverlet heavily 4562embroidered with gold, a splendid piece of late seventeenth-century 4563Venetian work that his grandfather had found in a convent near Bologna. 4564Yes, that would serve to wrap the dreadful thing in. It had perhaps 4565served often as a pall for the dead. Now it was to hide something that 4566had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death 4567itself--something that would breed horrors and yet would never die. 4568What the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to the painted image 4569on the canvas. They would mar its beauty and eat away its grace. They 4570would defile it and make it shameful. And yet the thing would still 4571live on. It would be always alive. 4572 4573He shuddered, and for a moment he regretted that he had not told Basil 4574the true reason why he had wished to hide the picture away. Basil 4575would have helped him to resist Lord Henry's influence, and the still 4576more poisonous influences that came from his own temperament. The love 4577that he bore him--for it was really love--had nothing in it that was 4578not noble and intellectual. It was not that mere physical admiration 4579of beauty that is born of the senses and that dies when the senses 4580tire. It was such love as Michelangelo had known, and Montaigne, and 4581Winckelmann, and Shakespeare himself. Yes, Basil could have saved him. 4582But it was too late now. The past could always be annihilated. 4583Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was 4584inevitable. There were passions in him that would find their terrible 4585outlet, dreams that would make the shadow of their evil real. 4586 4587He took up from the couch the great purple-and-gold texture that 4588covered it, and, holding it in his hands, passed behind the screen. 4589Was the face on the canvas viler than before? It seemed to him that it 4590was unchanged, and yet his loathing of it was intensified. Gold hair, 4591blue eyes, and rose-red lips--they all were there. It was simply the 4592expression that had altered. That was horrible in its cruelty. 4593Compared to what he saw in it of censure or rebuke, how shallow Basil's 4594reproaches about Sibyl Vane had been!--how shallow, and of what little 4595account! His own soul was looking out at him from the canvas and 4596calling him to judgement. A look of pain came across him, and he flung 4597the rich pall over the picture. As he did so, a knock came to the 4598door. He passed out as his servant entered. 4599 4600"The persons are here, Monsieur." 4601 4602He felt that the man must be got rid of at once. He must not be 4603allowed to know where the picture was being taken to. There was 4604something sly about him, and he had thoughtful, treacherous eyes. 4605Sitting down at the writing-table he scribbled a note to Lord Henry, 4606asking him to send him round something to read and reminding him that 4607they were to meet at eight-fifteen that evening. 4608 4609"Wait for an answer," he said, handing it to him, "and show the men in 4610here." 4611 4612In two or three minutes there was another knock, and Mr. Hubbard 4613himself, the celebrated frame-maker of South Audley Street, came in 4614with a somewhat rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Hubbard was a 4615florid, red-whiskered little man, whose admiration for art was 4616considerably tempered by the inveterate impecuniosity of most of the 4617artists who dealt with him. As a rule, he never left his shop. He 4618waited for people to come to him. But he always made an exception in 4619favour of Dorian Gray. There was something about Dorian that charmed 4620everybody. It was a pleasure even to see him. 4621 4622"What can I do for you, Mr. Gray?" he said, rubbing his fat freckled 4623hands. "I thought I would do myself the honour of coming round in 4624person. I have just got a beauty of a frame, sir. Picked it up at a 4625sale. Old Florentine. Came from Fonthill, I believe. Admirably 4626suited for a religious subject, Mr. Gray." 4627 4628"I am so sorry you have given yourself the trouble of coming round, Mr. 4629Hubbard. I shall certainly drop in and look at the frame--though I 4630don't go in much at present for religious art--but to-day I only want a 4631picture carried to the top of the house for me. It is rather heavy, so 4632I thought I would ask you to lend me a couple of your men." 4633 4634"No trouble at all, Mr. Gray. I am delighted to be of any service to 4635you. Which is the work of art, sir?" 4636 4637"This," replied Dorian, moving the screen back. "Can you move it, 4638covering and all, just as it is? I don't want it to get scratched 4639going upstairs." 4640 4641"There will be no difficulty, sir," said the genial frame-maker, 4642beginning, with the aid of his assistant, to unhook the picture from 4643the long brass chains by which it was suspended. "And, now, where 4644shall we carry it to, Mr. Gray?" 4645 4646"I will show you the way, Mr. Hubbard, if you will kindly follow me. 4647Or perhaps you had better go in front. I am afraid it is right at the 4648top of the house. We will go up by the front staircase, as it is 4649wider." 4650 4651He held the door open for them, and they passed out into the hall and 4652began the ascent. The elaborate character of the frame had made the 4653picture extremely bulky, and now and then, in spite of the obsequious 4654protests of Mr. Hubbard, who had the true tradesman's spirited dislike 4655of seeing a gentleman doing anything useful, Dorian put his hand to it 4656so as to help them. 4657 4658"Something of a load to carry, sir," gasped the little man when they 4659reached the top landing. And he wiped his shiny forehead. 4660 4661"I am afraid it is rather heavy," murmured Dorian as he unlocked the 4662door that opened into the room that was to keep for him the curious 4663secret of his life and hide his soul from the eyes of men. 4664 4665He had not entered the place for more than four years--not, indeed, 4666since he had used it first as a play-room when he was a child, and then 4667as a study when he grew somewhat older. It was a large, 4668well-proportioned room, which had been specially built by the last Lord 4669Kelso for the use of the little grandson whom, for his strange likeness 4670to his mother, and also for other reasons, he had always hated and 4671desired to keep at a distance. It appeared to Dorian to have but 4672little changed. There was the huge Italian _cassone_, with its 4673fantastically painted panels and its tarnished gilt mouldings, in which 4674he had so often hidden himself as a boy. There the satinwood book-case 4675filled with his dog-eared schoolbooks. On the wall behind it was 4676hanging the same ragged Flemish tapestry where a faded king and queen 4677were playing chess in a garden, while a company of hawkers rode by, 4678carrying hooded birds on their gauntleted wrists. How well he 4679remembered it all! Every moment of his lonely childhood came back to 4680him as he looked round. He recalled the stainless purity of his boyish 4681life, and it seemed horrible to him that it was here the fatal portrait 4682was to be hidden away. How little he had thought, in those dead days, 4683of all that was in store for him! 4684 4685But there was no other place in the house so secure from prying eyes as 4686this. He had the key, and no one else could enter it. Beneath its 4687purple pall, the face painted on the canvas could grow bestial, sodden, 4688and unclean. What did it matter? No one could see it. He himself 4689would not see it. Why should he watch the hideous corruption of his 4690soul? He kept his youth--that was enough. And, besides, might not 4691his nature grow finer, after all? There was no reason that the future 4692should be so full of shame. Some love might come across his life, and 4693purify him, and shield him from those sins that seemed to be already 4694stirring in spirit and in flesh--those curious unpictured sins whose 4695very mystery lent them their subtlety and their charm. Perhaps, some 4696day, the cruel look would have passed away from the scarlet sensitive 4697mouth, and he might show to the world Basil Hallward's masterpiece. 4698 4699No; that was impossible. Hour by hour, and week by week, the thing 4700upon the canvas was growing old. It might escape the hideousness of 4701sin, but the hideousness of age was in store for it. The cheeks would 4702become hollow or flaccid. Yellow crow's feet would creep round the 4703fading eyes and make them horrible. The hair would lose its 4704brightness, the mouth would gape or droop, would be foolish or gross, 4705as the mouths of old men are. There would be the wrinkled throat, the 4706cold, blue-veined hands, the twisted body, that he remembered in the 4707grandfather who had been so stern to him in his boyhood. The picture 4708had to be concealed. There was no help for it. 4709 4710"Bring it in, Mr. Hubbard, please," he said, wearily, turning round. 4711"I am sorry I kept you so long. I was thinking of something else." 4712 4713"Always glad to have a rest, Mr. Gray," answered the frame-maker, who 4714was still gasping for breath. "Where shall we put it, sir?" 4715 4716"Oh, anywhere. Here: this will do. I don't want to have it hung up. 4717Just lean it against the wall. Thanks." 4718 4719"Might one look at the work of art, sir?" 4720 4721Dorian started. "It would not interest you, Mr. Hubbard," he said, 4722keeping his eye on the man. He felt ready to leap upon him and fling 4723him to the ground if he dared to lift the gorgeous hanging that 4724concealed the secret of his life. "I shan't trouble you any more now. 4725I am much obliged for your kindness in coming round." 4726 4727"Not at all, not at all, Mr. Gray. Ever ready to do anything for you, 4728sir." And Mr. Hubbard tramped downstairs, followed by the assistant, 4729who glanced back at Dorian with a look of shy wonder in his rough 4730uncomely face. He had never seen any one so marvellous. 4731 4732When the sound of their footsteps had died away, Dorian locked the door 4733and put the key in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever 4734look upon the horrible thing. No eye but his would ever see his shame. 4735 4736On reaching the library, he found that it was just after five o'clock 4737and that the tea had been already brought up. On a little table of 4738dark perfumed wood thickly incrusted with nacre, a present from Lady 4739Radley, his guardian's wife, a pretty professional invalid who had 4740spent the preceding winter in Cairo, was lying a note from Lord Henry, 4741and beside it was a book bound in yellow paper, the cover slightly torn 4742and the edges soiled. A copy of the third edition of _The St. James's 4743Gazette_ had been placed on the tea-tray. It was evident that Victor had 4744returned. He wondered if he had met the men in the hall as they were 4745leaving the house and had wormed out of them what they had been doing. 4746He would be sure to miss the picture--had no doubt missed it already, 4747while he had been laying the tea-things. The screen had not been set 4748back, and a blank space was visible on the wall. Perhaps some night he 4749might find him creeping upstairs and trying to force the door of the 4750room. It was a horrible thing to have a spy in one's house. He had 4751heard of rich men who had been blackmailed all their lives by some 4752servant who had read a letter, or overheard a conversation, or picked 4753up a card with an address, or found beneath a pillow a withered flower 4754or a shred of crumpled lace. 4755 4756He sighed, and having poured himself out some tea, opened Lord Henry's 4757note. It was simply to say that he sent him round the evening paper, 4758and a book that might interest him, and that he would be at the club at 4759eight-fifteen. He opened _The St. James's_ languidly, and looked through 4760it. A red pencil-mark on the fifth page caught his eye. It drew 4761attention to the following paragraph: 4762 4763 4764INQUEST ON AN ACTRESS.--An inquest was held this morning at the Bell 4765Tavern, Hoxton Road, by Mr. Danby, the District Coroner, on the body of 4766Sibyl Vane, a young actress recently engaged at the Royal Theatre, 4767Holborn. A verdict of death by misadventure was returned. 4768Considerable sympathy was expressed for the mother of the deceased, who 4769was greatly affected during the giving of her own evidence, and that of 4770Dr. Birrell, who had made the post-mortem examination of the deceased. 4771 4772 4773He frowned, and tearing the paper in two, went across the room and 4774flung the pieces away. How ugly it all was! And how horribly real 4775ugliness made things! He felt a little annoyed with Lord Henry for 4776having sent him the report. And it was certainly stupid of him to have 4777marked it with red pencil. Victor might have read it. The man knew 4778more than enough English for that. 4779 4780Perhaps he had read it and had begun to suspect something. And, yet, 4781what did it matter? What had Dorian Gray to do with Sibyl Vane's 4782death? There was nothing to fear. Dorian Gray had not killed her. 4783 4784His eye fell on the yellow book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was 4785it, he wondered. He went towards the little, pearl-coloured octagonal 4786stand that had always looked to him like the work of some strange 4787Egyptian bees that wrought in silver, and taking up the volume, flung 4788himself into an arm-chair and began to turn over the leaves. After a 4789few minutes he became absorbed. It was the strangest book that he had 4790ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite raiment, and to the 4791delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were passing in dumb 4792show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were suddenly 4793made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed were gradually 4794revealed. 4795 4796It was a novel without a plot and with only one character, being, 4797indeed, simply a psychological study of a certain young Parisian who 4798spent his life trying to realize in the nineteenth century all the 4799passions and modes of thought that belonged to every century except his 4800own, and to sum up, as it were, in himself the various moods through 4801which the world-spirit had ever passed, loving for their mere 4802artificiality those renunciations that men have unwisely called virtue, 4803as much as those natural rebellions that wise men still call sin. The 4804style in which it was written was that curious jewelled style, vivid 4805and obscure at once, full of _argot_ and of archaisms, of technical 4806expressions and of elaborate paraphrases, that characterizes the work 4807of some of the finest artists of the French school of _Symbolistes_. 4808There were in it metaphors as monstrous as orchids and as subtle in 4809colour. The life of the senses was described in the terms of mystical 4810philosophy. One hardly knew at times whether one was reading the 4811spiritual ecstasies of some mediaeval saint or the morbid confessions 4812of a modern sinner. It was a poisonous book. The heavy odour of 4813incense seemed to cling about its pages and to trouble the brain. The 4814mere cadence of the sentences, the subtle monotony of their music, so 4815full as it was of complex refrains and movements elaborately repeated, 4816produced in the mind of the lad, as he passed from chapter to chapter, 4817a form of reverie, a malady of dreaming, that made him unconscious of 4818the falling day and creeping shadows. 4819 4820Cloudless, and pierced by one solitary star, a copper-green sky gleamed 4821through the windows. He read on by its wan light till he could read no 4822more. Then, after his valet had reminded him several times of the 4823lateness of the hour, he got up, and going into the next room, placed 4824the book on the little Florentine table that always stood at his 4825bedside and began to dress for dinner. 4826 4827It was almost nine o'clock before he reached the club, where he found 4828Lord Henry sitting alone, in the morning-room, looking very much bored. 4829 4830"I am so sorry, Harry," he cried, "but really it is entirely your 4831fault. That book you sent me so fascinated me that I forgot how the 4832time was going." 4833 4834"Yes, I thought you would like it," replied his host, rising from his 4835chair. 4836 4837"I didn't say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a 4838great difference." 4839 4840"Ah, you have discovered that?" murmured Lord Henry. And they passed 4841into the dining-room. 4842 4843 4844 4845CHAPTER 11 4846 4847For years, Dorian Gray could not free himself from the influence of 4848this book. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he never 4849sought to free himself from it. He procured from Paris no less than 4850nine large-paper copies of the first edition, and had them bound in 4851different colours, so that they might suit his various moods and the 4852changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at times, to have 4853almost entirely lost control. The hero, the wonderful young Parisian 4854in whom the romantic and the scientific temperaments were so strangely 4855blended, became to him a kind of prefiguring type of himself. And, 4856indeed, the whole book seemed to him to contain the story of his own 4857life, written before he had lived it. 4858 4859In one point he was more fortunate than the novel's fantastic hero. He 4860never knew--never, indeed, had any cause to know--that somewhat 4861grotesque dread of mirrors, and polished metal surfaces, and still 4862water which came upon the young Parisian so early in his life, and was 4863occasioned by the sudden decay of a beau that had once, apparently, 4864been so remarkable. It was with an almost cruel joy--and perhaps in 4865nearly every joy, as certainly in every pleasure, cruelty has its 4866place--that he used to read the latter part of the book, with its 4867really tragic, if somewhat overemphasized, account of the sorrow and 4868despair of one who had himself lost what in others, and the world, he 4869had most dearly valued. 4870 4871For the wonderful beauty that had so fascinated Basil Hallward, and 4872many others besides him, seemed never to leave him. Even those who had 4873heard the most evil things against him--and from time to time strange 4874rumours about his mode of life crept through London and became the 4875chatter of the clubs--could not believe anything to his dishonour when 4876they saw him. He had always the look of one who had kept himself 4877unspotted from the world. Men who talked grossly became silent when 4878Dorian Gray entered the room. There was something in the purity of his 4879face that rebuked them. His mere presence seemed to recall to them the 4880memory of the innocence that they had tarnished. They wondered how one 4881so charming and graceful as he was could have escaped the stain of an 4882age that was at once sordid and sensual. 4883 4884Often, on returning home from one of those mysterious and prolonged 4885absences that gave rise to such strange conjecture among those who were 4886his friends, or thought that they were so, he himself would creep 4887upstairs to the locked room, open the door with the key that never left 4888him now, and stand, with a mirror, in front of the portrait that Basil 4889Hallward had painted of him, looking now at the evil and aging face on 4890the canvas, and now at the fair young face that laughed back at him 4891from the polished glass. The very sharpness of the contrast used to 4892quicken his sense of pleasure. He grew more and more enamoured of his 4893own beauty, more and more interested in the corruption of his own soul. 4894He would examine with minute care, and sometimes with a monstrous and 4895terrible delight, the hideous lines that seared the wrinkling forehead 4896or crawled around the heavy sensual mouth, wondering sometimes which 4897were the more horrible, the signs of sin or the signs of age. He would 4898place his white hands beside the coarse bloated hands of the picture, 4899and smile. He mocked the misshapen body and the failing limbs. 4900 4901There were moments, indeed, at night, when, lying sleepless in his own 4902delicately scented chamber, or in the sordid room of the little 4903ill-famed tavern near the docks which, under an assumed name and in 4904disguise, it was his habit to frequent, he would think of the ruin he 4905had brought upon his soul with a pity that was all the more poignant 4906because it was purely selfish. But moments such as these were rare. 4907That curiosity about life which Lord Henry had first stirred in him, as 4908they sat together in the garden of their friend, seemed to increase 4909with gratification. The more he knew, the more he desired to know. He 4910had mad hungers that grew more ravenous as he fed them. 4911 4912Yet he was not really reckless, at any rate in his relations to 4913society. Once or twice every month during the winter, and on each 4914Wednesday evening while the season lasted, he would throw open to the 4915world his beautiful house and have the most celebrated musicians of the 4916day to charm his guests with the wonders of their art. His little 4917dinners, in the settling of which Lord Henry always assisted him, were 4918noted as much for the careful selection and placing of those invited, 4919as for the exquisite taste shown in the decoration of the table, with 4920its subtle symphonic arrangements of exotic flowers, and embroidered 4921cloths, and antique plate of gold and silver. Indeed, there were many, 4922especially among the very young men, who saw, or fancied that they saw, 4923in Dorian Gray the true realization of a type of which they had often 4924dreamed in Eton or Oxford days, a type that was to combine something of 4925the real culture of the scholar with all the grace and distinction and 4926perfect manner of a citizen of the world. To them he seemed to be of 4927the company of those whom Dante describes as having sought to "make 4928themselves perfect by the worship of beauty." Like Gautier, he was one 4929for whom "the visible world existed." 4930 4931And, certainly, to him life itself was the first, the greatest, of the 4932arts, and for it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation. 4933Fashion, by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment 4934universal, and dandyism, which, in its own way, is an attempt to assert 4935the absolute modernity of beauty, had, of course, their fascination for 4936him. His mode of dressing, and the particular styles that from time to 4937time he affected, had their marked influence on the young exquisites of 4938the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows, who copied him in 4939everything that he did, and tried to reproduce the accidental charm of 4940his graceful, though to him only half-serious, fopperies. 4941 4942For, while he was but too ready to accept the position that was almost 4943immediately offered to him on his coming of age, and found, indeed, a 4944subtle pleasure in the thought that he might really become to the 4945London of his own day what to imperial Neronian Rome the author of the 4946Satyricon once had been, yet in his inmost heart he desired to be 4947something more than a mere _arbiter elegantiarum_, to be consulted on the 4948wearing of a jewel, or the knotting of a necktie, or the conduct of a 4949cane. He sought to elaborate some new scheme of life that would have 4950its reasoned philosophy and its ordered principles, and find in the 4951spiritualizing of the senses its highest realization. 4952 4953The worship of the senses has often, and with much justice, been 4954decried, men feeling a natural instinct of terror about passions and 4955sensations that seem stronger than themselves, and that they are 4956conscious of sharing with the less highly organized forms of existence. 4957But it appeared to Dorian Gray that the true nature of the senses had 4958never been understood, and that they had remained savage and animal 4959merely because the world had sought to starve them into submission or 4960to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making them elements of a 4961new spirituality, of which a fine instinct for beauty was to be the 4962dominant characteristic. As he looked back upon man moving through 4963history, he was haunted by a feeling of loss. So much had been 4964surrendered! and to such little purpose! There had been mad wilful 4965rejections, monstrous forms of self-torture and self-denial, whose 4966origin was fear and whose result was a degradation infinitely more 4967terrible than that fancied degradation from which, in their ignorance, 4968they had sought to escape; Nature, in her wonderful irony, driving out 4969the anchorite to feed with the wild animals of the desert and giving to 4970the hermit the beasts of the field as his companions. 4971 4972Yes: there was to be, as Lord Henry had prophesied, a new Hedonism 4973that was to recreate life and to save it from that harsh uncomely 4974puritanism that is having, in our own day, its curious revival. It was 4975to have its service of the intellect, certainly, yet it was never to 4976accept any theory or system that would involve the sacrifice of any 4977mode of passionate experience. Its aim, indeed, was to be experience 4978itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they might 4979be. Of the asceticism that deadens the senses, as of the vulgar 4980profligacy that dulls them, it was to know nothing. But it was to 4981teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of a life that is 4982itself but a moment. 4983 4984There are few of us who have not sometimes wakened before dawn, either 4985after one of those dreamless nights that make us almost enamoured of 4986death, or one of those nights of horror and misshapen joy, when through 4987the chambers of the brain sweep phantoms more terrible than reality 4988itself, and instinct with that vivid life that lurks in all grotesques, 4989and that lends to Gothic art its enduring vitality, this art being, one 4990might fancy, especially the art of those whose minds have been troubled 4991with the malady of reverie. Gradually white fingers creep through the 4992curtains, and they appear to tremble. In black fantastic shapes, dumb 4993shadows crawl into the corners of the room and crouch there. Outside, 4994there is the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men 4995going forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down 4996from the hills and wandering round the silent house, as though it 4997feared to wake the sleepers and yet must needs call forth sleep from 4998her purple cave. Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by 4999degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we 5000watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern. The wan 5001mirrors get back their mimic life. The flameless tapers stand where we 5002had left them, and beside them lies the half-cut book that we had been 5003studying, or the wired flower that we had worn at the ball, or the 5004letter that we had been afraid to read, or that we had read too often. 5005Nothing seems to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night 5006comes back the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where 5007we had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the 5008necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of 5009stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it may be, that our eyelids 5010might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in 5011the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh 5012shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in 5013which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate, 5014in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of 5015joy having its bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain. 5016 5017It was the creation of such worlds as these that seemed to Dorian Gray 5018to be the true object, or amongst the true objects, of life; and in his 5019search for sensations that would be at once new and delightful, and 5020possess that element of strangeness that is so essential to romance, he 5021would often adopt certain modes of thought that he knew to be really 5022alien to his nature, abandon himself to their subtle influences, and 5023then, having, as it were, caught their colour and satisfied his 5024intellectual curiosity, leave them with that curious indifference that 5025is not incompatible with a real ardour of temperament, and that, 5026indeed, according to certain modern psychologists, is often a condition 5027of it. 5028 5029It was rumoured of him once that he was about to join the Roman 5030Catholic communion, and certainly the Roman ritual had always a great 5031attraction for him. The daily sacrifice, more awful really than all 5032the sacrifices of the antique world, stirred him as much by its superb 5033rejection of the evidence of the senses as by the primitive simplicity 5034of its elements and the eternal pathos of the human tragedy that it 5035sought to symbolize. He loved to kneel down on the cold marble 5036pavement and watch the priest, in his stiff flowered dalmatic, slowly 5037and with white hands moving aside the veil of the tabernacle, or 5038raising aloft the jewelled, lantern-shaped monstrance with that pallid 5039wafer that at times, one would fain think, is indeed the "_panis 5040caelestis_," the bread of angels, or, robed in the garments of the 5041Passion of Christ, breaking the Host into the chalice and smiting his 5042breast for his sins. The fuming censers that the grave boys, in their 5043lace and scarlet, tossed into the air like great gilt flowers had their 5044subtle fascination for him. As he passed out, he used to look with 5045wonder at the black confessionals and long to sit in the dim shadow of 5046one of them and listen to men and women whispering through the worn 5047grating the true story of their lives. 5048 5049But he never fell into the error of arresting his intellectual 5050development by any formal acceptance of creed or system, or of 5051mistaking, for a house in which to live, an inn that is but suitable 5052for the sojourn of a night, or for a few hours of a night in which 5053there are no stars and the moon is in travail. Mysticism, with its 5054marvellous power of making common things strange to us, and the subtle 5055antinomianism that always seems to accompany it, moved him for a 5056season; and for a season he inclined to the materialistic doctrines of 5057the _Darwinismus_ movement in Germany, and found a curious pleasure in 5058tracing the thoughts and passions of men to some pearly cell in the 5059brain, or some white nerve in the body, delighting in the conception of 5060the absolute dependence of the spirit on certain physical conditions, 5061morbid or healthy, normal or diseased. Yet, as has been said of him 5062before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance 5063compared with life itself. He felt keenly conscious of how barren all 5064intellectual speculation is when separated from action and experiment. 5065He knew that the senses, no less than the soul, have their spiritual 5066mysteries to reveal. 5067 5068And so he would now study perfumes and the secrets of their 5069manufacture, distilling heavily scented oils and burning odorous gums 5070from the East. He saw that there was no mood of the mind that had not 5071its counterpart in the sensuous life, and set himself to discover their 5072true relations, wondering what there was in frankincense that made one 5073mystical, and in ambergris that stirred one's passions, and in violets 5074that woke the memory of dead romances, and in musk that troubled the 5075brain, and in champak that stained the imagination; and seeking often 5076to elaborate a real psychology of perfumes, and to estimate the several 5077influences of sweet-smelling roots and scented, pollen-laden flowers; 5078of aromatic balms and of dark and fragrant woods; of spikenard, that 5079sickens; of hovenia, that makes men mad; and of aloes, that are said to 5080be able to expel melancholy from the soul. 5081 5082At another time he devoted himself entirely to music, and in a long 5083latticed room, with a vermilion-and-gold ceiling and walls of 5084olive-green lacquer, he used to give curious concerts in which mad 5085gipsies tore wild music from little zithers, or grave, yellow-shawled 5086Tunisians plucked at the strained strings of monstrous lutes, while 5087grinning Negroes beat monotonously upon copper drums and, crouching 5088upon scarlet mats, slim turbaned Indians blew through long pipes of 5089reed or brass and charmed--or feigned to charm--great hooded snakes and 5090horrible horned adders. The harsh intervals and shrill discords of 5091barbaric music stirred him at times when Schubert's grace, and Chopin's 5092beautiful sorrows, and the mighty harmonies of Beethoven himself, fell 5093unheeded on his ear. He collected together from all parts of the world 5094the strangest instruments that could be found, either in the tombs of 5095dead nations or among the few savage tribes that have survived contact 5096with Western civilizations, and loved to touch and try them. He had 5097the mysterious _juruparis_ of the Rio Negro Indians, that women are not 5098allowed to look at and that even youths may not see till they have been 5099subjected to fasting and scourging, and the earthen jars of the 5100Peruvians that have the shrill cries of birds, and flutes of human 5101bones such as Alfonso de Ovalle heard in Chile, and the sonorous green 5102jaspers that are found near Cuzco and give forth a note of singular 5103sweetness. He had painted gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when 5104they were shaken; the long _clarin_ of the Mexicans, into which the 5105performer does not blow, but through which he inhales the air; the 5106harsh _ture_ of the Amazon tribes, that is sounded by the sentinels who 5107sit all day long in high trees, and can be heard, it is said, at a 5108distance of three leagues; the _teponaztli_, that has two vibrating 5109tongues of wood and is beaten with sticks that are smeared with an 5110elastic gum obtained from the milky juice of plants; the _yotl_-bells of 5111the Aztecs, that are hung in clusters like grapes; and a huge 5112cylindrical drum, covered with the skins of great serpents, like the 5113one that Bernal Diaz saw when he went with Cortes into the Mexican 5114temple, and of whose doleful sound he has left us so vivid a 5115description. The fantastic character of these instruments fascinated 5116him, and he felt a curious delight in the thought that art, like 5117Nature, has her monsters, things of bestial shape and with hideous 5118voices. Yet, after some time, he wearied of them, and would sit in his 5119box at the opera, either alone or with Lord Henry, listening in rapt 5120pleasure to "Tannhauser" and seeing in the prelude to that great work 5121of art a presentation of the tragedy of his own soul. 5122 5123On one occasion he took up the study of jewels, and appeared at a 5124costume ball as Anne de Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in a dress covered 5125with five hundred and sixty pearls. This taste enthralled him for 5126years, and, indeed, may be said never to have left him. He would often 5127spend a whole day settling and resettling in their cases the various 5128stones that he had collected, such as the olive-green chrysoberyl that 5129turns red by lamplight, the cymophane with its wirelike line of silver, 5130the pistachio-coloured peridot, rose-pink and wine-yellow topazes, 5131carbuncles of fiery scarlet with tremulous, four-rayed stars, flame-red 5132cinnamon-stones, orange and violet spinels, and amethysts with their 5133alternate layers of ruby and sapphire. He loved the red gold of the 5134sunstone, and the moonstone's pearly whiteness, and the broken rainbow 5135of the milky opal. He procured from Amsterdam three emeralds of 5136extraordinary size and richness of colour, and had a turquoise _de la 5137vieille roche_ that was the envy of all the connoisseurs. 5138 5139He discovered wonderful stories, also, about jewels. In Alphonso's 5140Clericalis Disciplina a serpent was mentioned with eyes of real 5141jacinth, and in the romantic history of Alexander, the Conqueror of 5142Emathia was said to have found in the vale of Jordan snakes "with 5143collars of real emeralds growing on their backs." There was a gem in 5144the brain of the dragon, Philostratus told us, and "by the exhibition 5145of golden letters and a scarlet robe" the monster could be thrown into 5146a magical sleep and slain. According to the great alchemist, Pierre de 5147Boniface, the diamond rendered a man invisible, and the agate of India 5148made him eloquent. The cornelian appeased anger, and the hyacinth 5149provoked sleep, and the amethyst drove away the fumes of wine. The 5150garnet cast out demons, and the hydropicus deprived the moon of her 5151colour. The selenite waxed and waned with the moon, and the meloceus, 5152that discovers thieves, could be affected only by the blood of kids. 5153Leonardus Camillus had seen a white stone taken from the brain of a 5154newly killed toad, that was a certain antidote against poison. The 5155bezoar, that was found in the heart of the Arabian deer, was a charm 5156that could cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds was the 5157aspilates, that, according to Democritus, kept the wearer from any 5158danger by fire. 5159 5160The King of Ceilan rode through his city with a large ruby in his hand, 5161as the ceremony of his coronation. The gates of the palace of John the 5162Priest were "made of sardius, with the horn of the horned snake 5163inwrought, so that no man might bring poison within." Over the gable 5164were "two golden apples, in which were two carbuncles," so that the 5165gold might shine by day and the carbuncles by night. In Lodge's 5166strange romance 'A Margarite of America', it was stated that in the 5167chamber of the queen one could behold "all the chaste ladies of the 5168world, inchased out of silver, looking through fair mirrours of 5169chrysolites, carbuncles, sapphires, and greene emeraults." Marco Polo 5170had seen the inhabitants of Zipangu place rose-coloured pearls in the 5171mouths of the dead. A sea-monster had been enamoured of the pearl that 5172the diver brought to King Perozes, and had slain the thief, and mourned 5173for seven moons over its loss. When the Huns lured the king into the 5174great pit, he flung it away--Procopius tells the story--nor was it ever 5175found again, though the Emperor Anastasius offered five hundred-weight 5176of gold pieces for it. The King of Malabar had shown to a certain 5177Venetian a rosary of three hundred and four pearls, one for every god 5178that he worshipped. 5179 5180When the Duke de Valentinois, son of Alexander VI, visited Louis XII of 5181France, his horse was loaded with gold leaves, according to Brantome, 5182and his cap had double rows of rubies that threw out a great light. 5183Charles of England had ridden in stirrups hung with four hundred and 5184twenty-one diamonds. Richard II had a coat, valued at thirty thousand 5185marks, which was covered with balas rubies. Hall described Henry VIII, 5186on his way to the Tower previous to his coronation, as wearing "a 5187jacket of raised gold, the placard embroidered with diamonds and other 5188rich stones, and a great bauderike about his neck of large balasses." 5189The favourites of James I wore ear-rings of emeralds set in gold 5190filigrane. Edward II gave to Piers Gaveston a suit of red-gold armour 5191studded with jacinths, a collar of gold roses set with 5192turquoise-stones, and a skull-cap _parseme_ with pearls. Henry II wore 5193jewelled gloves reaching to the elbow, and had a hawk-glove sewn with 5194twelve rubies and fifty-two great orients. The ducal hat of Charles 5195the Rash, the last Duke of Burgundy of his race, was hung with 5196pear-shaped pearls and studded with sapphires. 5197 5198How exquisite life had once been! How gorgeous in its pomp and 5199decoration! Even to read of the luxury of the dead was wonderful. 5200 5201Then he turned his attention to embroideries and to the tapestries that 5202performed the office of frescoes in the chill rooms of the northern 5203nations of Europe. As he investigated the subject--and he always had 5204an extraordinary faculty of becoming absolutely absorbed for the moment 5205in whatever he took up--he was almost saddened by the reflection of the 5206ruin that time brought on beautiful and wonderful things. He, at any 5207rate, had escaped that. Summer followed summer, and the yellow 5208jonquils bloomed and died many times, and nights of horror repeated the 5209story of their shame, but he was unchanged. No winter marred his face 5210or stained his flowerlike bloom. How different it was with material 5211things! Where had they passed to? Where was the great crocus-coloured 5212robe, on which the gods fought against the giants, that had been worked 5213by brown girls for the pleasure of Athena? Where the huge velarium 5214that Nero had stretched across the Colosseum at Rome, that Titan sail 5215of purple on which was represented the starry sky, and Apollo driving a 5216chariot drawn by white, gilt-reined steeds? He longed to see the 5217curious table-napkins wrought for the Priest of the Sun, on which were 5218displayed all the dainties and viands that could be wanted for a feast; 5219the mortuary cloth of King Chilperic, with its three hundred golden 5220bees; the fantastic robes that excited the indignation of the Bishop of 5221Pontus and were figured with "lions, panthers, bears, dogs, forests, 5222rocks, hunters--all, in fact, that a painter can copy from nature"; and 5223the coat that Charles of Orleans once wore, on the sleeves of which 5224were embroidered the verses of a song beginning "_Madame, je suis tout 5225joyeux_," the musical accompaniment of the words being wrought in gold 5226thread, and each note, of square shape in those days, formed with four 5227pearls. He read of the room that was prepared at the palace at Rheims 5228for the use of Queen Joan of Burgundy and was decorated with "thirteen 5229hundred and twenty-one parrots, made in broidery, and blazoned with the 5230king's arms, and five hundred and sixty-one butterflies, whose wings 5231were similarly ornamented with the arms of the queen, the whole worked 5232in gold." Catherine de Medicis had a mourning-bed made for her of 5233black velvet powdered with crescents and suns. Its curtains were of 5234damask, with leafy wreaths and garlands, figured upon a gold and silver 5235ground, and fringed along the edges with broideries of pearls, and it 5236stood in a room hung with rows of the queen's devices in cut black 5237velvet upon cloth of silver. Louis XIV had gold embroidered caryatides 5238fifteen feet high in his apartment. The state bed of Sobieski, King of 5239Poland, was made of Smyrna gold brocade embroidered in turquoises with 5240verses from the Koran. Its supports were of silver gilt, beautifully 5241chased, and profusely set with enamelled and jewelled medallions. It 5242had been taken from the Turkish camp before Vienna, and the standard of 5243Mohammed had stood beneath the tremulous gilt of its canopy. 5244 5245And so, for a whole year, he sought to accumulate the most exquisite 5246specimens that he could find of textile and embroidered work, getting 5247the dainty Delhi muslins, finely wrought with gold-thread palmates and 5248stitched over with iridescent beetles' wings; the Dacca gauzes, that 5249from their transparency are known in the East as "woven air," and 5250"running water," and "evening dew"; strange figured cloths from Java; 5251elaborate yellow Chinese hangings; books bound in tawny satins or fair 5252blue silks and wrought with _fleurs-de-lis_, birds and images; veils of 5253_lacis_ worked in Hungary point; Sicilian brocades and stiff Spanish 5254velvets; Georgian work, with its gilt coins, and Japanese _Foukousas_, 5255with their green-toned golds and their marvellously plumaged birds. 5256 5257He had a special passion, also, for ecclesiastical vestments, as indeed 5258he had for everything connected with the service of the Church. In the 5259long cedar chests that lined the west gallery of his house, he had 5260stored away many rare and beautiful specimens of what is really the 5261raiment of the Bride of Christ, who must wear purple and jewels and 5262fine linen that she may hide the pallid macerated body that is worn by 5263the suffering that she seeks for and wounded by self-inflicted pain. 5264He possessed a gorgeous cope of crimson silk and gold-thread damask, 5265figured with a repeating pattern of golden pomegranates set in 5266six-petalled formal blossoms, beyond which on either side was the 5267pine-apple device wrought in seed-pearls. The orphreys were divided 5268into panels representing scenes from the life of the Virgin, and the 5269coronation of the Virgin was figured in coloured silks upon the hood. 5270This was Italian work of the fifteenth century. Another cope was of 5271green velvet, embroidered with heart-shaped groups of acanthus-leaves, 5272from which spread long-stemmed white blossoms, the details of which 5273were picked out with silver thread and coloured crystals. The morse 5274bore a seraph's head in gold-thread raised work. The orphreys were 5275woven in a diaper of red and gold silk, and were starred with 5276medallions of many saints and martyrs, among whom was St. Sebastian. 5277He had chasubles, also, of amber-coloured silk, and blue silk and gold 5278brocade, and yellow silk damask and cloth of gold, figured with 5279representations of the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ, and 5280embroidered with lions and peacocks and other emblems; dalmatics of 5281white satin and pink silk damask, decorated with tulips and dolphins 5282and _fleurs-de-lis_; altar frontals of crimson velvet and blue linen; and 5283many corporals, chalice-veils, and sudaria. In the mystic offices to 5284which such things were put, there was something that quickened his 5285imagination. 5286 5287For these treasures, and everything that he collected in his lovely 5288house, were to be to him means of forgetfulness, modes by which he 5289could escape, for a season, from the fear that seemed to him at times 5290to be almost too great to be borne. Upon the walls of the lonely 5291locked room where he had spent so much of his boyhood, he had hung with 5292his own hands the terrible portrait whose changing features showed him 5293the real degradation of his life, and in front of it had draped the 5294purple-and-gold pall as a curtain. For weeks he would not go there, 5295would forget the hideous painted thing, and get back his light heart, 5296his wonderful joyousness, his passionate absorption in mere existence. 5297Then, suddenly, some night he would creep out of the house, go down to 5298dreadful places near Blue Gate Fields, and stay there, day after day, 5299until he was driven away. On his return he would sit in front of the 5300picture, sometimes loathing it and himself, but filled, at other 5301times, with that pride of individualism that is half the 5302fascination of sin, and smiling with secret pleasure at the misshapen 5303shadow that had to bear the burden that should have been his own. 5304 5305After a few years he could not endure to be long out of England, and 5306gave up the villa that he had shared at Trouville with Lord Henry, as 5307well as the little white walled-in house at Algiers where they had more 5308than once spent the winter. He hated to be separated from the picture 5309that was such a part of his life, and was also afraid that during his 5310absence some one might gain access to the room, in spite of the 5311elaborate bars that he had caused to be placed upon the door. 5312 5313He was quite conscious that this would tell them nothing. It was true 5314that the portrait still preserved, under all the foulness and ugliness 5315of the face, its marked likeness to himself; but what could they learn 5316from that? He would laugh at any one who tried to taunt him. He had 5317not painted it. What was it to him how vile and full of shame it 5318looked? Even if he told them, would they believe it? 5319 5320Yet he was afraid. Sometimes when he was down at his great house in 5321Nottinghamshire, entertaining the fashionable young men of his own rank 5322who were his chief companions, and astounding the county by the wanton 5323luxury and gorgeous splendour of his mode of life, he would suddenly 5324leave his guests and rush back to town to see that the door had not 5325been tampered with and that the picture was still there. What if it 5326should be stolen? The mere thought made him cold with horror. Surely 5327the world would know his secret then. Perhaps the world already 5328suspected it. 5329 5330For, while he fascinated many, there were not a few who distrusted him. 5331He was very nearly blackballed at a West End club of which his birth 5332and social position fully entitled him to become a member, and it was 5333said that on one occasion, when he was brought by a friend into the 5334smoking-room of the Churchill, the Duke of Berwick and another 5335gentleman got up in a marked manner and went out. Curious stories 5336became current about him after he had passed his twenty-fifth year. It 5337was rumoured that he had been seen brawling with foreign sailors in a 5338low den in the distant parts of Whitechapel, and that he consorted with 5339thieves and coiners and knew the mysteries of their trade. His 5340extraordinary absences became notorious, and, when he used to reappear 5341again in society, men would whisper to each other in corners, or pass 5342him with a sneer, or look at him with cold searching eyes, as though 5343they were determined to discover his secret. 5344 5345Of such insolences and attempted slights he, of course, took no notice, 5346and in the opinion of most people his frank debonair manner, his 5347charming boyish smile, and the infinite grace of that wonderful youth 5348that seemed never to leave him, were in themselves a sufficient answer 5349to the calumnies, for so they termed them, that were circulated about 5350him. It was remarked, however, that some of those who had been most 5351intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him. Women who had 5352wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and 5353set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or 5354horror if Dorian Gray entered the room. 5355 5356Yet these whispered scandals only increased in the eyes of many his 5357strange and dangerous charm. His great wealth was a certain element of 5358security. Society--civilized society, at least--is never very ready to 5359believe anything to the detriment of those who are both rich and 5360fascinating. It feels instinctively that manners are of more 5361importance than morals, and, in its opinion, the highest respectability 5362is of much less value than the possession of a good _chef_. And, after 5363all, it is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has 5364given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in his private 5365life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold _entrees_, as 5366Lord Henry remarked once, in a discussion on the subject, and there is 5367possibly a good deal to be said for his view. For the canons of good 5368society are, or should be, the same as the canons of art. Form is 5369absolutely essential to it. It should have the dignity of a ceremony, 5370as well as its unreality, and should combine the insincere character of 5371a romantic play with the wit and beauty that make such plays delightful 5372to us. Is insincerity such a terrible thing? I think not. It is 5373merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities. 5374 5375Such, at any rate, was Dorian Gray's opinion. He used to wonder at the 5376shallow psychology of those who conceive the ego in man as a thing 5377simple, permanent, reliable, and of one essence. To him, man was a 5378being with myriad lives and myriad sensations, a complex multiform 5379creature that bore within itself strange legacies of thought and 5380passion, and whose very flesh was tainted with the monstrous maladies 5381of the dead. He loved to stroll through the gaunt cold picture-gallery 5382of his country house and look at the various portraits of those whose 5383blood flowed in his veins. Here was Philip Herbert, described by 5384Francis Osborne, in his Memoires on the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and 5385King James, as one who was "caressed by the Court for his handsome 5386face, which kept him not long company." Was it young Herbert's life 5387that he sometimes led? Had some strange poisonous germ crept from body 5388to body till it had reached his own? Was it some dim sense of that 5389ruined grace that had made him so suddenly, and almost without cause, 5390give utterance, in Basil Hallward's studio, to the mad prayer that had 5391so changed his life? Here, in gold-embroidered red doublet, jewelled 5392surcoat, and gilt-edged ruff and wristbands, stood Sir Anthony Sherard, 5393with his silver-and-black armour piled at his feet. What had this 5394man's legacy been? Had the lover of Giovanna of Naples bequeathed him 5395some inheritance of sin and shame? Were his own actions merely the 5396dreams that the dead man had not dared to realize? Here, from the 5397fading canvas, smiled Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in her gauze hood, pearl 5398stomacher, and pink slashed sleeves. A flower was in her right hand, 5399and her left clasped an enamelled collar of white and damask roses. On 5400a table by her side lay a mandolin and an apple. There were large 5401green rosettes upon her little pointed shoes. He knew her life, and 5402the strange stories that were told about her lovers. Had he something 5403of her temperament in him? These oval, heavy-lidded eyes seemed to 5404look curiously at him. What of George Willoughby, with his powdered 5405hair and fantastic patches? How evil he looked! The face was 5406saturnine and swarthy, and the sensual lips seemed to be twisted with 5407disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over the lean yellow hands that 5408were so overladen with rings. He had been a macaroni of the eighteenth 5409century, and the friend, in his youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the 5410second Lord Beckenham, the companion of the Prince Regent in his 5411wildest days, and one of the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs. 5412Fitzherbert? How proud and handsome he was, with his chestnut curls 5413and insolent pose! What passions had he bequeathed? The world had 5414looked upon him as infamous. He had led the orgies at Carlton House. 5415The star of the Garter glittered upon his breast. Beside him hung the 5416portrait of his wife, a pallid, thin-lipped woman in black. Her blood, 5417also, stirred within him. How curious it all seemed! And his mother 5418with her Lady Hamilton face and her moist, wine-dashed lips--he knew 5419what he had got from her. He had got from her his beauty, and his 5420passion for the beauty of others. She laughed at him in her loose 5421Bacchante dress. There were vine leaves in her hair. The purple 5422spilled from the cup she was holding. The carnations of the painting 5423had withered, but the eyes were still wonderful in their depth and 5424brilliancy of colour. They seemed to follow him wherever he went. 5425 5426Yet one had ancestors in literature as well as in one's own race, 5427nearer perhaps in type and temperament, many of them, and certainly 5428with an influence of which one was more absolutely conscious. There 5429were times when it appeared to Dorian Gray that the whole of history 5430was merely the record of his own life, not as he had lived it in act 5431and circumstance, but as his imagination had created it for him, as it 5432had been in his brain and in his passions. He felt that he had known 5433them all, those strange terrible figures that had passed across the 5434stage of the world and made sin so marvellous and evil so full of 5435subtlety. It seemed to him that in some mysterious way their lives had 5436been his own. 5437 5438The hero of the wonderful novel that had so influenced his life had 5439himself known this curious fancy. In the seventh chapter he tells how, 5440crowned with laurel, lest lightning might strike him, he had sat, as 5441Tiberius, in a garden at Capri, reading the shameful books of 5442Elephantis, while dwarfs and peacocks strutted round him and the 5443flute-player mocked the swinger of the censer; and, as Caligula, had 5444caroused with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables and supped in 5445an ivory manger with a jewel-frontleted horse; and, as Domitian, had 5446wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking round 5447with haggard eyes for the reflection of the dagger that was to end his 5448days, and sick with that ennui, that terrible _taedium vitae_, that comes 5449on those to whom life denies nothing; and had peered through a clear 5450emerald at the red shambles of the circus and then, in a litter of 5451pearl and purple drawn by silver-shod mules, been carried through the 5452Street of Pomegranates to a House of Gold and heard men cry on Nero 5453Caesar as he passed by; and, as Elagabalus, had painted his face with 5454colours, and plied the distaff among the women, and brought the Moon 5455from Carthage and given her in mystic marriage to the Sun. 5456 5457Over and over again Dorian used to read this fantastic chapter, and the 5458two chapters immediately following, in which, as in some curious 5459tapestries or cunningly wrought enamels, were pictured the awful and 5460beautiful forms of those whom vice and blood and weariness had made 5461monstrous or mad: Filippo, Duke of Milan, who slew his wife and 5462painted her lips with a scarlet poison that her lover might suck death 5463from the dead thing he fondled; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian, known as 5464Paul the Second, who sought in his vanity to assume the title of 5465Formosus, and whose tiara, valued at two hundred thousand florins, was 5466bought at the price of a terrible sin; Gian Maria Visconti, who used 5467hounds to chase living men and whose murdered body was covered with 5468roses by a harlot who had loved him; the Borgia on his white horse, 5469with Fratricide riding beside him and his mantle stained with the blood 5470of Perotto; Pietro Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence, 5471child and minion of Sixtus IV, whose beauty was equalled only by his 5472debauchery, and who received Leonora of Aragon in a pavilion of white 5473and crimson silk, filled with nymphs and centaurs, and gilded a boy 5474that he might serve at the feast as Ganymede or Hylas; Ezzelin, whose 5475melancholy could be cured only by the spectacle of death, and who had a 5476passion for red blood, as other men have for red wine--the son of the 5477Fiend, as was reported, and one who had cheated his father at dice when 5478gambling with him for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who in mockery 5479took the name of Innocent and into whose torpid veins the blood of 5480three lads was infused by a Jewish doctor; Sigismondo Malatesta, the 5481lover of Isotta and the lord of Rimini, whose effigy was burned at Rome 5482as the enemy of God and man, who strangled Polyssena with a napkin, and 5483gave poison to Ginevra d'Este in a cup of emerald, and in honour of a 5484shameful passion built a pagan church for Christian worship; Charles 5485VI, who had so wildly adored his brother's wife that a leper had warned 5486him of the insanity that was coming on him, and who, when his brain had 5487sickened and grown strange, could only be soothed by Saracen cards 5488painted with the images of love and death and madness; and, in his 5489trimmed jerkin and jewelled cap and acanthuslike curls, Grifonetto 5490Baglioni, who slew Astorre with his bride, and Simonetto with his page, 5491and whose comeliness was such that, as he lay dying in the yellow 5492piazza of Perugia, those who had hated him could not choose but weep, 5493and Atalanta, who had cursed him, blessed him. 5494 5495There was a horrible fascination in them all. He saw them at night, 5496and they troubled his imagination in the day. The Renaissance knew of 5497strange manners of poisoning--poisoning by a helmet and a lighted 5498torch, by an embroidered glove and a jewelled fan, by a gilded pomander 5499and by an amber chain. Dorian Gray had been poisoned by a book. There 5500were moments when he looked on evil simply as a mode through which he 5501could realize his conception of the beautiful. 5502 5503 5504 5505CHAPTER 12 5506 5507It was on the ninth of November, the eve of his own thirty-eighth 5508birthday, as he often remembered afterwards. 5509 5510He was walking home about eleven o'clock from Lord Henry's, where he 5511had been dining, and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold 5512and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street, 5513a man passed him in the mist, walking very fast and with the collar of 5514his grey ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand. Dorian 5515recognized him. It was Basil Hallward. A strange sense of fear, for 5516which he could not account, came over him. He made no sign of 5517recognition and went on quickly in the direction of his own house. 5518 5519But Hallward had seen him. Dorian heard him first stopping on the 5520pavement and then hurrying after him. In a few moments, his hand was 5521on his arm. 5522 5523"Dorian! What an extraordinary piece of luck! I have been waiting for 5524you in your library ever since nine o'clock. Finally I took pity on 5525your tired servant and told him to go to bed, as he let me out. I am 5526off to Paris by the midnight train, and I particularly wanted to see 5527you before I left. I thought it was you, or rather your fur coat, as 5528you passed me. But I wasn't quite sure. Didn't you recognize me?" 5529 5530"In this fog, my dear Basil? Why, I can't even recognize Grosvenor 5531Square. I believe my house is somewhere about here, but I don't feel 5532at all certain about it. I am sorry you are going away, as I have not 5533seen you for ages. But I suppose you will be back soon?" 5534 5535"No: I am going to be out of England for six months. I intend to take 5536a studio in Paris and shut myself up till I have finished a great 5537picture I have in my head. However, it wasn't about myself I wanted to 5538talk. Here we are at your door. Let me come in for a moment. I have 5539something to say to you." 5540 5541"I shall be charmed. But won't you miss your train?" said Dorian Gray 5542languidly as he passed up the steps and opened the door with his 5543latch-key. 5544 5545The lamplight struggled out through the fog, and Hallward looked at his 5546watch. "I have heaps of time," he answered. "The train doesn't go 5547till twelve-fifteen, and it is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my 5548way to the club to look for you, when I met you. You see, I shan't 5549have any delay about luggage, as I have sent on my heavy things. All I 5550have with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria in twenty 5551minutes." 5552 5553Dorian looked at him and smiled. "What a way for a fashionable painter 5554to travel! A Gladstone bag and an ulster! Come in, or the fog will 5555get into the house. And mind you don't talk about anything serious. 5556Nothing is serious nowadays. At least nothing should be." 5557 5558Hallward shook his head, as he entered, and followed Dorian into the 5559library. There was a bright wood fire blazing in the large open 5560hearth. The lamps were lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case 5561stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass tumblers, on 5562a little marqueterie table. 5563 5564"You see your servant made me quite at home, Dorian. He gave me 5565everything I wanted, including your best gold-tipped cigarettes. He is 5566a most hospitable creature. I like him much better than the Frenchman 5567you used to have. What has become of the Frenchman, by the bye?" 5568 5569Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I believe he married Lady Radley's 5570maid, and has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker. 5571Anglomania is very fashionable over there now, I hear. It seems silly 5572of the French, doesn't it? But--do you know?--he was not at all a bad 5573servant. I never liked him, but I had nothing to complain about. One 5574often imagines things that are quite absurd. He was really very 5575devoted to me and seemed quite sorry when he went away. Have another 5576brandy-and-soda? Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always take 5577hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some in the next room." 5578 5579"Thanks, I won't have anything more," said the painter, taking his cap 5580and coat off and throwing them on the bag that he had placed in the 5581corner. "And now, my dear fellow, I want to speak to you seriously. 5582Don't frown like that. You make it so much more difficult for me." 5583 5584"What is it all about?" cried Dorian in his petulant way, flinging 5585himself down on the sofa. "I hope it is not about myself. I am tired 5586of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody else." 5587 5588"It is about yourself," answered Hallward in his grave deep voice, "and 5589I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half an hour." 5590 5591Dorian sighed and lit a cigarette. "Half an hour!" he murmured. 5592 5593"It is not much to ask of you, Dorian, and it is entirely for your own 5594sake that I am speaking. I think it right that you should know that 5595the most dreadful things are being said against you in London." 5596 5597"I don't wish to know anything about them. I love scandals about other 5598people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They have not got 5599the charm of novelty." 5600 5601"They must interest you, Dorian. Every gentleman is interested in his 5602good name. You don't want people to talk of you as something vile and 5603degraded. Of course, you have your position, and your wealth, and all 5604that kind of thing. But position and wealth are not everything. Mind 5605you, I don't believe these rumours at all. At least, I can't believe 5606them when I see you. Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man's 5607face. It cannot be concealed. People talk sometimes of secret vices. 5608There are no such things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows 5609itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the 5610moulding of his hands even. Somebody--I won't mention his name, but 5611you know him--came to me last year to have his portrait done. I had 5612never seen him before, and had never heard anything about him at the 5613time, though I have heard a good deal since. He offered an extravagant 5614price. I refused him. There was something in the shape of his fingers 5615that I hated. I know now that I was quite right in what I fancied 5616about him. His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your pure, 5617bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth--I can't 5618believe anything against you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you 5619never come down to the studio now, and when I am away from you, and I 5620hear all these hideous things that people are whispering about you, I 5621don't know what to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of 5622Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so 5623many gentlemen in London will neither go to your house or invite you to 5624theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord Staveley. I met him at dinner 5625last week. Your name happened to come up in conversation, in 5626connection with the miniatures you have lent to the exhibition at the 5627Dudley. Staveley curled his lip and said that you might have the most 5628artistic tastes, but that you were a man whom no pure-minded girl 5629should be allowed to know, and whom no chaste woman should sit in the 5630same room with. I reminded him that I was a friend of yours, and asked 5631him what he meant. He told me. He told me right out before everybody. 5632It was horrible! Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There 5633was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were 5634his great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England 5635with a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian 5636Singleton and his dreadful end? What about Lord Kent's only son and 5637his career? I met his father yesterday in St. James's Street. He 5638seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What about the young Duke of 5639Perth? What sort of life has he got now? What gentleman would 5640associate with him?" 5641 5642"Stop, Basil. You are talking about things of which you know nothing," 5643said Dorian Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of infinite contempt 5644in his voice. "You ask me why Berwick leaves a room when I enter it. 5645It is because I know everything about his life, not because he knows 5646anything about mine. With such blood as he has in his veins, how could 5647his record be clean? You ask me about Henry Ashton and young Perth. 5648Did I teach the one his vices, and the other his debauchery? If Kent's 5649silly son takes his wife from the streets, what is that to me? If 5650Adrian Singleton writes his friend's name across a bill, am I his 5651keeper? I know how people chatter in England. The middle classes air 5652their moral prejudices over their gross dinner-tables, and whisper 5653about what they call the profligacies of their betters in order to try 5654and pretend that they are in smart society and on intimate terms with 5655the people they slander. In this country, it is enough for a man to 5656have distinction and brains for every common tongue to wag against him. 5657And what sort of lives do these people, who pose as being moral, lead 5658themselves? My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land 5659of the hypocrite." 5660 5661"Dorian," cried Hallward, "that is not the question. England is bad 5662enough I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason 5663why I want you to be fine. You have not been fine. One has a right to 5664judge of a man by the effect he has over his friends. Yours seem to 5665lose all sense of honour, of goodness, of purity. You have filled them 5666with a madness for pleasure. They have gone down into the depths. You 5667led them there. Yes: you led them there, and yet you can smile, as 5668you are smiling now. And there is worse behind. I know you and Harry 5669are inseparable. Surely for that reason, if for none other, you should 5670not have made his sister's name a by-word." 5671 5672"Take care, Basil. You go too far." 5673 5674"I must speak, and you must listen. You shall listen. When you met 5675Lady Gwendolen, not a breath of scandal had ever touched her. Is there 5676a single decent woman in London now who would drive with her in the 5677park? Why, even her children are not allowed to live with her. Then 5678there are other stories--stories that you have been seen creeping at 5679dawn out of dreadful houses and slinking in disguise into the foulest 5680dens in London. Are they true? Can they be true? When I first heard 5681them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they make me shudder. What 5682about your country-house and the life that is led there? Dorian, you 5683don't know what is said about you. I won't tell you that I don't want 5684to preach to you. I remember Harry saying once that every man who 5685turned himself into an amateur curate for the moment always began by 5686saying that, and then proceeded to break his word. I do want to preach 5687to you. I want you to lead such a life as will make the world respect 5688you. I want you to have a clean name and a fair record. I want you to 5689get rid of the dreadful people you associate with. Don't shrug your 5690shoulders like that. Don't be so indifferent. You have a wonderful 5691influence. Let it be for good, not for evil. They say that you 5692corrupt every one with whom you become intimate, and that it is quite 5693sufficient for you to enter a house for shame of some kind to follow 5694after. I don't know whether it is so or not. How should I know? But 5695it is said of you. I am told things that it seems impossible to doubt. 5696Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at Oxford. He showed me 5697a letter that his wife had written to him when she was dying alone in 5698her villa at Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most terrible 5699confession I ever read. I told him that it was absurd--that I knew you 5700thoroughly and that you were incapable of anything of the kind. Know 5701you? I wonder do I know you? Before I could answer that, I should 5702have to see your soul." 5703 5704"To see my soul!" muttered Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and 5705turning almost white from fear. 5706 5707"Yes," answered Hallward gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his 5708voice, "to see your soul. But only God can do that." 5709 5710A bitter laugh of mockery broke from the lips of the younger man. "You 5711shall see it yourself, to-night!" he cried, seizing a lamp from the 5712table. "Come: it is your own handiwork. Why shouldn't you look at 5713it? You can tell the world all about it afterwards, if you choose. 5714Nobody would believe you. If they did believe you, they would like me 5715all the better for it. I know the age better than you do, though you 5716will prate about it so tediously. Come, I tell you. You have 5717chattered enough about corruption. Now you shall look on it face to 5718face." 5719 5720There was the madness of pride in every word he uttered. He stamped 5721his foot upon the ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt a 5722terrible joy at the thought that some one else was to share his secret, 5723and that the man who had painted the portrait that was the origin of 5724all his shame was to be burdened for the rest of his life with the 5725hideous memory of what he had done. 5726 5727"Yes," he continued, coming closer to him and looking steadfastly into 5728his stern eyes, "I shall show you my soul. You shall see the thing 5729that you fancy only God can see." 5730 5731Hallward started back. "This is blasphemy, Dorian!" he cried. "You 5732must not say things like that. They are horrible, and they don't mean 5733anything." 5734 5735"You think so?" He laughed again. 5736 5737"I know so. As for what I said to you to-night, I said it for your 5738good. You know I have been always a stanch friend to you." 5739 5740"Don't touch me. Finish what you have to say." 5741 5742A twisted flash of pain shot across the painter's face. He paused for 5743a moment, and a wild feeling of pity came over him. After all, what 5744right had he to pry into the life of Dorian Gray? If he had done a 5745tithe of what was rumoured about him, how much he must have suffered! 5746Then he straightened himself up, and walked over to the fire-place, and 5747stood there, looking at the burning logs with their frostlike ashes and 5748their throbbing cores of flame. 5749 5750"I am waiting, Basil," said the young man in a hard clear voice. 5751 5752He turned round. "What I have to say is this," he cried. "You must 5753give me some answer to these horrible charges that are made against 5754you. If you tell me that they are absolutely untrue from beginning to 5755end, I shall believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them! Can't you see 5756what I am going through? My God! don't tell me that you are bad, and 5757corrupt, and shameful." 5758 5759Dorian Gray smiled. There was a curl of contempt in his lips. "Come 5760upstairs, Basil," he said quietly. "I keep a diary of my life from day 5761to day, and it never leaves the room in which it is written. I shall 5762show it to you if you come with me." 5763 5764"I shall come with you, Dorian, if you wish it. I see I have missed my 5765train. That makes no matter. I can go to-morrow. But don't ask me to 5766read anything to-night. All I want is a plain answer to my question." 5767 5768"That shall be given to you upstairs. I could not give it here. You 5769will not have to read long." 5770 5771 5772 5773CHAPTER 13 5774 5775He passed out of the room and began the ascent, Basil Hallward 5776following close behind. They walked softly, as men do instinctively at 5777night. The lamp cast fantastic shadows on the wall and staircase. A 5778rising wind made some of the windows rattle. 5779 5780When they reached the top landing, Dorian set the lamp down on the 5781floor, and taking out the key, turned it in the lock. "You insist on 5782knowing, Basil?" he asked in a low voice. 5783 5784"Yes." 5785 5786"I am delighted," he answered, smiling. Then he added, somewhat 5787harshly, "You are the one man in the world who is entitled to know 5788everything about me. You have had more to do with my life than you 5789think"; and, taking up the lamp, he opened the door and went in. A 5790cold current of air passed them, and the light shot up for a moment in 5791a flame of murky orange. He shuddered. "Shut the door behind you," he 5792whispered, as he placed the lamp on the table. 5793 5794Hallward glanced round him with a puzzled expression. The room looked 5795as if it had not been lived in for years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a 5796curtained picture, an old Italian _cassone_, and an almost empty 5797book-case--that was all that it seemed to contain, besides a chair and 5798a table. As Dorian Gray was lighting a half-burned candle that was 5799standing on the mantelshelf, he saw that the whole place was covered 5800with dust and that the carpet was in holes. A mouse ran scuffling 5801behind the wainscoting. There was a damp odour of mildew. 5802 5803"So you think that it is only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that 5804curtain back, and you will see mine." 5805 5806The voice that spoke was cold and cruel. "You are mad, Dorian, or 5807playing a part," muttered Hallward, frowning. 5808 5809"You won't? Then I must do it myself," said the young man, and he tore 5810the curtain from its rod and flung it on the ground. 5811 5812An exclamation of horror broke from the painter's lips as he saw in the 5813dim light the hideous face on the canvas grinning at him. There was 5814something in its expression that filled him with disgust and loathing. 5815Good heavens! it was Dorian Gray's own face that he was looking at! 5816The horror, whatever it was, had not yet entirely spoiled that 5817marvellous beauty. There was still some gold in the thinning hair and 5818some scarlet on the sensual mouth. The sodden eyes had kept something 5819of the loveliness of their blue, the noble curves had not yet 5820completely passed away from chiselled nostrils and from plastic throat. 5821Yes, it was Dorian himself. But who had done it? He seemed to 5822recognize his own brushwork, and the frame was his own design. The 5823idea was monstrous, yet he felt afraid. He seized the lighted candle, 5824and held it to the picture. In the left-hand corner was his own name, 5825traced in long letters of bright vermilion. 5826 5827It was some foul parody, some infamous ignoble satire. He had never 5828done that. Still, it was his own picture. He knew it, and he felt as 5829if his blood had changed in a moment from fire to sluggish ice. His 5830own picture! What did it mean? Why had it altered? He turned and 5831looked at Dorian Gray with the eyes of a sick man. His mouth twitched, 5832and his parched tongue seemed unable to articulate. He passed his hand 5833across his forehead. It was dank with clammy sweat. 5834 5835The young man was leaning against the mantelshelf, watching him with 5836that strange expression that one sees on the faces of those who are 5837absorbed in a play when some great artist is acting. There was neither 5838real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of the 5839spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in his eyes. He had taken 5840the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or pretending to do so. 5841 5842"What does this mean?" cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded 5843shrill and curious in his ears. 5844 5845"Years ago, when I was a boy," said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in 5846his hand, "you met me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my 5847good looks. One day you introduced me to a friend of yours, who 5848explained to me the wonder of youth, and you finished a portrait of me 5849that revealed to me the wonder of beauty. In a mad moment that, even 5850now, I don't know whether I regret or not, I made a wish, perhaps you 5851would call it a prayer...." 5852 5853"I remember it! Oh, how well I remember it! No! the thing is 5854impossible. The room is damp. Mildew has got into the canvas. The 5855paints I used had some wretched mineral poison in them. I tell you the 5856thing is impossible." 5857 5858"Ah, what is impossible?" murmured the young man, going over to the 5859window and leaning his forehead against the cold, mist-stained glass. 5860 5861"You told me you had destroyed it." 5862 5863"I was wrong. It has destroyed me." 5864 5865"I don't believe it is my picture." 5866 5867"Can't you see your ideal in it?" said Dorian bitterly. 5868 5869"My ideal, as you call it..." 5870 5871"As you called it." 5872 5873"There was nothing evil in it, nothing shameful. You were to me such 5874an ideal as I shall never meet again. This is the face of a satyr." 5875 5876"It is the face of my soul." 5877 5878"Christ! what a thing I must have worshipped! It has the eyes of a 5879devil." 5880 5881"Each of us has heaven and hell in him, Basil," cried Dorian with a 5882wild gesture of despair. 5883 5884Hallward turned again to the portrait and gazed at it. "My God! If it 5885is true," he exclaimed, "and this is what you have done with your life, 5886why, you must be worse even than those who talk against you fancy you 5887to be!" He held the light up again to the canvas and examined it. The 5888surface seemed to be quite undisturbed and as he had left it. It was 5889from within, apparently, that the foulness and horror had come. 5890Through some strange quickening of inner life the leprosies of sin were 5891slowly eating the thing away. The rotting of a corpse in a watery 5892grave was not so fearful. 5893 5894His hand shook, and the candle fell from its socket on the floor and 5895lay there sputtering. He placed his foot on it and put it out. Then 5896he flung himself into the rickety chair that was standing by the table 5897and buried his face in his hands. 5898 5899"Good God, Dorian, what a lesson! What an awful lesson!" There was no 5900answer, but he could hear the young man sobbing at the window. "Pray, 5901Dorian, pray," he murmured. "What is it that one was taught to say in 5902one's boyhood? 'Lead us not into temptation. Forgive us our sins. 5903Wash away our iniquities.' Let us say that together. The prayer of 5904your pride has been answered. The prayer of your repentance will be 5905answered also. I worshipped you too much. I am punished for it. You 5906worshipped yourself too much. We are both punished." 5907 5908Dorian Gray turned slowly around and looked at him with tear-dimmed 5909eyes. "It is too late, Basil," he faltered. 5910 5911"It is never too late, Dorian. Let us kneel down and try if we cannot 5912remember a prayer. Isn't there a verse somewhere, 'Though your sins be 5913as scarlet, yet I will make them as white as snow'?" 5914 5915"Those words mean nothing to me now." 5916 5917"Hush! Don't say that. You have done enough evil in your life. My 5918God! Don't you see that accursed thing leering at us?" 5919 5920Dorian Gray glanced at the picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable 5921feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward came over him, as though it had 5922been suggested to him by the image on the canvas, whispered into his 5923ear by those grinning lips. The mad passions of a hunted animal 5924stirred within him, and he loathed the man who was seated at the table, 5925more than in his whole life he had ever loathed anything. He glanced 5926wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the painted chest 5927that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It was a 5928knife that he had brought up, some days before, to cut a piece of cord, 5929and had forgotten to take away with him. He moved slowly towards it, 5930passing Hallward as he did so. As soon as he got behind him, he seized 5931it and turned round. Hallward stirred in his chair as if he was going 5932to rise. He rushed at him and dug the knife into the great vein that 5933is behind the ear, crushing the man's head down on the table and 5934stabbing again and again. 5935 5936There was a stifled groan and the horrible sound of some one choking 5937with blood. Three times the outstretched arms shot up convulsively, 5938waving grotesque, stiff-fingered hands in the air. He stabbed him 5939twice more, but the man did not move. Something began to trickle on 5940the floor. He waited for a moment, still pressing the head down. Then 5941he threw the knife on the table, and listened. 5942 5943He could hear nothing, but the drip, drip on the threadbare carpet. He 5944opened the door and went out on the landing. The house was absolutely 5945quiet. No one was about. For a few seconds he stood bending over the 5946balustrade and peering down into the black seething well of darkness. 5947Then he took out the key and returned to the room, locking himself in 5948as he did so. 5949 5950The thing was still seated in the chair, straining over the table with 5951bowed head, and humped back, and long fantastic arms. Had it not been 5952for the red jagged tear in the neck and the clotted black pool that was 5953slowly widening on the table, one would have said that the man was 5954simply asleep. 5955 5956How quickly it had all been done! He felt strangely calm, and walking 5957over to the window, opened it and stepped out on the balcony. The wind 5958had blown the fog away, and the sky was like a monstrous peacock's 5959tail, starred with myriads of golden eyes. He looked down and saw the 5960policeman going his rounds and flashing the long beam of his lantern on 5961the doors of the silent houses. The crimson spot of a prowling hansom 5962gleamed at the corner and then vanished. A woman in a fluttering shawl 5963was creeping slowly by the railings, staggering as she went. Now and 5964then she stopped and peered back. Once, she began to sing in a hoarse 5965voice. The policeman strolled over and said something to her. She 5966stumbled away, laughing. A bitter blast swept across the square. The 5967gas-lamps flickered and became blue, and the leafless trees shook their 5968black iron branches to and fro. He shivered and went back, closing the 5969window behind him. 5970 5971Having reached the door, he turned the key and opened it. He did not 5972even glance at the murdered man. He felt that the secret of the whole 5973thing was not to realize the situation. The friend who had painted the 5974fatal portrait to which all his misery had been due had gone out of his 5975life. That was enough. 5976 5977Then he remembered the lamp. It was a rather curious one of Moorish 5978workmanship, made of dull silver inlaid with arabesques of burnished 5979steel, and studded with coarse turquoises. Perhaps it might be missed 5980by his servant, and questions would be asked. He hesitated for a 5981moment, then he turned back and took it from the table. He could not 5982help seeing the dead thing. How still it was! How horribly white the 5983long hands looked! It was like a dreadful wax image. 5984 5985Having locked the door behind him, he crept quietly downstairs. The 5986woodwork creaked and seemed to cry out as if in pain. He stopped 5987several times and waited. No: everything was still. It was merely 5988the sound of his own footsteps. 5989 5990When he reached the library, he saw the bag and coat in the corner. 5991They must be hidden away somewhere. He unlocked a secret press that 5992was in the wainscoting, a press in which he kept his own curious 5993disguises, and put them into it. He could easily burn them afterwards. 5994Then he pulled out his watch. It was twenty minutes to two. 5995 5996He sat down and began to think. Every year--every month, almost--men 5997were strangled in England for what he had done. There had been a 5998madness of murder in the air. Some red star had come too close to the 5999earth.... And yet, what evidence was there against him? Basil Hallward 6000had left the house at eleven. No one had seen him come in again. Most 6001of the servants were at Selby Royal. His valet had gone to bed.... 6002Paris! Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, and by the midnight 6003train, as he had intended. With his curious reserved habits, it would 6004be months before any suspicions would be roused. Months! Everything 6005could be destroyed long before then. 6006 6007A sudden thought struck him. He put on his fur coat and hat and went 6008out into the hall. There he paused, hearing the slow heavy tread of 6009the policeman on the pavement outside and seeing the flash of the 6010bull's-eye reflected in the window. He waited and held his breath. 6011 6012After a few moments he drew back the latch and slipped out, shutting 6013the door very gently behind him. Then he began ringing the bell. In 6014about five minutes his valet appeared, half-dressed and looking very 6015drowsy. 6016 6017"I am sorry to have had to wake you up, Francis," he said, stepping in; 6018"but I had forgotten my latch-key. What time is it?" 6019 6020"Ten minutes past two, sir," answered the man, looking at the clock and 6021blinking. 6022 6023"Ten minutes past two? How horribly late! You must wake me at nine 6024to-morrow. I have some work to do." 6025 6026"All right, sir." 6027 6028"Did any one call this evening?" 6029 6030"Mr. Hallward, sir. He stayed here till eleven, and then he went away 6031to catch his train." 6032 6033"Oh! I am sorry I didn't see him. Did he leave any message?" 6034 6035"No, sir, except that he would write to you from Paris, if he did not 6036find you at the club." 6037 6038"That will do, Francis. Don't forget to call me at nine to-morrow." 6039 6040"No, sir." 6041 6042The man shambled down the passage in his slippers. 6043 6044Dorian Gray threw his hat and coat upon the table and passed into the 6045library. For a quarter of an hour he walked up and down the room, 6046biting his lip and thinking. Then he took down the Blue Book from one 6047of the shelves and began to turn over the leaves. "Alan Campbell, 152, 6048Hertford Street, Mayfair." Yes; that was the man he wanted. 6049 6050 6051 6052CHAPTER 14 6053 6054At nine o'clock the next morning his servant came in with a cup of 6055chocolate on a tray and opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping quite 6056peacefully, lying on his right side, with one hand underneath his 6057cheek. He looked like a boy who had been tired out with play, or study. 6058 6059The man had to touch him twice on the shoulder before he woke, and as 6060he opened his eyes a faint smile passed across his lips, as though he 6061had been lost in some delightful dream. Yet he had not dreamed at all. 6062His night had been untroubled by any images of pleasure or of pain. 6063But youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms. 6064 6065He turned round, and leaning upon his elbow, began to sip his 6066chocolate. The mellow November sun came streaming into the room. The 6067sky was bright, and there was a genial warmth in the air. It was 6068almost like a morning in May. 6069 6070Gradually the events of the preceding night crept with silent, 6071blood-stained feet into his brain and reconstructed themselves there 6072with terrible distinctness. He winced at the memory of all that he had 6073suffered, and for a moment the same curious feeling of loathing for 6074Basil Hallward that had made him kill him as he sat in the chair came 6075back to him, and he grew cold with passion. The dead man was still 6076sitting there, too, and in the sunlight now. How horrible that was! 6077Such hideous things were for the darkness, not for the day. 6078 6079He felt that if he brooded on what he had gone through he would sicken 6080or grow mad. There were sins whose fascination was more in the memory 6081than in the doing of them, strange triumphs that gratified the pride 6082more than the passions, and gave to the intellect a quickened sense of 6083joy, greater than any joy they brought, or could ever bring, to the 6084senses. But this was not one of them. It was a thing to be driven out 6085of the mind, to be drugged with poppies, to be strangled lest it might 6086strangle one itself. 6087 6088When the half-hour struck, he passed his hand across his forehead, and 6089then got up hastily and dressed himself with even more than his usual 6090care, giving a good deal of attention to the choice of his necktie and 6091scarf-pin and changing his rings more than once. He spent a long time 6092also over breakfast, tasting the various dishes, talking to his valet 6093about some new liveries that he was thinking of getting made for the 6094servants at Selby, and going through his correspondence. At some of 6095the letters, he smiled. Three of them bored him. One he read several 6096times over and then tore up with a slight look of annoyance in his 6097face. "That awful thing, a woman's memory!" as Lord Henry had once 6098said. 6099 6100After he had drunk his cup of black coffee, he wiped his lips slowly 6101with a napkin, motioned to his servant to wait, and going over to the 6102table, sat down and wrote two letters. One he put in his pocket, the 6103other he handed to the valet. 6104 6105"Take this round to 152, Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell 6106is out of town, get his address." 6107 6108As soon as he was alone, he lit a cigarette and began sketching upon a 6109piece of paper, drawing first flowers and bits of architecture, and 6110then human faces. Suddenly he remarked that every face that he drew 6111seemed to have a fantastic likeness to Basil Hallward. He frowned, and 6112getting up, went over to the book-case and took out a volume at hazard. 6113He was determined that he would not think about what had happened until 6114it became absolutely necessary that he should do so. 6115 6116When he had stretched himself on the sofa, he looked at the title-page 6117of the book. It was Gautier's Emaux et Camees, Charpentier's 6118Japanese-paper edition, with the Jacquemart etching. The binding was 6119of citron-green leather, with a design of gilt trellis-work and dotted 6120pomegranates. It had been given to him by Adrian Singleton. As he 6121turned over the pages, his eye fell on the poem about the hand of 6122Lacenaire, the cold yellow hand "_du supplice encore mal lavee_," with 6123its downy red hairs and its "_doigts de faune_." He glanced at his own 6124white taper fingers, shuddering slightly in spite of himself, and 6125passed on, till he came to those lovely stanzas upon Venice: 6126 6127 Sur une gamme chromatique, 6128 Le sein de perles ruisselant, 6129 La Venus de l'Adriatique 6130 Sort de l'eau son corps rose et blanc. 6131 6132 Les domes, sur l'azur des ondes 6133 Suivant la phrase au pur contour, 6134 S'enflent comme des gorges rondes 6135 Que souleve un soupir d'amour. 6136 6137 L'esquif aborde et me depose, 6138 Jetant son amarre au pilier, 6139 Devant une facade rose, 6140 Sur le marbre d'un escalier. 6141 6142 6143How exquisite they were! As one read them, one seemed to be floating 6144down the green water-ways of the pink and pearl city, seated in a black 6145gondola with silver prow and trailing curtains. The mere lines looked 6146to him like those straight lines of turquoise-blue that follow one as 6147one pushes out to the Lido. The sudden flashes of colour reminded him 6148of the gleam of the opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter round the 6149tall honeycombed Campanile, or stalk, with such stately grace, through 6150the dim, dust-stained arcades. Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he 6151kept saying over and over to himself: 6152 6153 "Devant une facade rose, 6154 Sur le marbre d'un escalier." 6155 6156The whole of Venice was in those two lines. He remembered the autumn 6157that he had passed there, and a wonderful love that had stirred him to 6158mad delightful follies. There was romance in every place. But Venice, 6159like Oxford, had kept the background for romance, and, to the true 6160romantic, background was everything, or almost everything. Basil had 6161been with him part of the time, and had gone wild over Tintoret. Poor 6162Basil! What a horrible way for a man to die! 6163 6164He sighed, and took up the volume again, and tried to forget. He read 6165of the swallows that fly in and out of the little _cafe_ at Smyrna where 6166the Hadjis sit counting their amber beads and the turbaned merchants 6167smoke their long tasselled pipes and talk gravely to each other; he 6168read of the Obelisk in the Place de la Concorde that weeps tears of 6169granite in its lonely sunless exile and longs to be back by the hot, 6170lotus-covered Nile, where there are Sphinxes, and rose-red ibises, and 6171white vultures with gilded claws, and crocodiles with small beryl eyes 6172that crawl over the green steaming mud; he began to brood over those 6173verses which, drawing music from kiss-stained marble, tell of that 6174curious statue that Gautier compares to a contralto voice, the "_monstre 6175charmant_" that couches in the porphyry-room of the Louvre. But after a 6176time the book fell from his hand. He grew nervous, and a horrible fit 6177of terror came over him. What if Alan Campbell should be out of 6178England? Days would elapse before he could come back. Perhaps he 6179might refuse to come. What could he do then? Every moment was of 6180vital importance. 6181 6182They had been great friends once, five years before--almost 6183inseparable, indeed. Then the intimacy had come suddenly to an end. 6184When they met in society now, it was only Dorian Gray who smiled: Alan 6185Campbell never did. 6186 6187He was an extremely clever young man, though he had no real 6188appreciation of the visible arts, and whatever little sense of the 6189beauty of poetry he possessed he had gained entirely from Dorian. His 6190dominant intellectual passion was for science. At Cambridge he had 6191spent a great deal of his time working in the laboratory, and had taken 6192a good class in the Natural Science Tripos of his year. Indeed, he was 6193still devoted to the study of chemistry, and had a laboratory of his 6194own in which he used to shut himself up all day long, greatly to the 6195annoyance of his mother, who had set her heart on his standing for 6196Parliament and had a vague idea that a chemist was a person who made up 6197prescriptions. He was an excellent musician, however, as well, and 6198played both the violin and the piano better than most amateurs. In 6199fact, it was music that had first brought him and Dorian Gray 6200together--music and that indefinable attraction that Dorian seemed to 6201be able to exercise whenever he wished--and, indeed, exercised often 6202without being conscious of it. They had met at Lady Berkshire's the 6203night that Rubinstein played there, and after that used to be always 6204seen together at the opera and wherever good music was going on. For 6205eighteen months their intimacy lasted. Campbell was always either at 6206Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. To him, as to many others, Dorian 6207Gray was the type of everything that is wonderful and fascinating in 6208life. Whether or not a quarrel had taken place between them no one 6209ever knew. But suddenly people remarked that they scarcely spoke when 6210they met and that Campbell seemed always to go away early from any 6211party at which Dorian Gray was present. He had changed, too--was 6212strangely melancholy at times, appeared almost to dislike hearing 6213music, and would never himself play, giving as his excuse, when he was 6214called upon, that he was so absorbed in science that he had no time 6215left in which to practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he 6216seemed to become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once 6217or twice in some of the scientific reviews in connection with certain 6218curious experiments. 6219 6220This was the man Dorian Gray was waiting for. Every second he kept 6221glancing at the clock. As the minutes went by he became horribly 6222agitated. At last he got up and began to pace up and down the room, 6223looking like a beautiful caged thing. He took long stealthy strides. 6224His hands were curiously cold. 6225 6226The suspense became unbearable. Time seemed to him to be crawling with 6227feet of lead, while he by monstrous winds was being swept towards the 6228jagged edge of some black cleft of precipice. He knew what was waiting 6229for him there; saw it, indeed, and, shuddering, crushed with dank hands 6230his burning lids as though he would have robbed the very brain of sight 6231and driven the eyeballs back into their cave. It was useless. The 6232brain had its own food on which it battened, and the imagination, made 6233grotesque by terror, twisted and distorted as a living thing by pain, 6234danced like some foul puppet on a stand and grinned through moving 6235masks. Then, suddenly, time stopped for him. Yes: that blind, 6236slow-breathing thing crawled no more, and horrible thoughts, time being 6237dead, raced nimbly on in front, and dragged a hideous future from its 6238grave, and showed it to him. He stared at it. Its very horror made 6239him stone. 6240 6241At last the door opened and his servant entered. He turned glazed eyes 6242upon him. 6243 6244"Mr. Campbell, sir," said the man. 6245 6246A sigh of relief broke from his parched lips, and the colour came back 6247to his cheeks. 6248 6249"Ask him to come in at once, Francis." He felt that he was himself 6250again. His mood of cowardice had passed away. 6251 6252The man bowed and retired. In a few moments, Alan Campbell walked in, 6253looking very stern and rather pale, his pallor being intensified by his 6254coal-black hair and dark eyebrows. 6255 6256"Alan! This is kind of you. I thank you for coming." 6257 6258"I had intended never to enter your house again, Gray. But you said it 6259was a matter of life and death." His voice was hard and cold. He 6260spoke with slow deliberation. There was a look of contempt in the 6261steady searching gaze that he turned on Dorian. He kept his hands in 6262the pockets of his Astrakhan coat, and seemed not to have noticed the 6263gesture with which he had been greeted. 6264 6265"Yes: it is a matter of life and death, Alan, and to more than one 6266person. Sit down." 6267 6268Campbell took a chair by the table, and Dorian sat opposite to him. 6269The two men's eyes met. In Dorian's there was infinite pity. He knew 6270that what he was going to do was dreadful. 6271 6272After a strained moment of silence, he leaned across and said, very 6273quietly, but watching the effect of each word upon the face of him he 6274had sent for, "Alan, in a locked room at the top of this house, a room 6275to which nobody but myself has access, a dead man is seated at a table. 6276He has been dead ten hours now. Don't stir, and don't look at me like 6277that. Who the man is, why he died, how he died, are matters that do 6278not concern you. What you have to do is this--" 6279 6280"Stop, Gray. I don't want to know anything further. Whether what you 6281have told me is true or not true doesn't concern me. I entirely 6282decline to be mixed up in your life. Keep your horrible secrets to 6283yourself. They don't interest me any more." 6284 6285"Alan, they will have to interest you. This one will have to interest 6286you. I am awfully sorry for you, Alan. But I can't help myself. You 6287are the one man who is able to save me. I am forced to bring you into 6288the matter. I have no option. Alan, you are scientific. You know 6289about chemistry and things of that kind. You have made experiments. 6290What you have got to do is to destroy the thing that is upstairs--to 6291destroy it so that not a vestige of it will be left. Nobody saw this 6292person come into the house. Indeed, at the present moment he is 6293supposed to be in Paris. He will not be missed for months. When he is 6294missed, there must be no trace of him found here. You, Alan, you must 6295change him, and everything that belongs to him, into a handful of ashes 6296that I may scatter in the air." 6297 6298"You are mad, Dorian." 6299 6300"Ah! I was waiting for you to call me Dorian." 6301 6302"You are mad, I tell you--mad to imagine that I would raise a finger to 6303help you, mad to make this monstrous confession. I will have nothing 6304to do with this matter, whatever it is. Do you think I am going to 6305peril my reputation for you? What is it to me what devil's work you 6306are up to?" 6307 6308"It was suicide, Alan." 6309 6310"I am glad of that. But who drove him to it? You, I should fancy." 6311 6312"Do you still refuse to do this for me?" 6313 6314"Of course I refuse. I will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I 6315don't care what shame comes on you. You deserve it all. I should not 6316be sorry to see you disgraced, publicly disgraced. How dare you ask 6317me, of all men in the world, to mix myself up in this horror? I should 6318have thought you knew more about people's characters. Your friend Lord 6319Henry Wotton can't have taught you much about psychology, whatever else 6320he has taught you. Nothing will induce me to stir a step to help you. 6321You have come to the wrong man. Go to some of your friends. Don't 6322come to me." 6323 6324"Alan, it was murder. I killed him. You don't know what he had made 6325me suffer. Whatever my life is, he had more to do with the making or 6326the marring of it than poor Harry has had. He may not have intended 6327it, the result was the same." 6328 6329"Murder! Good God, Dorian, is that what you have come to? I shall not 6330inform upon you. It is not my business. Besides, without my stirring 6331in the matter, you are certain to be arrested. Nobody ever commits a 6332crime without doing something stupid. But I will have nothing to do 6333with it." 6334 6335"You must have something to do with it. Wait, wait a moment; listen to 6336me. Only listen, Alan. All I ask of you is to perform a certain 6337scientific experiment. You go to hospitals and dead-houses, and the 6338horrors that you do there don't affect you. If in some hideous 6339dissecting-room or fetid laboratory you found this man lying on a 6340leaden table with red gutters scooped out in it for the blood to flow 6341through, you would simply look upon him as an admirable subject. You 6342would not turn a hair. You would not believe that you were doing 6343anything wrong. On the contrary, you would probably feel that you were 6344benefiting the human race, or increasing the sum of knowledge in the 6345world, or gratifying intellectual curiosity, or something of that kind. 6346What I want you to do is merely what you have often done before. 6347Indeed, to destroy a body must be far less horrible than what you are 6348accustomed to work at. And, remember, it is the only piece of evidence 6349against me. If it is discovered, I am lost; and it is sure to be 6350discovered unless you help me." 6351 6352"I have no desire to help you. You forget that. I am simply 6353indifferent to the whole thing. It has nothing to do with me." 6354 6355"Alan, I entreat you. Think of the position I am in. Just before you 6356came I almost fainted with terror. You may know terror yourself some 6357day. No! don't think of that. Look at the matter purely from the 6358scientific point of view. You don't inquire where the dead things on 6359which you experiment come from. Don't inquire now. I have told you 6360too much as it is. But I beg of you to do this. We were friends once, 6361Alan." 6362 6363"Don't speak about those days, Dorian--they are dead." 6364 6365"The dead linger sometimes. The man upstairs will not go away. He is 6366sitting at the table with bowed head and outstretched arms. Alan! 6367Alan! If you don't come to my assistance, I am ruined. Why, they will 6368hang me, Alan! Don't you understand? They will hang me for what I 6369have done." 6370 6371"There is no good in prolonging this scene. I absolutely refuse to do 6372anything in the matter. It is insane of you to ask me." 6373 6374"You refuse?" 6375 6376"Yes." 6377 6378"I entreat you, Alan." 6379 6380"It is useless." 6381 6382The same look of pity came into Dorian Gray's eyes. Then he stretched 6383out his hand, took a piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He 6384read it over twice, folded it carefully, and pushed it across the 6385table. Having done this, he got up and went over to the window. 6386 6387Campbell looked at him in surprise, and then took up the paper, and 6388opened it. As he read it, his face became ghastly pale and he fell 6389back in his chair. A horrible sense of sickness came over him. He 6390felt as if his heart was beating itself to death in some empty hollow. 6391 6392After two or three minutes of terrible silence, Dorian turned round and 6393came and stood behind him, putting his hand upon his shoulder. 6394 6395"I am so sorry for you, Alan," he murmured, "but you leave me no 6396alternative. I have a letter written already. Here it is. You see 6397the address. If you don't help me, I must send it. If you don't help 6398me, I will send it. You know what the result will be. But you are 6399going to help me. It is impossible for you to refuse now. I tried to 6400spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were stern, 6401harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared to treat 6402me--no living man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now it is for me to 6403dictate terms." 6404 6405Campbell buried his face in his hands, and a shudder passed through him. 6406 6407"Yes, it is my turn to dictate terms, Alan. You know what they are. 6408The thing is quite simple. Come, don't work yourself into this fever. 6409The thing has to be done. Face it, and do it." 6410 6411A groan broke from Campbell's lips and he shivered all over. The 6412ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece seemed to him to be dividing 6413time into separate atoms of agony, each of which was too terrible to be 6414borne. He felt as if an iron ring was being slowly tightened round his 6415forehead, as if the disgrace with which he was threatened had already 6416come upon him. The hand upon his shoulder weighed like a hand of lead. 6417It was intolerable. It seemed to crush him. 6418 6419"Come, Alan, you must decide at once." 6420 6421"I cannot do it," he said, mechanically, as though words could alter 6422things. 6423 6424"You must. You have no choice. Don't delay." 6425 6426He hesitated a moment. "Is there a fire in the room upstairs?" 6427 6428"Yes, there is a gas-fire with asbestos." 6429 6430"I shall have to go home and get some things from the laboratory." 6431 6432"No, Alan, you must not leave the house. Write out on a sheet of 6433notepaper what you want and my servant will take a cab and bring the 6434things back to you." 6435 6436Campbell scrawled a few lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope 6437to his assistant. Dorian took the note up and read it carefully. Then 6438he rang the bell and gave it to his valet, with orders to return as 6439soon as possible and to bring the things with him. 6440 6441As the hall door shut, Campbell started nervously, and having got up 6442from the chair, went over to the chimney-piece. He was shivering with a 6443kind of ague. For nearly twenty minutes, neither of the men spoke. A 6444fly buzzed noisily about the room, and the ticking of the clock was 6445like the beat of a hammer. 6446 6447As the chime struck one, Campbell turned round, and looking at Dorian 6448Gray, saw that his eyes were filled with tears. There was something in 6449the purity and refinement of that sad face that seemed to enrage him. 6450"You are infamous, absolutely infamous!" he muttered. 6451 6452"Hush, Alan. You have saved my life," said Dorian. 6453 6454"Your life? Good heavens! what a life that is! You have gone from 6455corruption to corruption, and now you have culminated in crime. In 6456doing what I am going to do--what you force me to do--it is not of your 6457life that I am thinking." 6458 6459"Ah, Alan," murmured Dorian with a sigh, "I wish you had a thousandth 6460part of the pity for me that I have for you." He turned away as he 6461spoke and stood looking out at the garden. Campbell made no answer. 6462 6463After about ten minutes a knock came to the door, and the servant 6464entered, carrying a large mahogany chest of chemicals, with a long coil 6465of steel and platinum wire and two rather curiously shaped iron clamps. 6466 6467"Shall I leave the things here, sir?" he asked Campbell. 6468 6469"Yes," said Dorian. "And I am afraid, Francis, that I have another 6470errand for you. What is the name of the man at Richmond who supplies 6471Selby with orchids?" 6472 6473"Harden, sir." 6474 6475"Yes--Harden. You must go down to Richmond at once, see Harden 6476personally, and tell him to send twice as many orchids as I ordered, 6477and to have as few white ones as possible. In fact, I don't want any 6478white ones. It is a lovely day, Francis, and Richmond is a very pretty 6479place--otherwise I wouldn't bother you about it." 6480 6481"No trouble, sir. At what time shall I be back?" 6482 6483Dorian looked at Campbell. "How long will your experiment take, Alan?" 6484he said in a calm indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in 6485the room seemed to give him extraordinary courage. 6486 6487Campbell frowned and bit his lip. "It will take about five hours," he 6488answered. 6489 6490"It will be time enough, then, if you are back at half-past seven, 6491Francis. Or stay: just leave my things out for dressing. You can 6492have the evening to yourself. I am not dining at home, so I shall not 6493want you." 6494 6495"Thank you, sir," said the man, leaving the room. 6496 6497"Now, Alan, there is not a moment to be lost. How heavy this chest is! 6498I'll take it for you. You bring the other things." He spoke rapidly 6499and in an authoritative manner. Campbell felt dominated by him. They 6500left the room together. 6501 6502When they reached the top landing, Dorian took out the key and turned 6503it in the lock. Then he stopped, and a troubled look came into his 6504eyes. He shuddered. "I don't think I can go in, Alan," he murmured. 6505 6506"It is nothing to me. I don't require you," said Campbell coldly. 6507 6508Dorian half opened the door. As he did so, he saw the face of his 6509portrait leering in the sunlight. On the floor in front of it the torn 6510curtain was lying. He remembered that the night before he had 6511forgotten, for the first time in his life, to hide the fatal canvas, 6512and was about to rush forward, when he drew back with a shudder. 6513 6514What was that loathsome red dew that gleamed, wet and glistening, on 6515one of the hands, as though the canvas had sweated blood? How horrible 6516it was!--more horrible, it seemed to him for the moment, than the 6517silent thing that he knew was stretched across the table, the thing 6518whose grotesque misshapen shadow on the spotted carpet showed him that 6519it had not stirred, but was still there, as he had left it. 6520 6521He heaved a deep breath, opened the door a little wider, and with 6522half-closed eyes and averted head, walked quickly in, determined that 6523he would not look even once upon the dead man. Then, stooping down and 6524taking up the gold-and-purple hanging, he flung it right over the 6525picture. 6526 6527There he stopped, feeling afraid to turn round, and his eyes fixed 6528themselves on the intricacies of the pattern before him. He heard 6529Campbell bringing in the heavy chest, and the irons, and the other 6530things that he had required for his dreadful work. He began to wonder 6531if he and Basil Hallward had ever met, and, if so, what they had 6532thought of each other. 6533 6534"Leave me now," said a stern voice behind him. 6535 6536He turned and hurried out, just conscious that the dead man had been 6537thrust back into the chair and that Campbell was gazing into a 6538glistening yellow face. As he was going downstairs, he heard the key 6539being turned in the lock. 6540 6541It was long after seven when Campbell came back into the library. He 6542was pale, but absolutely calm. "I have done what you asked me to do," 6543he muttered. "And now, good-bye. Let us never see each other again." 6544 6545"You have saved me from ruin, Alan. I cannot forget that," said Dorian 6546simply. 6547 6548As soon as Campbell had left, he went upstairs. There was a horrible 6549smell of nitric acid in the room. But the thing that had been sitting 6550at the table was gone. 6551 6552 6553 6554CHAPTER 15 6555 6556That evening, at eight-thirty, exquisitely dressed and wearing a large 6557button-hole of Parma violets, Dorian Gray was ushered into Lady 6558Narborough's drawing-room by bowing servants. His forehead was 6559throbbing with maddened nerves, and he felt wildly excited, but his 6560manner as he bent over his hostess's hand was as easy and graceful as 6561ever. Perhaps one never seems so much at one's ease as when one has to 6562play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could 6563have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any 6564tragedy of our age. Those finely shaped fingers could never have 6565clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God 6566and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his 6567demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a 6568double life. 6569 6570It was a small party, got up rather in a hurry by Lady Narborough, who 6571was a very clever woman with what Lord Henry used to describe as the 6572remains of really remarkable ugliness. She had proved an excellent 6573wife to one of our most tedious ambassadors, and having buried her 6574husband properly in a marble mausoleum, which she had herself designed, 6575and married off her daughters to some rich, rather elderly men, she 6576devoted herself now to the pleasures of French fiction, French cookery, 6577and French _esprit_ when she could get it. 6578 6579Dorian was one of her especial favourites, and she always told him that 6580she was extremely glad she had not met him in early life. "I know, my 6581dear, I should have fallen madly in love with you," she used to say, 6582"and thrown my bonnet right over the mills for your sake. It is most 6583fortunate that you were not thought of at the time. As it was, our 6584bonnets were so unbecoming, and the mills were so occupied in trying to 6585raise the wind, that I never had even a flirtation with anybody. 6586However, that was all Narborough's fault. He was dreadfully 6587short-sighted, and there is no pleasure in taking in a husband who 6588never sees anything." 6589 6590Her guests this evening were rather tedious. The fact was, as she 6591explained to Dorian, behind a very shabby fan, one of her married 6592daughters had come up quite suddenly to stay with her, and, to make 6593matters worse, had actually brought her husband with her. "I think it 6594is most unkind of her, my dear," she whispered. "Of course I go and 6595stay with them every summer after I come from Homburg, but then an old 6596woman like me must have fresh air sometimes, and besides, I really wake 6597them up. You don't know what an existence they lead down there. It is 6598pure unadulterated country life. They get up early, because they have 6599so much to do, and go to bed early, because they have so little to 6600think about. There has not been a scandal in the neighbourhood since 6601the time of Queen Elizabeth, and consequently they all fall asleep 6602after dinner. You shan't sit next either of them. You shall sit by me 6603and amuse me." 6604 6605Dorian murmured a graceful compliment and looked round the room. Yes: 6606it was certainly a tedious party. Two of the people he had never seen 6607before, and the others consisted of Ernest Harrowden, one of those 6608middle-aged mediocrities so common in London clubs who have no enemies, 6609but are thoroughly disliked by their friends; Lady Ruxton, an 6610overdressed woman of forty-seven, with a hooked nose, who was always 6611trying to get herself compromised, but was so peculiarly plain that to 6612her great disappointment no one would ever believe anything against 6613her; Mrs. Erlynne, a pushing nobody, with a delightful lisp and 6614Venetian-red hair; Lady Alice Chapman, his hostess's daughter, a dowdy 6615dull girl, with one of those characteristic British faces that, once 6616seen, are never remembered; and her husband, a red-cheeked, 6617white-whiskered creature who, like so many of his class, was under the 6618impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of 6619ideas. 6620 6621He was rather sorry he had come, till Lady Narborough, looking at the 6622great ormolu gilt clock that sprawled in gaudy curves on the 6623mauve-draped mantelshelf, exclaimed: "How horrid of Henry Wotton to be 6624so late! I sent round to him this morning on chance and he promised 6625faithfully not to disappoint me." 6626 6627It was some consolation that Harry was to be there, and when the door 6628opened and he heard his slow musical voice lending charm to some 6629insincere apology, he ceased to feel bored. 6630 6631But at dinner he could not eat anything. Plate after plate went away 6632untasted. Lady Narborough kept scolding him for what she called "an 6633insult to poor Adolphe, who invented the _menu_ specially for you," and 6634now and then Lord Henry looked across at him, wondering at his silence 6635and abstracted manner. From time to time the butler filled his glass 6636with champagne. He drank eagerly, and his thirst seemed to increase. 6637 6638"Dorian," said Lord Henry at last, as the _chaud-froid_ was being handed 6639round, "what is the matter with you to-night? You are quite out of 6640sorts." 6641 6642"I believe he is in love," cried Lady Narborough, "and that he is 6643afraid to tell me for fear I should be jealous. He is quite right. I 6644certainly should." 6645 6646"Dear Lady Narborough," murmured Dorian, smiling, "I have not been in 6647love for a whole week--not, in fact, since Madame de Ferrol left town." 6648 6649"How you men can fall in love with that woman!" exclaimed the old lady. 6650"I really cannot understand it." 6651 6652"It is simply because she remembers you when you were a little girl, 6653Lady Narborough," said Lord Henry. "She is the one link between us and 6654your short frocks." 6655 6656"She does not remember my short frocks at all, Lord Henry. But I 6657remember her very well at Vienna thirty years ago, and how _decolletee_ 6658she was then." 6659 6660"She is still _decolletee_," he answered, taking an olive in his long 6661fingers; "and when she is in a very smart gown she looks like an 6662_edition de luxe_ of a bad French novel. She is really wonderful, and 6663full of surprises. Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary. 6664When her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief." 6665 6666"How can you, Harry!" cried Dorian. 6667 6668"It is a most romantic explanation," laughed the hostess. "But her 6669third husband, Lord Henry! You don't mean to say Ferrol is the fourth?" 6670 6671"Certainly, Lady Narborough." 6672 6673"I don't believe a word of it." 6674 6675"Well, ask Mr. Gray. He is one of her most intimate friends." 6676 6677"Is it true, Mr. Gray?" 6678 6679"She assures me so, Lady Narborough," said Dorian. "I asked her 6680whether, like Marguerite de Navarre, she had their hearts embalmed and 6681hung at her girdle. She told me she didn't, because none of them had 6682had any hearts at all." 6683 6684"Four husbands! Upon my word that is _trop de zele_." 6685 6686"_Trop d'audace_, I tell her," said Dorian. 6687 6688"Oh! she is audacious enough for anything, my dear. And what is Ferrol 6689like? I don't know him." 6690 6691"The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes," 6692said Lord Henry, sipping his wine. 6693 6694Lady Narborough hit him with her fan. "Lord Henry, I am not at all 6695surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked." 6696 6697"But what world says that?" asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows. 6698"It can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent 6699terms." 6700 6701"Everybody I know says you are very wicked," cried the old lady, 6702shaking her head. 6703 6704Lord Henry looked serious for some moments. "It is perfectly 6705monstrous," he said, at last, "the way people go about nowadays saying 6706things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely 6707true." 6708 6709"Isn't he incorrigible?" cried Dorian, leaning forward in his chair. 6710 6711"I hope so," said his hostess, laughing. "But really, if you all 6712worship Madame de Ferrol in this ridiculous way, I shall have to marry 6713again so as to be in the fashion." 6714 6715"You will never marry again, Lady Narborough," broke in Lord Henry. 6716"You were far too happy. When a woman marries again, it is because she 6717detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he 6718adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs." 6719 6720"Narborough wasn't perfect," cried the old lady. 6721 6722"If he had been, you would not have loved him, my dear lady," was the 6723rejoinder. "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, 6724they will forgive us everything, even our intellects. You will never 6725ask me to dinner again after saying this, I am afraid, Lady Narborough, 6726but it is quite true." 6727 6728"Of course it is true, Lord Henry. If we women did not love you for 6729your defects, where would you all be? Not one of you would ever be 6730married. You would be a set of unfortunate bachelors. Not, however, 6731that that would alter you much. Nowadays all the married men live like 6732bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men." 6733 6734"_Fin de siecle_," murmured Lord Henry. 6735 6736"_Fin du globe_," answered his hostess. 6737 6738"I wish it were _fin du globe_," said Dorian with a sigh. "Life is a 6739great disappointment." 6740 6741"Ah, my dear," cried Lady Narborough, putting on her gloves, "don't 6742tell me that you have exhausted life. When a man says that one knows 6743that life has exhausted him. Lord Henry is very wicked, and I 6744sometimes wish that I had been; but you are made to be good--you look 6745so good. I must find you a nice wife. Lord Henry, don't you think 6746that Mr. Gray should get married?" 6747 6748"I am always telling him so, Lady Narborough," said Lord Henry with a 6749bow. 6750 6751"Well, we must look out for a suitable match for him. I shall go 6752through Debrett carefully to-night and draw out a list of all the 6753eligible young ladies." 6754 6755"With their ages, Lady Narborough?" asked Dorian. 6756 6757"Of course, with their ages, slightly edited. But nothing must be done 6758in a hurry. I want it to be what _The Morning Post_ calls a suitable 6759alliance, and I want you both to be happy." 6760 6761"What nonsense people talk about happy marriages!" exclaimed Lord 6762Henry. "A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love 6763her." 6764 6765"Ah! what a cynic you are!" cried the old lady, pushing back her chair 6766and nodding to Lady Ruxton. "You must come and dine with me soon 6767again. You are really an admirable tonic, much better than what Sir 6768Andrew prescribes for me. You must tell me what people you would like 6769to meet, though. I want it to be a delightful gathering." 6770 6771"I like men who have a future and women who have a past," he answered. 6772"Or do you think that would make it a petticoat party?" 6773 6774"I fear so," she said, laughing, as she stood up. "A thousand pardons, 6775my dear Lady Ruxton," she added, "I didn't see you hadn't finished your 6776cigarette." 6777 6778"Never mind, Lady Narborough. I smoke a great deal too much. I am 6779going to limit myself, for the future." 6780 6781"Pray don't, Lady Ruxton," said Lord Henry. "Moderation is a fatal 6782thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a 6783feast." 6784 6785Lady Ruxton glanced at him curiously. "You must come and explain that 6786to me some afternoon, Lord Henry. It sounds a fascinating theory," she 6787murmured, as she swept out of the room. 6788 6789"Now, mind you don't stay too long over your politics and scandal," 6790cried Lady Narborough from the door. "If you do, we are sure to 6791squabble upstairs." 6792 6793The men laughed, and Mr. Chapman got up solemnly from the foot of the 6794table and came up to the top. Dorian Gray changed his seat and went 6795and sat by Lord Henry. Mr. Chapman began to talk in a loud voice about 6796the situation in the House of Commons. He guffawed at his adversaries. 6797The word _doctrinaire_--word full of terror to the British 6798mind--reappeared from time to time between his explosions. An 6799alliterative prefix served as an ornament of oratory. He hoisted the 6800Union Jack on the pinnacles of thought. The inherited stupidity of the 6801race--sound English common sense he jovially termed it--was shown to be 6802the proper bulwark for society. 6803 6804A smile curved Lord Henry's lips, and he turned round and looked at 6805Dorian. 6806 6807"Are you better, my dear fellow?" he asked. "You seemed rather out of 6808sorts at dinner." 6809 6810"I am quite well, Harry. I am tired. That is all." 6811 6812"You were charming last night. The little duchess is quite devoted to 6813you. She tells me she is going down to Selby." 6814 6815"She has promised to come on the twentieth." 6816 6817"Is Monmouth to be there, too?" 6818 6819"Oh, yes, Harry." 6820 6821"He bores me dreadfully, almost as much as he bores her. She is very 6822clever, too clever for a woman. She lacks the indefinable charm of 6823weakness. It is the feet of clay that make the gold of the image 6824precious. Her feet are very pretty, but they are not feet of clay. 6825White porcelain feet, if you like. They have been through the fire, 6826and what fire does not destroy, it hardens. She has had experiences." 6827 6828"How long has she been married?" asked Dorian. 6829 6830"An eternity, she tells me. I believe, according to the peerage, it is 6831ten years, but ten years with Monmouth must have been like eternity, 6832with time thrown in. Who else is coming?" 6833 6834"Oh, the Willoughbys, Lord Rugby and his wife, our hostess, Geoffrey 6835Clouston, the usual set. I have asked Lord Grotrian." 6836 6837"I like him," said Lord Henry. "A great many people don't, but I find 6838him charming. He atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed by 6839being always absolutely over-educated. He is a very modern type." 6840 6841"I don't know if he will be able to come, Harry. He may have to go to 6842Monte Carlo with his father." 6843 6844"Ah! what a nuisance people's people are! Try and make him come. By 6845the way, Dorian, you ran off very early last night. You left before 6846eleven. What did you do afterwards? Did you go straight home?" 6847 6848Dorian glanced at him hurriedly and frowned. 6849 6850"No, Harry," he said at last, "I did not get home till nearly three." 6851 6852"Did you go to the club?" 6853 6854"Yes," he answered. Then he bit his lip. "No, I don't mean that. I 6855didn't go to the club. I walked about. I forget what I did.... How 6856inquisitive you are, Harry! You always want to know what one has been 6857doing. I always want to forget what I have been doing. I came in at 6858half-past two, if you wish to know the exact time. I had left my 6859latch-key at home, and my servant had to let me in. If you want any 6860corroborative evidence on the subject, you can ask him." 6861 6862Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "My dear fellow, as if I cared! 6863Let us go up to the drawing-room. No sherry, thank you, Mr. Chapman. 6864Something has happened to you, Dorian. Tell me what it is. You are 6865not yourself to-night." 6866 6867"Don't mind me, Harry. I am irritable, and out of temper. I shall 6868come round and see you to-morrow, or next day. Make my excuses to Lady 6869Narborough. I shan't go upstairs. I shall go home. I must go home." 6870 6871"All right, Dorian. I dare say I shall see you to-morrow at tea-time. 6872The duchess is coming." 6873 6874"I will try to be there, Harry," he said, leaving the room. As he 6875drove back to his own house, he was conscious that the sense of terror 6876he thought he had strangled had come back to him. Lord Henry's casual 6877questioning had made him lose his nerve for the moment, and he wanted 6878his nerve still. Things that were dangerous had to be destroyed. He 6879winced. He hated the idea of even touching them. 6880 6881Yet it had to be done. He realized that, and when he had locked the 6882door of his library, he opened the secret press into which he had 6883thrust Basil Hallward's coat and bag. A huge fire was blazing. He 6884piled another log on it. The smell of the singeing clothes and burning 6885leather was horrible. It took him three-quarters of an hour to consume 6886everything. At the end he felt faint and sick, and having lit some 6887Algerian pastilles in a pierced copper brazier, he bathed his hands and 6888forehead with a cool musk-scented vinegar. 6889 6890Suddenly he started. His eyes grew strangely bright, and he gnawed 6891nervously at his underlip. Between two of the windows stood a large 6892Florentine cabinet, made out of ebony and inlaid with ivory and blue 6893lapis. He watched it as though it were a thing that could fascinate 6894and make afraid, as though it held something that he longed for and yet 6895almost loathed. His breath quickened. A mad craving came over him. 6896He lit a cigarette and then threw it away. His eyelids drooped till 6897the long fringed lashes almost touched his cheek. But he still watched 6898the cabinet. At last he got up from the sofa on which he had been 6899lying, went over to it, and having unlocked it, touched some hidden 6900spring. A triangular drawer passed slowly out. His fingers moved 6901instinctively towards it, dipped in, and closed on something. It was a 6902small Chinese box of black and gold-dust lacquer, elaborately wrought, 6903the sides patterned with curved waves, and the silken cords hung with 6904round crystals and tasselled in plaited metal threads. He opened it. 6905Inside was a green paste, waxy in lustre, the odour curiously heavy and 6906persistent. 6907 6908He hesitated for some moments, with a strangely immobile smile upon his 6909face. Then shivering, though the atmosphere of the room was terribly 6910hot, he drew himself up and glanced at the clock. It was twenty 6911minutes to twelve. He put the box back, shutting the cabinet doors as 6912he did so, and went into his bedroom. 6913 6914As midnight was striking bronze blows upon the dusky air, Dorian Gray, 6915dressed commonly, and with a muffler wrapped round his throat, crept 6916quietly out of his house. In Bond Street he found a hansom with a good 6917horse. He hailed it and in a low voice gave the driver an address. 6918 6919The man shook his head. "It is too far for me," he muttered. 6920 6921"Here is a sovereign for you," said Dorian. "You shall have another if 6922you drive fast." 6923 6924"All right, sir," answered the man, "you will be there in an hour," and 6925after his fare had got in he turned his horse round and drove rapidly 6926towards the river. 6927 6928 6929 6930CHAPTER 16 6931 6932A cold rain began to fall, and the blurred street-lamps looked ghastly 6933in the dripping mist. The public-houses were just closing, and dim men 6934and women were clustering in broken groups round their doors. From 6935some of the bars came the sound of horrible laughter. In others, 6936drunkards brawled and screamed. 6937 6938Lying back in the hansom, with his hat pulled over his forehead, Dorian 6939Gray watched with listless eyes the sordid shame of the great city, and 6940now and then he repeated to himself the words that Lord Henry had said 6941to him on the first day they had met, "To cure the soul by means of the 6942senses, and the senses by means of the soul." Yes, that was the 6943secret. He had often tried it, and would try it again now. There were 6944opium dens where one could buy oblivion, dens of horror where the 6945memory of old sins could be destroyed by the madness of sins that were 6946new. 6947 6948The moon hung low in the sky like a yellow skull. From time to time a 6949huge misshapen cloud stretched a long arm across and hid it. The 6950gas-lamps grew fewer, and the streets more narrow and gloomy. Once the 6951man lost his way and had to drive back half a mile. A steam rose from 6952the horse as it splashed up the puddles. The sidewindows of the hansom 6953were clogged with a grey-flannel mist. 6954 6955"To cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of 6956the soul!" How the words rang in his ears! His soul, certainly, was 6957sick to death. Was it true that the senses could cure it? Innocent 6958blood had been spilled. What could atone for that? Ah! for that there 6959was no atonement; but though forgiveness was impossible, forgetfulness 6960was possible still, and he was determined to forget, to stamp the thing 6961out, to crush it as one would crush the adder that had stung one. 6962Indeed, what right had Basil to have spoken to him as he had done? Who 6963had made him a judge over others? He had said things that were 6964dreadful, horrible, not to be endured. 6965 6966On and on plodded the hansom, going slower, it seemed to him, at each 6967step. He thrust up the trap and called to the man to drive faster. 6968The hideous hunger for opium began to gnaw at him. His throat burned 6969and his delicate hands twitched nervously together. He struck at the 6970horse madly with his stick. The driver laughed and whipped up. He 6971laughed in answer, and the man was silent. 6972 6973The way seemed interminable, and the streets like the black web of some 6974sprawling spider. The monotony became unbearable, and as the mist 6975thickened, he felt afraid. 6976 6977Then they passed by lonely brickfields. The fog was lighter here, and 6978he could see the strange, bottle-shaped kilns with their orange, 6979fanlike tongues of fire. A dog barked as they went by, and far away in 6980the darkness some wandering sea-gull screamed. The horse stumbled in a 6981rut, then swerved aside and broke into a gallop. 6982 6983After some time they left the clay road and rattled again over 6984rough-paven streets. Most of the windows were dark, but now and then 6985fantastic shadows were silhouetted against some lamplit blind. He 6986watched them curiously. They moved like monstrous marionettes and made 6987gestures like live things. He hated them. A dull rage was in his 6988heart. As they turned a corner, a woman yelled something at them from 6989an open door, and two men ran after the hansom for about a hundred 6990yards. The driver beat at them with his whip. 6991 6992It is said that passion makes one think in a circle. Certainly with 6993hideous iteration the bitten lips of Dorian Gray shaped and reshaped 6994those subtle words that dealt with soul and sense, till he had found in 6995them the full expression, as it were, of his mood, and justified, by 6996intellectual approval, passions that without such justification would 6997still have dominated his temper. From cell to cell of his brain crept 6998the one thought; and the wild desire to live, most terrible of all 6999man's appetites, quickened into force each trembling nerve and fibre. 7000Ugliness that had once been hateful to him because it made things real, 7001became dear to him now for that very reason. Ugliness was the one 7002reality. The coarse brawl, the loathsome den, the crude violence of 7003disordered life, the very vileness of thief and outcast, were more 7004vivid, in their intense actuality of impression, than all the gracious 7005shapes of art, the dreamy shadows of song. They were what he needed 7006for forgetfulness. In three days he would be free. 7007 7008Suddenly the man drew up with a jerk at the top of a dark lane. Over 7009the low roofs and jagged chimney-stacks of the houses rose the black 7010masts of ships. Wreaths of white mist clung like ghostly sails to the 7011yards. 7012 7013"Somewhere about here, sir, ain't it?" he asked huskily through the 7014trap. 7015 7016Dorian started and peered round. "This will do," he answered, and 7017having got out hastily and given the driver the extra fare he had 7018promised him, he walked quickly in the direction of the quay. Here and 7019there a lantern gleamed at the stern of some huge merchantman. The 7020light shook and splintered in the puddles. A red glare came from an 7021outward-bound steamer that was coaling. The slimy pavement looked like 7022a wet mackintosh. 7023 7024He hurried on towards the left, glancing back now and then to see if he 7025was being followed. In about seven or eight minutes he reached a small 7026shabby house that was wedged in between two gaunt factories. In one of 7027the top-windows stood a lamp. He stopped and gave a peculiar knock. 7028 7029After a little time he heard steps in the passage and the chain being 7030unhooked. The door opened quietly, and he went in without saying a 7031word to the squat misshapen figure that flattened itself into the 7032shadow as he passed. At the end of the hall hung a tattered green 7033curtain that swayed and shook in the gusty wind which had followed him 7034in from the street. He dragged it aside and entered a long low room 7035which looked as if it had once been a third-rate dancing-saloon. Shrill 7036flaring gas-jets, dulled and distorted in the fly-blown mirrors that 7037faced them, were ranged round the walls. Greasy reflectors of ribbed 7038tin backed them, making quivering disks of light. The floor was 7039covered with ochre-coloured sawdust, trampled here and there into mud, 7040and stained with dark rings of spilled liquor. Some Malays were 7041crouching by a little charcoal stove, playing with bone counters and 7042showing their white teeth as they chattered. In one corner, with his 7043head buried in his arms, a sailor sprawled over a table, and by the 7044tawdrily painted bar that ran across one complete side stood two 7045haggard women, mocking an old man who was brushing the sleeves of his 7046coat with an expression of disgust. "He thinks he's got red ants on 7047him," laughed one of them, as Dorian passed by. The man looked at her 7048in terror and began to whimper. 7049 7050At the end of the room there was a little staircase, leading to a 7051darkened chamber. As Dorian hurried up its three rickety steps, the 7052heavy odour of opium met him. He heaved a deep breath, and his 7053nostrils quivered with pleasure. When he entered, a young man with 7054smooth yellow hair, who was bending over a lamp lighting a long thin 7055pipe, looked up at him and nodded in a hesitating manner. 7056 7057"You here, Adrian?" muttered Dorian. 7058 7059"Where else should I be?" he answered, listlessly. "None of the chaps 7060will speak to me now." 7061 7062"I thought you had left England." 7063 7064"Darlington is not going to do anything. My brother paid the bill at 7065last. George doesn't speak to me either.... I don't care," he added 7066with a sigh. "As long as one has this stuff, one doesn't want friends. 7067I think I have had too many friends." 7068 7069Dorian winced and looked round at the grotesque things that lay in such 7070fantastic postures on the ragged mattresses. The twisted limbs, the 7071gaping mouths, the staring lustreless eyes, fascinated him. He knew in 7072what strange heavens they were suffering, and what dull hells were 7073teaching them the secret of some new joy. They were better off than he 7074was. He was prisoned in thought. Memory, like a horrible malady, was 7075eating his soul away. From time to time he seemed to see the eyes of 7076Basil Hallward looking at him. Yet he felt he could not stay. The 7077presence of Adrian Singleton troubled him. He wanted to be where no 7078one would know who he was. He wanted to escape from himself. 7079 7080"I am going on to the other place," he said after a pause. 7081 7082"On the wharf?" 7083 7084"Yes." 7085 7086"That mad-cat is sure to be there. They won't have her in this place 7087now." 7088 7089Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I am sick of women who love one. 7090Women who hate one are much more interesting. Besides, the stuff is 7091better." 7092 7093"Much the same." 7094 7095"I like it better. Come and have something to drink. I must have 7096something." 7097 7098"I don't want anything," murmured the young man. 7099 7100"Never mind." 7101 7102Adrian Singleton rose up wearily and followed Dorian to the bar. A 7103half-caste, in a ragged turban and a shabby ulster, grinned a hideous 7104greeting as he thrust a bottle of brandy and two tumblers in front of 7105them. The women sidled up and began to chatter. Dorian turned his 7106back on them and said something in a low voice to Adrian Singleton. 7107 7108A crooked smile, like a Malay crease, writhed across the face of one of 7109the women. "We are very proud to-night," she sneered. 7110 7111"For God's sake don't talk to me," cried Dorian, stamping his foot on 7112the ground. "What do you want? Money? Here it is. Don't ever talk 7113to me again." 7114 7115Two red sparks flashed for a moment in the woman's sodden eyes, then 7116flickered out and left them dull and glazed. She tossed her head and 7117raked the coins off the counter with greedy fingers. Her companion 7118watched her enviously. 7119 7120"It's no use," sighed Adrian Singleton. "I don't care to go back. 7121What does it matter? I am quite happy here." 7122 7123"You will write to me if you want anything, won't you?" said Dorian, 7124after a pause. 7125 7126"Perhaps." 7127 7128"Good night, then." 7129 7130"Good night," answered the young man, passing up the steps and wiping 7131his parched mouth with a handkerchief. 7132 7133Dorian walked to the door with a look of pain in his face. As he drew 7134the curtain aside, a hideous laugh broke from the painted lips of the 7135woman who had taken his money. "There goes the devil's bargain!" she 7136hiccoughed, in a hoarse voice. 7137 7138"Curse you!" he answered, "don't call me that." 7139 7140She snapped her fingers. "Prince Charming is what you like to be 7141called, ain't it?" she yelled after him. 7142 7143The drowsy sailor leaped to his feet as she spoke, and looked wildly 7144round. The sound of the shutting of the hall door fell on his ear. He 7145rushed out as if in pursuit. 7146 7147Dorian Gray hurried along the quay through the drizzling rain. His 7148meeting with Adrian Singleton had strangely moved him, and he wondered 7149if the ruin of that young life was really to be laid at his door, as 7150Basil Hallward had said to him with such infamy of insult. He bit his 7151lip, and for a few seconds his eyes grew sad. Yet, after all, what did 7152it matter to him? One's days were too brief to take the burden of 7153another's errors on one's shoulders. Each man lived his own life and 7154paid his own price for living it. The only pity was one had to pay so 7155often for a single fault. One had to pay over and over again, indeed. 7156In her dealings with man, destiny never closed her accounts. 7157 7158There are moments, psychologists tell us, when the passion for sin, or 7159for what the world calls sin, so dominates a nature that every fibre of 7160the body, as every cell of the brain, seems to be instinct with fearful 7161impulses. Men and women at such moments lose the freedom of their 7162will. They move to their terrible end as automatons move. Choice is 7163taken from them, and conscience is either killed, or, if it lives at 7164all, lives but to give rebellion its fascination and disobedience its 7165charm. For all sins, as theologians weary not of reminding us, are 7166sins of disobedience. When that high spirit, that morning star of 7167evil, fell from heaven, it was as a rebel that he fell. 7168 7169Callous, concentrated on evil, with stained mind, and soul hungry for 7170rebellion, Dorian Gray hastened on, quickening his step as he went, but 7171as he darted aside into a dim archway, that had served him often as a 7172short cut to the ill-famed place where he was going, he felt himself 7173suddenly seized from behind, and before he had time to defend himself, 7174he was thrust back against the wall, with a brutal hand round his 7175throat. 7176 7177He struggled madly for life, and by a terrible effort wrenched the 7178tightening fingers away. In a second he heard the click of a revolver, 7179and saw the gleam of a polished barrel, pointing straight at his head, 7180and the dusky form of a short, thick-set man facing him. 7181 7182"What do you want?" he gasped. 7183 7184"Keep quiet," said the man. "If you stir, I shoot you." 7185 7186"You are mad. What have I done to you?" 7187 7188"You wrecked the life of Sibyl Vane," was the answer, "and Sibyl Vane 7189was my sister. She killed herself. I know it. Her death is at your 7190door. I swore I would kill you in return. For years I have sought 7191you. I had no clue, no trace. The two people who could have described 7192you were dead. I knew nothing of you but the pet name she used to call 7193you. I heard it to-night by chance. Make your peace with God, for 7194to-night you are going to die." 7195 7196Dorian Gray grew sick with fear. "I never knew her," he stammered. "I 7197never heard of her. You are mad." 7198 7199"You had better confess your sin, for as sure as I am James Vane, you 7200are going to die." There was a horrible moment. Dorian did not know 7201what to say or do. "Down on your knees!" growled the man. "I give you 7202one minute to make your peace--no more. I go on board to-night for 7203India, and I must do my job first. One minute. That's all." 7204 7205Dorian's arms fell to his side. Paralysed with terror, he did not know 7206what to do. Suddenly a wild hope flashed across his brain. "Stop," he 7207cried. "How long ago is it since your sister died? Quick, tell me!" 7208 7209"Eighteen years," said the man. "Why do you ask me? What do years 7210matter?" 7211 7212"Eighteen years," laughed Dorian Gray, with a touch of triumph in his 7213voice. "Eighteen years! Set me under the lamp and look at my face!" 7214 7215James Vane hesitated for a moment, not understanding what was meant. 7216Then he seized Dorian Gray and dragged him from the archway. 7217 7218Dim and wavering as was the wind-blown light, yet it served to show him 7219the hideous error, as it seemed, into which he had fallen, for the face 7220of the man he had sought to kill had all the bloom of boyhood, all the 7221unstained purity of youth. He seemed little more than a lad of twenty 7222summers, hardly older, if older indeed at all, than his sister had been 7223when they had parted so many years ago. It was obvious that this was 7224not the man who had destroyed her life. 7225 7226He loosened his hold and reeled back. "My God! my God!" he cried, "and 7227I would have murdered you!" 7228 7229Dorian Gray drew a long breath. "You have been on the brink of 7230committing a terrible crime, my man," he said, looking at him sternly. 7231"Let this be a warning to you not to take vengeance into your own 7232hands." 7233 7234"Forgive me, sir," muttered James Vane. "I was deceived. A chance 7235word I heard in that damned den set me on the wrong track." 7236 7237"You had better go home and put that pistol away, or you may get into 7238trouble," said Dorian, turning on his heel and going slowly down the 7239street. 7240 7241James Vane stood on the pavement in horror. He was trembling from head 7242to foot. After a little while, a black shadow that had been creeping 7243along the dripping wall moved out into the light and came close to him 7244with stealthy footsteps. He felt a hand laid on his arm and looked 7245round with a start. It was one of the women who had been drinking at 7246the bar. 7247 7248"Why didn't you kill him?" she hissed out, putting haggard face quite 7249close to his. "I knew you were following him when you rushed out from 7250Daly's. You fool! You should have killed him. He has lots of money, 7251and he's as bad as bad." 7252 7253"He is not the man I am looking for," he answered, "and I want no man's 7254money. I want a man's life. The man whose life I want must be nearly 7255forty now. This one is little more than a boy. Thank God, I have not 7256got his blood upon my hands." 7257 7258The woman gave a bitter laugh. "Little more than a boy!" she sneered. 7259"Why, man, it's nigh on eighteen years since Prince Charming made me 7260what I am." 7261 7262"You lie!" cried James Vane. 7263 7264She raised her hand up to heaven. "Before God I am telling the truth," 7265she cried. 7266 7267"Before God?" 7268 7269"Strike me dumb if it ain't so. He is the worst one that comes here. 7270They say he has sold himself to the devil for a pretty face. It's nigh 7271on eighteen years since I met him. He hasn't changed much since then. 7272I have, though," she added, with a sickly leer. 7273 7274"You swear this?" 7275 7276"I swear it," came in hoarse echo from her flat mouth. "But don't give 7277me away to him," she whined; "I am afraid of him. Let me have some 7278money for my night's lodging." 7279 7280He broke from her with an oath and rushed to the corner of the street, 7281but Dorian Gray had disappeared. When he looked back, the woman had 7282vanished also. 7283 7284 7285 7286CHAPTER 17 7287 7288A week later Dorian Gray was sitting in the conservatory at Selby 7289Royal, talking to the pretty Duchess of Monmouth, who with her husband, 7290a jaded-looking man of sixty, was amongst his guests. It was tea-time, 7291and the mellow light of the huge, lace-covered lamp that stood on the 7292table lit up the delicate china and hammered silver of the service at 7293which the duchess was presiding. Her white hands were moving daintily 7294among the cups, and her full red lips were smiling at something that 7295Dorian had whispered to her. Lord Henry was lying back in a 7296silk-draped wicker chair, looking at them. On a peach-coloured divan 7297sat Lady Narborough, pretending to listen to the duke's description of 7298the last Brazilian beetle that he had added to his collection. Three 7299young men in elaborate smoking-suits were handing tea-cakes to some of 7300the women. The house-party consisted of twelve people, and there were 7301more expected to arrive on the next day. 7302 7303"What are you two talking about?" said Lord Henry, strolling over to 7304the table and putting his cup down. "I hope Dorian has told you about 7305my plan for rechristening everything, Gladys. It is a delightful idea." 7306 7307"But I don't want to be rechristened, Harry," rejoined the duchess, 7308looking up at him with her wonderful eyes. "I am quite satisfied with 7309my own name, and I am sure Mr. Gray should be satisfied with his." 7310 7311"My dear Gladys, I would not alter either name for the world. They are 7312both perfect. I was thinking chiefly of flowers. Yesterday I cut an 7313orchid, for my button-hole. It was a marvellous spotted thing, as 7314effective as the seven deadly sins. In a thoughtless moment I asked 7315one of the gardeners what it was called. He told me it was a fine 7316specimen of _Robinsoniana_, or something dreadful of that kind. It is a 7317sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to 7318things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one 7319quarrel is with words. That is the reason I hate vulgar realism in 7320literature. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled 7321to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for." 7322 7323"Then what should we call you, Harry?" she asked. 7324 7325"His name is Prince Paradox," said Dorian. 7326 7327"I recognize him in a flash," exclaimed the duchess. 7328 7329"I won't hear of it," laughed Lord Henry, sinking into a chair. "From 7330a label there is no escape! I refuse the title." 7331 7332"Royalties may not abdicate," fell as a warning from pretty lips. 7333 7334"You wish me to defend my throne, then?" 7335 7336"Yes." 7337 7338"I give the truths of to-morrow." 7339 7340"I prefer the mistakes of to-day," she answered. 7341 7342"You disarm me, Gladys," he cried, catching the wilfulness of her mood. 7343 7344"Of your shield, Harry, not of your spear." 7345 7346"I never tilt against beauty," he said, with a wave of his hand. 7347 7348"That is your error, Harry, believe me. You value beauty far too much." 7349 7350"How can you say that? I admit that I think that it is better to be 7351beautiful than to be good. But on the other hand, no one is more ready 7352than I am to acknowledge that it is better to be good than to be ugly." 7353 7354"Ugliness is one of the seven deadly sins, then?" cried the duchess. 7355"What becomes of your simile about the orchid?" 7356 7357"Ugliness is one of the seven deadly virtues, Gladys. You, as a good 7358Tory, must not underrate them. Beer, the Bible, and the seven deadly 7359virtues have made our England what she is." 7360 7361"You don't like your country, then?" she asked. 7362 7363"I live in it." 7364 7365"That you may censure it the better." 7366 7367"Would you have me take the verdict of Europe on it?" he inquired. 7368 7369"What do they say of us?" 7370 7371"That Tartuffe has emigrated to England and opened a shop." 7372 7373"Is that yours, Harry?" 7374 7375"I give it to you." 7376 7377"I could not use it. It is too true." 7378 7379"You need not be afraid. Our countrymen never recognize a description." 7380 7381"They are practical." 7382 7383"They are more cunning than practical. When they make up their ledger, 7384they balance stupidity by wealth, and vice by hypocrisy." 7385 7386"Still, we have done great things." 7387 7388"Great things have been thrust on us, Gladys." 7389 7390"We have carried their burden." 7391 7392"Only as far as the Stock Exchange." 7393 7394She shook her head. "I believe in the race," she cried. 7395 7396"It represents the survival of the pushing." 7397 7398"It has development." 7399 7400"Decay fascinates me more." 7401 7402"What of art?" she asked. 7403 7404"It is a malady." 7405 7406"Love?" 7407 7408"An illusion." 7409 7410"Religion?" 7411 7412"The fashionable substitute for belief." 7413 7414"You are a sceptic." 7415 7416"Never! Scepticism is the beginning of faith." 7417 7418"What are you?" 7419 7420"To define is to limit." 7421 7422"Give me a clue." 7423 7424"Threads snap. You would lose your way in the labyrinth." 7425 7426"You bewilder me. Let us talk of some one else." 7427 7428"Our host is a delightful topic. Years ago he was christened Prince 7429Charming." 7430 7431"Ah! don't remind me of that," cried Dorian Gray. 7432 7433"Our host is rather horrid this evening," answered the duchess, 7434colouring. "I believe he thinks that Monmouth married me on purely 7435scientific principles as the best specimen he could find of a modern 7436butterfly." 7437 7438"Well, I hope he won't stick pins into you, Duchess," laughed Dorian. 7439 7440"Oh! my maid does that already, Mr. Gray, when she is annoyed with me." 7441 7442"And what does she get annoyed with you about, Duchess?" 7443 7444"For the most trivial things, Mr. Gray, I assure you. Usually because 7445I come in at ten minutes to nine and tell her that I must be dressed by 7446half-past eight." 7447 7448"How unreasonable of her! You should give her warning." 7449 7450"I daren't, Mr. Gray. Why, she invents hats for me. You remember the 7451one I wore at Lady Hilstone's garden-party? You don't, but it is nice 7452of you to pretend that you do. Well, she made it out of nothing. All 7453good hats are made out of nothing." 7454 7455"Like all good reputations, Gladys," interrupted Lord Henry. "Every 7456effect that one produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one must be 7457a mediocrity." 7458 7459"Not with women," said the duchess, shaking her head; "and women rule 7460the world. I assure you we can't bear mediocrities. We women, as some 7461one says, love with our ears, just as you men love with your eyes, if 7462you ever love at all." 7463 7464"It seems to me that we never do anything else," murmured Dorian. 7465 7466"Ah! then, you never really love, Mr. Gray," answered the duchess with 7467mock sadness. 7468 7469"My dear Gladys!" cried Lord Henry. "How can you say that? Romance 7470lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art. 7471Besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved. 7472Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely 7473intensifies it. We can have in life but one great experience at best, 7474and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as 7475possible." 7476 7477"Even when one has been wounded by it, Harry?" asked the duchess after 7478a pause. 7479 7480"Especially when one has been wounded by it," answered Lord Henry. 7481 7482The duchess turned and looked at Dorian Gray with a curious expression 7483in her eyes. "What do you say to that, Mr. Gray?" she inquired. 7484 7485Dorian hesitated for a moment. Then he threw his head back and 7486laughed. "I always agree with Harry, Duchess." 7487 7488"Even when he is wrong?" 7489 7490"Harry is never wrong, Duchess." 7491 7492"And does his philosophy make you happy?" 7493 7494"I have never searched for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have 7495searched for pleasure." 7496 7497"And found it, Mr. Gray?" 7498 7499"Often. Too often." 7500 7501The duchess sighed. "I am searching for peace," she said, "and if I 7502don't go and dress, I shall have none this evening." 7503 7504"Let me get you some orchids, Duchess," cried Dorian, starting to his 7505feet and walking down the conservatory. 7506 7507"You are flirting disgracefully with him," said Lord Henry to his 7508cousin. "You had better take care. He is very fascinating." 7509 7510"If he were not, there would be no battle." 7511 7512"Greek meets Greek, then?" 7513 7514"I am on the side of the Trojans. They fought for a woman." 7515 7516"They were defeated." 7517 7518"There are worse things than capture," she answered. 7519 7520"You gallop with a loose rein." 7521 7522"Pace gives life," was the _riposte_. 7523 7524"I shall write it in my diary to-night." 7525 7526"What?" 7527 7528"That a burnt child loves the fire." 7529 7530"I am not even singed. My wings are untouched." 7531 7532"You use them for everything, except flight." 7533 7534"Courage has passed from men to women. It is a new experience for us." 7535 7536"You have a rival." 7537 7538"Who?" 7539 7540He laughed. "Lady Narborough," he whispered. "She perfectly adores 7541him." 7542 7543"You fill me with apprehension. The appeal to antiquity is fatal to us 7544who are romanticists." 7545 7546"Romanticists! You have all the methods of science." 7547 7548"Men have educated us." 7549 7550"But not explained you." 7551 7552"Describe us as a sex," was her challenge. 7553 7554"Sphinxes without secrets." 7555 7556She looked at him, smiling. "How long Mr. Gray is!" she said. "Let us 7557go and help him. I have not yet told him the colour of my frock." 7558 7559"Ah! you must suit your frock to his flowers, Gladys." 7560 7561"That would be a premature surrender." 7562 7563"Romantic art begins with its climax." 7564 7565"I must keep an opportunity for retreat." 7566 7567"In the Parthian manner?" 7568 7569"They found safety in the desert. I could not do that." 7570 7571"Women are not always allowed a choice," he answered, but hardly had he 7572finished the sentence before from the far end of the conservatory came 7573a stifled groan, followed by the dull sound of a heavy fall. Everybody 7574started up. The duchess stood motionless in horror. And with fear in 7575his eyes, Lord Henry rushed through the flapping palms to find Dorian 7576Gray lying face downwards on the tiled floor in a deathlike swoon. 7577 7578He was carried at once into the blue drawing-room and laid upon one of 7579the sofas. After a short time, he came to himself and looked round 7580with a dazed expression. 7581 7582"What has happened?" he asked. "Oh! I remember. Am I safe here, 7583Harry?" He began to tremble. 7584 7585"My dear Dorian," answered Lord Henry, "you merely fainted. That was 7586all. You must have overtired yourself. You had better not come down 7587to dinner. I will take your place." 7588 7589"No, I will come down," he said, struggling to his feet. "I would 7590rather come down. I must not be alone." 7591 7592He went to his room and dressed. There was a wild recklessness of 7593gaiety in his manner as he sat at table, but now and then a thrill of 7594terror ran through him when he remembered that, pressed against the 7595window of the conservatory, like a white handkerchief, he had seen the 7596face of James Vane watching him. 7597 7598 7599 7600CHAPTER 18 7601 7602The next day he did not leave the house, and, indeed, spent most of the 7603time in his own room, sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet 7604indifferent to life itself. The consciousness of being hunted, snared, 7605tracked down, had begun to dominate him. If the tapestry did but 7606tremble in the wind, he shook. The dead leaves that were blown against 7607the leaded panes seemed to him like his own wasted resolutions and wild 7608regrets. When he closed his eyes, he saw again the sailor's face 7609peering through the mist-stained glass, and horror seemed once more to 7610lay its hand upon his heart. 7611 7612But perhaps it had been only his fancy that had called vengeance out of 7613the night and set the hideous shapes of punishment before him. Actual 7614life was chaos, but there was something terribly logical in the 7615imagination. It was the imagination that set remorse to dog the feet 7616of sin. It was the imagination that made each crime bear its misshapen 7617brood. In the common world of fact the wicked were not punished, nor 7618the good rewarded. Success was given to the strong, failure thrust 7619upon the weak. That was all. Besides, had any stranger been prowling 7620round the house, he would have been seen by the servants or the 7621keepers. Had any foot-marks been found on the flower-beds, the 7622gardeners would have reported it. Yes, it had been merely fancy. 7623Sibyl Vane's brother had not come back to kill him. He had sailed away 7624in his ship to founder in some winter sea. From him, at any rate, he 7625was safe. Why, the man did not know who he was, could not know who he 7626was. The mask of youth had saved him. 7627 7628And yet if it had been merely an illusion, how terrible it was to think 7629that conscience could raise such fearful phantoms, and give them 7630visible form, and make them move before one! What sort of life would 7631his be if, day and night, shadows of his crime were to peer at him from 7632silent corners, to mock him from secret places, to whisper in his ear 7633as he sat at the feast, to wake him with icy fingers as he lay asleep! 7634As the thought crept through his brain, he grew pale with terror, and 7635the air seemed to him to have become suddenly colder. Oh! in what a 7636wild hour of madness he had killed his friend! How ghastly the mere 7637memory of the scene! He saw it all again. Each hideous detail came 7638back to him with added horror. Out of the black cave of time, terrible 7639and swathed in scarlet, rose the image of his sin. When Lord Henry 7640came in at six o'clock, he found him crying as one whose heart will 7641break. 7642 7643It was not till the third day that he ventured to go out. There was 7644something in the clear, pine-scented air of that winter morning that 7645seemed to bring him back his joyousness and his ardour for life. But 7646it was not merely the physical conditions of environment that had 7647caused the change. His own nature had revolted against the excess of 7648anguish that had sought to maim and mar the perfection of its calm. 7649With subtle and finely wrought temperaments it is always so. Their 7650strong passions must either bruise or bend. They either slay the man, 7651or themselves die. Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The 7652loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plenitude. 7653Besides, he had convinced himself that he had been the victim of a 7654terror-stricken imagination, and looked back now on his fears with 7655something of pity and not a little of contempt. 7656 7657After breakfast, he walked with the duchess for an hour in the garden 7658and then drove across the park to join the shooting-party. The crisp 7659frost lay like salt upon the grass. The sky was an inverted cup of 7660blue metal. A thin film of ice bordered the flat, reed-grown lake. 7661 7662At the corner of the pine-wood he caught sight of Sir Geoffrey 7663Clouston, the duchess's brother, jerking two spent cartridges out of 7664his gun. He jumped from the cart, and having told the groom to take 7665the mare home, made his way towards his guest through the withered 7666bracken and rough undergrowth. 7667 7668"Have you had good sport, Geoffrey?" he asked. 7669 7670"Not very good, Dorian. I think most of the birds have gone to the 7671open. I dare say it will be better after lunch, when we get to new 7672ground." 7673 7674Dorian strolled along by his side. The keen aromatic air, the brown 7675and red lights that glimmered in the wood, the hoarse cries of the 7676beaters ringing out from time to time, and the sharp snaps of the guns 7677that followed, fascinated him and filled him with a sense of delightful 7678freedom. He was dominated by the carelessness of happiness, by the 7679high indifference of joy. 7680 7681Suddenly from a lumpy tussock of old grass some twenty yards in front 7682of them, with black-tipped ears erect and long hinder limbs throwing it 7683forward, started a hare. It bolted for a thicket of alders. Sir 7684Geoffrey put his gun to his shoulder, but there was something in the 7685animal's grace of movement that strangely charmed Dorian Gray, and he 7686cried out at once, "Don't shoot it, Geoffrey. Let it live." 7687 7688"What nonsense, Dorian!" laughed his companion, and as the hare bounded 7689into the thicket, he fired. There were two cries heard, the cry of a 7690hare in pain, which is dreadful, the cry of a man in agony, which is 7691worse. 7692 7693"Good heavens! I have hit a beater!" exclaimed Sir Geoffrey. "What an 7694ass the man was to get in front of the guns! Stop shooting there!" he 7695called out at the top of his voice. "A man is hurt." 7696 7697The head-keeper came running up with a stick in his hand. 7698 7699"Where, sir? Where is he?" he shouted. At the same time, the firing 7700ceased along the line. 7701 7702"Here," answered Sir Geoffrey angrily, hurrying towards the thicket. 7703"Why on earth don't you keep your men back? Spoiled my shooting for 7704the day." 7705 7706Dorian watched them as they plunged into the alder-clump, brushing the 7707lithe swinging branches aside. In a few moments they emerged, dragging 7708a body after them into the sunlight. He turned away in horror. It 7709seemed to him that misfortune followed wherever he went. He heard Sir 7710Geoffrey ask if the man was really dead, and the affirmative answer of 7711the keeper. The wood seemed to him to have become suddenly alive with 7712faces. There was the trampling of myriad feet and the low buzz of 7713voices. A great copper-breasted pheasant came beating through the 7714boughs overhead. 7715 7716After a few moments--that were to him, in his perturbed state, like 7717endless hours of pain--he felt a hand laid on his shoulder. He started 7718and looked round. 7719 7720"Dorian," said Lord Henry, "I had better tell them that the shooting is 7721stopped for to-day. It would not look well to go on." 7722 7723"I wish it were stopped for ever, Harry," he answered bitterly. "The 7724whole thing is hideous and cruel. Is the man ...?" 7725 7726He could not finish the sentence. 7727 7728"I am afraid so," rejoined Lord Henry. "He got the whole charge of 7729shot in his chest. He must have died almost instantaneously. Come; 7730let us go home." 7731 7732They walked side by side in the direction of the avenue for nearly 7733fifty yards without speaking. Then Dorian looked at Lord Henry and 7734said, with a heavy sigh, "It is a bad omen, Harry, a very bad omen." 7735 7736"What is?" asked Lord Henry. "Oh! this accident, I suppose. My dear 7737fellow, it can't be helped. It was the man's own fault. Why did he 7738get in front of the guns? Besides, it is nothing to us. It is rather 7739awkward for Geoffrey, of course. It does not do to pepper beaters. It 7740makes people think that one is a wild shot. And Geoffrey is not; he 7741shoots very straight. But there is no use talking about the matter." 7742 7743Dorian shook his head. "It is a bad omen, Harry. I feel as if 7744something horrible were going to happen to some of us. To myself, 7745perhaps," he added, passing his hand over his eyes, with a gesture of 7746pain. 7747 7748The elder man laughed. "The only horrible thing in the world is _ennui_, 7749Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness. But we 7750are not likely to suffer from it unless these fellows keep chattering 7751about this thing at dinner. I must tell them that the subject is to be 7752tabooed. As for omens, there is no such thing as an omen. Destiny 7753does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too cruel for that. 7754Besides, what on earth could happen to you, Dorian? You have 7755everything in the world that a man can want. There is no one who would 7756not be delighted to change places with you." 7757 7758"There is no one with whom I would not change places, Harry. Don't 7759laugh like that. I am telling you the truth. The wretched peasant who 7760has just died is better off than I am. I have no terror of death. It 7761is the coming of death that terrifies me. Its monstrous wings seem to 7762wheel in the leaden air around me. Good heavens! don't you see a man 7763moving behind the trees there, watching me, waiting for me?" 7764 7765Lord Henry looked in the direction in which the trembling gloved hand 7766was pointing. "Yes," he said, smiling, "I see the gardener waiting for 7767you. I suppose he wants to ask you what flowers you wish to have on 7768the table to-night. How absurdly nervous you are, my dear fellow! You 7769must come and see my doctor, when we get back to town." 7770 7771Dorian heaved a sigh of relief as he saw the gardener approaching. The 7772man touched his hat, glanced for a moment at Lord Henry in a hesitating 7773manner, and then produced a letter, which he handed to his master. 7774"Her Grace told me to wait for an answer," he murmured. 7775 7776Dorian put the letter into his pocket. "Tell her Grace that I am 7777coming in," he said, coldly. The man turned round and went rapidly in 7778the direction of the house. 7779 7780"How fond women are of doing dangerous things!" laughed Lord Henry. 7781"It is one of the qualities in them that I admire most. A woman will 7782flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on." 7783 7784"How fond you are of saying dangerous things, Harry! In the present 7785instance, you are quite astray. I like the duchess very much, but I 7786don't love her." 7787 7788"And the duchess loves you very much, but she likes you less, so you 7789are excellently matched." 7790 7791"You are talking scandal, Harry, and there is never any basis for 7792scandal." 7793 7794"The basis of every scandal is an immoral certainty," said Lord Henry, 7795lighting a cigarette. 7796 7797"You would sacrifice anybody, Harry, for the sake of an epigram." 7798 7799"The world goes to the altar of its own accord," was the answer. 7800 7801"I wish I could love," cried Dorian Gray with a deep note of pathos in 7802his voice. "But I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the 7803desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own personality has 7804become a burden to me. I want to escape, to go away, to forget. It 7805was silly of me to come down here at all. I think I shall send a wire 7806to Harvey to have the yacht got ready. On a yacht one is safe." 7807 7808"Safe from what, Dorian? You are in some trouble. Why not tell me 7809what it is? You know I would help you." 7810 7811"I can't tell you, Harry," he answered sadly. "And I dare say it is 7812only a fancy of mine. This unfortunate accident has upset me. I have 7813a horrible presentiment that something of the kind may happen to me." 7814 7815"What nonsense!" 7816 7817"I hope it is, but I can't help feeling it. Ah! here is the duchess, 7818looking like Artemis in a tailor-made gown. You see we have come back, 7819Duchess." 7820 7821"I have heard all about it, Mr. Gray," she answered. "Poor Geoffrey is 7822terribly upset. And it seems that you asked him not to shoot the hare. 7823How curious!" 7824 7825"Yes, it was very curious. I don't know what made me say it. Some 7826whim, I suppose. It looked the loveliest of little live things. But I 7827am sorry they told you about the man. It is a hideous subject." 7828 7829"It is an annoying subject," broke in Lord Henry. "It has no 7830psychological value at all. Now if Geoffrey had done the thing on 7831purpose, how interesting he would be! I should like to know some one 7832who had committed a real murder." 7833 7834"How horrid of you, Harry!" cried the duchess. "Isn't it, Mr. Gray? 7835Harry, Mr. Gray is ill again. He is going to faint." 7836 7837Dorian drew himself up with an effort and smiled. "It is nothing, 7838Duchess," he murmured; "my nerves are dreadfully out of order. That is 7839all. I am afraid I walked too far this morning. I didn't hear what 7840Harry said. Was it very bad? You must tell me some other time. I 7841think I must go and lie down. You will excuse me, won't you?" 7842 7843They had reached the great flight of steps that led from the 7844conservatory on to the terrace. As the glass door closed behind 7845Dorian, Lord Henry turned and looked at the duchess with his slumberous 7846eyes. "Are you very much in love with him?" he asked. 7847 7848She did not answer for some time, but stood gazing at the landscape. 7849"I wish I knew," she said at last. 7850 7851He shook his head. "Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty 7852that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful." 7853 7854"One may lose one's way." 7855 7856"All ways end at the same point, my dear Gladys." 7857 7858"What is that?" 7859 7860"Disillusion." 7861 7862"It was my _debut_ in life," she sighed. 7863 7864"It came to you crowned." 7865 7866"I am tired of strawberry leaves." 7867 7868"They become you." 7869 7870"Only in public." 7871 7872"You would miss them," said Lord Henry. 7873 7874"I will not part with a petal." 7875 7876"Monmouth has ears." 7877 7878"Old age is dull of hearing." 7879 7880"Has he never been jealous?" 7881 7882"I wish he had been." 7883 7884He glanced about as if in search of something. "What are you looking 7885for?" she inquired. 7886 7887"The button from your foil," he answered. "You have dropped it." 7888 7889She laughed. "I have still the mask." 7890 7891"It makes your eyes lovelier," was his reply. 7892 7893She laughed again. Her teeth showed like white seeds in a scarlet 7894fruit. 7895 7896Upstairs, in his own room, Dorian Gray was lying on a sofa, with terror 7897in every tingling fibre of his body. Life had suddenly become too 7898hideous a burden for him to bear. The dreadful death of the unlucky 7899beater, shot in the thicket like a wild animal, had seemed to him to 7900pre-figure death for himself also. He had nearly swooned at what Lord 7901Henry had said in a chance mood of cynical jesting. 7902 7903At five o'clock he rang his bell for his servant and gave him orders to 7904pack his things for the night-express to town, and to have the brougham 7905at the door by eight-thirty. He was determined not to sleep another 7906night at Selby Royal. It was an ill-omened place. Death walked there 7907in the sunlight. The grass of the forest had been spotted with blood. 7908 7909Then he wrote a note to Lord Henry, telling him that he was going up to 7910town to consult his doctor and asking him to entertain his guests in 7911his absence. As he was putting it into the envelope, a knock came to 7912the door, and his valet informed him that the head-keeper wished to see 7913him. He frowned and bit his lip. "Send him in," he muttered, after 7914some moments' hesitation. 7915 7916As soon as the man entered, Dorian pulled his chequebook out of a 7917drawer and spread it out before him. 7918 7919"I suppose you have come about the unfortunate accident of this 7920morning, Thornton?" he said, taking up a pen. 7921 7922"Yes, sir," answered the gamekeeper. 7923 7924"Was the poor fellow married? Had he any people dependent on him?" 7925asked Dorian, looking bored. "If so, I should not like them to be left 7926in want, and will send them any sum of money you may think necessary." 7927 7928"We don't know who he is, sir. That is what I took the liberty of 7929coming to you about." 7930 7931"Don't know who he is?" said Dorian, listlessly. "What do you mean? 7932Wasn't he one of your men?" 7933 7934"No, sir. Never saw him before. Seems like a sailor, sir." 7935 7936The pen dropped from Dorian Gray's hand, and he felt as if his heart 7937had suddenly stopped beating. "A sailor?" he cried out. "Did you say 7938a sailor?" 7939 7940"Yes, sir. He looks as if he had been a sort of sailor; tattooed on 7941both arms, and that kind of thing." 7942 7943"Was there anything found on him?" said Dorian, leaning forward and 7944looking at the man with startled eyes. "Anything that would tell his 7945name?" 7946 7947"Some money, sir--not much, and a six-shooter. There was no name of any 7948kind. A decent-looking man, sir, but rough-like. A sort of sailor we 7949think." 7950 7951Dorian started to his feet. A terrible hope fluttered past him. He 7952clutched at it madly. "Where is the body?" he exclaimed. "Quick! I 7953must see it at once." 7954 7955"It is in an empty stable in the Home Farm, sir. The folk don't like 7956to have that sort of thing in their houses. They say a corpse brings 7957bad luck." 7958 7959"The Home Farm! Go there at once and meet me. Tell one of the grooms 7960to bring my horse round. No. Never mind. I'll go to the stables 7961myself. It will save time." 7962 7963In less than a quarter of an hour, Dorian Gray was galloping down the 7964long avenue as hard as he could go. The trees seemed to sweep past him 7965in spectral procession, and wild shadows to fling themselves across his 7966path. Once the mare swerved at a white gate-post and nearly threw him. 7967He lashed her across the neck with his crop. She cleft the dusky air 7968like an arrow. The stones flew from her hoofs. 7969 7970At last he reached the Home Farm. Two men were loitering in the yard. 7971He leaped from the saddle and threw the reins to one of them. In the 7972farthest stable a light was glimmering. Something seemed to tell him 7973that the body was there, and he hurried to the door and put his hand 7974upon the latch. 7975 7976There he paused for a moment, feeling that he was on the brink of a 7977discovery that would either make or mar his life. Then he thrust the 7978door open and entered. 7979 7980On a heap of sacking in the far corner was lying the dead body of a man 7981dressed in a coarse shirt and a pair of blue trousers. A spotted 7982handkerchief had been placed over the face. A coarse candle, stuck in 7983a bottle, sputtered beside it. 7984 7985Dorian Gray shuddered. He felt that his could not be the hand to take 7986the handkerchief away, and called out to one of the farm-servants to 7987come to him. 7988 7989"Take that thing off the face. I wish to see it," he said, clutching 7990at the door-post for support. 7991 7992When the farm-servant had done so, he stepped forward. A cry of joy 7993broke from his lips. The man who had been shot in the thicket was 7994James Vane. 7995 7996He stood there for some minutes looking at the dead body. As he rode 7997home, his eyes were full of tears, for he knew he was safe. 7998 7999 8000 8001CHAPTER 19 8002 8003"There is no use your telling me that you are going to be good," cried 8004Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled 8005with rose-water. "You are quite perfect. Pray, don't change." 8006 8007Dorian Gray shook his head. "No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful 8008things in my life. I am not going to do any more. I began my good 8009actions yesterday." 8010 8011"Where were you yesterday?" 8012 8013"In the country, Harry. I was staying at a little inn by myself." 8014 8015"My dear boy," said Lord Henry, smiling, "anybody can be good in the 8016country. There are no temptations there. That is the reason why 8017people who live out of town are so absolutely uncivilized. 8018Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to. There are 8019only two ways by which man can reach it. One is by being cultured, the 8020other by being corrupt. Country people have no opportunity of being 8021either, so they stagnate." 8022 8023"Culture and corruption," echoed Dorian. "I have known something of 8024both. It seems terrible to me now that they should ever be found 8025together. For I have a new ideal, Harry. I am going to alter. I 8026think I have altered." 8027 8028"You have not yet told me what your good action was. Or did you say 8029you had done more than one?" asked his companion as he spilled into his 8030plate a little crimson pyramid of seeded strawberries and, through a 8031perforated, shell-shaped spoon, snowed white sugar upon them. 8032 8033"I can tell you, Harry. It is not a story I could tell to any one 8034else. I spared somebody. It sounds vain, but you understand what I 8035mean. She was quite beautiful and wonderfully like Sibyl Vane. I 8036think it was that which first attracted me to her. You remember Sibyl, 8037don't you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was not one of our 8038own class, of course. She was simply a girl in a village. But I 8039really loved her. I am quite sure that I loved her. All during this 8040wonderful May that we have been having, I used to run down and see her 8041two or three times a week. Yesterday she met me in a little orchard. 8042The apple-blossoms kept tumbling down on her hair, and she was 8043laughing. We were to have gone away together this morning at dawn. 8044Suddenly I determined to leave her as flowerlike as I had found her." 8045 8046"I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill 8047of real pleasure, Dorian," interrupted Lord Henry. "But I can finish 8048your idyll for you. You gave her good advice and broke her heart. 8049That was the beginning of your reformation." 8050 8051"Harry, you are horrible! You mustn't say these dreadful things. 8052Hetty's heart is not broken. Of course, she cried and all that. But 8053there is no disgrace upon her. She can live, like Perdita, in her 8054garden of mint and marigold." 8055 8056"And weep over a faithless Florizel," said Lord Henry, laughing, as he 8057leaned back in his chair. "My dear Dorian, you have the most curiously 8058boyish moods. Do you think this girl will ever be really content now 8059with any one of her own rank? I suppose she will be married some day 8060to a rough carter or a grinning ploughman. Well, the fact of having 8061met you, and loved you, will teach her to despise her husband, and she 8062will be wretched. From a moral point of view, I cannot say that I 8063think much of your great renunciation. Even as a beginning, it is 8064poor. Besides, how do you know that Hetty isn't floating at the 8065present moment in some starlit mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies 8066round her, like Ophelia?" 8067 8068"I can't bear this, Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest 8069the most serious tragedies. I am sorry I told you now. I don't care 8070what you say to me. I know I was right in acting as I did. Poor 8071Hetty! As I rode past the farm this morning, I saw her white face at 8072the window, like a spray of jasmine. Don't let us talk about it any 8073more, and don't try to persuade me that the first good action I have 8074done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I have ever 8075known, is really a sort of sin. I want to be better. I am going to be 8076better. Tell me something about yourself. What is going on in town? 8077I have not been to the club for days." 8078 8079"The people are still discussing poor Basil's disappearance." 8080 8081"I should have thought they had got tired of that by this time," said 8082Dorian, pouring himself out some wine and frowning slightly. 8083 8084"My dear boy, they have only been talking about it for six weeks, and 8085the British public are really not equal to the mental strain of having 8086more than one topic every three months. They have been very fortunate 8087lately, however. They have had my own divorce-case and Alan Campbell's 8088suicide. Now they have got the mysterious disappearance of an artist. 8089Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the grey ulster who left 8090for Paris by the midnight train on the ninth of November was poor 8091Basil, and the French police declare that Basil never arrived in Paris 8092at all. I suppose in about a fortnight we shall be told that he has 8093been seen in San Francisco. It is an odd thing, but every one who 8094disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a 8095delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world." 8096 8097"What do you think has happened to Basil?" asked Dorian, holding up his 8098Burgundy against the light and wondering how it was that he could 8099discuss the matter so calmly. 8100 8101"I have not the slightest idea. If Basil chooses to hide himself, it 8102is no business of mine. If he is dead, I don't want to think about 8103him. Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me. I hate it." 8104 8105"Why?" said the younger man wearily. 8106 8107"Because," said Lord Henry, passing beneath his nostrils the gilt 8108trellis of an open vinaigrette box, "one can survive everything 8109nowadays except that. Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in 8110the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away. Let us have our 8111coffee in the music-room, Dorian. You must play Chopin to me. The man 8112with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely. Poor Victoria! 8113I was very fond of her. The house is rather lonely without her. Of 8114course, married life is merely a habit, a bad habit. But then one 8115regrets the loss even of one's worst habits. Perhaps one regrets them 8116the most. They are such an essential part of one's personality." 8117 8118Dorian said nothing, but rose from the table, and passing into the next 8119room, sat down to the piano and let his fingers stray across the white 8120and black ivory of the keys. After the coffee had been brought in, he 8121stopped, and looking over at Lord Henry, said, "Harry, did it ever 8122occur to you that Basil was murdered?" 8123 8124Lord Henry yawned. "Basil was very popular, and always wore a 8125Waterbury watch. Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever 8126enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for 8127painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as 8128possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once, 8129and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration 8130for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art." 8131 8132"I was very fond of Basil," said Dorian with a note of sadness in his 8133voice. "But don't people say that he was murdered?" 8134 8135"Oh, some of the papers do. It does not seem to me to be at all 8136probable. I know there are dreadful places in Paris, but Basil was not 8137the sort of man to have gone to them. He had no curiosity. It was his 8138chief defect." 8139 8140"What would you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?" 8141said the younger man. He watched him intently after he had spoken. 8142 8143"I would say, my dear fellow, that you were posing for a character that 8144doesn't suit you. All crime is vulgar, just as all vulgarity is crime. 8145It is not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt 8146your vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs 8147exclusively to the lower orders. I don't blame them in the smallest 8148degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us, 8149simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations." 8150 8151"A method of procuring sensations? Do you think, then, that a man who 8152has once committed a murder could possibly do the same crime again? 8153Don't tell me that." 8154 8155"Oh! anything becomes a pleasure if one does it too often," cried Lord 8156Henry, laughing. "That is one of the most important secrets of life. 8157I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake. One should 8158never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner. But let us 8159pass from poor Basil. I wish I could believe that he had come to such 8160a really romantic end as you suggest, but I can't. I dare say he fell 8161into the Seine off an omnibus and that the conductor hushed up the 8162scandal. Yes: I should fancy that was his end. I see him lying now 8163on his back under those dull-green waters, with the heavy barges 8164floating over him and long weeds catching in his hair. Do you know, I 8165don't think he would have done much more good work. During the last 8166ten years his painting had gone off very much." 8167 8168Dorian heaved a sigh, and Lord Henry strolled across the room and began 8169to stroke the head of a curious Java parrot, a large, grey-plumaged 8170bird with pink crest and tail, that was balancing itself upon a bamboo 8171perch. As his pointed fingers touched it, it dropped the white scurf 8172of crinkled lids over black, glasslike eyes and began to sway backwards 8173and forwards. 8174 8175"Yes," he continued, turning round and taking his handkerchief out of 8176his pocket; "his painting had quite gone off. It seemed to me to have 8177lost something. It had lost an ideal. When you and he ceased to be 8178great friends, he ceased to be a great artist. What was it separated 8179you? I suppose he bored you. If so, he never forgave you. It's a 8180habit bores have. By the way, what has become of that wonderful 8181portrait he did of you? I don't think I have ever seen it since he 8182finished it. Oh! I remember your telling me years ago that you had 8183sent it down to Selby, and that it had got mislaid or stolen on the 8184way. You never got it back? What a pity! it was really a 8185masterpiece. I remember I wanted to buy it. I wish I had now. It 8186belonged to Basil's best period. Since then, his work was that curious 8187mixture of bad painting and good intentions that always entitles a man 8188to be called a representative British artist. Did you advertise for 8189it? You should." 8190 8191"I forget," said Dorian. "I suppose I did. But I never really liked 8192it. I am sorry I sat for it. The memory of the thing is hateful to 8193me. Why do you talk of it? It used to remind me of those curious 8194lines in some play--Hamlet, I think--how do they run?-- 8195 8196 "Like the painting of a sorrow, 8197 A face without a heart." 8198 8199Yes: that is what it was like." 8200 8201Lord Henry laughed. "If a man treats life artistically, his brain is 8202his heart," he answered, sinking into an arm-chair. 8203 8204Dorian Gray shook his head and struck some soft chords on the piano. 8205"'Like the painting of a sorrow,'" he repeated, "'a face without a 8206heart.'" 8207 8208The elder man lay back and looked at him with half-closed eyes. "By 8209the way, Dorian," he said after a pause, "'what does it profit a man if 8210he gain the whole world and lose--how does the quotation run?--his own 8211soul'?" 8212 8213The music jarred, and Dorian Gray started and stared at his friend. 8214"Why do you ask me that, Harry?" 8215 8216"My dear fellow," said Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows in surprise, 8217"I asked you because I thought you might be able to give me an answer. 8218That is all. I was going through the park last Sunday, and close by 8219the Marble Arch there stood a little crowd of shabby-looking people 8220listening to some vulgar street-preacher. As I passed by, I heard the 8221man yelling out that question to his audience. It struck me as being 8222rather dramatic. London is very rich in curious effects of that kind. 8223A wet Sunday, an uncouth Christian in a mackintosh, a ring of sickly 8224white faces under a broken roof of dripping umbrellas, and a wonderful 8225phrase flung into the air by shrill hysterical lips--it was really very 8226good in its way, quite a suggestion. I thought of telling the prophet 8227that art had a soul, but that man had not. I am afraid, however, he 8228would not have understood me." 8229 8230"Don't, Harry. The soul is a terrible reality. It can be bought, and 8231sold, and bartered away. It can be poisoned, or made perfect. There 8232is a soul in each one of us. I know it." 8233 8234"Do you feel quite sure of that, Dorian?" 8235 8236"Quite sure." 8237 8238"Ah! then it must be an illusion. The things one feels absolutely 8239certain about are never true. That is the fatality of faith, and the 8240lesson of romance. How grave you are! Don't be so serious. What have 8241you or I to do with the superstitions of our age? No: we have given 8242up our belief in the soul. Play me something. Play me a nocturne, 8243Dorian, and, as you play, tell me, in a low voice, how you have kept 8244your youth. You must have some secret. I am only ten years older than 8245you are, and I am wrinkled, and worn, and yellow. You are really 8246wonderful, Dorian. You have never looked more charming than you do 8247to-night. You remind me of the day I saw you first. You were rather 8248cheeky, very shy, and absolutely extraordinary. You have changed, of 8249course, but not in appearance. I wish you would tell me your secret. 8250To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take 8251exercise, get up early, or be respectable. Youth! There is nothing 8252like it. It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of youth. The only 8253people to whose opinions I listen now with any respect are people much 8254younger than myself. They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to 8255them her latest wonder. As for the aged, I always contradict the aged. 8256I do it on principle. If you ask them their opinion on something that 8257happened yesterday, they solemnly give you the opinions current in 82581820, when people wore high stocks, believed in everything, and knew 8259absolutely nothing. How lovely that thing you are playing is! I 8260wonder, did Chopin write it at Majorca, with the sea weeping round the 8261villa and the salt spray dashing against the panes? It is marvellously 8262romantic. What a blessing it is that there is one art left to us that 8263is not imitative! Don't stop. I want music to-night. It seems to me 8264that you are the young Apollo and that I am Marsyas listening to you. 8265I have sorrows, Dorian, of my own, that even you know nothing of. The 8266tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. I am 8267amazed sometimes at my own sincerity. Ah, Dorian, how happy you are! 8268What an exquisite life you have had! You have drunk deeply of 8269everything. You have crushed the grapes against your palate. Nothing 8270has been hidden from you. And it has all been to you no more than the 8271sound of music. It has not marred you. You are still the same." 8272 8273"I am not the same, Harry." 8274 8275"Yes, you are the same. I wonder what the rest of your life will be. 8276Don't spoil it by renunciations. At present you are a perfect type. 8277Don't make yourself incomplete. You are quite flawless now. You need 8278not shake your head: you know you are. Besides, Dorian, don't deceive 8279yourself. Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a 8280question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up cells in which 8281thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may fancy 8282yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance tone of colour 8283in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once 8284loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten 8285poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music 8286that you had ceased to play--I tell you, Dorian, that it is on things 8287like these that our lives depend. Browning writes about that 8288somewhere; but our own senses will imagine them for us. There are 8289moments when the odour of _lilas blanc_ passes suddenly across me, and I 8290have to live the strangest month of my life over again. I wish I could 8291change places with you, Dorian. The world has cried out against us 8292both, but it has always worshipped you. It always will worship you. 8293You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is 8294afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything, 8295never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything 8296outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to 8297music. Your days are your sonnets." 8298 8299Dorian rose up from the piano and passed his hand through his hair. 8300"Yes, life has been exquisite," he murmured, "but I am not going to 8301have the same life, Harry. And you must not say these extravagant 8302things to me. You don't know everything about me. I think that if you 8303did, even you would turn from me. You laugh. Don't laugh." 8304 8305"Why have you stopped playing, Dorian? Go back and give me the 8306nocturne over again. Look at that great, honey-coloured moon that 8307hangs in the dusky air. She is waiting for you to charm her, and if 8308you play she will come closer to the earth. You won't? Let us go to 8309the club, then. It has been a charming evening, and we must end it 8310charmingly. There is some one at White's who wants immensely to know 8311you--young Lord Poole, Bournemouth's eldest son. He has already copied 8312your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite 8313delightful and rather reminds me of you." 8314 8315"I hope not," said Dorian with a sad look in his eyes. "But I am tired 8316to-night, Harry. I shan't go to the club. It is nearly eleven, and I 8317want to go to bed early." 8318 8319"Do stay. You have never played so well as to-night. There was 8320something in your touch that was wonderful. It had more expression 8321than I had ever heard from it before." 8322 8323"It is because I am going to be good," he answered, smiling. "I am a 8324little changed already." 8325 8326"You cannot change to me, Dorian," said Lord Henry. "You and I will 8327always be friends." 8328 8329"Yet you poisoned me with a book once. I should not forgive that. 8330Harry, promise me that you will never lend that book to any one. It 8331does harm." 8332 8333"My dear boy, you are really beginning to moralize. You will soon be 8334going about like the converted, and the revivalist, warning people 8335against all the sins of which you have grown tired. You are much too 8336delightful to do that. Besides, it is no use. You and I are what we 8337are, and will be what we will be. As for being poisoned by a book, 8338there is no such thing as that. Art has no influence upon action. It 8339annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books that 8340the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame. 8341That is all. But we won't discuss literature. Come round to-morrow. I 8342am going to ride at eleven. We might go together, and I will take you 8343to lunch afterwards with Lady Branksome. She is a charming woman, and 8344wants to consult you about some tapestries she is thinking of buying. 8345Mind you come. Or shall we lunch with our little duchess? She says 8346she never sees you now. Perhaps you are tired of Gladys? I thought 8347you would be. Her clever tongue gets on one's nerves. Well, in any 8348case, be here at eleven." 8349 8350"Must I really come, Harry?" 8351 8352"Certainly. The park is quite lovely now. I don't think there have 8353been such lilacs since the year I met you." 8354 8355"Very well. I shall be here at eleven," said Dorian. "Good night, 8356Harry." As he reached the door, he hesitated for a moment, as if he 8357had something more to say. Then he sighed and went out. 8358 8359 8360 8361CHAPTER 20 8362 8363It was a lovely night, so warm that he threw his coat over his arm and 8364did not even put his silk scarf round his throat. As he strolled home, 8365smoking his cigarette, two young men in evening dress passed him. He 8366heard one of them whisper to the other, "That is Dorian Gray." He 8367remembered how pleased he used to be when he was pointed out, or stared 8368at, or talked about. He was tired of hearing his own name now. Half 8369the charm of the little village where he had been so often lately was 8370that no one knew who he was. He had often told the girl whom he had 8371lured to love him that he was poor, and she had believed him. He had 8372told her once that he was wicked, and she had laughed at him and 8373answered that wicked people were always very old and very ugly. What a 8374laugh she had!--just like a thrush singing. And how pretty she had 8375been in her cotton dresses and her large hats! She knew nothing, but 8376she had everything that he had lost. 8377 8378When he reached home, he found his servant waiting up for him. He sent 8379him to bed, and threw himself down on the sofa in the library, and 8380began to think over some of the things that Lord Henry had said to him. 8381 8382Was it really true that one could never change? He felt a wild longing 8383for the unstained purity of his boyhood--his rose-white boyhood, as 8384Lord Henry had once called it. He knew that he had tarnished himself, 8385filled his mind with corruption and given horror to his fancy; that he 8386had been an evil influence to others, and had experienced a terrible 8387joy in being so; and that of the lives that had crossed his own, it had 8388been the fairest and the most full of promise that he had brought to 8389shame. But was it all irretrievable? Was there no hope for him? 8390 8391Ah! in what a monstrous moment of pride and passion he had prayed that 8392the portrait should bear the burden of his days, and he keep the 8393unsullied splendour of eternal youth! All his failure had been due to 8394that. Better for him that each sin of his life had brought its sure 8395swift penalty along with it. There was purification in punishment. 8396Not "Forgive us our sins" but "Smite us for our iniquities" should be 8397the prayer of man to a most just God. 8398 8399The curiously carved mirror that Lord Henry had given to him, so many 8400years ago now, was standing on the table, and the white-limbed Cupids 8401laughed round it as of old. He took it up, as he had done on that 8402night of horror when he had first noted the change in the fatal 8403picture, and with wild, tear-dimmed eyes looked into its polished 8404shield. Once, some one who had terribly loved him had written to him a 8405mad letter, ending with these idolatrous words: "The world is changed 8406because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips 8407rewrite history." The phrases came back to his memory, and he repeated 8408them over and over to himself. Then he loathed his own beauty, and 8409flinging the mirror on the floor, crushed it into silver splinters 8410beneath his heel. It was his beauty that had ruined him, his beauty 8411and the youth that he had prayed for. But for those two things, his 8412life might have been free from stain. His beauty had been to him but a 8413mask, his youth but a mockery. What was youth at best? A green, an 8414unripe time, a time of shallow moods, and sickly thoughts. Why had he 8415worn its livery? Youth had spoiled him. 8416 8417It was better not to think of the past. Nothing could alter that. It 8418was of himself, and of his own future, that he had to think. James 8419Vane was hidden in a nameless grave in Selby churchyard. Alan Campbell 8420had shot himself one night in his laboratory, but had not revealed the 8421secret that he had been forced to know. The excitement, such as it 8422was, over Basil Hallward's disappearance would soon pass away. It was 8423already waning. He was perfectly safe there. Nor, indeed, was it the 8424death of Basil Hallward that weighed most upon his mind. It was the 8425living death of his own soul that troubled him. Basil had painted the 8426portrait that had marred his life. He could not forgive him that. It 8427was the portrait that had done everything. Basil had said things to 8428him that were unbearable, and that he had yet borne with patience. The 8429murder had been simply the madness of a moment. As for Alan Campbell, 8430his suicide had been his own act. He had chosen to do it. It was 8431nothing to him. 8432 8433A new life! That was what he wanted. That was what he was waiting 8434for. Surely he had begun it already. He had spared one innocent 8435thing, at any rate. He would never again tempt innocence. He would be 8436good. 8437 8438As he thought of Hetty Merton, he began to wonder if the portrait in 8439the locked room had changed. Surely it was not still so horrible as it 8440had been? Perhaps if his life became pure, he would be able to expel 8441every sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil 8442had already gone away. He would go and look. 8443 8444He took the lamp from the table and crept upstairs. As he unbarred the 8445door, a smile of joy flitted across his strangely young-looking face 8446and lingered for a moment about his lips. Yes, he would be good, and 8447the hideous thing that he had hidden away would no longer be a terror 8448to him. He felt as if the load had been lifted from him already. 8449 8450He went in quietly, locking the door behind him, as was his custom, and 8451dragged the purple hanging from the portrait. A cry of pain and 8452indignation broke from him. He could see no change, save that in the 8453eyes there was a look of cunning and in the mouth the curved wrinkle of 8454the hypocrite. The thing was still loathsome--more loathsome, if 8455possible, than before--and the scarlet dew that spotted the hand seemed 8456brighter, and more like blood newly spilled. Then he trembled. Had it 8457been merely vanity that had made him do his one good deed? Or the 8458desire for a new sensation, as Lord Henry had hinted, with his mocking 8459laugh? Or that passion to act a part that sometimes makes us do things 8460finer than we are ourselves? Or, perhaps, all these? And why was the 8461red stain larger than it had been? It seemed to have crept like a 8462horrible disease over the wrinkled fingers. There was blood on the 8463painted feet, as though the thing had dripped--blood even on the hand 8464that had not held the knife. Confess? Did it mean that he was to 8465confess? To give himself up and be put to death? He laughed. He felt 8466that the idea was monstrous. Besides, even if he did confess, who 8467would believe him? There was no trace of the murdered man anywhere. 8468Everything belonging to him had been destroyed. He himself had burned 8469what had been below-stairs. The world would simply say that he was mad. 8470They would shut him up if he persisted in his story.... Yet it was 8471his duty to confess, to suffer public shame, and to make public 8472atonement. There was a God who called upon men to tell their sins to 8473earth as well as to heaven. Nothing that he could do would cleanse him 8474till he had told his own sin. His sin? He shrugged his shoulders. 8475The death of Basil Hallward seemed very little to him. He was thinking 8476of Hetty Merton. For it was an unjust mirror, this mirror of his soul 8477that he was looking at. Vanity? Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Had there 8478been nothing more in his renunciation than that? There had been 8479something more. At least he thought so. But who could tell? ... No. 8480There had been nothing more. Through vanity he had spared her. In 8481hypocrisy he had worn the mask of goodness. For curiosity's sake he 8482had tried the denial of self. He recognized that now. 8483 8484But this murder--was it to dog him all his life? Was he always to be 8485burdened by his past? Was he really to confess? Never. There was 8486only one bit of evidence left against him. The picture itself--that 8487was evidence. He would destroy it. Why had he kept it so long? Once 8488it had given him pleasure to watch it changing and growing old. Of 8489late he had felt no such pleasure. It had kept him awake at night. 8490When he had been away, he had been filled with terror lest other eyes 8491should look upon it. It had brought melancholy across his passions. 8492Its mere memory had marred many moments of joy. It had been like 8493conscience to him. Yes, it had been conscience. He would destroy it. 8494 8495He looked round and saw the knife that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He 8496had cleaned it many times, till there was no stain left upon it. It 8497was bright, and glistened. As it had killed the painter, so it would 8498kill the painter's work, and all that that meant. It would kill the 8499past, and when that was dead, he would be free. It would kill this 8500monstrous soul-life, and without its hideous warnings, he would be at 8501peace. He seized the thing, and stabbed the picture with it. 8502 8503There was a cry heard, and a crash. The cry was so horrible in its 8504agony that the frightened servants woke and crept out of their rooms. 8505Two gentlemen, who were passing in the square below, stopped and looked 8506up at the great house. They walked on till they met a policeman and 8507brought him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there was 8508no answer. Except for a light in one of the top windows, the house was 8509all dark. After a time, he went away and stood in an adjoining portico 8510and watched. 8511 8512"Whose house is that, Constable?" asked the elder of the two gentlemen. 8513 8514"Mr. Dorian Gray's, sir," answered the policeman. 8515 8516They looked at each other, as they walked away, and sneered. One of 8517them was Sir Henry Ashton's uncle. 8518 8519Inside, in the servants' part of the house, the half-clad domestics 8520were talking in low whispers to each other. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying 8521and wringing her hands. Francis was as pale as death. 8522 8523After about a quarter of an hour, he got the coachman and one of the 8524footmen and crept upstairs. They knocked, but there was no reply. 8525They called out. Everything was still. Finally, after vainly trying 8526to force the door, they got on the roof and dropped down on to the 8527balcony. The windows yielded easily--their bolts were old. 8528 8529When they entered, they found hanging upon the wall a splendid portrait 8530of their master as they had last seen him, in all the wonder of his 8531exquisite youth and beauty. Lying on the floor was a dead man, in 8532evening dress, with a knife in his heart. He was withered, wrinkled, 8533and loathsome of visage. It was not till they had examined the rings 8534that they recognized who it was. 8535 8536 8537 8538 8539 8540 8541 8542 8543 8544End of Project Gutenberg's The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde 8545 8546*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY *** 8547 8548***** This file should be named 174.txt or 174.zip ***** 8549This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: 8550 http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/174/ 8551 8552Produced by Judith Boss. 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