1 2 3 4 5 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND 6 7 Lewis Carroll 8 9 THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9 10 11 12 13 14 CHAPTER I 15 16 Down the Rabbit-Hole 17 18 19 Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister 20on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had 21peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no 22pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' 23thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?' 24 25 So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, 26for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether 27the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble 28of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White 29Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. 30 31 There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice 32think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to 33itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought 34it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have 35wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); 36but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT- 37POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to 38her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never 39before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to 40take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the 41field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop 42down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. 43 44 In another moment down went Alice after it, never once 45considering how in the world she was to get out again. 46 47 The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, 48and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a 49moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself 50falling down a very deep well. 51 52 Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she 53had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to 54wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look 55down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to 56see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and 57noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; 58here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She 59took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was 60labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it 61was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing 62somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she 63fell past it. 64 65 `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I 66shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll 67all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, 68even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely 69true.) 70 71 Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I 72wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 73`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let 74me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, 75you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her 76lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good 77opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to 78listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes, 79that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude 80or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, 81or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to 82say.) 83 84 Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right 85THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the 86people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I 87think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this 88time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall 89have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. 90Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried 91to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling 92through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what 93an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll 94never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' 95 96 Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon 97began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I 98should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember 99her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were 100down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but 101you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. 102But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get 103rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of 104way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do 105bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either 106question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt 107that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she 108was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very 109earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a 110bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of 111sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. 112 113 Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a 114moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her 115was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in 116sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: 117away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it 118say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late 119it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the 120corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found 121herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps 122hanging from the roof. 123 124 There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; 125and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the 126other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, 127wondering how she was ever to get out again. 128 129 Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of 130solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, 131and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the 132doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or 133the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of 134them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low 135curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little 136door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key 137in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! 138 139 Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small 140passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and 141looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. 142How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about 143among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but 144she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if 145my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of 146very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish 147I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only 148know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things 149had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few 150things indeed were really impossible. 151 152 There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she 153went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on 154it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like 155telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which 156certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck 157of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' 158beautifully printed on it in large letters. 159 160 It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little 161Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look 162first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; 163for she had read several nice little histories about children who 164had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant 165things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules 166their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker 167will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your 168finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had 169never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 170`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or 171later. 172 173 However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured 174to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort 175of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast 176turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished 177it off. 178 179 * * * * * * * 180 181 * * * * * * 182 183 * * * * * * * 184 185 `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up 186like a telescope.' 187 188 And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and 189her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right 190size for going though the little door into that lovely garden. 191First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was 192going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about 193this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my 194going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be 195like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is 196like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember 197ever having seen such a thing. 198 199 After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided 200on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when 201she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden 202key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she 203could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly 204through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the 205legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had 206tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and 207cried. 208 209 `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to 210herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' 211She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very 212seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so 213severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered 214trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game 215of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious 216child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no 217use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, 218there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable 219person!' 220 221 Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under 222the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on 223which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 224`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, 225I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep 226under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I 227don't care which happens!' 228 229 She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which 230way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to 231feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to 232find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally 233happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the 234way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, 235that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the 236common way. 237 238 So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. 239 240 * * * * * * * 241 242 * * * * * * 243 244 * * * * * * * 245 246 247 248 249 CHAPTER II 250 251 The Pool of Tears 252 253 254 `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much 255surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good 256English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that 257ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her 258feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so 259far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on 260your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't 261be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself 262about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be 263kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the 264way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of 265boots every Christmas.' 266 267 And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 268`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll 269seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the 270directions will look! 271 272 ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. 273 HEARTHRUG, 274 NEAR THE FENDER, 275 (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). 276 277Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' 278 279 Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in 280fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took 281up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door. 282 283 Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one 284side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get 285through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to 286cry again. 287 288 `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great 289girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in 290this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all 291the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool 292all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the 293hall. 294 295 After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the 296distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. 297It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a 298pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the 299other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to 300himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she 301be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate 302that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit 303came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please, 304sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid 305gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard 306as he could go. 307 308 Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very 309hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 310`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday 311things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in 312the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this 313morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little 314different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in 315the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began 316thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age 317as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of 318them. 319 320 `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such 321long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm 322sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, 323oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, 324and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the 325things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, 326and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! 327I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the 328Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. 329London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, 330and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been 331changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' 332and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, 333and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and 334strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:-- 335 336 `How doth the little crocodile 337 Improve his shining tail, 338 And pour the waters of the Nile 339 On every golden scale! 340 341 `How cheerfully he seems to grin, 342 How neatly spread his claws, 343 And welcome little fishes in 344 With gently smiling jaws!' 345 346 `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and 347her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel 348after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little 349house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so 350many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm 351Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their 352heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look 353up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I 354like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down 355here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a 356sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads 357down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!' 358 359 As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was 360surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little 361white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done 362that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up 363and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, 364as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, 365and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the 366cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it 367hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. 368 369`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at 370the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in 371existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed 372back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut 373again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as 374before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, 375`for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare 376it's too bad, that it is!' 377 378 As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another 379moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first 380idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that 381case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had 382been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general 383conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find 384a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in 385the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and 386behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that 387she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine 388feet high. 389 390 `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, 391trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I 392suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer 393thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.' 394 395 Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a 396little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at 397first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then 398she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that 399it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself. 400 401 `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this 402mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should 403think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in 404trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of 405this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' 406(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: 407she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having 408seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a 409mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather 410inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little 411eyes, but it said nothing. 412 413 `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I 414daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the 415Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had 416no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she 417began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in 418her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the 419water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg 420your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the 421poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' 422 423 `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate 424voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?' 425 426 `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be 427angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: 428I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. 429She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, 430as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so 431nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and 432she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital 433one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, 434for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt 435certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any 436more if you'd rather not.' 437 438 `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end 439of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family 440always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear 441the name again!' 442 443 `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the 444subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' 445The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is 446such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! 447A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly 448brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and 449it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I 450can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you 451know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! 452He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a 453sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the 454Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and 455making quite a commotion in the pool as it went. 456 457 So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back 458again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't 459like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam 460slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice 461thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to 462the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll 463understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' 464 465 It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded 466with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a 467Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious 468creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the 469shore. 470 471 472 473 CHAPTER III 474 475 A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 476 477 478 They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the 479bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their 480fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and 481uncomfortable. 482 483 The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they 484had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed 485quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with 486them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had 487quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, 488and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; 489and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, 490and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no 491more to be said. 492 493 At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among 494them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL 495soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large 496ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes 497anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad 498cold if she did not get dry very soon. 499 500 `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? 501This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! 502"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was 503soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been 504of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and 505Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"' 506 507 `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. 508 509 `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very 510politely: `Did you speak?' 511 512 `Not I!' said the Lory hastily. 513 514 `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and 515Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: 516and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found 517it advisable--"' 518 519 `Found WHAT?' said the Duck. 520 521 `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you 522know what "it" means.' 523 524 `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said 525the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, 526what did the archbishop find?' 527 528 The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, 529`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William 530and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was 531moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you 532getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it 533spoke. 534 535 `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't 536seem to dry me at all.' 537 538 `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I 539move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more 540energetic remedies--' 541 542 `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of 543half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do 544either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: 545some of the other birds tittered audibly. 546 547 `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 548`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' 549 550 `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much 551to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY 552ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. 553 554 `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' 555(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter 556day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) 557 558 First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the 559exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party 560were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, 561two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, 562and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know 563when the race was over. However, when they had been running half 564an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called 565out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, 566and asking, `But who has won?' 567 568 This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of 569thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon 570its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, 571in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At 572last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have 573prizes.' 574 575 `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices 576asked. 577 578 `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with 579one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, 580calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!' 581 582 Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand 583in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt 584water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. 585There was exactly one a-piece all round. 586 587 `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. 588 589 `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have 590you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. 591 592 `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. 593 594 `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. 595 596 Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo 597solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of 598this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short 599speech, they all cheered. 600 601 Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked 602so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not 603think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, 604looking as solemn as she could. 605 606 The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise 607and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not 608taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on 609the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again 610in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more. 611 612 `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 613`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half 614afraid that it would be offended again. 615 616 `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to 617Alice, and sighing. 618 619 `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with 620wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And 621she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so 622that her idea of the tale was something like this:-- 623 624 `Fury said to a 625 mouse, That he 626 met in the 627 house, 628 "Let us 629 both go to 630 law: I will 631 prosecute 632 YOU. --Come, 633 I'll take no 634 denial; We 635 must have a 636 trial: For 637 really this 638 morning I've 639 nothing 640 to do." 641 Said the 642 mouse to the 643 cur, "Such 644 a trial, 645 dear Sir, 646 With 647 no jury 648 or judge, 649 would be 650 wasting 651 our 652 breath." 653 "I'll be 654 judge, I'll 655 be jury," 656 Said 657 cunning 658 old Fury: 659 "I'll 660 try the 661 whole 662 cause, 663 and 664 condemn 665 you 666 to 667 death."' 668 669 670 `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 671`What are you thinking of?' 672 673 `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to 674the fifth bend, I think?' 675 676 `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. 677 678 `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and 679looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!' 680 681 `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up 682and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!' 683 684 `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily 685offended, you know!' 686 687 The Mouse only growled in reply. 688 689 `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after 690it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but 691the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little 692quicker. 693 694 `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it 695was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of 696saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you 697never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the 698young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the 699patience of an oyster!' 700 701 `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, 702addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!' 703 704 `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' 705said the Lory. 706 707 Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about 708her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for 709catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her 710after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look 711at it!' 712 713 This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. 714Some of the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began 715wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be 716getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary 717called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my 718dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts 719they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. 720 721 `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a 722melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm 723sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I 724wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice 725began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. 726In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of 727footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping 728that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to 729finish his story. 730 731 732 733 CHAPTER IV 734 735 The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill 736 737 738 It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and 739looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; 740and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! 741Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me 742executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have 743dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was 744looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she 745very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were 746nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her 747swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and 748the little door, had vanished completely. 749 750 Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, 751and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE 752you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of 753gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened 754that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without 755trying to explain the mistake it had made. 756 757 `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 758`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd 759better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' 760As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door 761of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT' 762engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried 763upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, 764and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and 765gloves. 766 767 `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going 768messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on 769messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that 770would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready 771for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see 772that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went 773on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering 774people about like that!' 775 776 By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with 777a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two 778or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and 779a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when 780her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- 781glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' 782but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know 783SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, 784`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this 785bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for 786really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' 787 788 It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: 789before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing 790against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being 791broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 792`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I 793can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so 794much!' 795 796 Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and 797growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in 798another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried 799the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the 800other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, 801as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one 802foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more, 803whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' 804 805 Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full 806effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, 807and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting 808out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy. 809 810 `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one 811wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about 812by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that 813rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, 814this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! 815When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing 816never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There 817ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when 818I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a 819sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more 820HERE.' 821 822 `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I 823am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman- 824-but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like 825THAT!' 826 827 `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you 828learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no 829room at all for any lesson-books!' 830 831 And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, 832and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few 833minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 834 835 `Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves 836this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the 837stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and 838she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she 839was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no 840reason to be afraid of it. 841 842 Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; 843but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed 844hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it 845say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.' 846 847 `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she 848fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly 849spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not 850get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, 851and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was 852just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something 853of the sort. 854 855 Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are 856you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then 857I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!' 858 859 `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here! 860Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) 861 862 `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' 863 864 `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.') 865 866 `An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it 867fills the whole window!' 868 869 `Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' 870 871 `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it 872away!' 873 874 There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear 875whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer 876honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at 877last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in 878the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more 879sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there 880must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for 881pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I 882don't want to stay in here any longer!' 883 884 She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at 885last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a 886good many voice all talking together: she made out the words: 887`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; 888Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up 889at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half 890high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular- 891-Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind 892that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud 893crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go 894down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, 895then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to 896go down the chimney!' 897 898 `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said 899Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! 900I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is 901narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!' 902 903 She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and 904waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what 905sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close 906above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one 907sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. 908 909 The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes 910Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the 911hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold 912up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? 913What happened to you? Tell us all about it!' 914 915 Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' 916thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm 917better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know 918is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes 919like a sky-rocket!' 920 921 `So you did, old fellow!' said the others. 922 923 `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and 924Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set 925Dinah at you!' 926 927 There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to 928herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any 929sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they 930began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A 931barrowful will do, to begin with.' 932 933 `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to 934doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came 935rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. 936`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, 937`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead 938silence. 939 940 Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all 941turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright 942idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she 943thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it 944can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I 945suppose.' 946 947 So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find 948that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small 949enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and 950found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. 951The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by 952two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. 953They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she 954ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a 955thick wood. 956 957 `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she 958wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again; 959and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. 960I think that will be the best plan.' 961 962 It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and 963simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the 964smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering 965about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over 966her head made her look up in a great hurry. 967 968 An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round 969eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 970`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried 971hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the 972time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it 973would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 974 975 Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of 976stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped 977into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, 978and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice 979dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run 980over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy 981made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in 982its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very 983like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every 984moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle 985again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the 986stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long 987way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat 988down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its 989mouth, and its great eyes half shut. 990 991 This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; 992so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out 993of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the 994distance. 995 996 `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she 997leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself 998with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks 999very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh 1000dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let 1001me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or 1002drink something or other; but the great question is, what?' 1003 1004 The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round 1005her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see 1006anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under 1007the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, 1008about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under 1009it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her 1010that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it. 1011 1012 She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of 1013the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large 1014caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, 1015quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice 1016of her or of anything else. 1017 1018 1019 1020 CHAPTER V 1021 1022 Advice from a Caterpillar 1023 1024 1025 The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in 1026silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1027mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 1028 1029 `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. 1030 1031 This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice 1032replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- 1033at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think 1034I must have been changed several times since then.' 1035 1036 `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 1037`Explain yourself!' 1038 1039 `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because 1040I'm not myself, you see.' 1041 1042 `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. 1043 1044 `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very 1045politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and 1046being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.' 1047 1048 `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. 1049 1050 `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but 1051when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you 1052know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll 1053feel it a little queer, won't you?' 1054 1055 `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. 1056 1057 `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 1058`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.' 1059 1060 `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?' 1061 1062 Which brought them back again to the beginning of the 1063conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's 1064making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, 1065very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' 1066 1067 `Why?' said the Caterpillar. 1068 1069 Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not 1070think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in 1071a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. 1072 1073 `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something 1074important to say!' 1075 1076 This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back 1077again. 1078 1079 `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. 1080 1081 `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as 1082she could. 1083 1084 `No,' said the Caterpillar. 1085 1086 Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else 1087to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth 1088hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but 1089at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth 1090again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?' 1091 1092 `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as 1093I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' 1094 1095 `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. 1096 1097 `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it 1098all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. 1099 1100 `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. 1101 1102 Alice folded her hands, and began:-- 1103 1104 `You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 1105 `And your hair has become very white; 1106 And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- 1107 Do you think, at your age, it is right?' 1108 1109 `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 1110 `I feared it might injure the brain; 1111 But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, 1112 Why, I do it again and again.' 1113 1114 `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, 1115 And have grown most uncommonly fat; 1116 Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- 1117 Pray, what is the reason of that?' 1118 1119 `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 1120 `I kept all my limbs very supple 1121 By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- 1122 Allow me to sell you a couple?' 1123 1124 `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak 1125 For anything tougher than suet; 1126 Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- 1127 Pray how did you manage to do it?' 1128 1129 `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, 1130 And argued each case with my wife; 1131 And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 1132 Has lasted the rest of my life.' 1133 1134 `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose 1135 That your eye was as steady as ever; 1136 Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- 1137 What made you so awfully clever?' 1138 1139 `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' 1140 Said his father; `don't give yourself airs! 1141 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 1142 Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' 1143 1144 1145 `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. 1146 1147 `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the 1148words have got altered.' 1149 1150 `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar 1151decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. 1152 1153 The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 1154 1155 `What size do you want to be?' it asked. 1156 1157 `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 1158`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.' 1159 1160 `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. 1161 1162 Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in 1163her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. 1164 1165 `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. 1166 1167 `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you 1168wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched 1169height to be.' 1170 1171 `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar 1172angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three 1173inches high). 1174 1175 `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. 1176And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so 1177easily offended!' 1178 1179 `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it 1180put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. 1181 1182 This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. 1183In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1184mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got 1185down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely 1186remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and 1187the other side will make you grow shorter.' 1188 1189 `One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to 1190herself. 1191 1192 `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had 1193asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. 1194 1195 Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a 1196minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as 1197it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. 1198However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they 1199would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. 1200 1201 `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a 1202little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment 1203she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her 1204foot! 1205 1206 She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but 1207she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking 1208rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. 1209Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was 1210hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and 1211managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. 1212 1213 1214 * * * * * * * 1215 1216 * * * * * * 1217 1218 * * * * * * * 1219 1220 `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of 1221delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she 1222found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could 1223see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which 1224seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay 1225far below her. 1226 1227 `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where 1228HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I 1229can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no 1230result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the 1231distant green leaves. 1232 1233 As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her 1234head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted 1235to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, 1236like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a 1237graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which 1238she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she 1239had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a 1240hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating 1241her violently with its wings. 1242 1243 `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. 1244 1245 `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!' 1246 1247 `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more 1248subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every 1249way, and nothing seems to suit them!' 1250 1251 `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said 1252Alice. 1253 1254 `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've 1255tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but 1256those serpents! There's no pleasing them!' 1257 1258 Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no 1259use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. 1260 1261 `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the 1262Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and 1263day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' 1264 1265 `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was 1266beginning to see its meaning. 1267 1268 `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued 1269the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was 1270thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come 1271wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' 1272 1273 `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm 1274a--' 1275 1276 `Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're 1277trying to invent something!' 1278 1279 `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she 1280remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day. 1281 1282 `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the 1283deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my 1284time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a 1285serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be 1286telling me next that you never tasted an egg!' 1287 1288 `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very 1289truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as 1290serpents do, you know.' 1291 1292 `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why 1293then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' 1294 1295 This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent 1296for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of 1297adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and 1298what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a 1299serpent?' 1300 1301 `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm 1302not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't 1303want YOURS: I don't like them raw.' 1304 1305 `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it 1306settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the 1307trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled 1308among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and 1309untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the 1310pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very 1311carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and 1312growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had 1313succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. 1314 1315 It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, 1316that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a 1317few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come, 1318there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes 1319are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to 1320another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next 1321thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be 1322done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an 1323open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 1324`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come 1325upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their 1326wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did 1327not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself 1328down to nine inches high. 1329 1330 1331 1332 CHAPTER VI 1333 1334 Pig and Pepper 1335 1336 1337 For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and 1338wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came 1339running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman 1340because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, 1341she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door 1342with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, 1343with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, 1344Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their 1345heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and 1346crept a little way out of the wood to listen. 1347 1348 The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great 1349letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to 1350the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An 1351invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman 1352repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the 1353words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess 1354to play croquet.' 1355 1356 Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled 1357together. 1358 1359 Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into 1360the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped 1361out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the 1362ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky. 1363 1364 Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 1365 1366 `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and 1367that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the 1368door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise 1369inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was 1370a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling 1371and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish 1372or kettle had been broken to pieces. 1373 1374 `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?' 1375 1376 `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went 1377on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For 1378instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let 1379you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time 1380he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But 1381perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so 1382VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might 1383answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud. 1384 1385 `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--' 1386 1387 At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate 1388came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just 1389grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees 1390behind him. 1391 1392 `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, 1393exactly as if nothing had happened. 1394 1395 `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. 1396 1397 `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the 1398first question, you know.' 1399 1400 It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 1401`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the 1402creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!' 1403 1404 The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for 1405repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he 1406said, `on and off, for days and days.' 1407 1408 `But what am I to do?' said Alice. 1409 1410 `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. 1411 1412 `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 1413`he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. 1414 1415 The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of 1416smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a 1417three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was 1418leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to 1419be full of soup. 1420 1421 `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to 1422herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 1423 1424 There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the 1425Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was 1426sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The 1427only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, 1428and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from 1429ear to ear. 1430 1431 `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for 1432she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to 1433speak first, `why your cat grins like that?' 1434 1435 `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. 1436Pig!' 1437 1438 She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice 1439quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed 1440to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on 1441again:-- 1442 1443 `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I 1444didn't know that cats COULD grin.' 1445 1446 `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' 1447 1448 `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, 1449feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. 1450 1451 `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' 1452 1453 Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought 1454it would be as well to introduce some other subject of 1455conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took 1456the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work 1457throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby 1458--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, 1459plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when 1460they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it 1461was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 1462 1463 `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up 1464and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS 1465nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very 1466nearly carried it off. 1467 1468 `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a 1469hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it 1470does.' 1471 1472 `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very 1473glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her 1474knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day 1475and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn 1476round on its axis--' 1477 1478 `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' 1479 1480 Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant 1481to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and 1482seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four 1483hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--' 1484 1485 `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide 1486figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, 1487singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a 1488violent shake at the end of every line: 1489 1490 `Speak roughly to your little boy, 1491 And beat him when he sneezes: 1492 He only does it to annoy, 1493 Because he knows it teases.' 1494 1495 CHORUS. 1496 1497 (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- 1498 1499 `Wow! wow! wow!' 1500 1501 While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept 1502tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing 1503howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- 1504 1505 `I speak severely to my boy, 1506 I beat him when he sneezes; 1507 For he can thoroughly enjoy 1508 The pepper when he pleases!' 1509 1510 CHORUS. 1511 1512 `Wow! wow! wow!' 1513 1514 `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said 1515to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and 1516get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of 1517the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, 1518but it just missed her. 1519 1520 Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- 1521shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all 1522directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor 1523little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, 1524and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, 1525so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much 1526as she could do to hold it. 1527 1528 As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, 1529(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep 1530tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its 1531undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I 1532don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure 1533to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it 1534behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing 1535grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't 1536grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing 1537yourself.' 1538 1539 The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into 1540its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no 1541doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout 1542than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for 1543a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at 1544all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked 1545into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. 1546 1547 No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, 1548my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do 1549with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or 1550grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for 1551some while in silence. 1552 1553 Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I 1554to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted 1555again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some 1556alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was 1557neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be 1558quite absurd for her to carry it further. 1559 1560 So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to 1561see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' 1562she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: 1563but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began 1564thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as 1565pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right 1566way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing 1567the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. 1568 1569 The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- 1570natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great 1571many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. 1572 1573 `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at 1574all know whether it would like the name: however, it only 1575grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought 1576Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I 1577ought to go from here?' 1578 1579 `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said 1580the Cat. 1581 1582 `I don't much care where--' said Alice. 1583 1584 `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. 1585 1586 `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. 1587 1588 `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk 1589long enough.' 1590 1591 Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another 1592question. `What sort of people live about here?' 1593 1594 `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 1595`lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 1596`lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' 1597 1598 `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 1599 1600 `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. 1601I'm mad. You're mad.' 1602 1603 `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. 1604 1605 `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' 1606 1607 Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 1608`And how do you know that you're mad?' 1609 1610 `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant 1611that?' 1612 1613 `I suppose so,' said Alice. 1614 1615 `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's 1616angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm 1617pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' 1618 1619 `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. 1620 1621 `Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet 1622with the Queen to-day?' 1623 1624 `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been 1625invited yet.' 1626 1627 `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. 1628 1629 Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used 1630to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place 1631where it had been, it suddenly appeared again. 1632 1633 `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd 1634nearly forgotten to ask.' 1635 1636 `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had 1637come back in a natural way. 1638 1639 `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. 1640 1641 Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it 1642did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the 1643direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen 1644hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be 1645much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be 1646raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said 1647this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a 1648branch of a tree. 1649 1650 `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. 1651 1652 `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep 1653appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' 1654 1655 `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite 1656slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the 1657grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 1658 1659 `Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 1660`but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever 1661say in my life!' 1662 1663 She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the 1664house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, 1665because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was 1666thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not 1667like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand 1668bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even 1669then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself 1670`Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd 1671gone to see the Hatter instead!' 1672 1673 1674 1675 CHAPTER VII 1676 1677 A Mad Tea-Party 1678 1679 1680 There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, 1681and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a 1682Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two 1683were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the 1684talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' 1685thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.' 1686 1687 The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded 1688together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried 1689out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said 1690Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one 1691end of the table. 1692 1693 `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. 1694 1695 Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it 1696but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked. 1697 1698 `There isn't any,' said the March Hare. 1699 1700 `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice 1701angrily. 1702 1703 `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being 1704invited,' said the March Hare. 1705 1706 `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a 1707great many more than three.' 1708 1709 `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been 1710looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was 1711his first speech. 1712 1713 `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said 1714with some severity; `it's very rude.' 1715 1716 The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all 1717he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' 1718 1719 `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad 1720they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she 1721added aloud. 1722 1723 `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' 1724said the March Hare. 1725 1726 `Exactly so,' said Alice. 1727 1728 `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. 1729 1730 `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what 1731I say--that's the same thing, you know.' 1732 1733 `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just 1734as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat 1735what I see"!' 1736 1737 `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I 1738like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' 1739 1740 `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to 1741be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the 1742same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!' 1743 1744 `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the 1745conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, 1746while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and 1747writing-desks, which wasn't much. 1748 1749 The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of 1750the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his 1751watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking 1752it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. 1753 1754 Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.' 1755 1756 `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter 1757wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March 1758Hare. 1759 1760 `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. 1761 1762 `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter 1763grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' 1764 1765 The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then 1766he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he 1767could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It 1768was the BEST butter, you know.' 1769 1770 Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 1771`What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the 1772month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!' 1773 1774 `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell 1775you what year it is?' 1776 1777 `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's 1778because it stays the same year for such a long time together.' 1779 1780 `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. 1781 1782 Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to 1783have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 1784`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she 1785could. 1786 1787 `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured 1788a little hot tea upon its nose. 1789 1790 The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without 1791opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to 1792remark myself.' 1793 1794 `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to 1795Alice again. 1796 1797 `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?' 1798 1799 `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. 1800 1801 `Nor I,' said the March Hare. 1802 1803 Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better 1804with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that 1805have no answers.' 1806 1807 `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you 1808wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.' 1809 1810 `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. 1811 1812 `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head 1813contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' 1814 1815 `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to 1816beat time when I learn music.' 1817 1818 `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand 1819beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do 1820almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose 1821it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: 1822you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 1823clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!' 1824 1825 (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a 1826whisper.) 1827 1828 `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 1829`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' 1830 1831 `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep 1832it to half-past one as long as you liked.' 1833 1834 `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. 1835 1836 The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied. 1837`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' 1838(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the 1839great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing 1840 1841 "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! 1842 How I wonder what you're at!" 1843 1844You know the song, perhaps?' 1845 1846 `I've heard something like it,' said Alice. 1847 1848 `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:-- 1849 1850 "Up above the world you fly, 1851 Like a tea-tray in the sky. 1852 Twinkle, twinkle--"' 1853 1854Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 1855`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that 1856they had to pinch it to make it stop. 1857 1858 `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 1859`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the 1860time! Off with his head!"' 1861 1862 `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. 1863 1864 `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 1865`he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' 1866 1867 A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so 1868many tea-things are put out here?' she asked. 1869 1870 `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always 1871tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' 1872 1873 `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. 1874 1875 `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.' 1876 1877 `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice 1878ventured to ask. 1879 1880 `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, 1881yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady 1882tells us a story.' 1883 1884 `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at 1885the proposal. 1886 1887 `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, 1888Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. 1889 1890 The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he 1891said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows 1892were saying.' 1893 1894 `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. 1895 1896 `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. 1897 1898 `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep 1899again before it's done.' 1900 1901 `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the 1902Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, 1903Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' 1904 1905 `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great 1906interest in questions of eating and drinking. 1907 1908 `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a 1909minute or two. 1910 1911 `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently 1912remarked; `they'd have been ill.' 1913 1914 `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' 1915 1916 Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways 1917of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went 1918on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' 1919 1920 `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very 1921earnestly. 1922 1923 `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so 1924I can't take more.' 1925 1926 `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very 1927easy to take MORE than nothing.' 1928 1929 `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. 1930 1931 `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked 1932triumphantly. 1933 1934 Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped 1935herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the 1936Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the 1937bottom of a well?' 1938 1939 The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and 1940then said, `It was a treacle-well.' 1941 1942 `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but 1943the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse 1944sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the 1945story for yourself.' 1946 1947 `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt 1948again. I dare say there may be ONE.' 1949 1950 `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he 1951consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they 1952were learning to draw, you know--' 1953 1954 `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. 1955 1956 `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this 1957time. 1958 1959 `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move 1960one place on.' 1961 1962 He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the 1963March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather 1964unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the 1965only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a 1966good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset 1967the milk-jug into his plate. 1968 1969 Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began 1970very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw 1971the treacle from?' 1972 1973 `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so 1974I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, 1975stupid?' 1976 1977 `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not 1978choosing to notice this last remark. 1979 1980 `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' 1981 1982 This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse 1983go on for some time without interrupting it. 1984 1985 `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and 1986rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew 1987all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--' 1988 1989 `Why with an M?' said Alice. 1990 1991 `Why not?' said the March Hare. 1992 1993 Alice was silent. 1994 1995 The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going 1996off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up 1997again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an 1998M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- 1999you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever 2000see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' 2001 2002 `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I 2003don't think--' 2004 2005 `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. 2006 2007 This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got 2008up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep 2009instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her 2010going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that 2011they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were 2012trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. 2013 2014 `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she 2015picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I 2016ever was at in all my life!' 2017 2018 Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a 2019door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. 2020`But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at 2021once.' And in she went. 2022 2023 Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the 2024little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she 2025said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and 2026unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to 2027work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her 2028pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the 2029little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the 2030beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool 2031fountains. 2032 2033 2034 2035 CHAPTER VIII 2036 2037 The Queen's Croquet-Ground 2038 2039 2040 A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the 2041roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at 2042it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious 2043thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up 2044to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go 2045splashing paint over me like that!' 2046 2047 `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged 2048my elbow.' 2049 2050 On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always 2051lay the blame on others!' 2052 2053 `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only 2054yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' 2055 2056 `What for?' said the one who had spoken first. 2057 2058 `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. 2059 2060 `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it 2061was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' 2062 2063 Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all 2064the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as 2065she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the 2066others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. 2067 2068 `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are 2069painting those roses?' 2070 2071 Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a 2072low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to 2073have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; 2074and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads 2075cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore 2076she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously 2077looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' 2078and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon 2079their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice 2080looked round, eager to see the Queen. 2081 2082 First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped 2083like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and 2084feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were 2085ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the 2086soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were 2087ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand 2088in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next 2089came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice 2090recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous 2091manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without 2092noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the 2093King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this 2094grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 2095 2096 Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on 2097her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember 2098every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides, 2099what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people 2100had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see 2101it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited. 2102 2103 When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped 2104and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?' 2105She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in 2106reply. 2107 2108 `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, 2109turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?' 2110 2111 `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very 2112politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of 2113cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!' 2114 2115 `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three 2116gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as 2117they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs 2118was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether 2119they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her 2120own children. 2121 2122 `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 2123`It's no business of MINE.' 2124 2125 The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her 2126for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! 2127Off--' 2128 2129 `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the 2130Queen was silent. 2131 2132 The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 2133`Consider, my dear: she is only a child!' 2134 2135 The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 2136`Turn them over!' 2137 2138 The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. 2139 2140 `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the 2141three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the 2142King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else. 2143 2144 `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' 2145And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you 2146been doing here?' 2147 2148 `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, 2149going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--' 2150 2151 `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the 2152roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, 2153three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate 2154gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection. 2155 2156 `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a 2157large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered 2158about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly 2159marched off after the others. 2160 2161 `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. 2162 2163 `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers 2164shouted in reply. 2165 2166 `That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?' 2167 2168 The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question 2169was evidently meant for her. 2170 2171 `Yes!' shouted Alice. 2172 2173 `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the 2174procession, wondering very much what would happen next. 2175 2176 `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. 2177She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously 2178into her face. 2179 2180 `Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?' 2181 2182 `Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He 2183looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised 2184himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and 2185whispered `She's under sentence of execution.' 2186 2187 `What for?' said Alice. 2188 2189 `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. 2190 2191 `No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity. 2192I said "What for?"' 2193 2194 `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a 2195little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a 2196frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came 2197rather late, and the Queen said--' 2198 2199 `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, 2200and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up 2201against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or 2202two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a 2203curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and 2204furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live 2205flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to 2206stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. 2207 2208 The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her 2209flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, 2210comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, 2211but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened 2212out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it 2213WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a 2214puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: 2215and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, 2216it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled 2217itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, 2218there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she 2219wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers 2220were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the 2221ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very 2222difficult game indeed. 2223 2224 The players all played at once without waiting for turns, 2225quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in 2226a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went 2227stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with 2228her head!' about once in a minute. 2229 2230 Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as 2231yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might 2232happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of 2233me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great 2234wonder is, that there's any one left alive!' 2235 2236 She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering 2237whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a 2238curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at 2239first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to 2240be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I 2241shall have somebody to talk to.' 2242 2243 `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was 2244mouth enough for it to speak with. 2245 2246 Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no 2247use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at 2248least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, 2249and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the 2250game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The 2251Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and 2252no more of it appeared. 2253 2254 `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather 2255a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't 2256hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in 2257particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and 2258you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; 2259for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next 2260walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have 2261croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it 2262saw mine coming!' 2263 2264 `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. 2265 2266 `Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then 2267she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so 2268she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while 2269finishing the game.' 2270 2271 The Queen smiled and passed on. 2272 2273 `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and 2274looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. 2275 2276 `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me 2277to introduce it.' 2278 2279 `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however, 2280it may kiss my hand if it likes.' 2281 2282 `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. 2283 2284 `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me 2285like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke. 2286 2287 `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in 2288some book, but I don't remember where.' 2289 2290 `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and 2291he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I 2292wish you would have this cat removed!' 2293 2294 The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great 2295or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking 2296round. 2297 2298 `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and 2299he hurried off. 2300 2301 Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game 2302was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, 2303screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three 2304of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and 2305she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in 2306such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or 2307not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. 2308 2309 The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, 2310which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one 2311of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her 2312flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where 2313Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up 2314into a tree. 2315 2316 By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, 2317the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 2318`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches 2319are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away 2320under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for 2321a little more conversation with her friend. 2322 2323 When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to 2324find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute 2325going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who 2326were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, 2327and looked very uncomfortable. 2328 2329 The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to 2330settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, 2331though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed 2332to make out exactly what they said. 2333 2334 The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a 2335head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had 2336never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin 2337at HIS time of life. 2338 2339 The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be 2340beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. 2341 2342 The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about 2343it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. 2344(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so 2345grave and anxious.) 2346 2347 Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the 2348Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.' 2349 2350 `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch 2351her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow. 2352 2353 The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, 2354by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely 2355disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and 2356down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. 2357 2358 2359 2360 CHAPTER IX 2361 2362 The Mock Turtle's Story 2363 2364 2365 `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old 2366thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately 2367into Alice's, and they walked off together. 2368 2369 Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and 2370thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had 2371made her so savage when they met in the kitchen. 2372 2373 `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very 2374hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT 2375ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that 2376makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at 2377having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them 2378sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar 2379and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish 2380people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you 2381know--' 2382 2383 She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a 2384little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 2385`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you 2386forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that 2387is, but I shall remember it in a bit.' 2388 2389 `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. 2390 2391 `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a 2392moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up 2393closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 2394 2395 Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, 2396because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was 2397exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, 2398and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not 2399like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. 2400 2401 `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of 2402keeping up the conversation a little. 2403 2404 `'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, 2405'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' 2406 2407 `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody 2408minding their own business!' 2409 2410 `Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, 2411digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 2412`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the 2413sounds will take care of themselves."' 2414 2415 `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to 2416herself. 2417 2418 `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your 2419waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm 2420doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the 2421experiment?' 2422 2423 `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all 2424anxious to have the experiment tried. 2425 2426 `Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both 2427bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock 2428together."' 2429 2430 `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. 2431 2432 `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you 2433have of putting things!' 2434 2435 `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. 2436 2437 `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree 2438to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near 2439here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the 2440less there is of yours."' 2441 2442 `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this 2443last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it 2444is.' 2445 2446 `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of 2447that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put 2448more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than 2449what it might appear to others that what you were or might have 2450been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared 2451to them to be otherwise."' 2452 2453 `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very 2454politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it 2455as you say it.' 2456 2457 `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess 2458replied, in a pleased tone. 2459 2460 `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' 2461said Alice. 2462 2463 `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you 2464a present of everything I've said as yet.' 2465 2466 `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't 2467give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to 2468say it out loud. 2469 2470 `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her 2471sharp little chin. 2472 2473 `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was 2474beginning to feel a little worried. 2475 2476 `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to 2477fly; and the m--' 2478 2479 But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died 2480away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the 2481arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, 2482and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, 2483frowning like a thunderstorm. 2484 2485 `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak 2486voice. 2487 2488 `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on 2489the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, 2490and that in about half no time! Take your choice!' 2491 2492 The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. 2493 2494 `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice 2495was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her 2496back to the croquet-ground. 2497 2498 The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, 2499and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, 2500they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a 2501moment's delay would cost them their lives. 2502 2503 All the time they were playing the Queen never left off 2504quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his 2505head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were 2506taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave 2507off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour 2508or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the 2509King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of 2510execution. 2511 2512 Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to 2513Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?' 2514 2515 `No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' 2516 2517 `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. 2518 2519 `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. 2520 2521 `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his 2522history,' 2523 2524 As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low 2525voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, 2526THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite 2527unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered. 2528 2529 They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the 2530sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 2531`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to 2532see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and 2533see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, 2534leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like 2535the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would 2536be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage 2537Queen: so she waited. 2538 2539 The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the 2540Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' 2541said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. 2542 2543 `What IS the fun?' said Alice. 2544 2545 `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they 2546never executes nobody, you know. Come on!' 2547 2548 `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went 2549slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life, 2550never!' 2551 2552 They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the 2553distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, 2554as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart 2555would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she 2556asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the 2557same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got 2558no sorrow, you know. Come on!' 2559 2560 So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with 2561large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. 2562 2563 `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to 2564know your history, she do.' 2565 2566 `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow 2567tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've 2568finished.' 2569 2570 So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice 2571thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he 2572doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently. 2573 2574 `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was 2575a real Turtle.' 2576 2577 These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only 2578by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and 2579the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very 2580nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your 2581interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be 2582more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. 2583 2584 `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more 2585calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to 2586school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call 2587him Tortoise--' 2588 2589 `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. 2590 2591 `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock 2592Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!' 2593 2594 `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple 2595question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and 2596looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At 2597last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow! 2598Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words: 2599 2600 `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe 2601it--' 2602 2603 `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. 2604 2605 `You did,' said the Mock Turtle. 2606 2607 `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak 2608again. The Mock Turtle went on. 2609 2610 `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school 2611every day--' 2612 2613 `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be 2614so proud as all that.' 2615 2616 `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. 2617 2618 `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.' 2619 2620 `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. 2621 2622 `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. 2623 2624 `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock 2625Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the 2626end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."' 2627 2628 `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the 2629bottom of the sea.' 2630 2631 `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a 2632sigh. `I only took the regular course.' 2633 2634 `What was that?' inquired Alice. 2635 2636 `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock 2637Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic-- 2638Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' 2639 2640 `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What 2641is it?' 2642 2643 The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never 2644heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify 2645is, I suppose?' 2646 2647 `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything-- 2648prettier.' 2649 2650 `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to 2651uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.' 2652 2653 Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about 2654it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you 2655to learn?' 2656 2657 `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting 2658off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern, 2659with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old 2660conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us 2661Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.' 2662 2663 `What was THAT like?' said Alice. 2664 2665 `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm 2666too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.' 2667 2668 `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics 2669master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.' 2670 2671 `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he 2672taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.' 2673 2674 `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; 2675and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. 2676 2677 `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a 2678hurry to change the subject. 2679 2680 `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the 2681next, and so on.' 2682 2683 `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. 2684 2685 `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon 2686remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.' 2687 2688 This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a 2689little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day 2690must have been a holiday?' 2691 2692 `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. 2693 2694 `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. 2695 2696 `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a 2697very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.' 2698 2699 2700 2701 CHAPTER X 2702 2703 The Lobster Quadrille 2704 2705 2706 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper 2707across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for 2708a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone 2709in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him 2710and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered 2711his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on 2712again:-- 2713 2714 `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' 2715said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' 2716(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, 2717and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful 2718thing a Lobster Quadrille is!' 2719 2720 `No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?' 2721 2722 `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the 2723sea-shore--' 2724 2725 `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon, 2726and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of 2727the way--' 2728 2729 `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. 2730 2731 `--you advance twice--' 2732 2733 `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. 2734 2735 `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to 2736partners--' 2737 2738 `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the 2739Gryphon. 2740 2741 `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--' 2742 2743 `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. 2744 2745 `--as far out to sea as you can--' 2746 2747 `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. 2748 2749 `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, 2750capering wildly about. 2751 2752 `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the 2753Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, 2754who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat 2755down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. 2756 2757 `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. 2758 2759 `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. 2760 2761 `Very much indeed,' said Alice. 2762 2763 `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the 2764Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall 2765sing?' 2766 2767 `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.' 2768 2769 So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now 2770and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and 2771waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle 2772sang this, very slowly and sadly:-- 2773 2774 2775`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. 2776"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my 2777 tail. 2778See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 2779They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the 2780dance? 2781 2782Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 2783dance? 2784Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the 2785dance? 2786 2787 2788"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be 2789When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to 2790 sea!" 2791But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look 2792 askance-- 2793Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the 2794 dance. 2795 Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join 2796 the dance. 2797 Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join 2798 the dance. 2799 2800`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. 2801"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. 2802The further off from England the nearer is to France-- 2803Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. 2804 2805 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 2806 dance? 2807 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the 2808 dance?"' 2809 2810 2811 2812 `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said 2813Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so 2814like that curious song about the whiting!' 2815 2816 `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've 2817seen them, of course?' 2818 2819 `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she 2820checked herself hastily. 2821 2822 `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but 2823if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're 2824like.' 2825 2826 `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their 2827tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' 2828 2829 `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 2830`crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails 2831in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle 2832yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all 2833that,' he said to the Gryphon. 2834 2835 `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with 2836the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So 2837they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in 2838their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.' 2839 2840 `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew 2841so much about a whiting before.' 2842 2843 `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the 2844Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?' 2845 2846 `I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?' 2847 2848 `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very 2849solemnly. 2850 2851 Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she 2852repeated in a wondering tone. 2853 2854 `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I 2855mean, what makes them so shiny?' 2856 2857 Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she 2858gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.' 2859 2860 `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep 2861voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.' 2862 2863 `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great 2864curiosity. 2865 2866 `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather 2867impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.' 2868 2869 `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were 2870still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep 2871back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"' 2872 2873 `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle 2874said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.' 2875 2876 `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. 2877 2878 `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came 2879to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With 2880what porpoise?"' 2881 2882 `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. 2883 2884 `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended 2885tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR 2886adventures.' 2887 2888 `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' 2889said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to 2890yesterday, because I was a different person then.' 2891 2892 `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. 2893 2894 `No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an 2895impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.' 2896 2897 So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when 2898she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about 2899it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on 2900each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she 2901gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly 2902quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, 2903FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming 2904different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 2905`That's very curious.' 2906 2907 `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. 2908 2909 `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated 2910thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat 2911something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as 2912if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. 2913 2914 `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said 2915the Gryphon. 2916 2917 `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat 2918lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' 2919However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so 2920full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was 2921saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-- 2922 2923 `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, 2924 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." 2925 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 2926 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' 2927 2928 [later editions continued as follows 2929 When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, 2930 And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, 2931 But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, 2932 His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] 2933 2934 `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' 2935said the Gryphon. 2936 2937 `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it 2938sounds uncommon nonsense.' 2939 2940 Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her 2941hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way 2942again. 2943 2944 `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. 2945 2946 `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with 2947the next verse.' 2948 2949 `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD 2950he turn them out with his nose, you know?' 2951 2952 `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was 2953dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the 2954subject. 2955 2956 `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 2957`it begins "I passed by his garden."' 2958 2959 Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would 2960all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- 2961 2962 `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 2963 How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' 2964 2965 [later editions continued as follows 2966 The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, 2967 While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. 2968 When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, 2969 Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: 2970 While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, 2971 And concluded the banquet--] 2972 2973 `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle 2974interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far 2975the most confusing thing I ever heard!' 2976 2977 `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and 2978Alice was only too glad to do so. 2979 2980 `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the 2981Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you 2982a song?' 2983 2984 `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' 2985Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather 2986offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle 2987Soup," will you, old fellow?' 2988 2989 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes 2990choked with sobs, to sing this:-- 2991 2992 2993 `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, 2994 Waiting in a hot tureen! 2995 Who for such dainties would not stoop? 2996 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2997 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2998 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2999 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 3000 Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3001 Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 3002 3003 `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 3004 Game, or any other dish? 3005 Who would not give all else for two p 3006 ennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 3007 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 3008 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 3009 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 3010 Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3011 Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' 3012 3013 `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had 3014just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' 3015was heard in the distance. 3016 3017 `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, 3018it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song. 3019 3020 `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon 3021only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more 3022faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the 3023melancholy words:-- 3024 3025 `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3026 Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' 3027 3028 3029 3030 CHAPTER XI 3031 3032 Who Stole the Tarts? 3033 3034 3035 The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when 3036they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts 3037of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: 3038the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on 3039each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, 3040with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the 3041other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large 3042dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice 3043quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,' 3044she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed 3045to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about 3046her, to pass away the time. 3047 3048 Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had 3049read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that 3050she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the 3051judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.' 3052 3053 The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown 3054over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he 3055did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly 3056not becoming. 3057 3058 `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve 3059creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because 3060some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they 3061are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over 3062to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and 3063rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the 3064meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just 3065as well. 3066 3067 The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 3068`What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They 3069can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.' 3070 3071 `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in 3072reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the 3073trial.' 3074 3075 `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but 3076she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in 3077the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked 3078anxiously round, to make out who was talking. 3079 3080 Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their 3081shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!' 3082on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them 3083didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his 3084neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in 3085before the trial's over!' thought Alice. 3086 3087 One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, 3088Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got 3089behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it 3090away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was 3091Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of 3092it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write 3093with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very 3094little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 3095 3096 `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. 3097 3098 On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and 3099then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- 3100 3101 `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, 3102 All on a summer day: 3103 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 3104 And took them quite away!' 3105 3106 `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. 3107 3108 `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's 3109a great deal to come before that!' 3110 3111 `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit 3112blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First 3113witness!' 3114 3115 The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in 3116one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg 3117pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I 3118hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.' 3119 3120 `You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you 3121begin?' 3122 3123 The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into 3124the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I 3125think it was,' he said. 3126 3127 `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. 3128 3129 `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. 3130 3131 `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury 3132eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then 3133added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 3134 3135 `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. 3136 3137 `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. 3138 3139 `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who 3140instantly made a memorandum of the fact. 3141 3142 `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 3143`I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.' 3144 3145 Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the 3146Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. 3147 3148 `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or 3149I'll have you executed on the spot.' 3150 3151 This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept 3152shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the 3153Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his 3154teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. 3155 3156 Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which 3157puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was 3158beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she 3159would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she 3160decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for 3161her. 3162 3163 `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was 3164sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.' 3165 3166 `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.' 3167 3168 `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. 3169 3170 `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know 3171you're growing too.' 3172 3173 `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 3174`not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily 3175and crossed over to the other side of the court. 3176 3177 All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the 3178Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to 3179one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the 3180singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter 3181trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. 3182 3183 `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have 3184you executed, whether you're nervous or not.' 3185 3186 `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a 3187trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week 3188or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and 3189the twinkling of the tea--' 3190 3191 `The twinkling of the what?' said the King. 3192 3193 `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. 3194 3195 `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 3196`Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!' 3197 3198 `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things 3199twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--' 3200 3201 `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. 3202 3203 `You did!' said the Hatter. 3204 3205 `I deny it!' said the March Hare. 3206 3207 `He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.' 3208 3209 `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, 3210looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the 3211Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. 3212 3213 `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread- 3214and-butter--' 3215 3216 `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. 3217 3218 `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. 3219 3220 `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you 3221executed.' 3222 3223 The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, 3224and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he 3225began. 3226 3227 `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. 3228 3229 Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately 3230suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a 3231hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had 3232a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: 3233into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat 3234upon it.) 3235 3236 `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often 3237read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some 3238attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the 3239officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant 3240till now.' 3241 3242 `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' 3243continued the King. 3244 3245 `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as 3246it is.' 3247 3248 `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. 3249 3250 Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. 3251 3252 `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we 3253shall get on better.' 3254 3255 `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious 3256look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. 3257 3258 `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the 3259court, without even waiting to put his shoes on. 3260 3261 `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one 3262of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the 3263officer could get to the door. 3264 3265 `Call the next witness!' said the King. 3266 3267 The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the 3268pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before 3269she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began 3270sneezing all at once. 3271 3272 `Give your evidence,' said the King. 3273 3274 `Shan't,' said the cook. 3275 3276 The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a 3277low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' 3278 3279 `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy 3280air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till 3281his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What 3282are tarts made of?' 3283 3284 `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. 3285 3286 `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. 3287 3288 `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that 3289Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch 3290him! Off with his whiskers!' 3291 3292 For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the 3293Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down 3294again, the cook had disappeared. 3295 3296 `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 3297`Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the 3298Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness. 3299It quite makes my forehead ache!' 3300 3301 Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, 3302feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like, 3303`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. 3304Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top 3305of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!' 3306 3307 3308 3309 CHAPTER XII 3310 3311 Alice's Evidence 3312 3313 3314 `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the 3315moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she 3316jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with 3317the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads 3318of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding 3319her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset 3320the week before. 3321 3322 `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great 3323dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, 3324for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and 3325she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once 3326and put back into the jury-box, or they would die. 3327 3328 `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave 3329voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- 3330ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as 3331he said do. 3332 3333 Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she 3334had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing 3335was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable 3336to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that 3337it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it 3338would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.' 3339 3340 As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of 3341being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and 3342handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write 3343out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed 3344too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, 3345gazing up into the roof of the court. 3346 3347 `What do you know about this business?' the King said to 3348Alice. 3349 3350 `Nothing,' said Alice. 3351 3352 `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. 3353 3354 `Nothing whatever,' said Alice. 3355 3356 `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. 3357They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when 3358the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means, 3359of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and 3360making faces at him as he spoke. 3361 3362 `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and 3363went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- 3364unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word 3365sounded best. 3366 3367 Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some 3368`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to 3369look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she 3370thought to herself. 3371 3372 At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily 3373writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out 3374from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE 3375HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' 3376 3377 Everybody looked at Alice. 3378 3379 `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. 3380 3381 `You are,' said the King. 3382 3383 `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. 3384 3385 `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, 3386that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.' 3387 3388 `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. 3389 3390 `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. 3391 3392 The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 3393`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling 3394voice. 3395 3396 `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said 3397the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has 3398just been picked up.' 3399 3400 `What's in it?' said the Queen. 3401 3402 `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems 3403to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' 3404 3405 `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was 3406written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.' 3407 3408 `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. 3409 3410 `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact, 3411there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper 3412as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set 3413of verses.' 3414 3415 `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of 3416they jurymen. 3417 3418 `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the 3419queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) 3420 3421 `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. 3422(The jury all brightened up again.) 3423 3424 `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and 3425they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.' 3426 3427 `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the 3428matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd 3429have signed your name like an honest man.' 3430 3431 There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the 3432first really clever thing the King had said that day. 3433 3434 `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. 3435 3436 `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't 3437even know what they're about!' 3438 3439 `Read them,' said the King. 3440 3441 The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, 3442please your Majesty?' he asked. 3443 3444 `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on 3445till you come to the end: then stop.' 3446 3447 These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- 3448 3449 `They told me you had been to her, 3450 And mentioned me to him: 3451 She gave me a good character, 3452 But said I could not swim. 3453 3454 He sent them word I had not gone 3455 (We know it to be true): 3456 If she should push the matter on, 3457 What would become of you? 3458 3459 I gave her one, they gave him two, 3460 You gave us three or more; 3461 They all returned from him to you, 3462 Though they were mine before. 3463 3464 If I or she should chance to be 3465 Involved in this affair, 3466 He trusts to you to set them free, 3467 Exactly as we were. 3468 3469 My notion was that you had been 3470 (Before she had this fit) 3471 An obstacle that came between 3472 Him, and ourselves, and it. 3473 3474 Don't let him know she liked them best, 3475 For this must ever be 3476 A secret, kept from all the rest, 3477 Between yourself and me.' 3478 3479 `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' 3480said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--' 3481 3482 `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had 3483grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit 3484afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't 3485believe there's an atom of meaning in it.' 3486 3487 The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe 3488there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to 3489explain the paper. 3490 3491 `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a 3492world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And 3493yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his 3494knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some 3495meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you 3496can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave. 3497 3498 The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said. 3499(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) 3500 3501 `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering 3502over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's 3503the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, 3504that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--' 3505 3506 `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said 3507Alice. 3508 3509 `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to 3510the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT. 3511Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my 3512dear, I think?' he said to the Queen. 3513 3514 `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the 3515Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off 3516writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no 3517mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was 3518trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.) 3519 3520 `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round 3521the court with a smile. There was a dead silence. 3522 3523 `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and 3524everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the 3525King said, for about the twentieth time that day. 3526 3527 `No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' 3528 3529 `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having 3530the sentence first!' 3531 3532 `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. 3533 3534 `I won't!' said Alice. 3535 3536 `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. 3537Nobody moved. 3538 3539 `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full 3540size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!' 3541 3542 At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying 3543down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half 3544of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on 3545the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently 3546brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 3547trees upon her face. 3548 3549 `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long 3550sleep you've had!' 3551 3552 `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told 3553her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange 3554Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and 3555when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a 3556curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's 3557getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she 3558ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. 3559 3560 But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her 3561head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of 3562little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began 3563dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:-- 3564 3565 First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the 3566tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes 3567were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her 3568voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back 3569the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and 3570still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place 3571around her became alive the strange creatures of her little 3572sister's dream. 3573 3574 The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried 3575by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the 3576neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as 3577the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, 3578and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate 3579guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the 3580Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once 3581more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's 3582slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, 3583filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable 3584Mock Turtle. 3585 3586 So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in 3587Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and 3588all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only 3589rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the 3590reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep- 3591bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd 3592boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and 3593all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the 3594confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the 3595cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's 3596heavy sobs. 3597 3598 Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of 3599hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how 3600she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and 3601loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about 3602her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager 3603with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of 3604Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their 3605simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, 3606remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. 3607 3608 THE END 3609