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1//   Copyright (C) 2016 and later: Unicode, Inc. and others.
2//   License & terms of use: http://www.unicode.org/copyright.html#License
3//
4//   Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines
5//   Corporation and others.  All Rights Reserved.
6//
7//  root.txt
8//
9//     root resource file for ufortune.
10//     This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle
11//     matches the requested locale.
12//
13
14//   ufortune has three resources
15//     usage         - the usage string to display if there's a command line error
16//                     or in response to -? or --help.
17//     optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized
18//                     option on the command line.
19//     fortunes      - An array of strings, the fortune messages.
20//
21
22root {
23
24   usage           {"usage: ufortune [-v]  [-l locale]"}
25   optionMessage   {"unrecognized command line option:"}
26
27
28//
29//  These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files.
30
31   fortunes {
32
33
34"186,282 miles per second:
35
36It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!",
37
38"2180, U.S. History question:
39        What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what
40office did he later hold?",
41
42"$3,000,000",
43
44"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible
45simulation!\"",
46
47"3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie
48process.  In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
49traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find
50ourselves in.
51                -- Jordan K. Hubbard",
52
53"43rd Law of Computing:
54        Anything that can go wr
55fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped",
56
57"7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)
58        The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National
59        Redwood Forest.",
60
61"7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)
62        The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the
63        Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.",
64
65"99 blocks of crud on the disk,
6699 blocks of crud!
67You patch a bug, and dump it again:
68100 blocks of crud on the disk!
69
70100 blocks of crud on the disk,
71100 blocks of crud!
72You patch a bug, and dump it again:
73101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...",
74
75"A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a
76\"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
77                -- Mahatma Ghandi",
78
79"A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
80Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific
81game.  The player should estimate the distance the ball would have
82traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there,
83preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass.
84                -- Donald A. Metz",
85
86"A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and
87placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or
88rolled into the rough.  Such veering right or left frequently results
89from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball
90and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the
91ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical
92phenomena.
93                -- Donald A. Metz",
94
95"A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
96responsibility at the other.",
97
98"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
99                -- Carl Sandburg",
100
101"A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out
102of a divorce.
103                -- Don Quinn",
104
105"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
106and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
107                -- Mark Twain",
108
109"A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it
110adds up to be real money.
111                -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen",
112
113"A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.",
114
115"A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.",
116
117"A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.",
118
119"... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you
120have turned into a pile of dust.",
121
122"A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
123enlightened him with ours.",
124
125"A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
126as afterward.",
127
128"A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
129poor to protect them from each other.",
130
131"A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.",
132
133"A child can go only so far in life without potty training.  It is not
134mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty
135trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
136                -- Dave Barry",
137
138"A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.",
139
140"A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon.
141Avoid him.  He's a Commie.",
142
143"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
144won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
145                -- Bill Vaughan",
146
147"A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
148                -- Herbert Prochnow",
149
150"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
151wants to read.
152                -- Mark Twain",
153
154"A closed mouth gathers no foot.",
155
156"A computer, to print out a fact,
157Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
158        But this output can be
159        No more than debris,
160If the input was short of exact.
161                -- Gigo",
162
163"A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.",
164
165"A CONS is an object which cares.
166                -- Bernie Greenberg.",
167
168"A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it
169is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.",
170
171"A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
172                -- Dyer",
173
174"A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the
175damned things is ample.
176                -- Rebecca West",
177
178"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
179                -- Ben Franklin",
180
181"A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
182And had an affair with a Saracen.
183        She was not oversexed,
184        Or jealous or vexed,
185She just wanted to make a comparison.",
186
187"A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen
188lantern.
189                -- Edgar A. Shoaff",
190
191"A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?",
192
193"A day without sunshine is like night.",
194
195"A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur
196coat.",
197
198"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
199you will look forward to the trip.",
200
201"        A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was
202eating his morning meal.  \"I would like to give you this personality
203test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\"
204        Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into
205the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".",
206
207"A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...",
208
209"        A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing
210about whose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their
211arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon
212the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because
213Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply
214incredible surgical feat.\"  "
215  }
216}
217