1// Copyright (C) 2016 and later: Unicode, Inc. and others. 2// License & terms of use: http://www.unicode.org/copyright.html#License 3// 4// Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines 5// Corporation and others. All Rights Reserved. 6// 7// root.txt 8// 9// root resource file for ufortune. 10// This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle 11// matches the requested locale. 12// 13 14// ufortune has three resources 15// usage - the usage string to display if there's a command line error 16// or in response to -? or --help. 17// optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized 18// option on the command line. 19// fortunes - An array of strings, the fortune messages. 20// 21 22root { 23 24 usage {"usage: ufortune [-v] [-l locale]"} 25 optionMessage {"unrecognized command line option:"} 26 27 28// 29// These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files. 30 31 fortunes { 32 33 34"186,282 miles per second: 35 36It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!", 37 38"2180, U.S. History question: 39 What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what 40office did he later hold?", 41 42"$3,000,000", 43 44"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible 45simulation!\"", 46 47"3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie 48process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such 49traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find 50ourselves in. 51 -- Jordan K. Hubbard", 52 53"43rd Law of Computing: 54 Anything that can go wr 55fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped", 56 57"7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) 58 The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National 59 Redwood Forest.", 60 61"7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) 62 The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the 63 Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.", 64 65"99 blocks of crud on the disk, 6699 blocks of crud! 67You patch a bug, and dump it again: 68100 blocks of crud on the disk! 69 70100 blocks of crud on the disk, 71100 blocks of crud! 72You patch a bug, and dump it again: 73101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...", 74 75"A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 76\"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. 77 -- Mahatma Ghandi", 78 79"A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. 80Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific 81game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have 82traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, 83preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass. 84 -- Donald A. Metz", 85 86"A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and 87placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or 88rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results 89from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball 90and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the 91ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical 92phenomena. 93 -- Donald A. Metz", 94 95"A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no 96responsibility at the other.", 97 98"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. 99 -- Carl Sandburg", 100 101"A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out 102of a divorce. 103 -- Don Quinn", 104 105"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining 106and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. 107 -- Mark Twain", 108 109"A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it 110adds up to be real money. 111 -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen", 112 113"A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.", 114 115"A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.", 116 117"A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.", 118 119"... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you 120have turned into a pile of dust.", 121 122"A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have 123enlightened him with ours.", 124 125"A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well 126as afterward.", 127 128"A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the 129poor to protect them from each other.", 130 131"A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.", 132 133"A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not 134mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty 135trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators. 136 -- Dave Barry", 137 138"A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.", 139 140"A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. 141Avoid him. He's a Commie.", 142 143"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but 144won't cross the street to vote in a national election. 145 -- Bill Vaughan", 146 147"A city is a large community where people are lonesome together 148 -- Herbert Prochnow", 149 150"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody 151wants to read. 152 -- Mark Twain", 153 154"A closed mouth gathers no foot.", 155 156"A computer, to print out a fact, 157Will divide, multiply, and subtract. 158 But this output can be 159 No more than debris, 160If the input was short of exact. 161 -- Gigo", 162 163"A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.", 164 165"A CONS is an object which cares. 166 -- Bernie Greenberg.", 167 168"A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it 169is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.", 170 171"A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. 172 -- Dyer", 173 174"A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the 175damned things is ample. 176 -- Rebecca West", 177 178"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. 179 -- Ben Franklin", 180 181"A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison 182And had an affair with a Saracen. 183 She was not oversexed, 184 Or jealous or vexed, 185She just wanted to make a comparison.", 186 187"A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen 188lantern. 189 -- Edgar A. Shoaff", 190 191"A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?", 192 193"A day without sunshine is like night.", 194 195"A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur 196coat.", 197 198"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that 199you will look forward to the trip.", 200 201" A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was 202eating his morning meal. \"I would like to give you this personality 203test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\" 204 Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into 205the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".", 206 207"A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...", 208 209" A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing 210about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their 211arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon 212the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because 213Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply 214incredible surgical feat.\" " 215 } 216} 217